My boyfriend has just started doing a close contact sport with girls, should I be worried?

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend has just started doing Jiu-Jitsu. He only started his first week and he said he didn't know there were women involved, and it's a close contact sport. should I be worried?

We fought about it, I tried understanding and learning about the sport via articles, youtube etc to gain a different perceptive. I know he's really passionate about it and I'm happy he's happy but...

It made me feel even worse, the positions are incredibly intimate and sexual. Not comfortable with multiple women on top, wrapping their legs around him and being beneath him (literally) I almost feel violated and threatened.

He s never given me a reason to distrust me, he spoils me. He loves me too much or never enough, I don't know.

I'm a sensitive person and I can't get over this It's something I'm not willing to compromise on and I'm willing to break up our 3 year relationship over it.

am I overreacting?

All advice is appreciated.

[RJGraveyTrain]

Jiu Jitsu is not intimate nor sexual. If you feel violated and threatened, that's on YOU. Sorry to sound like a bitch but you have no right to tell him he can't do what he's passionate about because you can't handle the idea of women sparring with him, which, again, is NOT sexual in any respect.

If you wanna break up with him, he's better off. You're clearly more concerned with your own feelings and not his, and that's not cool when you're in a meaningful relationship.

[Thisperson98]

I have a feeling that she thinks this is sexual: pacificwavejiujitsu.com/.../...ssion-Grappling.jpg
I only have one thing to say about that position, it is not comfortable at all.

[RJGraveyTrain]

@Thisperson98 That's hardly sexual, their clothes are on and they're sparring, likely in front of an entire class.

Just because the position "looks" sexual, doesn't make it sexual.

[Thisperson98]

I never said it was sexual, I am saying that is what asker was thinking.

[RJGraveyTrain]

@Thisperson98 I know, I'm reiterating.

[whattothink]

Any sport more than likely has the chance to have females involved. If you are this upset and jealous I see nothing but bad things for your relationship. He may not even spar/fight with a female.
But being this insecure is bad news.

[SilkyShadows]

You're being way too jealous. That can only end badly for you. Please do yourself a favor and talk to someone about it.

[Fibbett]

Think about it this way: he isn't doing anything with those girls that he is not doing with even more guys. He is treating women like equals. Is that not something you want?

And it's important for those women to train with men. If they only trained with other women, they would less prepared to use it for self defense if they were attacked by a man in real life.

[Thisperson98]

I have rolled with plenty of females before, there is nothing sexual about it.

[KittieCat]

You're overreacting. It's a sport. There's nothing sexual about it and he's passionate about it so you should be happy and encourage him. If it's seriously that bad to you I'd end it for his sake