What are YOUR deal breakers?

[SoFeckinAddicted]

For me:

Fat
Skinny
Bad teeth
Short
Ugly
Pale skin
Too much hair
Too little hair
Has a cat
Loves in his moms basement
Plays video games
Butthurt
Unintelligent
Too nice/sweet

Etc...

So so what are yours?

Updates

+1 y

Also

Anger issues
Controlling

Updates

+1 y

All the bruised egos ayayay

[Penyair]

The ones that I think most of us would have:

* Abusive
* Mind Games
* Have nothing in common
* Aversions to working things out
* Condescending, critical, or overly sarcastic
* Overly comparative or can never be good enough for them
* The sense of humor is always mean
* Overly controlling or jealous
* Think they are perfect and doesn't get that everyone has faults even them
* Addicted to something and won't work on it or avoid it
* Cheater. Being an open relationship or swingers is one thing cheating is another monogamous relationship or not. I've had someone ask if your in an open relationship or swinging how is it cheating. Not being honest about the other people your with. Getting personal or relationship/romantic like with the other person is cheating. Swinging is sex and maybe friendship (friends with benefits) Open relationships still have rules. Also if you know whats going on but they have a partner that doesn't they they are cheating on that person. Cheating is very hurtful behavior. If you can't work it out end the relationship.
* Will not accept no for an answer and hurts or is abusive because of it
* Being like a character in Dumb and Dumber
* Is loud. Some people don't mind the attention but others do.
* Being disrespectful or a bigot
* Can't understand time to yourself, time with friends and time together. Either they are always gone with their buddies, wanting to be overly alone, or they are hovering so much its almost suffocating.

I do admit I find certain physical features attractive. Sadly sometimes they have the ugliest minds and souls. I admit I'm not that attracted to certain physical qualities in a person., But I don't always care if they are fat as long as they aren't morbidly obese. I've been both quite thin (from cancer before), quite built up (working out/military), and fat (health issues/back problems). I'm not perfect so why demand they are. I like hair but I've been with balding or bald. I like darker (brown/black) skin but been with light and not into darkest black. I like dark hair but been with a blond. I like light colored eyes but been with plenty brown eyed. I like them my height to a little taller. More than about 6 inches in either direction starts to get weird physical compatibility wise. But I'm 5ft4. I also like broad shoulders or built upper arms. Not sure why. haha

[PinkMichae]

Wow! Apparently people have deluded themselves thinking they are gonna get perfection. I guarantee you if you all were to really stand by all your deal breakers you will never find anyone. I mean let's say you're so called deal breaker is no fat people. Then you meet this awesome person that you can laugh with, have so much in common, they are attractive, educated, and is going somewhere career wise. Are you really gonna thow that person away because they might be a few pounds overweight. In time you'll realize if you realistically want to find the person you want to spend your life with, Your materialistic dealbreakers will slowly fade once you realize perfect people are only in fairytales. The best deal breakers you'll want to have are ones like cheating, compulsive liar, abusive, etc... when a couple comes together they both have to change and compromise. You're both not gonna like things about each other so you compromise and change to be better versions of yourselves. Seriously take a look at your deal breakers and ask yourself whether you would live up to being the perfect person you want to find?

[SoFeckinAddicted]

I've already found a few

[PinkMichae]

What? A few perfect people? And are you still with them?

[Ses1992]

Amen! I used to have the same type of view as the asker years ago, but life experience has taught me otherwise.

[PinkMichae]

@Ses1992 I think we all think that way a little when we are young. We have to make mistakes, grow, and learn what really is gonna make us happy in life. :)

[Ses1992]

Most definitely! And I see for your age how wise you are, I got another 20 years to go to get to that level.

[PinkMichae]

@Ses1992 lol. Well you seem to be a fast learner. You are wise beyond your years.

[bobbyxx]

Well said. The Asker is a deluded loser. She is a disgrace to humans and a vile creature.

[ElissaDido]

For marriage:

- Shorter than me
- No college/ Uni degree
- Not Muslim
-Slept with a prostitute
- Lazy/unemployed/ doesn't look for a job
- Doesn't want kids
- Bisexual or had any type of homosexual contact
- Too old, older than 32.
- more than 2 years younger than me
- Doesn't want to get married/ doesn't believe in marriage
- Has an STD
- messed up teeth
- Not clean /hygienic
- Has a feminine behavior/ isn't masculine
- Doesn't respect me and my family
- Unattractive to me
- lots of acne on his face
- Too fat/ too skinny
- Not smart and easily manipulated
- Doesn't respect my virginity and my choice of waiting until marriage
- Does Drugs
-Boring
-Not assertive
- Drinks alcohol/ not willing to stop it once we are married
- Isn't traditional enough / chivalrous enough
- has a very different mentality
- Is a cheapskate

[ElissaDido]

- asexual
- arrogant

[ElissaDido]

How did I forget this:
NOT protective/jealous enough / or too much of it

[yedort1]

Shiiit! I wanted to marry you :)

[yedort1]

:D :D

[ElissaDido]

@yedort1 haha what's the problem 😝?

[Peskyn3gr0]

Oh my god, what a fucking nightmare.

[fuqthegovt]

Quite a long list. Good luck in your search for the probably nonexistent. Staying a virgin until marriage as well, you will probably die a virgin.

[madelacroix]

I'll go out on a limb and say this might give me cause to become a Muslim. Lol

[Triss]

@yumix 's funniest gif finds a use here
i0.kym-cdn.com/.../db7.gif

[archiz]

@fuqthegovt not when you re middle eastern..
it just baffles me how people aren t able to acknowledge and respect different traditions in societies.

[archiz]

lol the hate XD

[Triss]

@fuqthegovt staying a virgin till marriage doesn't mean you're gonna die a virgin
It just means you are saving yourself for someone who loves you truly

[madelacroix]

I think those that can hold out are comendable

[Triss]

@madelacroix hold out for sex till marriage?

[ElissaDido]

@fuqthegovt It's the norm in my country. Actually I have more chances of not dying alone by holding into my virginity until marriage than otherwise.

[ElissaDido]

@archiz Thanks Sarah , exactly , they think that they're the center of the world and there is only their way of life and nothing else :/

[madelacroix]

@triss, yep.

[Triss]

@madelacroix cool someone appreciates the fact that we save ourselves till marriage @ElissaDido

[fuqthegovt]

@Triss yeah but with a list that long the marriage has good odds of never happening. no marriage = virginity kept forever if waiting for marriage first.

[ElissaDido]

@fuqthegovt What is so hard to find in my list? I already know dozens of guys who fit in my description

[madelacroix]

I don't know why any guy wouldn't tbh.
Jfk: "we do these things not because they're easy, but because they're hard."
For a girl to make a commitment, and follow through with it, to save her body for one man in western society deserves more than appreciation, it deserves a medal.

[ElissaDido]

@madelacroix Apparently many guys in Western countries don't want virgins, maybe it's the reason why many girls don't save themselves for marriage :p Look at the downvotes haha

[madelacroix]

The problem is that not only does the west idolize infatuation and passionate sex, but that they never speak of its short life span.
In truth I think most guys want a virgin for their wife, but they also want sex. When their immediate desires are not sacrificed for long term happiness you can see where the marriage goes. Over 50% divorce rate.
The west cannot last with this morally corrupt culture.

[Triss]

Nahh don't worry about those downvotes
Just h8ers

[fuqthegovt]

could be just guys that hide their deal-breakers well, assuming they are aware of your list. On this side of the Atlantic the vast majority of men will go to various lengths to pretend to be somebody they are not (until they can't do it anymore, which always happens sooner or later) if they want a woman bad enough. I was guilty of that myself in my 20's before I got tired of the drama it caused. Even in this thread you have a couple guys wanting to convert to Islam since that's on your list lol.

[ElissaDido]

@fuqthegovt lol haha I already had a Agnostic Jew tell me he would convert to Islam a couple of years ago... But I would feel bad to make someone follow my way of life without them being convinced with it, I don't want them to sacrifice things , hence why I want a Muslim.
But yeah, saving myself for marriage will give me more chances of getting married since most men, if not all men in my country want a virgin for a wife (even the most promiscuous and least religious ones).

[madelacroix]

@fuqthegovt I was actually thinking of converting for a couple years now, and since I'll never meet this girl her list isn't germane to my choices.
@elissadido you aren't Palestinian are you?

[ElissaDido]

@madelacroix No I'm Tunisian :)

[madelacroix]

Oh! I ask because I may be moving to Israel next year. Unfortunately North Africa is a region I have not yet visited.

[SoFeckinAddicted]

@madelacroix Israel is amazing. I was there

[madelacroix]

@sofeckin, thanks for the boost in confidence!!

[SoFeckinAddicted]

@madelacroix Are you jewish? Why do you wanna move there?

[AIAthefirst]

i thought i was the only one who saw bisexual as a deal breaker, whew thank God there is some one who shares my opinion.

[madelacroix]

I'm not... But if I was, according to the law of return I could get auto residency, and full citizenship after 3 months

[madelacroix]

All I'd need is the cert of oleh, and I could get a job with Mossad... Just still figuring out whose side I wanna be on.

[SoFeckinAddicted]

@madelacroix Well you're a verified retard.

[SoFeckinAddicted]

Certified*

[madelacroix]

I'm just someone that explores his options. Yet, I'm not sure how to refute insult, derogatory as it is, could you elaborate? Perhaps I could change your mind? 😂

[madelacroix]

*that insult

[SoFeckinAddicted]

@madelacroix If you have to 'choose' which side to be on, you're fucking stupid and think like a child

[madelacroix]

The ability to hold two contradictory views in ones mind simultaneously is a sign of first class intelligence.
Are we as humans not free to choose what we believe? Or are we like "children" who think as we're told?

[SoFeckinAddicted]

@madelacroix You completely missed the point. Do Israel a favour and stay where you are :)

[Omar5881]

This list is longer than my life 😂😂😂😂

[madelacroix]

@sofeckin I think you misunderstood what I meant by side, it wasn't between Idf and Hamas, it was labor and Likud.

[yedort1]

@ElissaDido religion part and one part as well but I can't say that publicly :)

[marckbcn]

@Triss I clap my hands

[Triss]

@marckbcn for good or for bad?

[yellowgirl00d]

1. Too slim or too fat.
2. Not athletic and doesn't life an active lifestyle.
3. Doesn't want kids or marriage.
4. Has no career ambitions.
5. Wants too much/too little sex.
6. Too private with lifestyle.
7. Too short.
8. Doesn't like animals.
9. Is too politically extreme (either right or left)
10. Is a liberal
11. Likes to fight
12. Doesn't appreciate religion. I'm Catholic and I want myself and my kids to go to church.
13. Drinks/smokes too much.
14. Lazy
I could go on and on but I won't bore you.

[madelacroix]

Sounds like you already have something pretty specific in mind.

[yellowgirl00d]

@madelacroix Nah I just got some pretty specific requirements.

[madelacroix]

Good for you, I thought I was being picky.

[yellowgirl00d]

@madelacroix Bruh there's nothing picky about asking for someone who isn't lazy and doesn't smoke and isn't a dumb liberal and wants kids. Like serious that's a big enough part of the population.

[madelacroix]

Hopefully we'll see come November whether it's enough to keep Hillary out

[EvoMan]

Does race matter to you?

[yellowgirl00d]

@madelacroix We're gonna keep crooked hillary out for sure big don's gonna win.
@EvoMan nope I don't want to sound racist but I don't want a Muslim but aside from that everything works.

[madelacroix]

Hahaha finally someone with common sense!!

[EvoMan]

I don't think it's racist at all especially seeing how you're catholic. There would be too big of a difference especially in how your kids would be raised.

[marckbcn]

You don't bore us, thanks, you've thought about it I see, thats good and helpful. Reading girls answers, I see that a lot of you want love for animals. And I think, if I love a girl, why do I have to love animals, cuddle them and so on? If I love her, isn't that enough? I mean, I dont hate animals, but I wouldn't say "yes, I like a lot animals!" "Oh, I wish I had a lot of animals inside our house!"

[Kinstrome]

I think what you are calling "dealbreakers" are actually "preferences." I prefer a girl that has a certain chest size, for instance, but that doesn't mean any girl that doesn't have said chest size is automatically out of the question.

Also, some of those are too general. Of course people are going to prefer someone who isn't ugly and doesn't have bad teeth. That doesn't say anything, though.

But to get to the actual question itself, there are very few things that would absolutely break any chance of me dating someone. Some of those things might be:

-A combination of smoking, being tattooed all over, and being unable to talk about something without cursing constantly.

-Having certain political views about things (which I will not list here) about which she refuses to change her mind, and evaluating matters more by their emotional appeal than whether or not they actually achieve the result in question.

-Being extremely religious, to the point that they would have to try to convert me. (Being a little or fairly religious is not a problem. I grew up in a Christian school so I understand the appeal.)

-Being unable to hold an intellectual conversation. Many unintelligent girls I know are very kind and pleasant to be around, but I just couldn't be in a relationship with somebody who isn't sharp-minded and intellectually challenging.

-Being severely sexually repressed. Sexuality is an important part of relationships. Girls who can't talk about it at all--or who can only do so with giggles and blushes or are extremely uncomfortable--even when we have otherwise become comfortable talking to each other, are not ready to have serious relationships.

-Chronic negativity. I'm not talking about just having a bad mood sometimes. I mean incessant bitterness about things she should just let go of, using sarcasm to demean people, being passive-aggressive, hating generalized groups of people, all that shit.

I may be able to bend on some of those things, but that's the basic outline of things that impede relationships for me. Outside of those things, other factors are just preferences.

[SoFeckinAddicted]

No. They're deal breakers

[19magic]

I only giggle and blush around sex when I'm uncomfortable or don't know that person. Where otherwise I'm quite sexual. Would that still be a deal breaker, the first maybe couple of times?

[Kinstrome]

@19magic Eh, I'm not very strict about it. Half of what I said I'm not really committed to.

[EnglishArtsteacher]

Wow, you have an insane list of deal-breakers! I would recommend being less picky.

With that being said, there aren't many deal-breakers at all with me-I'm one of the least pickiest people I can think of (And I've been told that by many people). However, just like anyone else, I do have some. Here are mine.

-An extreme weight/body size: Either morbidly obese, or severely underweight. I mean women who can barely walk due to how heavy they are, or women who appear to have anorexia (Whether they do or not).
-A genetic deformity. I feel so bad for saying this, but I couldn't get past severe lack of physical attraction.
-An extreme height: Either absurdly tall, or absurdly short. Meaning, women under five feet tall, or women OVER six feet, five inches tall (give or take).

These are the only three I can think of right now.

[SoFeckinAddicted]

I have no reason to be less picky. I've found what I want numerous times

[EnglishArtsteacher]

@SoFeckinAddicted I find it hard to believe you've found a guy who hasn't fallen into these categories, numerous times. Do you mainly, or only dating significantly older men? Because I can't think of ONE Millennial man who doesn't fall into at least one of these categories.

[SoFeckinAddicted]

No. Guys around my age. You probably know losers like yourself. Im not surprised. Bye

[EnglishArtsteacher]

@SoFeckinAddicted I'm not what I consider a "loser", and I know many guys I consider losers, and many who aren't. You don't have to lie to me. You may have came across ONE guy who didn't fall into one of these categories (And even then, I'm still skeptical).

Chances are, you made this list off of the top of your head, but you obviously don't stick with it. If you did, you would probably never have a boyfriend.

[Malloy1997]

@SoFeckinAddicted I'm calling bs! Message me one of the social networking sites of the guys you dated and I bet I can find out he falls into one of these categories.

[SoFeckinAddicted]

@Malloy1997 Wtf gt outta here I have nothing to prove to you

[Malloy1997]

@SofeckinAddicted If you can't show me a link to a profile of 1 of the guys you dated then I know you're lying, it's as simple as that. Seriously me and every person I know falls into a least one of these requirements you listed. That doesn't make us losers.

[SoFeckinAddicted]

@Malloy1997 Profile? Wtf. I date guys I meet irl and there's no way Id give you facebook names of guys I dated irl. For all I know you're some fucking creep behind a computer screen. Again get outta here

[fuqthegovt]

In other words everyone might as well call and assume bullshit now and end the debate, no proof is coming.

[EnglishArtsteacher]

@Malloy1997 The problem is, even if she did send you a link to some of their profiles on social networking sites, she could just say "These guys weren't like that when I dated them"(Whether it's true or not).

I just like the golden art of common sense: It's quite difficult to find ONE person who wouldn't fall into ANY, I repeat, ANY of these categories-Let alone to find "numerous"(In her words) guys who don't fall into these categories.

Either she's blatantly lying, delusional, or she doesn't actually follow this entire list when she picks a guy to date.

[Paul09]

I dislike mean girls like you. No respect, self centered. If you found plenty of guys that meet your list, why are you single? You obviously have anger issues yourself. Video games, living at parents place, too nice and sweet? Well i hope you find the opposite then, mean and rotten personality.

[EnglishArtsteacher]

@Paul09 The video game deal-breaker alone describes probably three-fourths of Millennial men I know. Even though I don't play video games near as much as I used to, I do occasionally play video games. Some people play video games maybe once a year.

And there are still 15 other things on her list lol.

[fuqthegovt]

Yeah I've been doing it several hours a day since Atari 2600 days in the early 80's, have never stopped, and never will. Certainly not for some silly woman, unless the Grim Reaper is a female.

[Paul09]

Same here, I still play video games. Less , and less, but ill play video games as long as i want. I rather be active, but im allowed to be lazy too sometimes. It passes time when bored. Dont know how that has anything to do with Attractiveness.

[yellowmamba024]

QA is a female. No surprise she has an insane amount of list. That looks like a list from an average looking woman because hot women have an even crazier one.

[OlderAndWiser]

1. Can't smoke
2. No alcoholics or drug addicts
3. Can't be stupid or uneducated
4. Must be Judeo-Christian
5. Doesn't need to be rescued
6. Doesn't dwell on expressing negative opinions of others
7. Petite w/cute face
8. Can't be loud and obnoxious
9. Must be feminine
10. Must accept traditional gender roles

[ObscuredBeyond]

- Stubbornly godless. Study archeology. More evidence of Biblical history is being uncovered DAILY! Don't be so friggin' allergic to homework!

- Irrational.

- Nothing but excuses.

- Strings me along.

- Gets annoyed when I make time for her.

- Tries to hide me from others as if I were something to be ashamed of (the essence of being fake!)

- Constantly lying or changing her plans at the last minute, leaving me screwed over because it wasn't important enough to her to inform me of what's changed in a timely fashion.

- Gets mad at me if I don't play a Facebook game by her rules.

- Lies to my mom about my whereabouts.

- Makes sexually suggestive gestures toward anything or anyone that isn't me. (I should not have to compete with the neighbor's dog! That's just disgusting!)

- Bisexual, but especially closeted. If you need reparative therapy, at least admit it to me. Letting certain friends know you struggle with SSA but keeping me in the dark about it is just plain wrong. I shouldn't have to compete for her affections with a woman! Especially behind my back! That's emasculating, to say the least! (And it's cheating!)

- Verbal / emotional abuse

- MCU porn. Especially the Tumblr varieties. Grow the f* up, already!

- "I can't be having you calling me, so just e-mail me instead."
F* you!

- "I just like watching him play basektball, is all."
Bullsh*t. She's cheating! Why is he suddenly in all her photos with her after the breakup with me? Hoodrat hoe!

- Treats me like I'm stupid, then gets offended when I'm not.
Rot in hell, I say!

- Willing to tell lies about me to the cops rather than break up the normal way.
At that point, she should thank her lucky stars I'm not the type of guy who mails spring-trap bombs! Because that guy would have blown her to Timbuktu for pulling such a stunt!

- It's one thing to leave me stood up. It's quite another to demonize me to my Wednesday night meeting group and make them see me as a bad guy, just because you got cold feet. Tell it to my face! Not to everyone whose business it isn't!

- If she's pro-abortion. No child is going to Hell on Moloch's altar on account of me dating a selfish murderer!

- She has a major, incurable STD.

======

I may have missed a few, but those are the ones I can think of. These ladies all started out pretty. And then... the ugliness in their hearts came to the surface.

[strangytie]

I don't think people need reparative therapy for being in a Soprano/Soprano/Alto chorus (SSA). That's such a cruel thing to do to someone, they can't change how they sing.

[ObscuredBeyond]

@strangytie: Same-Sex Attraction. But yeah, that was actually pretty funny. :-P

[guy532]

I mean this with as much respect as possible. You have some major issues to work on. Your list is filled with things that normal people's list is not simply because they'd never get themselves in situations that you've seem to get yourself in which is a major red flag. I'm sorry to say, but from looking at everything you've written it seems that the major glaring problem is not other people, but it's you. I know no one wants to hear that they are the problem, so I'm sorry that I'm breaking it to you, I just want to help. You will never find the perfect girl because she simply doesn't exist. Relationships are about being a team and working together to enrich each other's lives. There will always be bumps on the road, no relationship is perfect, at the end of the day what makes a strong relationship as opposed to a weak one is communication, trust, and the ability to comprise. If your relationship is lacking this that then it is doomed to fail, you seem to lack the ability to let go when

[guy532]

the red flags present themselves.

[guy532]

*comprimise*

[ObscuredBeyond]

@guy532: Much of this was just one gal. Since then, I bail out a lot sooner. It's a list of deal breakers. So... after a lifetime of seeing red flags like this pop up, I think I've seen it all, and now know better what to avoid.

Women who do the things above are incapable of being "worked with." With girlfriends like that, I don't need enemies. I didn't know how to look for the red flags before. I do now.

I'm not looking for a perfect girl. I'm looking for one who will actually make time for me and treat me with respect. The flakes mentioned above have shown me everything to avoid.

At the same time, I will call the gal out on her shit. Because otherwise, she'll visit that on the next man. I know I won't find anyone perfect. At same time, I don't want to be left out in the cold. If I have any problem, it's insecurity and major trust issues.

If any gal takes too long responding now, I immediately brace for impact, fearing the worst.

[ObscuredBeyond]

13 of those red flags were just one woman. Without going into any more detail, we'll just call her Ash.

- Jess had five of those red flags

- Kyung-Ah had one red flag.

- Dana had one red flag.

- The obvious cheater was Wilgrace. But I suspect she was a catfish all along.

I won't name the gal who lied to cops here. She who must not be named.

A lot of these women were introduced to me by others who thought me meeting them would be a "good idea." So it wasn't just my trust they betrayed. Also, these are "deal breakers" for a REASON: seeing the red flags above is what convinced me to cut them loose!

[VSVixen]

Mmm whoof whoof you need a good spank for all that goof

[guy532]

1. She must be looking and open to settling down in the very near future.
2. She must want kids and be able to do so (at least 2).
3. I must find her attractive. She doesn't have to look like a model or anything, I just want to be attracted to her.
4. She must be sweet/caring/loving. I'm the same way and I'd never be able to put up with someone who is cold.
5. She needs to be confident in herself and know how to relax, let loose, and have a good time, basically be light hearted.
6. She must be able to take care of herself. This goes under being clean/organized and also knowing how to cook. I love cooking and cooking with your partner is so much fun.
7. She can't be lazy and she must have some sort of dreams and aspirations that she's working towards.
8. She must also be adventurous and want to try to keep things fresh by trying new things and not being afraid of leaving her comfort zone.

That's my must have list, it sucks when you find someone who checks everything off but one. However, I don't think my list is unreasonable and so I don't think I'm going to change it until I find a girl that completes it.

[guy532]

Actually reading some other people's deal-breakers I want to add some more:
9. She can't be more than 5 years younger or 2 years older.
10. She must not have kids from a previous relationship.

[lacorine197]

funny how the op has nothing but an insult as a list, when you have much more reasonable list.

[guy532]

@lacorine197 that's because maturity levels are different and what we're looking for is different. She's looking for some arm candy while I'm looking for a good girl to settle down with.

[lacorine197]

Aaah true true.

[sparkie101]

OP, I wish you luck in finding your man haha. That is quite the laundry list and encompasses most of the population in some way. It seems perhaps you may have just gotten out of a relationship, but aside from that you had better be gorgeous, incredibly intelligent and be in the works for a top notch career and prepared to spend many years alone to find that perfect guy.

As far as my dealbreakers:

She has to enjoy cuddling. Not 100% all of the time, I just mean physical intimacy has to be important to her

She has to be able to keep me on my toes mentally

She has to be honest

Support my goals. I'm going places. Either go along for the ride or I'm leaving you in the dust (and this works both ways for me. I will support them)

Pretty simple basic list. Other than that I'm not really picky. I've had experiences with all ages and types of women from skinny to fat, thin, short tall, ugly, beautiful, on all aspects of the personality scale and I can honestly say that I'm a simple guy and it doesn't take much to keep me happy.

[Trashay]

Sparkie, you sound like a nice, well rounded man, the kind i would want as you are being real and not overtly shallow :)

[sparkie101]

@Trashay Why thank you! I feel that I am well rounded and have spent many years working on myself to achieve that point.

[Trashay]

I think it just comes with age too. I am not saying to settle, but rather to know that a perfect person does not exist. As i said in my own reply to this, we all over estimate our good qualities and underestimate the bad yet, we hold others to a different, and likely higher standard

[sparkie101]

@Trashay That is completely true, and having a that view point does create a certain dichotomy in issues of the heart. For instance, the one quality I DEMAND is someone is honesty, however at the same time it is readily asking that person to hurt me, at least sometimes, which most people can't really deal with, and that is just one example. I know I hesitate when I know I have to hurt someone.

[ClaudiusDecimus]

unintelligent, bad teeth, fat, never grew up, has 100 guy friends on facebook/twitter, is a feminist, says the words "we're preganant", lies about being raped to get attention (yes this has happened to me), is bipolar, acts like a child and crys when she can't win an argument or make herself the victim, manipulates, talks about marriage in the first month, talks about babies in teh first month, is separated, divorced, has kids, says the words "where have all the good men gone", thinks hilary clinton should be president because she's a woman, never wants me to eat her pussy, always asks really diffiicult emotional questions the second my head hits the pillow and I'm tired, never wants to spoon, talks about our intimate sex life with her friends, is a career woman and always busy or doesn't have a job at all, expects me to pay all the bills, never wants to split the bill, is really messy, doesn't ever want to cook because she thinks that's oppression, thinks muslims and immigrants should come into the country, has abusive parents, talks about her ex's all the time, watches real housewives of whereever or 'the voice' or the 'x-factor' or 'the only way is essex', thinks Europe is a country, never wants to save any money for the future, always talks about what her friends boyfriends do, flirts with other guys, doesn't back me up even if i'm wrong, can't sustain a relationship for more than 3 months, never says I love you back, gets pissed because I have a rule never to date in work, never wears anything sexy even though she has that stuff...

I'm sure I could come up with more...

[19magic]

Oh wow I only have five of them, and hundred guy friends on Facebook most of the time I add anyone I've met on there, not necessarily known plus my male family alone is about 30/40 guys.

[ClaudiusDecimus]

@19magic At the start of a relationship it's okay but after about 6 months if things start getting serious it really creates mistrust. Might as well just rename it fuckbook and get it over with. You get mad because she talks to other guys, she gets mad because you talk to other women. It makes the word friend meaningless, is basically full of posing arseholes and is now just an echo chamber for politically correct opinions.

[19magic]

If someone's always on fb then sure, if they won't allow you to see the messages that's on there. Then something is suspicious, but if you just have people who your friends with on there. When each day you spend maybe ten minutes on there to check pictures of family, I can't understand the problem. If I wanted to fuck someone I'd just use tinder, went on there a week and that's what most of it was about.

[19magic]

And if you get mad if your partner talks to the opposite gender that's stupid. I get flirting is something people get mad about, but there's two kinds there's harmless flirting which I do a lot and obvious flirting + touching and making moves which I solely do and only with a guy I like.

[ClaudiusDecimus]

@19magic I've heard both of those arguments before and they don't hold water. You can't physically check every message someone sends and doing so creates mistrust in itself. As far as I'm concerned if you're not willing to give up facebook for a relationship then you're not worth my time. People who say it's for "friends and family" are just making excuses. If you actually give a damn about close friends and family you make time to spend with them, call, text or email. Facebook is just an addiction many women can't give up and frankly if you'd rather have that than a relationship then in my book you deserve what you get.

[19magic]

I have Facebook for family, friends, gym and society groups for uni. If I didn't have fb then I would have missed out on meetings when room changes are made I wouldn't know about them. This year I'm one of the leaders and so I have to tell 50+ people about room changes time changes and to call/ text every single person would be impractical for many reasons. One and the most important being I don't have their number nor the money for that since I'm not close friends with them, hell some of them I just met.

So that's one of the reasons I have Facebook or should I say I put fb back onto my phone cause I deleted it for a few years and went on it 3/4 times a year.

[fuqthegovt]

-Too fat, acne, or otherwise ugly/unattractive.
-too tall (I like short girls more than Amazon women).
-heavy drinkers or junkies (got burnt out on those long ago, they tend to kill themselves just when it's getting interesting).
-short hair or bald (call me weird but I like hairy girls)
-dumb to the point they are totally retarded and can't learn anything, far worse than simply being naive.
-high-maintenance princesses and gold diggers that expect me to be their personal piggy bank and caretaker and do everything for them.
-over-done tans. I prefer pale/natural complexion (that will start wrinkling 20 years early if not cause cancer) rather than white girls trying to be black or looking like a baked turkey. Even on black girls I prefer the-light skinned version.
-smokers. As a former one myself I can now smell it 50 yards away and to me smells almost as bad as dog shit.
-over-possessive/jealous. A little bit is okay but c'mon, you really shouldn't feel jealous or insecure or getting pissed over an actress in a movie I'm watching and getting a hard-on over (latest was Dove Cameron in Cabinet of Souls).

[Borginborg]

Hey guys leave the poor chick to her standards. All woman have a list of what Mr Right would be. Nobody ever fulfills this list and they learn that as they get older. She is still young and learning about prioritizing what is important to her and trust me this is not a comprehensive list by no means as it does not include anything about unacceptable bedroom stats or grooming stats or eating stats, etc etc.
And kutoos @SoFeckinAddicted for having the courage to post your list and I do hope that someday you find someone that matches what you are looking for :)

[SoFeckinAddicted]

Thanks! :)

[macAmillion]

1. Overly religious (I can handle a little)
2. Melodramatic
3. Violent. I don't want to be with a girl who thinks it's okay to slap her boyfriend. I'm not allowed to slap you (nor would I) so have the same respect. Also, don't break my shit. I had a girl smash my phone one time because I liked my female cousins picture from a family reunion on Facebook.
4. Whiny
5. Pretends to be stupid because she thinks guys find it cute. I like smart girls who aren't ashamed to be smart.
6. Pushover
7. Disrespectful to her parents
8. Lack of self-awareness

[SoFeckinAddicted]

Lol @ num 3

[macAmillion]

Yeah that relationship didn't last long she was a complete psychopath

[RachelBrigs]

A basic list would be

-racist
-below average intelligence
-a lack of knowledge/interest about the world (so you can't discuss politics, social issues, current events, etc)
-total lack of ambition (esp if his future is just entry level jobs)
-no desire to have kids
-has ever been abusive to anyone including animals
-has ever cheated

Appearance wise
-overweight
-really short- like below 5'5"
-horrible teeth
-bad hygiene

That's just a few I can think of off the top of my head

[heythereambak]

5'5 is really short according to you?

[RachelBrigs]

@heythereambak said under 5'5"
In the US average male height is 5'9"-5'10" so yeah 5-6" under average is really short to me. I'm just shy of 5'3" myself so I'd prefer he's more than a couple inches taller

[RachelBrigs]

But take that with a grain of salt- ex was like 5'5"

[heythereambak]

That would have been too hard for you to feel sexually attracted to him because he was girloer small in height

[RachelBrigs]

@heythereambak I loved my ex, and when I loved him I was attracted to him despite any perceived "flaws. " so like I said take it with a grain of salt

[heythereambak]

I don't understand take it with a grain of salt phrase anyway. Initially it might have been too hard for you to accept such a short man as your partner because he was shorter than even your female friends?

[RachelBrigs]

@heythereambak no. I didn't have a problem with his height.

I'm just saying, that height is a turn off. I have overlooked it tho, and not cared, but usually I do

[heythereambak]

He was shorter than your female friends, isn't it?

[RachelBrigs]

@heythereambak only a couple

[FallOutBoy2001]

@heythereambak let it go, Jesus

[dragonfly6516]

Doesn't take care of himself health-wise, or doesn't even try to be clean or look their best. I don't mean expensive clothes, I mean, brush your damn teeth!
Doesn't try, at all, at anything. Just get's butt-hurt and rage quits when things aren't easy, or won't try new things.
Expects everything to be done for him/handed to him.
Doesn't pull his weight, or do an equal part.
Literally doesn't think for himself. Instead of going and looking it up, he wants to be told all the answers.
Too closed, emotionally. I get that guys aren't emotional, but denying that you feel anything, hell no.
Lying, and general drama. I know some guys who are bigger drama queens than chicks I know.
Basically, I dislike lazy submissive guys, or guys who think it's OK to call themselves "alpha".

[USMC-Crossroads]

That's a pretty big list. And, no offense to the author, but that seems like stuff a really superficial person would care about. For me, I only have one deal-breaker... I'll never date a Liberal Democrat, (which eliminates a lot of other bad qualities right there).

[VSVixen]

Hahahahahahahaha Stattler!

[USMC-Crossroads]

@VSVixen What's a 'Stattler'?

[VSVixen]

Read some contemporary literature. It is a coinage of the names Hitler and Stalin, who most certainly weren't liberal democrats!

[USMC-Crossroads]

@VSVixen Contemporary "literature" is shit. Dan Simmons and Greg Iles are enough, and I don't recall that term in Absolom, Absolom, either. By the way, Hitler and Stalin were a Socialist and a Communist - which are both foundations for the modern-day Democrat. Genius.

[VSVixen]

No they were first and foremost figures of draconian measures, ones very much condoned by rightists with identity issues

[lacorine197]

@VSVixen for christ sakes Chad! Why don't you just use a much more simpler context such as, "combinations?"

[Unit1]

1. Bringing up the topic of getting married and having children.
2. Lack of sex
3. Not wanting to make the relationship to work
4. Lack of privacy
5. Fighting, conflicts and screaming
6. Being a political extremist/religious fanatical and trying to change me
7. Being traditional with gender roles / opposing gender equality
8. Being generally disrespectful or discriminating or violent
9. Incredible stupidity
10. Being not serious about the relationship

www.girlsaskguys.com/.../a30880-10-of-my-instant-relationship-deal-breakers

[djmoore33]

My deal breakers have been:

Too old- Senior citizens
Too young- Teenie boppers that could get me thrown into jail for even glancing at them
Mean and ugly on the inside. by the way this overrules all bad traits except for the one above that could make me have to do time.
NO morbidly obese ( I like thick chicks though.) Love em
Dirty, doesn't take care of personal hygiene. i. e. stinks
Nasty habits like smoking cigarettes (I have allergies) swearing excessively

Most of my deal breakers deal with inner character and personal hygiene and cleanliness
Im not a clean freak but keep yourself up and clean.

[fuqthegovt]

Just make sure they are at least 16 and in 1 of the 10 states where that's legal with no age gap provision. As a rule if they can legally drive they can legally fuck in those states. If you are really worried about it ask for ID, and not right when she's taking her clothes off either (it kills the mood), long before that stage. Even if it's fake your butt is covered, especially if a US passport is used, just ask Tracy Lords.

[Mollyxxx]

Uhm, I honestly can't think of one...

If I fall in love, I fall in love. It will just happen.

I suppose it would be a guy who is caring and reliable to help me with my own anxieties/depression, so in turn I could help him. Someone who wants the entirety of his future with me, and only me. :)

[front2back]

I can see OP's future now...
"My boyfriend must not be too tall but not short, must also not be fat but not skinny either, and he has to have hair but not too little or too much of it, and he can't enjoy video games like 80% of the adult male population either, and he can't be stupid or ugly or sweet or not tan enough or angry or a lover of cats. I don't think my requests are that much yet I can't find a SINGLE good guy. What's wrong with men these days?"

[SoFeckinAddicted]

I low so many awesome guys doe

[SoFeckinAddicted]

Know*

[Maik567]

img-9gag-lol.9cache.com/photo/ae300wj_700b_v3.jpg

All these comments in a nutshell

[Guy83]

Noooooooooo u didn't !

[Ferretman21]

DAYYYYUM!!! SAVAGE!

[PromiseIllBeNice]

hahaha

[Guy83]

@fuqthegovt What are you talking about? That's a stereotype, I'm a black guy and only white women I've dated have been pretty hot. Some guys like bigger women because they say the the sex feels better. Some are attracted to larger women. But as a 43 year old man I'd expect you to have more insight then that ignorant bs you just spouted lol.

[fuqthegovt]

@Guy83 Every stereotype starts as a basis in reality and then just gets exaggerated. I live at the edge of mostly black neighborhoods (Walnut Hills/Avondale in Cincinnati OH) and I'd say I've seen it a few times. Everytime? No. But it happens.

[Guy83]

@fuqthegovt What? Lol. That's false. You don't know your history. Go get an education.

[loulou72]

Omg im a big woman and i think its giving large ladies a bad image putting that up no self respect

[dede_g_10]

Lmao 😂 😂

[Nobodycares]

That had to be a troll, lmao.

[fuqthegovt]

@Nobodycares Not necessarily. It's totally believable to me. Hell I get blamed for trolling sometimes when I'm 100% serious.

[Nobodycares]

@fuqthegovt Well, SJWs tend to call people troll all the time. Just because the word is used doesn't mean they aren't doing it.

She seems like a real troll.

[lacorine197]

@fuqthegovt fuck u

[yellowmamba024]

Bruh I am dead

[moraineisamazing]

Go grab yourself some scissors and some paper and make yourself a boyfriend... Like what the hell

[xviiinfinitum]

someone who can't communicate. communication is key in any relationship.
someone who can't be open minded about difference of opinions, being able to respect that someone has the opposite opinion of you is a huge one.
and most importantly to me, someone who isn't honest.

[Lostsoulman]

What if you are shy or introverted at first?

[xviiinfinitum]

@Lostsoulman no that's fine, that's not what i meant by communicating. but once you're in a full-fledged relationship, you need to communicate the important things even if it's going to be a hard conversation. otherwise it's gonna put a huge strain on the relationship

[Lostsoulman]

Okay Good :)

[Anonymous]

Firstly, she should be respectful of my activities just as I am hers. I'm not going to complain if she enjoys reading for three hours a day, or if she takes awhile to style her hair because she has a passion for cosmetology. It is a big red flag if somebody criticizes what another person likes to do with their free time.

She really just shouldn't have too many cats. I can make an exception for kids if I really like her and we are compatible in every other aspect, but otherwise probably not. Don't reference the "patriarchy" whenever the opportunity presents itself, and don't be too lazy to stay or get in shape and eat healthily.

Nobody who enjoys referring to their partners as "daddy" either. Don't force religious or political views upon me. Too much dependence upon me or those around her is just overbearing, etc.

It's more or less similar to yours and everybody else's.

[falafelany1]

Wow... you have a LOT of deal breakers. He can't even play video games at all? Not everyone is obsessed! Anyway... my main deal breakers is a guy who is unkind to people and/or animals. If he is then I want nothing to do with him. If he can't make me laugh and doesn't think I'm funny then we aren't compatible. If he doesn't respect me and my opinions then see ya. If he pressures me or makes me feel like I can't open up to him then I don't want him.

[confusedgirl239]

-Past or current drug user/alcoholic/addict
-Physically or verbally abusive
-Doesn't want children
-Has a gambling/spending problem (I am frugal)
-Has kids already
-Difference in religion
-Smoker
-Does not care to know or be involved with my family

[heythereambak]

You want children?

[confusedgirl239]

@heythereambak I do :)

[confusedgirl239]

@heythereambak Is that surprising?

[heythereambak]

Yeah somewhat, young girls and guys these days dislike kids

[confusedgirl239]

@heythereambak Well, I've always wanted to be a mother. Do I want kids now? No, I'm 21 and in school. However, once I am married, I'd love to have them.

[heythereambak]

If guy doesn't want kids then that would seriously be a deal breaker to you? If guy doesn't want to pass on his genes because his genes are fucked up then?

[confusedgirl239]

@heythereambak Obviously if I'm with him, I don't think he's messed up or unable to be a father. I think this is about life goals. If I can see an area where we have totally different ideas about how our lives should turn out, that's a problem. If a girl wanted to move across the world away from your friends/family/job and be a street peddler for fish, would that be a dealbreaker? Maybe not or maybe so. If a life path/goal is be different enough, it can be tough to see how the two of you can be together. If being a mother is something I want in my life, and you don't, we aren't compatible.

[heythereambak]

There isn't any physical trait that's a deal breaker to you and that's a thing that you feel makes a man less worthy of being a father or a sexaul partner?

[SoFeckinAddicted]

@heythereambak Can you gtfoh?

[heythereambak]

@asker ok

[confusedgirl239]

@heythereambak Hmm well if he had a genetic disability that he could pass onto his children, like cystic fibrosis, sickle cell anemia, muscular distrophy, etc., then maybe I would not try for biological kids. But I'd certainly adopt with him. If I married him, I obviously believe that he is a good man and can be a father. Parents all do the best they can. No parent will ever be perfect.

[heythereambak]

What about excess body hair, he can pass on that too to his kids