Why did my husband stop spoiling me?

[Anonymous]

I have told him i miss it. I have tried spoiling him to see if he would. I have done all of it and i am out of answers. Why would stop spoiling me? He used to then he just seems like he no longer cares.

[udolipixie]

Why did my husband stop spoiling me?
Probably because in my opinion he's your husband.

I find most guys think that having a relationship title be it 'boyfriend' or 'husband' means they can do jack all or start slacking off. And gals seemingly keep putting in the same/similar amount of effort so guys likely see no reason to stop slacking.

Guys seem to think getting what they want is guaranteed so they no longer have to put in effort. Such as a husband who before did romantic shit either stops or starts slacking not doing as much as he did in the beginning. Yet he still expects the same/similar amount of sex because he thinks being her husband means sex is guaranteed that he doesn't have to put in any or the same effort to be appealing/attractive for her to want sex with him.

[SoldierMane]

I don't know where you got all that from. Probably from your bad experiences. Giving someone something only to get something in return is not love. Giving to only get what you want is far worse still. It's a shame that you think that guys behave this way. I on the other hand, and other men before me, will love a person unconditional and only give gifts because I want to build deep beautiful intimacy with them.

[udolipixie]

@SoldierMane
I got that from studies and observations. None came from my bad experiences as I don't have any bad experiences. Nowhere did I state anything about giving someone something only to get something in return is not love. So it seems like you misread what I typed or you're building a strawman argument. I did state that guys likely slack off because they think being a 'husband'/'boyfriend' means what they want is guaranteed and since gals often put in the same/similar effort guys likely see no reason to stop slacking.

[miamigirl1970]

I think we all go through phases in marriage. If you don't keep it alive every day, things tend to fizzle. Maybe he is now taking you for granted, but maybe you are doing the same. Do the things you first did when it was all new, look back, try new things, it will return if you want it to. Don't force him to do the extra, make him want to do it, Best of Luck

[Anonymous]

be mysterious. let him miss you. let him wonder about you. yes such games. men need to feel that they have to work.
you giving him gifts, he sits there. he doenst have to go out to hung for meat.

make him a little jealous... something along that.

[xBlackxGirlx]

Maybe he just doesn't feel like doing that for you anymore. Probably because he feels like you don't deserve it anymore or that he's done enough.

[SoldierMane]

I don't know what you mean buy spoil? Kiss? Hug? Compliment? Give gifts? Cuddle? I think you could introduce the book "The Five Love Languages" in your marriage. The overall idea is that each person feels different in the way they feel loved. I think your husband thinks he is showing you love in other ways than spoiling you. Also, it could be a sense of pride. Feeling that you are entitled to something is not exactly fare. Maybe he wants to his affection to mean something rather than blind worship. Not saying that is what you are doing, but take some humility and also explain to your husband that doing those things make you feel loved and treasured.

[joeb73]

some times its a financial thing. when we had credit cards i would spoil my wife all the time especially around x-mas. i never cared how much it was but after we gave them up its hard to hide the cost of a present unit giving it to her when she balances the check book every 2 days

[mostwomenshouldstfu]

I'd start with honesty first. Ask him why he has stopped and why he feels this is a good change for him without asking you. He's not being an attentive husband and you aren't being an honest wife in my opinion if he can't sense you are unhappy. Marriage is work yeah, but the rewards should make it worth it.

[RicochetLove]

Most successful long term relationships are between people who would also call their significant other their best friend. Generally, best friends don't spoil each other because they know and are confident in their mutual affection, so spoiling is pointless.

[guyngals]

You "tried" spoiling him after he stopped spoiling you to try to manipulate him into resuming spoiling (not because you wanted him to have the pleasure of being spoileed).

Maybe he's sick of feeling used?

[Asker]

Probably not as I spoiled him more than I already always have. I did it as to not come off as a nag and straight up asking him why he stopped. Thanks for your rude advice.

[mostwomenshouldstfu]

See, that's a stupid game to play. If he felt he had to manipulate her like that to get her in the first place, then he d*** well should be a man and keep to his word. Just logic. He's using marriage as an excuse to let s*** slide. He wants to be lazy. And I reckon you are one of them too.

[FrenchyRomain]

so to you... a man cares because he gives gifts... gold digger?

[Anonymous]

Probably as he feels he doesn't need to.

[StickStickity13]

Probably because you don't deserve it

[Izzex3]

Spoil how?