I suggest that you think of it from her perspective and your own, Instead of from the perspective of a inconvenient and frequently violated social norm.
Do you really want her happy, and do you want to be happy? You were both enjoying the company of others before you were married. There is no reason why that should stop now that your ARE married. This is particularly true when you are apart. you both still would enjoy the pleasure and comfort of someone to have sex with from time to time. So I would encourage her to enjoy herself. I would caution you both to try not to contract any STDs or create any unwanted children while you are philandering, and I think in the interest of your marital intimacy, sharing your experiences with one another when apart, or together, is best. You are in this relationship together and if you are clearly committed to one another, each of you enabling, sharing, and enabling your partners happiness, is in my opinion, the best way to maximize the value of your pair bond to one another. You do not have to join the swingers, to do this. Just give each other permission to say yes if you really want, to and agree to share that experience with your spouse. The sharing is I think quite important, you both need to benefit from re-living your accounts of each others experiences.
Be committed to your partners happiness.,
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if she told you, i think there's no reason to freak out. :) that means she feels bad because of that wich means she won't cheat. So be cool and dont argue... beeing seperated is allways a big problem... girls have "needs" as well ;)
I think that's where it's great when couples are also each other's friends, but your SO is a different kind of friend than say your female friends. Over some drinks with female friends, it's okay to talk about your past sex lives, but that's not something to share with your current SO, your current SO generally does not want to hear detailed stories of your sexual past (like boyfriend #3, he was really great with his tongue, could make me orgasm in 3 minutes flat). Similarly, I can understand why you don't want to hear her giddy tales of how she let someone feel her up. From her perspective, I can also understand why she told you, she hasn't had physical touch (sexual physical touch) in such a long time that when she did get it, she felt really happy and wanted to share her happiness. We want to share our happy news with our SO, that was her "happy news". I don't think it's necessary for you to become the lover who can hear those things, would we ever expect our SOs to become the friends with whom we can share past sexual details with? Most would say that's not required.
Yeah... you lost me as soon as you said you'd just prefer her not to tell you if she cheats on you and to just hide it. Yet you get furious over a man groping her in a club.
Recipe for disaster right there
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My opinion: She's in the military and most likely under a lot of stress. I'd say give her a hall pass and tell her to have as much fun as she possibly can under the circumstances. I'm sure she still loves you, but she's missing what all of us women miss when we aren't getting any. Just be glad that she's honest with you. And if she does slip up and have sex, it's most likely going to just be an accident.
The military and marriage DO NOT go hand in hand. Both parties get lonely, and that's when things start to happen. Saw it first hand when I was stationed at Ft. Benning.
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