Workaholic boyfriend terrified of intimacy, how do I deal?

My boyfriend has a really demanding job and works a lot. I can understand this, but he uses work as an excuse to put distance between us.

Actually, he uses EVERYTHING as an excuse to avoid getting close. He has trouble sharing personal things and prefers to talk about impersonal topics. He doesn't call or text often, and when he does, it's short. And of course we don't spend a lot of time together. When we do, he starts to nitpick and tries to pick little fights.

He may sound awful, but he has a lot of good qualities, and we have a lot in common, so I really care about him and don't just want to dump him.

I have tried working on the relationship by expressing my feelings, and he does listen and try to change some things, but it's obvious that he doesn't really know how. Also, there are some things he feels are a part of his personality and is unwilling to change.

I just don't know if I should continue trying to talk things out with him. I don't think ultimatums are the right way to deal with the situation, and I just feel horrible about the idea of breaking up with him even though I have never been happy in the relationship.

Has anyone dealt with this type of situation before? What did you do? Has anyone been a workaholic or had a crippling fear of intimacy? Were you able to work on things and improve, or is it hopeless?
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+1 y
Well we broke up a year ago but we are still friends so yeah.
Workaholic boyfriend terrified of intimacy, how do I deal?
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