Boyfriend being rude to me and comparing me to another girl?

[Anonymous]

So im in a 3year relationship with him and most of the time its been very difficult between us. Over the past few years he has lied to me more times than I can count, talked to numerous other girls behind my back on a dating site and on fb (I later found out about this through his email account) flirting with them, calling them hot and beautiful and asking if they wanted to meet up with him. When I confronted him he denied everything and got so mad that he threatened to call the police if I didn't leave. I also have reason to believe he physically cheated on me. I broke up with him 4 months ago because of all these things and because he was always so rude to me. At the end I couldnt take it anymore I missed him so much and started texting him again, hoping he would have changed and take me back. At first he was very distant and rude telling me to leave him the hell alone and that he wasn't in love with me anymore. The next day he told me that these where lies and he still loved me and thought about me all the time and that he would change (tears and everything) So I took him back. He has now compared me to another girl in a fight (we where fighting because he falsely accused me of having sex with another guy) when we where broken up he used to hang out with this girl a lot, he also told me she tried to have sex with him and that they shared the same passions and goals and that she was his savior ( she apparantly helped him stop doing drugs, which I've tried a 1000 times without succes) this all made me very jealous. He compared me to her saying "at least I could talk to her, and she would listen to another opinion than her own" Im very hurt by this because I was always there for him, even if no one else was, listened to him and tried to help him every way possible. I dont know what to do anymore, should I stay with him or not? Sorry for the long post!

[Anonymous]

Get out of there, made a mistake thinking he might change. People don't change over 4 months most don't at all it doesn't matter how much you wait. From what you wrote he doesn't want to change, he replaced you and keeps comparing you with that other chick. Remember why you decided to break up in the first place, it wasn't because he came clean in the end or because he stopped being obsessed with being right. He doesn't care about you and that I love you is just a word backed up by... what? Get out its not worth it, none of your tries are worth it.

[Asker]

He eventually did come clean about the talking the other girls part, but only after a lot of pushing from my side, but he suggested (in a very subtle way) that it was all my fault because I was never there for him or listened to him.

[Opinion Owner]

Well that is not good, at all. I say dump him. I mean come on xD he likes being right and honestly who doesn't but at least be a man and take responsibility. Tell him that life is not only about himself and blaming others. I don't know I kind of feel bad for you, just get out fast 😂 and he only confessed about the lies bc you kept insisting otherwise it would have been different, I am very sure.

[Asker]

I will, even though its hard. I think I just have to accept the fact that he will never change or love me in the same way I love him. Thanks so much for answering, you really helped!

[Opinion Owner]

You're welcome. I know it's hard but it is the right thing for you to do. You can't have a future with a person like that, you know it too but you still wondered what if. Now you know for sure.

[h-is-ded]

honestly im not against any of you, but these kind of posts always says that the "writer" is always there for him and does everything to help him, etc. but these just look too good to be true.
again, im not against you at all, im just saying that you should look at yourself from his perspective..

[Asker]

Why would I come here for advice if I was the one doing him wrong? I understand you dont know me but your answer is very hurtful and unnecessary. So in your opinion I must have obviously done something to deserve being treated like that by him? I have looked at myself from his perspective countless times to the point where it drove me crazy. Wondering if maybe it was all my fault. The truth is I literally did everything for him, visiting him almost every day when he was in jail, driving him around everywhere he wanted/needed to go, giving him money.. I was always there for him if he wanted to talk, day or night, listened to his problems and worries, forgiving him every single time even though he treated me like crap most of the time. It is never okay for someone to cheat on or lie to their bf/gf! Even if "supposedly" that person wasn't there for them. It's just a sad excuse!

[h-is-ded]

im genuinely sorry if it was hurtful, i didn't mean it to be. also you didn't say that he was in jail? no prejudice (actually yeah), but jail doesn't do any good with people. so i guess as other already said it's time to leave.
and again terribly sorry about my comment above.

[Asker]

Its okay, I do understand why you would think that as someone who doesn't know the whole story. Thanks for answering!

[PlainOldMe]

Don't stay with him he's an asshole, and you seem really sweet. You deserve a guy that will treat your right, and obviously this guy will never do it, people like him never changes. Or at least they change over an extremely long period of time and you don't need that much time to be wasted.

[kikikat95]

gET OUT if you have been together that long and you're not in a relationship where you're basically growing together and best friends and supporting eachother then get out you're wasting time

[Intraluminal]

Re-read what you wrote. Do it again. What would you tell a friend who told you this. Read it again. Honestly, what would you tell her?

[Chico_brah]

Leave dude. Wtf

[hayyde]

Dump his ass