What does it mean when my boyfriend says I'm too affectionate?

[LemonCake]

Recently, my boyfriend has seemed a bit off with me, I asked him about it and he said I'm too affectionate. He said I always want to kiss and cuddle him and I say I love him too much, and I'm just wondering if this means he doesn't like me anymore. I'm an affectionate person, and I don't want him to think I've lost interest in him. I'm scared he'll think I don't love him anymore if I hold back affection. I don't know what to do

[hisangel]

Some people are really uncomfortable with affection. Some guys can feel like they are being mothered if you cuddle with them too much. Obviously not all but some. Especially if you are doing it in public.

If nothing else has changed I wouldn't worry about it. He may just feel uncomfortable with affection outside of sex.

And he doesn't seem to interpret physical affection as love like you do. If he says you are "too" affectionate, he isn't going to be upset if you cut back on it. He is actually telling you to cut back on it.

I'm a physical affectionate person too so I know it's hard to rein it with someone who doesn't feel comfortable with it all the time. But think of it like if your boyfriend showed affection by spending time with you. And he wanted to spend every waking second with you. Or if he showed love by wanting to talk on the phone and so he called you 5 hours a day. Or anything that just seemed like way too much. It would make you feel uncomfortable.

I would ask him how much affection he feels comfortable with. He isn't going to see it as you not loving him. But I would also let him know that it's important to have some affection. That it's necessary for you.

[LemonCake]

He didn't mind at the start of the relationship, we've only been together for 3 months though. Also he said that sometimes its too hot to cuddle, which I understand. But sometimes he just says he's not in the mood and I feel like I've done something wrong.

[hisangel]

Oh you've done nothing wrong. At the start of any relationship you will do absolutely anything the person wants. "Wait, you want me to stand on my head with an egg in my mouth? Sure!" At the beginning, we all love to give whatever the person wants because you want to show them how much you care. But as the relationship goes on we start to act more like our normal selves. I'm sure if you really look into it there are things you did at the beginning you do less and less of now.

[hisangel]

The man I am with now loves to be affectionate too so he would cuddle in 100 degree heat with no A/C. But that isn't every boyfriend I had. It's just a personality thing. It's all about figure out what the other person loves and doesn't love and finding a balance.

If everything else is pretty much the same, then I think he is just getting to that place where he is being himself.

[DevKen33]

I feel the same with my new boyfriend. I’m super affectionate but he’s made some comments that show he’s not into too much and likes it only sometimes. I’m planning on talking to him about it and seeing what he’s comfortable with. I think that’s the best thing you can do. Communication and understanding is so important to find that balance