Reasons why my boyfriend excludes me from his friends and family?

[Anonymous]

We've been dating for 4 years. He is involved with my friends and family but doesn't involve me with his. We do things together, go to local places and people know we are in a relationship. We have talked about marriage and a future together. I have told him this bothers me but he can't give me any reason why he behaves this way. I asked him if he was cheating and of course he said no, if he wanted to be with someone else he would. He says he does want to be with me. I am so confused with his behavior it makes me feel insecure about everything.

[melissarose8585]

The fact that he's willing to talk about marriage and a future but not let you into his family is unsettling. It's like he's living two different lives, keeping you separate just in case it doesn't work out. I would say he knows he doesn't want you around too long, but if he's talking about marriage...

Have you explained to him that it hurts you, that it feels like he doesn't want to share that part of his life with you? Try and talk to him about it and explain it calmly from your point of view. Tell him that not letting you be part of his family makes you think that he isn't serious about you, that he wants to keep his life separate from you, and that it makes you feel like he thinks you aren't good enough to be around them.

If a good conversation about this between the two of you can't solve this problem then I would definitely think about your relationship. If he is compartmentalizing his life, then something isn't right. And he definitely shouldn't be talking about marriage if he isn't comfortable letting his lover and his family blend together.