My friend and I were discussing last night that all our friends who are in bad relationships tend to be the ones who will post the most often about them on social media pretending to be happy. When behind the scenes, they are miserable and the relationships are falling apart.
The ones who are in good, solid and stable relationships are the ones who rarely post about them at all! It was an observation we made last night, would you tend to agree or disagree with that statement? Feel free to leave your own opinion about it below!
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The less active you are on social media about your relationship, the more secure your relationship is?
I completely agree 100%! People who post their entire life on social media are looking for validation they aren't receiving from within, from family, or friends, and someone who posts their relationship online is searching for validation their SO is not giving them. These people base relationships on shallow things such as looks, money, and status that other people are envious of, so they post it online to try and make people jealous
About 3-4 months ago, one of my friends who posts slutty pictures online for guys to drool all over her started dating someone new. I haven't hung out with her very much, so all I knew about their relationship was what I saw on Facebook where she posted pictures of them making out, driving in his sports car, and with captions about how great he is, and she had bragged to me early on about how he bought her family pizza. Fast forward to about a month ago when I met him for the first time and he is a complete narcissist obsessed with himself and really only with her because she's easy. She was posting things on Snapchat calling him ugly, complaining that he never kisses her until he leaves, and said something rude to him about how he needs to step it up because I mentioned how some guy bought me a really pretty rose. With that false image she posted on Facebook of them being a happy couple, I never would've known how many problems she has with him and how little he actually cares about her. Obviously the pictures they post are trying to convince themselves too and not just other people
I also read somewhere that people who spend a lot of time on social media are more likely to cheat. Well my ex who used a lot of social media cheated and all the cheaters I know use a lot of social media (including the friend I wrote about above). I already see it as a turnoff when a guy spends a bunch of time on social media and his phone, but knowing its correlation to cheating makes me not want to date someone who uses social media very much
I just use Facebook to keep in contact with old co-workers and post pictures of my cat... and my new car because everyone remembers the pile of junk I used to drive around in and we're all happy I finally bought something new and safe. I think it's okay to post pictures of relationships you've been in for a while or if it's a special event. People should limit what pictures they use of their children as well
I think social media is bad in general for any relationship. Romantic or otherwise. There's not much to talk to anyone about when you've already read everything they've done all day. We are no longer in touch personally with others, instead were informed. As for the romantic relationships it could be just the personalities of those who continuously over share on social media that are more likely to have bad relationships. Or it could be that we think thier miserable because we read every little thing they don't like about each other and every tiny little spat. I argue with my husband all the time, but it's none of anyone else's business why and we handle our problems without the "help" of others or demonizing each other publicly.
I guess couples (especially girls) post about them often convince theirselves "I'm happy now". If they really feel happy, they don't need to post because their relationship is stable and they're satisfied each other.
Yeah I agree completely with you! It's almost like they're looking for validation of the relationship by posting on social media which I think is very unhealthy. And a sign there's no communication between the two involved in the relationship.
I have a Facebook account. ... I don't see the point in posting about what we do, where we go, or our datenights or pics of ourselves on Facebook Twitter or anywhere else. cause that's personal and none of their business.
Taking your relationship on social media means you want social validation. This means person boosting their ego, its all about self. While love, is about sharing and caring other. In a very loving relationship, both partners forget about their own egos and what others are thinking about them, instead they completely focus on their partners happiness. So it's very unobviously obvious.
A wise person once said- love & ego, both can't exist simultaneously..
I don't know if there is a correlation. However, if there is, that might not be proof of causation. It may be that whatever behavior that increases social media activity (e. g. narcissim) could be detrimental to relationships. It's all speculation on my end though.
I don't think it's a matter of Facebook affecting the relationship negatively tho. It comes down to insecurity in the relationship. Often times the people who are the most showboaty about their relationship (or other aspects of their life) are incredibly insecure about it and that's why they put so much energy into making it appear so much better than it is. People who are truly secure in their relationship don't feel the need to prove it to the world.
I agree absolutely. My ex used to write on my facebook profile how much he would love me, care for me etc but never said such things in person and hadn't act like this either. It was like he just wanted to show off what a great guy he is towards others. I'm glad that my boyfriend now absolutely isn't into such things and I do only use facebook to stay in contact with some friends, and not to tell the world about my personal life.
Pulling out his phone and changing his relationship status was also the first thing my ex did after I said yes to him. Than he was mad at me that I didn't done it immediately. -.- Like thats the only thing to care about.
Being active on social media does not necessarily mean that your relationship is insecure or won't last. However, if you feel a lot of stress around social media and your relationship, or feel that nothing in your relationship is significant unless it has been documented online, then that's definitely a sign of problems.
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Anonymous
(30-35)
+1 y
I deleted my FB account years ago. It is virtually spyware! I also deleted ALL my social media accounts. Twitter, Skype etc.
All I use is KIK for chatting to my family and GAG for "entertainment"!
I cannot say I blame you if you do. One of the sidelines in my research is to clean up some of these spying websites. Starting with GAG itself, as it uses quite a few trackers itself, like Google analytics and others.
I never had Twitter or Skype, and only have 60 friends on facebook, i use it more to memes, get news (like a news database) and to talk to some friends, rarely i do a like or put a picture. with kik i have a bad image since all weirdos and pedo ask for "kik", Gag i only use for fun
About spying, they spy everything don´t matter what site you go, even your smartphone or email
@Idontknow012 KIK is no worse than Whatsapp. Both are end to end encrypted message apps. That is what is a small part of my research. To stop these things spying.
At the risk of being premature in your analysis I’m just wondering if you think stopping this kind of spying can be done legally or will it have to be done entirely with software?
I actually don't know. I only know one couple who post an insane amount on social media, but I don't know if they are actually happy or not. At least they genuinely seem to be.
I think I have posted two things about our relationship on social media. It seems a lot, because most people I know don't post at all. 😄 There's nothing wrong with our relationship, though.
But your conclusions definitely sound like they could be true. Especially with younger couples.
1
0 Reply
Anonymous
(45 Plus)
+1 y
I disagree. I don't think that there is a correlation between how often one publicly proclaims anything and how well that thing is going particularly because people tend to react in one of two ways when things are going poorly: They hide them or they save face. In turn the actual nature of which is more socially promoted may be different and I am certain that it also has to do with personality.
That's completely fine. It was just a common thing my friend and I noticed about our friend's relationships. Everyone will have a different opinion on it. Thanks for sharing yours!
I know people who have facebook accounts and they dont post about their relationship if they do it is only to wish their partner happy birthday or happy anniversary and they are in happy lasting relationships
In a way, yeah. Though, I wouldn't necessarily limit it to couples only. Even a single person may actually be better off without social media if they notice they spend a good portion of their time and life on it- which is something I started doing, and has been really good for me. I don't think people really need to be promoting their supposed sense of welfare to others if they feel that way. It can come naturally, but we tend to see if doesn't always head in that direction.
in my opinion social media don't play a role in any relationship indirectly, there are success with both situations, we can get haters even in a restaurant or a wedding. Usually insecure relationship go away with or without media
'Other people can't ruin what they don't know about'. Make your relationship lowkey and watch no bad energy, no envy and no ill intentions come your way.
people post their stuff on social media then get paranoid when people give their opinions on it! Then don't fuckin put it out there dumbass! It says comment for a reason.
Its fairly easy to see why, troubled relationships no doubt are troubled due to a lack of communication. No one has the balls anymore to talk one on one, openly and honestly. Online, with strangers? No freaking problem!
Yeah, I totally agree. I know cause the happiest couples I know rarely post on social media and yeah whenever they post it doesn't involve stupid PDA pics or staged pics
You don’t need to show everything on social media about your relationship just the ones you two are okay with. They could be nice moments like a picnic for example. 😊
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