Do you think it’s better to keep your happiness to yourself?

Question

In today’s world we seem to be engaged in hidden competition,

who’s happier,

who’s more successful,

who’s sexier and so on and on…

I already stopped being active on Social Media, because I didn’t want my friends there to feel any less luckier and happier than me. I haven’t posted any good news about myself for a long time.

I don’t want anybody to feel compare their lives to mine and feel sad about theirs, even though I am not very happy or something, I am just content with where I am.

I think it’s better to do the same on GaG too.

People have their worries, pain, sadness and unhappiness and the constant reminder of your happiness or success or so on, will only make them feel a bit sad and lost and won’t make you feel any happier.

Probably, it’s truly better to keep happiness to ourselves.

That being said, I am sorry if any of my posts have caused anyone any sadness. I can understand how some of them caused unease in some of the readers.

Every person has their own struggles in life, no one is any luckier than another.

I hope you’ll all have an amazing day.

wolfcat87 · Accepted Answer

I use social media to keep friends and family across the world updated with pictures and videos. That includes sharing my happiest moments.

If people are comparing, then they are eating away at their selves in an unhealthy way, but that's not my responsibility. That's their own insecurity they need to work on.

I've been poor, and seeing others do better was motivation and inspiration. I never held it against them. I just thought, what's my next step to get there my own way?

Also, sharing happiness and success eventually weeds out bad people in your life. They will start using people like an ATM, being entitled, insulting, jealous, etc. It helps keep only the people who actually care around.

I had one female friend that would get jealous, and she showed that in different ways before she just internally stepped up and competed. Now, she and her husband are business owners, he's a minor senator, and she's much happier and not competing. I'm proud of her. She didn't ruin our friendship or let my success keep her miserable by playing a victim.

Another friend of over 30 years did though. She had every opportunity I did and chose to not take them every time. I even told her she and her kids could live with us for free and have a free babysitter if she ever needed to, but she didn't want to. She started smoking weed, picked the worst men, lost her kids, never built up anything, etc. Then, she constantly wanted loans from me. At first I gave her the loans. But, the last two times she never paid me back. I didn't push it at all, but my husband and I decided we would not be loaning any more money. Helping our friends was putting us in debt and dragging us down with them.

Then, she starts asking for money to pay her bills, asking me to co-sign for a car she wants when she has no steady job, asking for more and more and getting angry and resentful when we said no. It's not our job to pay for her life when she won't do what she needs to do to help herself. She got depressed and still didn't do better. Again, not my problem or responsibility. She came to me for emotional support, and I offered it in my own way. She decided that since I didn't say what she wanted to hear she would get angry and resentful some more. Hilariously, she got mad and decided to ignore me. I barely noticed she was missing, because I was busy with my own life. Then, she got mad and confronted me about it a year later.

I told her I didn't see why it was an issue that I told her what I would do in her situation and responded as myself instead of with some script she expected me to psychically read from her mind. Then, she spent the next year picking fights over dumb things. How dumb I am for not believing the earth is flat level dumb. I told her that's easy to prove, just fly in a straight line.

Finally, the real issues came out after years of her getting angrier and angrier over nothing. She started a small business, and made a gross of 50k in a year, the most she'd ever made. I would have been happy for her and proud. Buuuut, she had other plans. She decides to pick another fight.

She was pregnant and I messaged to see how she and the baby were doing when it was past due and there'd been no update. She got soooo catty. She said, "I only give updates to people who care" twice essentially. As I'm messaging to check on her... I tried to brush it off and say, "was worried, glad everyone's good." She said "what, did you think my baby is retarded or something?". Weird. I was regretting even caring and said "don't whine about people not caring if you behave like this when they show they care". She said, "Keep your care, it doesn't need it". I said "great, don't ask my husband and I for help anymore." Her response, "Oh the one who hurt you? Naw karma is taking care of those who deserve it…tbh I’m quite lovely…. great relationship, happy children, land owner, business owner… and very happy. But thank you for hating me so much to wish ill…. It’s people like you that let me know I’m doing great cuz I got haters"

Ahh, I see. So, the very first good year she has in many all the vitriol and resentment she had directed at me came out. She was not a friend.

Here was my response:

"Been all that for years. Lol. How easily you forget recent history. How ugly you are at the top defines how hard you fall. Happy things are good for now. But, I don't forget so easily. Neither does karma. Also, no one hates you. You were always the hater staying focus in my inbox and drama with my husband and your sister behind my back. You're the passive aggressive one in my messages. Lol. You have not contributed a single thing to my life in years. You were just a taker. I'm over a person who back stabs when she doesn't need something. Then, plays victim and expects help that she doesn't return when things get bad. Thank you for making it clear that you were never anything to me. I appreciate it. It means I don't ever have to be there for you again. Hmm. You freed me from an anchor. I'm not losing anything that brought any light to my life.

Also, what would I be hating on? Last I heard you were struggling with a baby the dad didn’t want. You thought I was jealous of that? Like I know anything else going on in your secret life that you just started recently? That's just delusional, honey. I'm guessing you're just projecting since those words left your mouth. Didn't know you had an inferiority complex all these years. You have property? I have multiple. You have a husband? I have multiple. You have a business? I have multiple. My children have been happy. I've spent years making more sitting at home than you ever will. You've gone to your own head in a very short amount of time. You don't have anything I want, never have. That's why you've always come to me asking for things and not the other way around... But, keep pretending... I can guarantee that a few months of doing well has nothing on over a decade of doing well. What's your net worth again? Income when just sitting at home doing nothing? I thought so. Silly goose."

Her:

"Insensitive af. I’m not even reading all that bill shyt tbh. You’re evil and have always been. Since you care o so much…. I’m not with that man nor did I keep his child. Enjoy your life Kyrie. You’ve officially proven this is the perfect time to no longer associate with you. I wish your children happiness."

Me:

"More true colors. Every time I helped you was evil. Good to know. Glad you straightened that out. Offering you a home was evil. Loaning you money was evil. Got it. Byyyeee. Miss me with your psycho b. s. lol. No one will miss you.

And you got rid of a kid but I'm evil. Funny"

My happiness had clearly been eating her alive, and she'd been hiding that as long as she thought she could still use me. They can dish it, but they can't take it. They can take help and support but don't give it. Nah, I don't feel bad for any adult. They made their beds and can lie in it. I'll save my pity for the kids and animals they hurt. Did she pay me back the money she owed when she got money? Nope. She's not even the only person to use us as an ATM and then stab us in the back or so not even show they care in return. We don't help any other adults financially anymore. Reciprocity is the new name of the game. Advice only if they aren't giving back. I'm certainly not going to edit my behavior to suit people who won't edit their own to help their selves.

Dinklex3 · Accepted Answer

No, lol. Share the happiness.

I get excited seeing my friends adventures on social media. Gets me all hyped to see them having fun living their best life. They feel the same. The only people that have access to my social media are actual friends and family so there’s no negative feelings or comparisons. We all want what’s best for each other.

love_conquers_lust · Accepted Answer

I don’t think ‘keep happiness to ourselves’ is the right phrase. It’s an unintended consequence. When one is truly happy, they won’t seek affirmation from others, because they’ll be living it.

A number of people on GaG are lonely, I’m one of them. You aren’t alone. It’s not wrong to seek advice or human contact through whatever means available when life doesn’t have any answers you seek. I get the same vibe from you when you speak of missing friends and family in Georgia while living in China without a spouse.

When you find it, I imagine you won’t be here. The time spent here can be good for advice. But lamenting the same questions over and over takes time away from living.

We’re doing exactly what this site wants. They want people asking questions and answering to provide content. They sell reader’s attention to advertisers. Because people focus on the negative, the more controversial, the better. Toxicity. Feelings are going to be hurt.

I think anyone’s goal on here should be to give the best advice possible to get askers off this site as quickly as possible.

mobiusforniner · Accepted Answer

@lafemmefatale_1 I notice as I am happier, people begin to hate me more. I have something they don’t. I make decisions they won’t. I have control of my life and they can’t

For you to pull back from truly expressing yourself and achieving the best version of you, would be catering to THEIR wish, as if they somehow still exercise control over your being. That’s not happiness

I’ve done as you have, too. As if I must be ashamed for being happy. For being ME. I realize it’s them, not me. For someone to be angry at your happiness shows a contemptible lack of self respect. They aren’t happy so you cannot be happy. Therefore they’ll ALWAYS bring you down

never underestimate your own anger. Stand true to yourself. Be consistent. Be kind. You’ll rise to a level of unfuckwithability and they’ll have nothing to do but give you their begrudging respect

onwards and upwards, ma’am.

Meropatrick · Answer

I went to a trip for medical treatment and i posted pics on social media. All my friends were jealous and spiteful that i am going to those nice places in that country even though they all knew i was there for a horrible health conditon and going to those nice places was just a way to rewind between medical sessions. I was thinking really... Jealous? U want that trip? Take it all then. Take the pain and illness along with the beautiful trip. I didn't get to cherry pick so why would u. People are really sick in the heart. I dont hide my happiness but i just keep toxic people out. And i choose who i share my life and space with

DeeDeeDeVour · Answer

It's been a while since I actually posted (shared) anything personal on Instagram or Facebook because I primarily use those platforms for promoting things of business nature.

However, I'm always tagged by friends who take photos and post 'em.

There are no dull moments in the photos taken; always happily exuberant & vibrant.

There were times that made the skins of several former friends crawl because they were overwhelmed with envy at every sight of every photo showing me happily engaging with others.

Joshydavid25 · Answer

Nah, I think sharing happiness is much more different than damn near bragging about the things that happen in your life. Which is basically what social media is all about, and even then.. Half of them are just fakely showing off..

Happy Belated Birthday by the way..

TonyMetal___86 · Answer

The majority of your questions and mytakes are negative and shows pain and sadness filling your life and how much you're struggling to overcome them to make yourself happy out of nothing, don't know how you came to the conclusion where people felt that you're happier or having a better life than them 🤔

Anyways, you make too much wrong assumptions, than you keep talking about yourself and than saying sorry to others if you have made them sad, you're a complicated girl but still i know that deep inside of you there is a good loving heart but you're confused and lost and ain't able to think clearly and makes a lot of hesitations, i hope that you find peace and comfort at the end of the road...

Amuere · Answer

I find that it's not so much sharing your happiness itself that's the issue, but who you share it with.

Modern society seems to be in the habit of over sharing their personal lives with a bunch of people would couldn't be bothered to give a damn about them as a person, your ups and downs, regardless of how serious or trivial, become little more than a spectacle for some viewers to click on during their lunch break.

in my opinion, share your happiness and your heart, but keep it with friends and family for the most part.

NathanDavis · Answer

nope... not at all

I give my happiness to the people in my life, to those who know me and care me... and they give me theirs

but, I've never used social media and as for G@G, I've never been competing with people, lol... and I do like it when they're happy or they have going something good and great going for themselves... I feel good about it too... sharing is caring

Andres77 · Answer

Depends on who is in your circle. Some people are just jealous haters and will try to tear you down out of spite while pretending to be your friend.
its a good indicator of the quality of your “friends” if they’re really happy for you or bring drama to your life.

play it by ear and adjust your social circle accordingly

DJB72 · Answer

If your happy news pushes people down then find better people to share with

IslaTheWitch · Answer

For me I feel happy when I share, so it would be extremely hard to reach happiness if I couldn't share things which make me happy: Words and stories My time, to listen and support My skills to help

Siri137 · Answer

"... no one is any luckier than another" You could not be more wrong.

SotiCoto · Answer

Oh absolutely. I don't want to see anyone being happy.

HouseMoat · Answer

I think it's ok to show people you're happy. I question why they'd do it but, I think it's perfectly natural to

Likes2drive · Answer

I guess don’t show off but I think it’s fine to be in a good mood

Hungryghostwriter · Answer

Into the wild guy's last words were happiness is better shared

Heolurt · Answer

Happiness always comes right before something bad happens.

Still-alive · Answer

Share it with people that love you.

sheikalana · Answer

Yes, keep ir private.

BobbieBoy666 · Answer

I'm apposed to be happy.

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