Is it normal for my boyfriend to put his friends before me?

[exhaustedfromlife]

Updates

+1 y

Thank you to 97% of guys/boys on here that said it's okay for a girlfriend to be treated like an option and yes, I'm being sarcastic. I truly thank the ones that have common sense and not make rude statements and actually believe there should be a level of balance. Make fun of me and call me names all you want to.

[Waltago]

At your age? Yes!

When you're done with your education and start living independently, then it's probably not that normal, but 15 is way too early to start thinking about marriage. Adolescence is where children start to develop their social skills and care more about what their piers think. Once you get into your early 20s you will likely start reevaluating your beliefs and ideals and the mid-20s is when you really start experiencing all of the mental disorders your parents gave you. Anyway, my point is that you two are going to change a lot even within the next couple of years and you have so much time, possible more than a decade, to start thinking about commitment.

[exhaustedfromlife]

You okay?

[MrOracle]

No, but it's also not normal or healthy to completely abandon them just because he got a girlfriend. There should be a balance, though that means that you aren't always going to come first.

You both need to have REALISTIC expectations, and you need to communicate with each other and compromise, and if you or he can't or won't, then you need to break up.

You can't change other people - only they can change themselves.

[BrittBratt2416]

If it's all the time and he wants to hang with his friends more than you, then that boy don't want to be in a relationship. He just wants to be free and do things on his own time with his friends, which is normal cause you're 15. Trust me, at 15 nobody dates seriously so I would honestly just let the boy go and just focus on yourself and school. You have plenty of time to date guys, right now dating is kinda pointless at this age.

[Anonymous]

No... Except you're 15 and boys your age definitely choose their friends above you cause it's not really considered a serious relationship yet. you're too young for a relationship anyways, you should be enjoying your life, not being tied down to some boy.

[DevikaButts95]

Sorta. He shouldn't put them before you, but he should have a balance with you and with them.

[TheUglyMonk]

It´s almost always more fun to hang out with the boys than it is to hang out with your girlfriend but you should be always welcome to join them. As long as he isn´t ditching you for them it´s no problem but simply tell him you want to hang out more.

[JackofSpades]

No. Nothing ruins male bonding more than one of the guys bringing his girlfriend along.

[Cheetah23]

@JackofSpades That's incorrect for some. Im treated as one of the guys, always have been. My boyfriend prior to us dating was even kinda jealous of how well i got along with guys

[JackofSpades]

@Cheetah23 No your not it, may feel like it but your not one of the guys.
Yes we can definitely hangout and we can be great friends.
But all men whether they know it or not behave differently and censor themselves around women.

[Cheetah23]

@JackofSpades you haven't met a good chick best friend mate. My friends dont act any different even if they're male. I understand your inability to imagine that there are few chicks who can talk about and game with just about anything the stereotyped guys like, but it's true. Im more boyish than girlish.

[TheUglyMonk]

@JackofSpades I beg to differ. Everyone brings their girlfriends and we all chill.

[exhaustedfromlife]

Guys, don't try talking sense into him, he's old fashioned and seems like the type of guy thats doesn't want his girlfriend around because he knows she'll get more attention. If that makes sense.

[TheUglyMonk]

Not necessarily, he might´ve had a few mates bring their girlfriends and they were annoying as shit so he´d like to avoid a situation like that from happening again.

[Cheetah23]

True. Case of stereotyping from bad experiences.

[ScottandPeanut]

Every guy is different, just as we're all raised different beliefs., myself I was raised the women comes first, she's your better/other half and that is where your priorities should be

[eddy11090]

No, because you should be put before his friends and if he doesn't want to do that, then he doesn't deserve to have you and your love

[Steffen]

All coupples have a need for closeness and distance, and what you need compared to him is almost never the same. You need to talk, and agree on something you can both live with where you don't starve, and he doesn’t suffocate

[Josht13]

at 15, hell yes, I still do it now tbh I haven't been in a really serious relationship and I doubt yours is so would value my friends over that because it will definitely end.

[exhaustedfromlife]

Thanks for the positive response. I can see why you haven't been in a really serious relationship, it's the way you act.

[Josht13]

ouch, please at 18 a really serious relationship is the last thing I want settling down sounds like a death sentence and I'll stay going out with my friends doesn't mean I don't want to hang out with my girlfriend couple times a week

[exhaustedfromlife]

You could of said that instead and I wouldn't have said what I said.

[SnapTsch]

There needs to be a balance, but considering the ages of both of you, it wouldn't be surprising if he put video games before you.

[exhaustedfromlife]

He doesn't play video games that much surprisingly but you just gave me an idea when brought video games.

[SnapTsch]

The video games part was just as an example to state that anything could be put before you since 15 year olds aren't expected and mostly don't have the maturity to deal with relationships but are raging with hormones, which is probably on of the worst cocktails

[exhaustedfromlife]

I know but it gave me an idea.

[SnapTsch]

Whatever floats your boat 😊

[achiles94]

If he sees you more often than them and decides not to ditch his plans with them for you, then yes. And you'd be an ass to ask him to do otherwise.

[exhaustedfromlife]

Well I hardly see him outside of school, so that says a lot doesn't it?

[achiles94]

Oh damn... didn't notice your age...
Sorry, but with teenagers it can be everything.

[exhaustedfromlife]

Sure you didn't.

[JackofSpades]

Men need to be with other men.
If you make him chose between you or them, he will resent you for it.
Try to give him some space because he needs both.

[exhaustedfromlife]

I hardly hang out with him outside of school because he's too busy with work or doing chores.

[AzzaCr1]

Yes and you should accept that. His friends were there before you and you have to work to become his number 1.

[exhaustedfromlife]

I've tried and I completely abandoned all hope.

[Duke1985]

Yes. Ever heard of the expression "bro's before hoes"? It's really important. Works for girls aswell.

[exhaustedfromlife]

Well I'm not a hoe, so? I don't put my boyfriend before my friends either, I treat them equally.

[Duke1985]

I'm not trying to imply you're a hoe. It's just how the expression goes. It rhymes.

[Duke1985]

I read through all of this. And you keep saying that he's putting you last in his life. Well, if you would really think that (and you don't) then why are you guys even together? You just say this, because it motivates people more easily to say things like " noooo, he doesn't put you last!" Or like "how dare he puts you last? You're his gf!"
What you do is called being jealous. And at the same time you're trying to be manipulative, and just some naive natures are falling for it. Just too young to really know how to play this game of manipilation. Some people just have it in them, others have to learn it. You have to learn it. But i advise you not to do this, because it's a hard game, tough to master, and only the masters win.

[Duke1985]

I suggest you learn (and you're in the perfect age for that) to judge your own actions before you judge other people's actions. Because for young girls (and this counts also for boys of course) there is one rule that pretty much always applies to everything you think, say or do. "It might feel right, but most probably i'm wrong!" So for example, you're wrong about your boyfriend putting you last. And you're wrong about seeking acceptance online, to make people tell you being jealous and wanting to be put first would be alright.
This is not me trying to demolishing you. This is my trying to tell you that honesty, respect and layality are more important than your distorted view of how a relationship should be. Your boyfriend is -maybe- trying his best to balance his relationships, and it's no easy tast, and it's not getting easier in the future. Good luck, and best wishes

[exhaustedfromlife]

First of all, I'm not manipulative and I'm not looking for acceptance online, so I don't know where you got that from and that had nothing to do with my question but you don't know what I'm thinking unless you have daughters of your own and we're together still because we talk it out. I'm not just saying this because people say what they have to say about my question an if you think I'm being manipulative then I want evidence.

[Duke1985]

Just do ot. If i'm wrong, it won't harm you, right?

[exhaustedfromlife]

It might.

[SBurpinstein]

Yes it is normal because friends don't let him down when they find a new hunk.

[exhaustedfromlife]

Thanks for the motivational answer.

[Dinnye001]

Yes. Friends will be there for him when you are long gone.

Don't try to fight friends. You will lose.

[exhaustedfromlife]

I'm not.

[TheAmazingAmerican]

I wouldn't think anything of it if I were you. It just mean he loves hanging out with buddy's. Would you rather him be lonely with no friends

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

No, your boyfriend shouldn't put his friends before you.

[lilmissumshine]

What do you mean? like give details about what happened.. thanks boo

[exhaustedfromlife]

I mean he puts his friends needs before mine for example if he doesn't have work I usually ride home with him and if he has to take his cousin home, which is fine, she rides home with him and then his so called friend rides home with him when he can just get on the bus and yes, this has happened before and he just told me to go talk to him instead. Almost every guy on here says the behavior I just told you is completely okay, they say it's acceptable for my boyfriend to put me as a last option, which is I'll ever be in life, and even some of the girls have said it. It hurts knowing that it's okay for me, as a girlfriend, to be put last regardless of how hard I try to become his priority but it's life and as a girlfriend, you can't have a happy life as a priority only as an option.

[lilmissumshine]

I'm confused what did he do wrong? it sounds like he's helping out everyone friends, family, and u. bc u said he gives u, his cousin, and friends ride home. so I don't get what he's doing wrong?

[exhaustedfromlife]

His truck only fits three people and sometimes when his friend, who can ride the bus as well, rides home with him, I can't ride home with him sometimes especially if him, his cousin and his friend is in the truck.

[lilmissumshine]

So what happens to you? like are u left stranded or?

[exhaustedfromlife]

I ride the bus home, he doesn't want me to be stranded or walking home.

[lilmissumshine]

Talk to him about it.

[Dxk007]

Well, it depends. You can't expect him to give up on them for you.

[exhaustedfromlife]

I don't expect him to give up on his friends.

[Dxk007]

Well, friends are precious. He may have you now but, friends are there from the start.

[cupidkisses]

It is normal. For some people, their friends come first.

[Ozinveyl]

Nope. Except on Saturday. Saturdays are for the boys.

[exhaustedfromlife]

Well on Saturdays we try to hang out with each other if he's not called into work or extremely busy.

[poeticpages]

You should all be of equal importance in his life.

[woooooooo]

maybe he knew friends before he did you and know them a little bit better.

[AwesomeAlakix]

I don't know but don't worry you"ll be fine. Just talk to him

[amel23]

Wtf nooooo
U r his girlfriend

[hellacray]

At his age I'd say yes.

[stuntbrain]

You're only 15, so yes

[stuntbrain]

The updated post makes me feel the need to clarify my response. At a young age it's normal for guys, as well as girls to prioritize the friends they have over a new bf/gf.

[Kat_puppies]

ya if it is constant tell him

[disasterdrills]

yes and he should girls come and go

[exhaustedfromlife]

So it's okay for me to be a last option?

[Duke1985]

The last? You said you came after his friends. Not after everything else

[exhaustedfromlife]

You stay out of our conversation.

[disasterdrills]

not last but he's got to live a little everyone needs there space

[Duke1985]

Take a screenshot of what i wrote to you (the long text) and print it out. Then put it in a drawer and read it once every 3 years.

[exhaustedfromlife]

We rarely get to spend time together.

[SarahsSummer]

At your age yes.

[SarahsSummer]

It may be normal but it’s def not right. You need to let him know you aren’t going to sit around and wait for him to be done with his friends.

[madkash]

Normal at 15

[DanOh2017]

It is at 15

[GrayWhi2]

No it's not.

[neveradavid]

Not really...

[Craigdon]

Yes all men should

[exhaustedfromlife]

It's okay for all guys to throw their girlfriends/wives last? No wonder I'm in such a loving, healthy relationship.

[Trumpenfuhrer]

Bros before hoes.

[exhaustedfromlife]

I didn't know I was a hoe.

[Trumpenfuhrer]

Now you know.

[exhaustedfromlife]

Whats your evidence I'm a hoe? Because I haven't slept with any guys.

[Trumpenfuhrer]

Oh. Well I just assumed cause most women these days are hoes.

Protect your purity and modesty is all I can say

[exhaustedfromlife]

And I can assume that you're a man whore because most guys are man whores. Don't make assumptions because of someone else's actions and because you got with a hoe and got cheated on.

[Trumpenfuhrer]

Okay.

[lilmissumshine]

Smh she's only 15.. that was rude of u

[exhaustedfromlife]

@lilmissumshine people are rude regardless of how old they are.

[lilmissumshine]

I've noticed 😑

[MexcanBeanDip101]

Yes...