What do you think about your partner having an opposite sex best friend? (Page 2)

Question

While it's great when you're single it's a problem when you're in a relationship, so Does a long term opposite sex friendship pose à threat to your relationship with your significant other? Do you get insecure and jealous and set boundaries between them or you just try to act cool?

Lava_ · Answer

I don't have a problem with it if they were friends before we met. I would only grow concerned if this female friend is hostile towards me and my partner is oblivious to it. Then we will need to sit down and have a little chat.
But as a wise man once said (this goes for both men and women in relationships) "Put yourself in a position were you will never be questioned"

Prince83 · Answer

You can have a friendship without developing personal trust. Personal trust includes chatting about each others personal lives, going out to places, eating together, horse playing etc... if you can keep those things of the books, then i dont see what the problem should be man.

hahahmm · Answer

Would only bother me if:
A. They spend more time with the guy then me
B. The guy is flirting (but that’s on her too)
C. The guy is in any way talking negative about me.
D. She met him after she met me. That’d be a big hmmmmmm.

Usually when a couple gets married they drop/blow off all their single friends. I think it’s silly tho.

pretty854 · Answer

I usually don’t mind but (this is a current situation) my boyfriend has a girl best friend and their relationship is EXACTLY like me and him were before we were dating. I don’t know ANYTHING about this girl. All I know is there is a girl who he considers his best fiend. Therefore I am not okay with it due to this issue. If I knew more about her I wouldn’t mind at all

Miristheiss · Answer

Short term I don't care, long term that needs to change. If we get really serious no more daily long talks and going out for lunch/dinner with this other guy. If she tries to stay really "close" with him after we've been dating a long time and start talking about a long term future than I'd bail. No need for the extra stress in my life. Too many other women out there I'd not be in that situation with. I wouldn't settle.

uchihaone · Answer

Well i have never needed a friend.. And the thought of my partner having a best friend kind of ticks me off.. Its like i survived my life needing no one and when my supposed partner has a bestfriend it make me wonder why i need no one but you and you need me + your friends or bestfriend.. We are eventually gonna live alone together.. But i surely won't say anything about it cause its a part of her private life.. Who she wants to have in her life is her choice not mine

Sakalombow · Answer

Girl can be friends with guys , but guys can't be friends with girls, women sexuality is mental, men sexuality is phisical, we definitely are awesomely different.

Finchie40 · Answer

Not a big fan of it if your partner feels uncomfortable about it then your partner is your priority so end the friendship if it is bothering your partner

Snuffy · Answer

I can see the reason people find it hard. It depends on the person, though. Plus you can trust your partner but not the one they spend time with.

People can definetely have opposite sex friends and not be into anything more though and if you trust your partner it should be okay.

Anonymous · Answer

I have a lot of guy friends, so I'd be a hypocrite to say my boyfriend couldn't have female friends. Sure, my guy friends are perverts but they're never pervs to me. We're all teenagers and love crude sex-based humor, and I teach them about girls and help them find dates, it's purely platonic and it's honestly really fun. Any guy I date would have to get along with the guys, otherwise I know it would never be a long-term thing

NatePsychologyMajor · Answer

This to be is like a catch 22. 1. They could be just friends neither one has any feeling for the other. She could help him understand that he is messing up in his relationship, and help guild he. 2. He may have feeling for her or she have feeling for him, but neither wants to take the chance and mess up their friendship by getting in a relationship.

SmalHoomanBeen · Answer

My best friend in the whole world is a dude and my boyfriend don’t give a damn, I love my boyfriend very very much and even if he did have a problem with my best friend being a guy he would have to get over it, a relationship is about trust, if you can’t even trust your partner to have friends then why are you dating them

Dragon6901 · Answer

For me my spouse or girlfriend WILL BE my best friend which will make any others inappropriate and seek one who feels similarly. To do otherwise in my opinion would be dangerous in terms of splitting behavior. I couldn't trust one who felt otherwise because I would see the potential for manipulation even if not present. It isn't a sense of jealousy in my opinion that makes me feel this way but the simple presence of common sense in my defensive postulating.

lildusky · Answer

I mean, I’ve gotta say, if you’re open with your s/o about how YOU feel, they should respect that. Maybe not agree, but respect it. Personally I’m fine with my boyfriend hanging out with girls, but he’s also very respectful, and knows boundaries. I trust him completely. That’s also just me

Simonitro · Answer

I don't think that matters as long that it is contained and understand there are some restrictions.

You don't want to go overboard with it. Friendship is nice having both genders as long as they remain friends... you don't want to cross too many boundaries and have a disastrous consequence.

As long that there are no jealousy involved and everyone is mature about it, it works.

jdoutworld · Answer

I’d assume if she was my girlfriend then I trust her. If I trust her then that must mean she’s not an idiot and knows appropriate boundaries and not to cross them. If she decides that her best friend is a dude then that’s her decision and I’m fine with it. I do not want a girlfriend I can’t trust.

savalisk · Answer

Its fine. You need friends of the opposite sex.
There was a time in my life when the number of lady friends I had completely outnumbered my male friends but a huge margin.
I understand the concern, however, you have to be able to trust your partner. Trust is the key word.

Adam_INTJ · Answer

I might feel a little threatened, but given time to build more trust, I think I can get over it. But if she has a problem with me having female friends, then she doesn't have to worry, because won't be in a relationship with me anymore. A girl that won't trust me is not a girl that I can respect or love.

Jollyrancher07 · Answer

It depends on if they were friends before his relationship with me or did they just meet. Is he seeing her behind my back? Do I get along with her? And how much time do they spend together? Also I think one of them would have feelings for the other. So I wouldn't be comfortable with it

GracefulCharm · Answer

Lol literally just had a discussion about this with my friend the other day.

If you don't like your partner having friends of the opposite gender, there are severe trust issues in your relationship. That's a bigger problem that the one we are talking about.

Jihhan · Answer

No and no, this is super simple. You trust in your partner and if he or she fails you then you drop them and find a new one, he or she wasn't worth your time from the beginning. If he or she is faithful then stay true to them cuz that's worth a lot these days.

kunalmehta005 · Answer

It's cool that she has a best friend who's a guy... But the point is both the guys and girls should trust each other the most... If they trust each other than there's nothing to worry about... I will give my partner full freedom to make friends coz I'd trust her... 😊😊

quietman4875 · Answer

When I was younger I was really insecure and get jealous easy. I guess I've mellowed out with age I just don't have the time or energy to waste on getting all worked up and jealous, I don't care who she's friends with I know she chose to be with me if she wanted to be with someone else she would be.

lemowill · Answer

My wife and I both had members of the opposite sex stand in our individual Bridal and Groom parties... With bestmaid and bridesman also. So yea, i'd say its only a problem if you want to create/cause problems. Men and women are much more similar than different and we were made to interact... However just like everything else in life, if we wanna pervert normal, then so shall it be. Law of attraction.

SDegler · Answer

I dated a woman who had a guy best friend and she was either in denial or she was blind to his affections. We didn't date for long because he wasn't the nicest person but I've never been in a relationship with someone who has a different sex best friend.

LickitySplit67 · Answer

I have heard this recently. I looked at the guy like he was crazy. "What do you mean you don't have any female friends?" For some reason someone is trying to get it into young men's heads that they can't be friends with the opposite sex. Well, tell you what... I'll just go lesbian because MOST of my friends are female.

crustybandmemes · Answer

I love this idea in theory but it's never worked out for me so far. It's always gotten complicated and weird because one of us liked the other. Don't get me wrong, I have guy friends, but they are not my best friends for a reason

McKellar · Answer

I have experienced this, & for me,... the end results are not great. I was once involved with this one girl which I was in a relationship with for 5 months. She told me about this 1 guy who is her good, close friend & nothing would happen between her & I. 5 months later,... guess what happens?

She cheated on me with that same guy, broke up with me, dated him & now they are married. Yep, typical kick right in the balls.

Bear41 · Answer

As long as you trust him 100% but remember guys have a typical body size and shape they will date. For example mine was Petite, slim, average, and Voluptuous on the average side. Once I stuck someone in friend zone they were my sister. I never looked at them any different that that. It was a shame. I dated perfect strangers over anyone in my friend zone category. Breast size has never been really important. Butt nope note either.

Ziya536 · Answer

I have a guy best friend. My ex and I used to fight about it a lot. Then as time went by he accepted it. The guy best friend I have is like a brother to me. He helped me on my worst days. I mean if I need my car towed at 4am he will be there. Nothing sexual ever happened with us. If it’s a true true friend then it’s ok. But if it’s an ex that you keep as a friend that a NO.

DarkKiki · Answer

In my opinion it really doesn't make a difference. My bf's two closest friends are one male, one female. My three closest friends are two males and one female. If you are insecure about it, then talk about it, but no one should leave close friends because their partner is insecure without any reason to actually be that way. I think it's more the partner who is insecure's problem, that may need to be addressed.

Gedaria · Answer

On the surface it should not have any problems. I have a lot of female friends but i keep it within the area of how you treat your sister. If you get to familiar in the relationship this is where flirtations start and the sexes and attractions begin seeing your friend as someone desireable. This into todays world could happen to same sex friends.. So its a matter of not crossing the line between friend and lover..

Philyouup · Answer

I have had a Woman as my best friend for over 30 years.. She is one of the best people I know, and I have never had sex with her. Our spouses knew that we were Best friends and that it was what it was and dealt with it.. If they have had an issue, we probably would not have gotten get married. We have 30 years of fidelity with out spouses and still have a great friendship with each other.. She might as well be my sister.

natgal · Answer

Why should I be worried? If I trust my girlfriend why should it worry if her friend is in love with her or not? Thats his problem not mine or hers. I have several close female friends and I think of them as sisters. I am not worried no matter how drunk I am that I would makeout or have sex with any of them. I am not 14 any more. Being jealous is a problem that you have with your self, or that you truly dont trust your partner.

drshan · Answer

Well this is too close for comfort. Both myself and my partner have opposite sex best friends. Yeah there is some level of jealousy!! But we trust each other and have faith in our relationship.
Thought I am currently struggling with the fact that my best friend and I have gotten incredibly close recently.

themajod · Answer

Well, not to toot my own horn, but I am pretty good at understanding hidden context in words. When witnessing them talking, if the friend (or my partner herself) is being flirty (whether secretly or obviously), then I'd interfere. Not break them up completely of course, just try to distance them a little. Otherwise, all is good.

monkeynutts · Answer

Yes, it could be difficult particularly when your experiencing problems because you can't be 100%sure that your partners not bagging you out to them behind your back, plus if I thought that such and such platonic friend was a duece bag, and he gave me any shit. It might not take too long before punches start flying in his general direction.

abradolf_lincler · Answer

If they deserve your trust then you need to get over it, if they don't then maybe there's a problem. If my best friends boyfriend wasn't happy about me hanging out with her, I'll tell him to go fuck himself, I'd expect the same back if the shoe were on the other foot. No one owns someone else so we don't choose who they hang out with

saim32 · Answer

No they can't be just friends for long time because one of them will try to change the status from friendship to love... so the result would either be breakup or they would fall in love... as it happened to me personally and it ended up as a breakup ...

fauna642 · Answer

I haven't spent time around the greatest guys. Literally every guy I've seen cheat (only one of which cheated on me, two cheated with me, and I was a bystander with the others) has pulled the "just a friend"

Zumba_dancing_27 · Answer

Men can still have friends even though they are married as long as they aren't doing naughty things with them, and just do friend type things like lunch date or talk on the phone, or non-sexual type hanging out.

Retief · Answer

A person can not (if he/she has a problem with their partners opposite sex friend) expect their partner to end the friendship, that would be the same as to expect the person to end a friendship with one of their friends regardless of gender.
Best Friends don't have sexual desires toward each other.
If one of them do then they are more than friends. So if you know that they are just friends rather try to act cool.

jamespetro34 · Answer

I've personally just had bad s. o. s they cheated on me and walked all over me till I got a backbone. So in my opinion I belive as long as they are friends and nothing more then hey go for it, but once you start doubting your relationship and get the grass is greener syndrome.

Grl2live_nlearn4u · Answer

I dont really date , just like movies and stuff, but there are boys I like and it would bug me if they would be hanging out with other girls so if they have a best friend thats another girl I wouldn't like it.

AllThatJazz21 · Answer

I think it is perfectly fine if they have a friend of the opposite sex. People will socialize with who they want to socialize with. You can't control every aspect of a person's life, let alone who they are friends with.

aconfusedgirlie · Answer

I don’t have an issue with it. Friendship is friendship and I think it is wrong to tell your boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife whoever that they cannot have a friend simply because they’re the opposite gender. It’s a pretty controlling thing to do.

joshctlee · Answer

If you’re Significant other has a best friend of the opposite sex it’s best not let your jealousy take control because woman do not like controlling boyfriends and will intoxicate the relationship. That’s the thing with woman. Woman will do whatever they want and if the man disagrees, then the man is wrong for disagreeing and is the bad one. You can’t control your woman. You have to accept it or move on.

colin77 · Answer

it all depends on... if they were true friends befor u were in th picture it shouldn't be a problem longs your partner are respecting u and be true to u...
if they met after wen u all were together then it cud hav a problem there so u hav to know ur partner to know what je or she cud do

LiamKH · Answer

I've honestly learnt to love the idea of an open relationship, so if my partner had an opposite sex friend, I wouldn't mind except for a few situations.

whatever1716 · Answer

My partner can't have any friends at all she hasn't proven to me I can trust her, matter if fact, I won't have a partner I a week I'm planning a secret escape from the gaslighting she's putting me through

nethichendar · Answer

I mean I’d understand because I have a lot of male friends myself (but i have never thought of them in a romantic light and they have never thought of me like that either) doesn’t mean I’d like it very much if my partner had opposite gender friends but i would deal with it (makes me a slight hypocrite I know). But when I wouldn’t deal with it would be when the female friend was an ex/previous crush/if the friend seemed to be interested in him

DarkManX · Answer

If we try to put our feet in other people shoes, we will see that in their life there's two tunnels and everybody chose his own path, we must not be angry for this, since everybody decide what to do with his life.

phatmcpat · Answer

If the trust is there, then it shouldn't be an issue. That being said, I've lost several girlfriends this way too, to their best friend's... I'm split here. I think it's possible, given the highest quality partners and high levels of trust.

kata007 · Answer

I am a friend of one with opposite sex, and his girlfriend doesn't care about it, because she knows that I need to talk with him about something I can't talk about with girls. And he does tell her what we are talking about when they are together, and that's fine with me too. It's difficult for me to talk with girls sometimes.

blackgaletiger · Answer

Dont think much of it especially if they have known each other for a long time/ before the relationship

j3ss1ca · Answer

Pretty much all of my friends are guys - hell I live with 5 guys 😂 I don't see the issue of having close friends of the opposite sex

gavacho2014 · Answer

You allow this you have to #1 trust your partner. #2 have confidence in yourself and your relationship. If you don't have any of these things, your relationship is doomed.

jessica4532 · Answer

Fine by me. It's not my business who are his friends, because a relationship should be based on trust

beansiie · Answer

shouldn't be a question. if you're in a serious relationship with someone then you shouldn't care what gender their best friend is. mutual and unwavering trust.

mjsbiggestfan1997 · Answer

If you trust your partner, them having friends of the opposite gender shouldn't be an issue, but if it is an issue for you, you might be insecure. Controlling who your partner is friends with won't end well.

What do you think about your partner having an opposite sex best friend? (Page 2)

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