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a lot of people will tell you ofcourse i trust my partner , but do you trust the person who is with your partner? And even if they are just friends people of the opposite sex will always along the way feel a type of attraction one of them will. For example i had best friends for over 7 years and i sometimes wondered what it would be like dating them and sometimes wondered if i would date them one day its just how humans are and people who tell you they are just friends and none of them will feel anything towards each other are lying one of them will and then people wonder why their partner cheated and their partner say it's a mistake it meant nothing well you're the one who threw him in his hands in the first place. In my opinion if it's a work buddy that they have casual talk together idc but if they are close friends and they have each other's numbers and text then nah
See been through this. Im against it because there's no such thing as platonic to a womans man and his female best friend. Somewhere, even if she's a testified proven virgin or lesbian or whatever, you two had unbelievable beyond descriptive sex. Women can be platonic. Problem is us men think haa my kingdom, im Mufasa that's my lioness ain't bout to be none of that Scar shit. I'm not flying off the cliff. We make up machismo defending whats ours. When the guy is probably so gay he failed elementary school for calling his female teachers Mr.
Real question is. What do you think about being in a relationship with a girl who thinks it's a problem if you have an opposite sex best friend. I would rather be single than deal with that sort of immaturity and insecurity.
I would say you have deep psychological and trust issues and end the relationship if you couldn't get over it because I could never achieve the level of intimacy, trust and communication with someone who'd have issues with me having friends (regardless of gender... you could fuck guys up the ass too... so you might as well stay single if you believe "it's great when you're single, problem when you're dating."
I for one didn't have a problem with any of my girlfriends having male friends, sure there was times I started to get jealous cause they focused more on them when we was in a group but I'd tell myself they was friends before we was a couple. As long as she didn't limit me on my female friends we was okay
Gaskins' quote is aimed at preventing hurting the best friend in question.
This is... Rather illogical, as this person should be aware of the fact that their BEST FRIEND is in a committed relationship. Touching that at all would be a dick move on their part.
If you're married or in a committed relationship, you shouldn't have to worry about whether or not your SO has a best friend of the opposite sex. Expecting your SO to cheat on you is distrustful and disingenuous. Attempting to prevent the theoretical friend from being rejected is pointless, because they should know that you're married/committed. They won't touch that if their your best friend. Friends don't fuck up things that make you happy.
Play with fire all you want. Make friends. Don't let anyone but yourself tell you who you can be friends with.
So im in this exact situation at this moment, I just started dating a girl about a month and a half ago and she's basically telling me that i need to stop seeing my best friend so much or we can't make it work. I've been best friends with this girl since childhood, we were like siblings as we never had any ourselves, we were together most days after school and every spare day of the summer holidays. We still meetup a lot and im now being made to choose her or the girl im dating. I can't loose my friend but this has happened before with the only other girl I've dated and i chose my best friend which im glad i did but this can't keep happening. Any advice?
Girls come and go. If your girl isn't secure in the fact that you have a "girl" friend and you choose your partner, its the beginning of the end of how much your partner will try to control you. First its your favorite TV shows, going to the mall instead of watching the big game... Your best "guy" friends, maybe even drive a wedge between you and your family next. Stick with your friend but hang out together so your partner won't feel so insecure. I guarantee you your friendship will last longer than your relationship will.
In my opinion, having a best friend or really close friend of the opposite sex isn’t appropriate when you are swing someone you are interested in having a serious relationship with. It causes too many problems (speaking from experience). Feelings most likely will be caught at some point and feelings will be hurt (also from experience).
Being friends no matter the gender of the friend is cool. although a lot of girls have friends with benefits along the way and remain friends with them and keeping those doors open during a relationship gives them a fall back. I dident care it dident bother me about her having guy friend but once I found out she slept with a guy friend yes that bothers me because they aren't just friends after they have had sex they are more. in that case its wrong to remain friends and let me tell you a guy can since when a girl has had sex with a guy friend theirs little un hide able traits that can be picked out so you can't hide that fact. if your just friend he should be able to tell and he should not be bothered by a friend.
My boyfriend has multiple girl best friends who I love to death and I have multiple guy best friends who he loves as well. It’s good to be able to have trust in a relationship as well as allow your partner freedom. Unless he gets too touchy and weird with them I’m okay with it. It’s also normal to feel jealous. I tend to but he does to. It’s a thing but our relationship is super alive and healthy
I do have male friends and almost all of them were my friends before I met my husband. They always had my back and still have. We went through a lot together. Breakups, moves health issues etc. I would never drop them for a guy. Especially not my best friend. He is like the brother I never had. My husband doesn't have an issue with it and if he had one when we first started seeing each other we wouldn't be married. You should be able to trust your partner and your friends.
Why would you not be married if he had had an opposite sex best friend? Did you get together by him talking about things that he would have talked to about with an opposite sex friend?
That's fine by me, as long as you don't end up kissing them or having sex with them!
Hell if that was me I would also advocate for having best friends of the opposite sex while in a relationship or married state!
^Simply put, let your SO have their 'me' time! It can actually be a sign for a healthy relationship!
No, I said if he had an issue with my male friends I would have not dated him.
Me time is absolutely important to me and I think everyone should be able to have that. It would be horrible a nd boring if not
Who am I to tell my girlfriend who she can and can't hang out with? Even if I distrust her or she has a record of cheating, it's not my place to tell her who her friends should be.
If she has sex with her straight male friends, then yeah, you better believe I'll break up with her.
My ex as of yesterday Im sad yet relieved to say had a bestfriend that was a male. She would talk about him sometimes nothing that made me feel insecure or jealous but it did make me wonder if there was not something that she was keeping secret. She recently compared me to him in a argument we were going through and so I just exited the premises and went for a long drive. She has never brougt up his name again. But she has other methods of really getting under my skin. He lives thousands of miles away. I think that it would be very different for me personally if he lived in our same city. Just because. Im certain that if I mentioned one female friend name in casual conversation that she would immediately feel some sort of way and look at me with suspicion. But do my feelers come into consideration when she talked about him. Yeah right.
I think emist said it best. I am in this situation right now and it's hard because I feel like there is such a closeness between two best friends. Yes, I know, I'm insecure but I can't stand the thought of him having that closeness with some other woman. I think a couple should be each other best friends.
Well I date my best friend because I think that they should be your best friend. Otherwise your dating the wrong person.
I understand that you can have other less close friends of the opposite gender. But Id prefer to spend more time with my SO and have them do likewise.
*you're
Solid
I agree
No. I have enough trust in my partner to know they aren't cheating. People have a life outside of you weather you're dating or not. "it's a problem when you're in a relationship" what kind of insecure controlling bullshit?
People have friends and different friends fill different needs.
It's kind of tricky. As much as we try to trust each other, my boyfriend thinks there are guys who try too much to become my best friends. Turned out, a few did have a crush on me and would even try to flirt knowing that I was already in a relationship... :O
Depends how much time they spend together. If it is like a group of friends with boys and girls, then I am cool with it. If it is specifically ONE girl that my boyfriend would be friends with, then I get jealous, and do not want him to do any one-on-one things with her.
I have a ex boyfriend who I feel is my only family now. My husband hates it but try’s to respect it because he trust me. I don’t love my ex the way I love my husband. my ex boyfriend and I were best friends for a long time and couldn’t separate because a stupid relationship didn’t work. Everyone puts me down about this. Telling me it’s wrong. I don’t think it’s wrong as long as we are not doing anything wrong. We love each other always will be my family.
Well if you are not also her best friend, keep looking because you should be both to one and other.
Or if you are new age enough go and seek out a "platonic" best friend of the opposite sex to hang out with and do everything fun with and keep your significant other for sex and bill sharing.
See how that works out for ya. Please don't say I hit a nerve! Jebediah Springfield honestly?
If you can't look past a person's genitals, you need to grow up.
This person is your best friend for life here and they're still going to have very real emotionsFor others and make mistakes. They should absolutely be capable of taking to you about it before anything ever happens. There shouldn't be secrets between you two.
Open up the discussion consequence free and you'll likely learn something. Draw the lines and demand strict obedience, you'll likely get hurt with reality.
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