What do you think about your partner having an opposite sex best friend? (Page 3)

[ANONdudeSEA]

The age old question. Familiarity and constancy create comfort and often lead to feelings that might not have been there before. If every time you break up with someone you turn to your best friend who is also of your preferred orientation, and they do the same, the eventuality can easily be "This is the person I should be with, they are always there for me." I've only ever dated people who are jealous for some reason and any friend I've had of the opposite sex has been a major issue. I personally don't care if a girl has guy friends. I think you should avoid making a member of your preferred orientation your best friend who you talk to about everything and spend all your time with cause that can lead to a mistake here or jealousy there. My real advice? If your best friend is someone you might date, date them. Best friends as a couple are the best. Don't worry about ruining the friendship. Yes it's a risk but if things work it's the best situation ever.

[FriendlyDrugDealer]

Here is the thing, I don’t have a problem with that because it’s not weird or anything but I do believe in being honest if there was any history between them but it’s not a big deal.

I have more female friends then guy friends. I have two best guy friends who are like brothers to me and I have 5 female friends who are like sisters to me, so I can’t be a hypocrite

[LionBill]

My best friend is female. Although we joke about it sometimes. There is no chance that we would have sex.

If you're worried that your girlfriend is cheating on you with her male friends, then you are probably the one that should be watched. Because you still see everyone as an option, despite being in a relationship with them.

And Vise versa

[Jamesguy1985]

By that logic, once in a committed relationship, should never have friends again, period. Who's to say that that same sex person isn't harboring feelings either? The idea of filtering friends based on gender is an antiquated notion, imho, and should be abolished

[ISFP_Gal]

Just depends on the girl an my relationship. In the past I've had boyfriends living with a female an trusted him completely an then I've dated guys an didn't like them being around the girl-friend. Its all about how they interact with each other you can tell right away ig its platonic or not ot if there hidden motive. And the way you meet or discover the friend is crucial as well like were you introduced or was this friend hidden an you stumbled upon their friendship. Each situation is different. Or if say you have history of mistrust your trying to repair then guys gotta understand he is on probation for a bit to heal the relationship.

[CallMeMissT]

I act cool with it but it does make me feel uncomfortable. My boyfriend has a close girl friend and I would never expect him to stop speaking to her. While I trust him not to do anything, it just makes me uncomfortable because I think the only difference is that they don’t have the physical closeness but they must have some form of connection to be close friends, right? Lol

[molonski2]

Reality is it never works , particularly female to male , she goes to this guy every time you have a fight saying what a pig you are , unless he is gay or sometime , one moment he is massaging her , hugging her , its a natural progression , the next moment its regretted , hot , blatant sex.

Never works , unless the guy is gay.

[DonyaleLuna]

I agree

[SeattleMexican]

I think it is totally okay if you guys can trust each other. All my friends are girls that doesn't bother my girlfriend at all but as long as my girlfriend's able to hang out with her and me or just them to once in awhile without me yes but if he's hiding her from you or if she doesn't like you then hell no

[alypoo]

I think its okay for my partner to have a bestfriend in the opposite sex. I will trust him no matter what. This takes a good sense of trust and i give my trust to someone whom im ready to be vulnerable with. Im sure i will be able to sense if something is not right. If i have the chance maybe the bestfriend and i could be best pals too! If she finds me okay, i think my boyfriend and i will definitely last

[suicid3]

While I agree with not plauing with fire there's more to consider. Have they ever been intimate? Do they talk flirtatious? Or is this a football type buddy that you couldn't picture anything goes other that playful punches to the gut and Go Team! statements. One must weigh out the structure of their friendship and the solidity of your relationship. Most importantly, could this person become your friend as well? Third wheels aren't great but most of my good relationships were introduced as a friend of couples I knew. Misery loves company, but happiness attracts happiness as well. Cheers

[k4libra]

I trust everyone to behave according to his or her character when I meet someone I study and try to understand who I'm dealing with then in the future as long as they act according to who they portrayed the stuff to be to begin with we're good if I know her to be a w**** I expect you to be a w**** and then I can't be upset when she's a hore it takes all types in this world we have to learn to live with them as they learn to live with I have learned to get to know her before we start a serious relationships

[LovelyThinker]

This question would only apply to straight people so rather than thinking in hetero normative way think if you were bisexual would you be ok with your partner not allowing you to have any friends, if the answer is no then be ok with in your heterosexual relationship your boyfriend having a girl best friend

[jmupton]

My best friend is a girl, we share a lot and I'm with others here, I'm as honest as I can be and that tends to keep things good.

The bottom line is though, if my girlfriend were the I've to make an ultimatum, Is choose my best friend, purely on the basis that I know they themselves wouldn't ever ask me to choose.

[DrSteiner]

That Tony guy is either an idiot or dont know what friendship is. My female friends will know me a lot longer than my possible future wife.
A woman that wants me to abandon my friends doesn't show charakter. In the opposite who am i to forbid her friends?

[MermaidMotel]

I wouldn't care. I believe it's a scum bag move to try to control who your lover can talk to, get to know, etc. I wouldn't date someone I didn't trust. If my hypothetical boyfriend started to act suspicious with these new female friends and I felt that he was cheating... I would just end the relationship..

[millymoo0001]

I agree with this. And often when a girl kicks up a stink about her boyfriend having a girl friend the guy gets sick of it. It only makes you look bad as a girlfriend when you act jealous and insecure.

[hahahmm]

Mostly agree except when a guy she knows is trying to get in her pants wants to be ‘friends’. That is bs. I can find thirsty hot women to be ‘friends’ with too...

[nightdrot]

Honestly, it would not bother me. My girlfriend and I love and trust each other and I want her to be happy. If she has a best friend that adds to her happiness, that can't be anything but good for me. It is not a zero sum game - and if a friendship makes my girlfriend happy, then I am happy too.

[Hector7314]

Well from experience of others with this dilemma, in fact I dated a gal who owned a Harley and has dozens of male friends. I will say this, she's having a very difficult time finding a man who rides and is intelligent and responsible as she, ain't out there. I lived in Sedona AZ for many years with my now ex wide,. I noticed very hot gals hanging out with two men, well both gay. I think some women like to hang with men that are gay, have the safety and relationship you can't have with a mate. I don't see that gal anymore sinnce I'm not the biker type, a shame really we had so much more in common. Oh she was married and think her husband was very jealous of her friends lead to divorce after he probably asked her not to hang with them. I would never be jealous of something like that, she knows these guys her whole life. Well not a good idea if he's a jealous man guess is the take here..

[Depressive]

I think you should trust your partner and not infringe on their autonomy. You can't tell them who they're allowed to be friends with.
But on the other side I wouldn't necessarily trust the friend. If they have a best friend who could be sexually attracted to them, I'd say try to be a friend to them. If they're friendly and you get to know them better that's good for everyone, and if they're not willing to be your friend, then I'd be suspicious. Still can't change who my partner is friends with (and wouldn't if I could) but I'd probably talk to them about it just to reassure myself

[dominika_2017]

I hate it. My ex's best friend was a girl and although they werent hanging out all the time, they texted frequently and when they were together, it seemd that he chose her over me. If i have to be in a competition for my boyfriend's attention, then the other chick can have him. She posed a threat to me and our relationship and i still believe he cheated at some point because of the way they acted when they were together. I don't trust it

[Lukey_Pie_669]

I'm not one to get jealous. I have plenty of best friends who are the opposite sex and I'm sure mind does too.

It's not a problem if you've known each other for too long and consider each other like bro like sis.

Now jealousy, smh, I don't feel it. Your life your rules, same applies to me.