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My boyfriend wants a DNA test if I ever get pregnant? (Page 3)
Anonymous
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Every third child is not of the father, who raised him. It is scientifically proven that women are more prone to fraud and affairs when they are Ovulating. Honestly I think the same thing as him. The only difference is that I never said to the girl's feelings than the test made a secret that no one knows
Like the emotionally stable women and men below said... he has clear trust issues. The fact that he wants a dna shows that a part of him believes you could cheat on him, otherwise there is no reason to ask for a dna test. That is disrespectful as hell to you, don't accept or put up with that. I always say this - Be with a man that loves, values and respects you, if not then ditch him. Whatever issues he's had with other girls has nothing do with your relationship and should be left out of it.
Yeah, its not the fact that 1 in 10 men raise kids that aren't their blood thinking they are their kids, its " trust issues"... Smh.
This is why some guys can't take women serioisly.. always emotional, never using logic.
Listen sweety, there are two types of men in this world: the dumb emotional ones, and the smart logical ones.
If you are lucky enough to get with type 2, no amount of emotion, love and all that will sway his logic.
In this day and age, every intelligent man would get a paternity test.
@lord_chilled Loved that you used ''sweety'' to be condecending, nice touch ;) If you're a man who's secure with himself and trust your woman there is no need for a test. It's insulting. It would be understandable if the woman in question has cheated before on you but otherwise, hell to the no. Any woman who knows her worth and has respect for herself would dump that that little man.
Well, i try not to but when you are so one sided and ignorant , i can't help but bring out my bad side as well
Can you , like get personal feeling and emotions out of this, just for the sake of this discussion?
Think of this as simple math.
Plenty of men who are secure in themselves and trust their women, are cuckolded.
I saw some people here say one in 3 and some stuff, and i have seen all rates from that (1 in 3) to 3% (3 in 100) depending on the place, culture, economy etc.
Im gonna take a fair average of 1/10 in general.
1/10 of those men who are secure in themselves amd trust their woman are CUCKOLDED.
do you understand what that means?
Do you understand just how f'in serious this is?
(you are a woman, so you will NEVER endure this, but you can try and imagine) , a guy raising someone believing that person to be his child up until adulthood, and even beyond that thinking thats HIS child.
That is the worst thing a woman can do to a man.
There is nothing that comes close. Nothing.
Murder, rape , none of it even comes remotely near it.
And this sh*t happens to a lot of men.
The guys who you deem as "little men" never deal with this? Why? Because they dont trust women. They f*ck you , dump you and run away. Or they just tell you straightup. Back in the day, when there were no optioms, these were the men who never, EVER committed. So its not them getting f*cked over. Its the guys that trust their women who are getting f*cked over
@lord_chilled I'm not ignorant. I do understand your point, who wants to raise a child that's not their own and a proof of someones disloyalty. I get that. But it the woman has done nothing to question that trust and been really loyal, that would sting. It's really insulting and means he has doubt about your values and character as a person to think that you ever would.
So why, why would any reasonable woman be so pissed about a man not wanting such a horrible thing happen to him?
Is that too much to ask for?
Are your feelings really more important than a man's life?
Is that it?
Jesus christ women!
Its just a damn paternity test.
If you have nothing to hide, take it and show us you are trustworthy.
That would shut us all up!
But until you do, and as long as you keep complaining about this, all this does is show which gender is really the lying, untrustable one
A lot of women that had done nothing bad before also have cheated on their men and gotten pregnant.
Whats the big problem with some insurance?
So you understand how important this is, so why not put your feelings on the side for a moment?
@lord_chilled ''Its just a damn paternity test'', it's not the test itself. It's the fact that he thinks that you would cheat that is disrespectful and insulting to the woman. Cheating is low as hell and that fact that he think you would is disgusting. Good luck finding a self respecting woman that would accept that crap. So I'll say it again to the asker. Dump him and be with a real man who isn't a paranoid person with deep issues that he needs to work through.
He doesn't think that. I wouldn't think that.
But f*ck, sometimes shit happens.
sometines rape happens.
And sometimes, women dont tell. A man has the right to know.
So yeah asker, dump a reasonable guy and be with a "real man" who believes you. A real stupid one
@lord_chilled I truly feel sorry for you that you think you're being a ''real man'' by being a paranoid disrepectful psycho. A real man trust his woman when she's done nothing to prove otherwise. That's a real man for you. Glad to see there are real men in this ask with stable minds.
To think that it's an acceptable and normal thing to ask a woman who has been nothing but good to you for a test... you guys honestly need help. And that's not something I'm saying as an insult. I truly mean, seek help for your trust issues with women who have done NOTHING.
You're delusional if you don't think you have trust issues based on nothing going on in your relationship to make you truly doubt it. This is a red flag, like one said further down, men who have big trust issues will get worse with time. Get out now.
Will you just stop with shaming?, its useless and is getting ridiculous.
No disrespect to the real "real men" out there, but the "real men" that you refer to on this post are a bunch of whiteknights. And just so you know, i can see trough the fear in some of them.
Some of these guys are actually scared but dont admit it to themselves. At least the rest of us acknowledge it.
Here is the deal, patarnity fear is NOT paranoia. Its not being a psycho, its a very real DANGER to men. And just because you have been good in general doesn't exempt you from being capable of doing it.
I have known a lot of good, sweet women, who did just this to their husbands.
its scary sometimes. You can never know.
We have the right to protect ourselves, and we dont need your bs.
I dont need your pity. My intelligence and knowledge all day everyday. F your feelings
@lord_chilled It's paranoia and you're honestly insane,
Try that on your boyfriend sweety, your fine little manipulation and shaming has no effect on me.
There is nothing unreasonable in what i said. Its all perfectly reasonable and logical.
Not my fault that you happen to rely ENTIRELY on ypur emotional thinking and dont use logic
@lord_chilled You're funny truly, having a laugh with my friends about this now. I'm not getting insulted one bit. You're as crazy as her boyfriend.
Well im glad you find me funny.
You can't can't grasp the problem even tough i presented it in a quite simple manner.
So, just keep laughing.
I hope you guys at least realize what a bunch of hypocrites you are.
You know, how you complain about every little thing that even remotely falls under "womens issues"
And that you eould go on crusades about it.
But you got a mens issue. Actually, a very important one , much more important than any of these "womens" issues we see currently.
And all of a sudden all sense of equality is gone. Naah, its all about you. Your "feewings" can't be hurt.
Poor you.
Should we also go to all those guys who became suspects of the #metoo movement and ask them about their "feelings?"
I would argue that a lot of those guys are pretty upset about it.
"how dare you accuse me of rape?"
How dare they accuse me of rape? - said every rapist ever.
So lets cater to their needs and put their feelings first and the likelyhood of them being rapists and any confirmation
Methods as secondary.
Because, you know, just because a few men are rapists, doesn't mean all are. And we shouldn't hurt all of their feelings by making use of this new procedure that will prove them guilty or not. Lets just give ALL of them the benefit of the doubt.
Sarcams, in the reverse version of our current discussion.
@lord_chilled You don't grasp the simple concept of respecting someone as a human being. I don't have energy for this, it's probably something that is engraved in you so there is no point in discussing why this is so morally wrong, you wouldn't understand it.
As someone stated below
''Asking for a DNA test is the ultimate level of disrespect and distrust ''
It would be over if he were my boyfriend saying shit like that. He doesn't trust you. y'all are planning a life together. When you get pregnant it would probably be because y'all both decided to try. The only way I'd understand this is if you've cheated before or some good reason for him to ruin the day yalls child is born. It doesn't sound like he has good reason.
If I had an boyfriend and if my boyfriend wanted an DNA test I’d say yes, when I have an baby when I’m older, ( I don’t mean now ), to make sure it’s his, I wouldn’t dump him, if he was mature and respectful and maybe because some women say that there baby isn’t there’s and use it against the guy, DNA test proofs if the baby is his or not, yes it can be hurtful, he may have trust issues.
I understand why you feel upset. I think it's reasonable that he want's to know if his future kid is his though. There is some data showing that like a quarter or so of children are not their supposed fathers. I don't blame the guy for wanting to know since cheating in that situation is actually fairly common. It could even be why women "evolved" wanting to cheat in general. Lots of animals do this. It's not unique to humans.
Honestly a marriage and any type of union between us and strangers should be strictly for business reasons. If I get married I don't expect him to trust me completely because I won't trust him, I watch snapped all the time and I've had bad luck with men all my life.
Give him the damn DNA and just don't take another human being so seriously. I want one too when my kids are born to make sure they were never switched, because I'm not raising anybody's demons when I can raise my own.
To be honest, I feel conflicted about it.
Like RationalMale said, I 100% agree... YET, I see where you are coming from.
Honestly, I wouldn't ask that ever from my girlfriend (if I had one, not right now) but on the other hand, how can I be sure that it's mine.
I think some trust issues or something in his past is haunting him making him doubt things all the time. For example, he never had an amazing friendship with people he can trust blindly in. Or he is just like that.
I can see, understand and respect both sides of the argument and I personally think that the solution to this is something you can both agree and feel okay with.
I would be hurt, and I would end the relationship.
His attitude shows a few things:
-that he has trust issues
-that he is jaded
-that he is bitter
Its not just unromantic, it's hurtful and sets a low standard of expectations.
Just my two cents. I have two friends that were in process of separating from their wives when they became pregnant. The guys had to support another mans child for several years until it was allowed by a judge to be proven that the child wasn't theirs.
Other than that, I am sure there are men out there that would trust and love you better than what you have.
He is stupid, he should have just done the test secretly
Also why does he suspect you might sleep with other men?
Is it irrational insecurity, or have you showed signs of promiscuity in the past?
Are you already pregnant?
I wouldn't t ruin the relationship after something so silly
Just get the test, and let him know he is the dad.
But what if he continues to act paranoid and mistrustful in other situations? Not every problem can be resolved with a DNA test. This is a major relationship issue.
@samhradh_leannan Why is he acting paranoid? people aren't insecure for no reason. To accuse a woman of lying about carrying your child is a big deal
I don't think he would ask unless she has made him feel insecure previously.
Then they clearly have issues to address.
And I agree, people aren’t insecure for no reason. But that reason may have absolutely nothing to do with this individual woman. It could be stories he’s hearing about other couples, or something that happened to him in the past. Yes, there may be a good reason for how he feels. But if he doesn’t trust, her it’s not automatically her fault- and it’s definitely still an issue.
Yes that's going overboard. He has major trust issues. That would make me reconsider the relationship. I'd be pissed and upset. Thinking does he think I'm a hoe. I'd probably break up with him even.
What if the baby doesn't look like him- DNA test proves that he's the father- would he accept the test results or deny his child only because it doesn't look like him?
Would he still demand dna testing if y'all were married?
If I were you I'd really think about all of that.
Said it before - hospitals make mistakes.
Unless he followed up the request with "Because I think you're a cheating ho" Then you should unbunch your panties.
And god forbid the hospital did have a mix up, it'd be the best 70 bucks you've ever spent.
All men should get DNA tests on children. Once you sign on a birth certificate, you could be supporting another man's child for life and have to live with that injustice.
Id really like to know which 4 b*tches disliked this comment.
All this comment stated was facts and there was nothing offensive. Nothing offensive , nothing sexist.
Some females on gag are pure scum
@lord_chilled when you look at the laws governing paternity, it's silly not to have a kid tested just to be sure. In some states, even verbally acknowledging a child as yours can get you 18 years of financial purgatory.
I don't get why this is such a huge thing, to cause a break up over something silly like this after 3 YEARS?
Unless he's never shown trust issues before I wouldn't worry about this too much, unless its a thing you've been dealing with for a while.
3 years is a long time, if you really love him you guys will figure it out by communicating :)
If he doesn't respect you, then yeah...
Your boyfriend is a smart man. Every guy should demand a DNA test on any crotch goblin that a woman claims is his. With a cuckold rate approaching 25%, it's the smartest thing a man can do other than refuse to sire children to begin with.
He sounds like the worst boyfriend ever.
He definitely doesn’t trust you. If he doesn’t trust you after being with you for 3 years, he never will.
Next him.
Look how many women lie about who the father of their baby is.
@Sexy_Steve alright. I’ll bite. How many?
Please provide academic or government statistics to support your point.
Random blogs do not count. Anecdotal evidence does not count. Your fever/rage dreams do not count.
Well duh, I don't know the exact number. I go by real life experiences and how many times I have known this to happen. A lot.
@Sexy_Steve except you can’t prove that. Anecdotal evidence doesn’t count. So, in short, bullshit.
I don't need to prove it. I don't give a rat's ass if you believe it or not. I've seen it for myself and nobody can convince me otherwise.
@Sexy_Steve they make pills for that you know
sure they do
@Sexy_Steve for psychotic delusions? Yes. Many.
to get accurate stats, paternity test must be mandatory. then and only then, accurate figures can be found.
but "Women Group" will never allow it, woman like you won't support the idea, "the mandatory paternity test"; because cheaters, paternity fraudsters like you will be exposed.
@bondhugupto lol that’s a reach. Never been pregnant. How can I be a paternity fraudster?
I really don’t understand why men are so insecure. That’s a you issue, bruv. Just admit to yourself that you hate women so you can move on.
men are insecure, because men have to deal with ladies who hold PhD in spreading legs, more often now a days.. Strong and Independent SLUTS
@bondhugupto I hold a PhD in engineering. Nice try.
Also weak insult. An insecure little man who can’t speak English called me a slut on the internet. As if I haven’t been called the same a billion times before.
You’re wallpaper, bruv. No one cares about your lame “insults.”
Universities are dropping their standards... horrible
My ex said this to me when I got pregnant, he said “I’m getting a paternity test done” I said that’s fine, you go right ahead. I have nothing to hide. I was always loyal to his untrusting narcissistic ass. But he ended up not getting the paternity test done 🙄
wow 3 years and it's just coming out now? that sounds about right. there is a chance u are in an abusive relationship. he is a narrissistic sociopath surprise. they really know how to pull the wool over our eyes.
get rid of him. please. save urself
No he's right. My brothers had the rug pulled out from under them about a child turning out not to be theirs. My parents were humiliated and devastated and I can't describe how my brothers felt
Yep it's fairly common supposedly. And your bro was still probably legally financially responsible. Men are so privileged.
@cavmanier no thankfully they both escaped that. One of my brothers found out at a Christening as there was a rumour going around that made it's way back to my mother after her sister heard. My other brother was one of two possible fathers after his girlfriend cheated.
Funny how the bitches even disliked this legit comment form a woman.
Not cool at all. It’s so fucked. That’s such a dick thing to say. If you did nothing to break his trust then I wouldn’t put up with it
he is a good guy and he thinks about future.
Maybe he doesn't trust her because she has a slutty past?
@IamBeautyboy we can’t assume though maybe she was promiscuous maybe she was who knows
I meant wasn’t
Still he is implying that she isn’t loyal. He’s probably sleeping around