Emotionally Unavailable Man, Will He Come Back?

[mquaintrelle]

We've been dating for six months.. I'm from Canada and he's from the States. He's previously been in a relationship for 8 years and was engaged. Things moved a bit fast for us, he came to visit me was the best time i ever had. I visited him in Nov-Dec for 2 weeks only to come back and have him tell me he feels drained and is experiencing a sinking feeling.. or that i'm too much, after that we talked little for 2 weeks and then our relationship went back to normal. My last visit to him was on Sunday, was supposed to be there til Feb 1 but it collapsed and I left early because of his distance and hang ups. He also doesn't know where he stands in life.. trouble with money.. spiritually, etc. I can't stop crying he said didn't want to let me go but he let me leave early? Few days ago he said we are together and now he's MIA and i did text him quite a bit just to have me ignored... will no contact help? I doubt his love for me, he's a good guy but I'm a hurt to the core. I have my own emotional problems too. What are the chances he'll come around?

[xHeyUx]

That’s a long time to be in a relationship with/ engaged. My fiancé and I parted ways six months ago. I have so many happy memories with her in so many places that there are times when those memories and feelings of loss are quite strong. Does he have a long distance relationship with you because he can be involved with someone while still needing to deal with his past. Is easy to want a relationship even though we are not ready. Will he come back? Yes, if he feels a desire for a relationship. Will he be ready? It sounds like he has lots of work to do before that happens. ... speaking from where I’m at now.

[mquaintrelle]

sorry that has happened to you. im afraid he has blocked he won't reply to my SMS and i can't stop crying couple days ago we re together but he just lleft im going nuts here

[xHeyUx]

That’s rough. From what you describe, you are likely to find someone much better that has figured out how to be happy with themselves before seeking a relationship. ... we both know that’s true - just as true as when people say it to me. I know I’ll too well the failings of my ex fiancé. I know some were significant. Yet I love her. So, you see, I can empathize with your loss (focus on yourself right now - good sleep, eat healthy, exercise and go do things with friends / family or just go out amongst people and do things you enjoy or might enjoy - that’d be my advice); and also with him - not fully recovered from the past (will I ever be - notice I said love and not loved?) and yet wanting to have a relationship. For my part I know the right thing to do is to spend the time and put in the work by myself (well, spending time with friends and loved ones, not romantic pursuit).

A sudden loss is the worst in my opinion. Start with knowing you will be ok, and focus on the positive things.

[xHeyUx]

Know things will get better and when the time is right and you are ready, you will meet the right person for you. Enjoy life and allow that to happen.

[xHeyUx]

Well, that’s my opinion

[Sur_Superior]

Considering the fact that he's having, umm, how do you put this. PSYCHOLOGICAL PROBLEMS, and living. He'll need to fix those before he can get back properly with you. "You must learn to love yourself before you can learn to love others"