Is love a choice or a feeling? What is your experience in relationships or a marriage?

[gobsmacked3]

[edmonton]

Love is a Choice More than a Feeling. It is falling in love that we tend to base on feeling and use that feeling to determine the duration of a relationship. Falling in love is easy to do, and so is losing that loving feeling are fleeting. Many leave the relationship when it isn't working to their advantage instead of staying and working it out. Not everything is about being happy.

[gobsmacked3]

it is like a combination of both. the choice or choices dominate

[Kmw3874]

Love for the opposite sex I feel is a choice (or the same sex for that matter). I feel love for a child is a true feeling (for most normal parents I. e. not abuser, molesters, etc) that’s nothing can overcome.

[gobsmacked3]

The love for a child is the definition of lightning in a bottle magic- it gives chicken skin

For others, it is a feeling and choice

[Jmcmanning]

Love is a feeling, to make a relationship and marriage work is a choice that requires a number of things from both people. Love cannot keep a relationship alive by itself.

[gobsmacked3]

Always saw love as a 'living entity'. One that needs nurturing and tending. Or else it will wither and die. Herein lies the choice (s). I guess it is why small things matter so much

[cflr0227]

Love isn't a choice but a relationship is, leaving someone you love is a choice or staying with someone you don't love is a choice but falling in love is uncontrollable

[gobsmacked3]

yes, it controls you under its spell

[cflr0227]

Lol I guess, I mean more or less than you can't help it, you can't choose to feel any emotion, if you try to your not genuinely feeling them

[gobsmacked3]

it is compulsion to a large degree, magic to use poetic license

[HaveNoName]

I think it's just a name we give to a feeling of a strong bond that we feel with another person. For me, there is no bigger "feeling of love" than what exists between a normal child and parent. I know I am not explaining this in very impressive literary English, but I hope you got my point.

[gobsmacked3]

you explain it perfectly

[HaveNoName]

Haha. I'm glad you could translate my comment. Not sure what I meant by "normal". I think I was typing something else and then forgot to erase the word.

[HaveNoName]

Thank you my friend, for the MHO.

[Dim1213]

Falling for someone is a feeling loving them is a choice

[gobsmacked3]

wise counsel

[MyGenderIsAlien]

Its afeeling. Thats why people love people who are bad for them. You can't force yourself to have feelings for someone you dont like.

[gobsmacked3]

very true

[witherwing]

I can't choose to love someone I don't feel it for. For me it's a feeling.

[gobsmacked3]

agree

[CandacePerry]

It both I broke up with my ex-bf since he cheated on me and now I am texting a new guy

[gobsmacked3]

oh ok, good luck to you

[CandacePerry]

Thanks you

[ciitruskiwi]

It's a feeling. You can't choose who you fall in love with.

[gobsmacked3]

sure, along with choices linked with the feeling

[Lovemycountryboy7778]

Love is a feeling...
You can definitely feel if u are loved or and being loved

[gobsmacked3]

very true

[Lovemycountryboy7778]

Well thank u

[gobsmacked3]

no, thank you

[Hurlyburly]

It is a feeling. Things would be way easier if one could choose who to love and who not.

[gobsmacked3]

wise counsel

[anxiousanon]

I believe it’s both. Love is choosing to be with each other. Accepting each others flaws, bad days. It’s choosing to be loyal and choosing to put effort into building that relationship. However I also believe that you should feel loved! You shouldn’t always feel like it’s a dreadful chore. You should feel an attraction to them. You should feel the love!

[Pocahontas2000]

I truly believe that love is a CHOICE.
I always get over easily because I know I choose who i love, so next time I choose, I can choose better.

[gobsmacked3]

a lot of choices go into it

[Pocahontas2000]

We love with the brain, I think that many people complaining about not being able to move on are just being pathetic and don't have their own lives. They don't choose to love themselves in the first place, so they start idealizing someone else who is far from bein ideal and in the end they get hurt.
But seeing how many people cry over their past lovers I am so surprised.
I don't think someone else defines us. They go we stay, why cry?
I believe we decide who will be special, who we'll open our hearts into. The only special person in your life is you, everyone else in in the supporting role.
That's what I believe in.

[Nicole_Is_Bored]

I'd say it's more so a feeling than it is a choice.

[gobsmacked3]

i think the intensity of the feeling compels choices

[GinaTina]

It's a choice to have that feeling... this doesn't make sense

[gobsmacked3]

you can chose to love someone. if the situation dictates

[GinaTina]

Sure

[hasrett]

It's a feeling. There wouldn't be so much 'how do I get over him/her' questions if it was a choice.

[gobsmacked3]

********* KEEPS A SAFE DISTANCE*********

Very true

[Chaz269]

Love is a series of choices based almost entirely on feelings.

[gobsmacked3]

trust you to mess with my head, lol

[LegateLanius]

how is it a choice? You can choose to pursue the feeling but ultimately, you can't choose who you fall for.

[gobsmacked3]

in some circumstance you can choose to love someone

[LegateLanius]

explain, please

[gobsmacked3]

You are with someone you really like. Who is everything to you but you do not feel the feelings. You might choose to try to love

In more extreme cases, arranged marriages

[LegateLanius]

"try to" being the key here. I still disagree with your assertion. It can grow into love but they still have no control over it.

[gobsmacked3]

control is inherent in the choice (s)

[LegateLanius]

not really. No matter what, no one can choose whom they end up loving.

[gobsmacked3]

sure, but they can choose to love the one they are with. or try too

[LegateLanius]

I disagree with that statement.

[gobsmacked3]

as is your right ;)

[LegateLanius]

I enjoy talking to you

[Anonymous]

I am going to say it is a choice, because when my ex-wife left me she made a comment that has stuck in my head " I made a choice to have a relationship with you" . I don't think she really ever loved me though.

[gobsmacked3]

i think maybe a bit of both

sorry to hear about your marriage split

[sheflips]

She meant to say that she chose to love you and be with you, not with other men.

[Humbledman74006]

Everything has a choice except death. We chose to love, should we desire. Although that love is an expressed feeling.

[gobsmacked3]

in large we choose to die to a degree, as well

[outside_Toronto]

It's a feeling; you don't have any choice in the matter

[gobsmacked3]

the feeling is intense

[outside_Toronto]

It sure can be. Funny how at times, it sneaks up on you from behind too. One day you think to yourself... shit, wtf just happened?

[Anonymous]

I wish it was a choice because love hurts and it's painful.

[gobsmacked3]

can destroy you
also complete you

[Opinion Owner]

Or can completely destroy you

[gobsmacked3]

very much so

sorry that it did this to you :(

[Juxtapose]

Love is definitely a feeling but you can shape it and if your will is strong, you can eventually move past it or other manipulate that emotion.

It's all about will vs impulse.

[boredom95]

It's a feeling but it's your choice to do anything about it

[gobsmacked3]

spot on

[MonaLee]

After the feeling fades away, it's a choice.

[gobsmacked3]

in an ideal world, the feeling never dims
Sadly, we do not live in an ideal world

[MonaLee]

Don't be sad ;)... In our unideal world we can enjoy few /many partners... Not only one... Maybe it's not that bad? 😉

[gobsmacked3]

Agree.- but, pain makes you grow

I see you are a Pole

growing up, one of my heroes was a Pole.

see if you can guess who?

[MonaLee]

Hah! John Paul the 2nd or Walensa? Meeee? Nooo? 😉

[gobsmacked3]

The genius, Boniek ;
ocdn.eu/.../3_4ktkpTURBXy84N2Y1MzI1ZGJlYmRjYzE5NjdiMWNlYTg4MzE2MjExYi5qcGeSlQMBzQFWzQf3zQR6kwXNAxTNAbw

[MonaLee]

Ah!!! Silly me! 😉

[MonaLee]

But nice to know :) ⚽💃

[nina2992]

I think it's a choice you meet someone that you admire and want to have in life so you give a chance for a potential relationship and with time you develop feelings for them

[gobsmacked3]

yes. sometimes circumstances dictates a choice.

[nina2992]

Thanks for MHO

[sheflips]

@gobsmacked3 what is your opinion?

[gobsmacked3]

a feeling with choice (s)

[2osum4me]

It's a bit of both but mostly love.

[gobsmacked3]

yes, hard to define

[BatmansWife]

It's a chemical "feeling."

[gobsmacked3]

an irrational one, often

[xtermn8]

Love is a feeling with choices involved

[gobsmacked3]

very true

[tookind404]

Love is both, a feeling and a choice. You can't control or choose who you love. But you can choose on wether the person/relationship is what you want and worth the effort of putting your all into each and every day.

[SketchForger]

Love is a feeling, acting on it is a choice.

[gobsmacked3]

very wise padawan

[pink1980]

I believe it’s a choice. I don’t think everyone is capable of love.

[douride2]

It can and is both most times.

[gobsmacked3]

love for the whip. then the choice to be expressive wirth it

[douride2]

One of these days I'm going to track you down. LOL hahaha

[gobsmacked3]

i was in Canada a few years back

[douride2]

I must have blinked.

[gobsmacked3]

was there 6 months

[douride2]

Maybe I fell asleeep.

[gobsmacked3]

you probably had your back turned like in this pic

[douride2]

May be you were the idiot driving on the left hand side of the rd? Just saying from where you live. LOL hahahaah

[gobsmacked3]

i trained, bused, hitchhiked and planed it

[douride2]

Ah Yea I remember now. You must have been the old fart I passed by on the Hwy.

[gobsmacked3]

probably

[douride2]

I was the ugly old broad in the pickup truck. LOL hahaha

[pausetothinkforasec]

It's involuntary

[gobsmacked3]

true

[lilmissumshine]

It's both.

[lilmissumshine]

Who are you in love with? you've been asking a lot of love stuff

[gobsmacked3]

my cat

[lilmissumshine]

Men with cats love

[gobsmacked3]

cats rule

[lilmissumshine]

They're so precious but weird 😂

[gobsmacked3]

aweesome beings

[BronzedAdonis]

Feeling

[gobsmacked3]

you are flighty

[BronzedAdonis]

I'm young and exploring

[gobsmacked3]

jumping from one to another

[BronzedAdonis]

To figure out what and who I want

[gobsmacked3]

the 'best feel'

[nlsymon]

Definitely feeling

[gobsmacked3]

agree, with choices inherent in it

[nlsymon]

Preach

[hammeronfire]

its definitely a feeling

[infinity_love]

It's a choice