Seeing your girlfriend Without makeup for the first time, thoughts?

[Laceyxxx]

Hi Guys! So i've been with my boyfriend 1.5 years. on & off. Last night he brought it up how he wishes id get more comfortable and be able to not wear make up around him. I got honest and told him i'm self conscious. I get break outs often, my skin is far from perfect. Basically now, i just have few acne scars. Uneven skin tone, just not a flawless canvas. My question is, after being with someone this long, do you think this is make or break our relationship? Would you rather see us girls as our natural self, including some flaws? And still love us the same?

Updates

+1 y

This relationship is far from perfect. He's up and left me 3-4 times. Cheated. Lied. Etc. I probably shouldn't be with him, but im having a hard time walking away. Since i moved to another state to be with him.. I shower every night b4 i go to bed, when i get done he's always asleep. he's not one to show much emotion and affection. all this put together, it makes it hard to want to be my normal self. if he can do this while i have 'perfect' skin, i wonder what will happen when he sees my flaws.

Updates

+1 y

i was with someone for 4 years, and he saw my every night without make up. every morning. he saw me at my absolute worst. So i can understand why this question is confusing to some. But there's clearly more to this issue. So for the ones who wanna be somewhat rude about it, you dont know know the full story. I wear foundation, concealer and mascara. It's hard to wanna be your bare self, when this person has never made me feel good enough even with my make up on.

[Dionigi]

When I'm dating someone I usually see her without makeup within the first month.

Waiting 1 year makes me think you never trusted each other, or at least you never trusted him.
If this is going to break the relationship depends entirely on your personality: is he that shallow? Are you so insecure you will never trust him?

I prefer natural, I like the beauty of small details or flaws.

Still loving the same after discovering a flaw in the partner body. Yeah, love is not a statue, it doesn't shatter if something small changes, love should only die because of betrayal

[Dionigi]

Update:
You MUST leave him.
Go back home or find another place to live. He is damaging you

[Laceyxxx]

Wish this was easier to do.

[Dionigi]

I know, if it was easy, you would have already left him.
But now you are starting to talk and write about it. It's a good step in the right direction.
You should talk to someone who can actually help you, give you a new place to live for a while.

[jpmoore89]

I would rather see women in general stop with all the makeup, eyebrow plucking, pubic hair removal, extravagant hair styles, excessive weight loss, etc.

I understand still wanting to feel feminine here and there and doing girl things such as shaving legs or putting on some highlights for special occasions. But a down to earth woman as her natural self is beautiful and amazingly feminine.

I Really dislike modern pop fashion and all the fads out there that says she has to "fix things" in order to be beautiful.

[latinabutterfly96]

Those are literally men’s demands. Except makeup. That’s why women do all those things. Because men LITERALLY demand them from us. What else are we supposed to do, stay single and sexless for life? Hell naw!

[jpmoore89]

@latinabutterfly96 I agree with you. A lot of men learn these stupid demands from porn too. But not all of us demand these things. Some of us see a woman for who and what she is naturally and that is the most beautiful. Why? Because it is her in her own skin for real. There is so much fake of everything now days so a little balance of real is of great value to those of us who are realistic.

[Legendary_Shark]

@latinabutterfly96 "That's why women do all these things"

A fair amount of women don't do it for men, that'd be stupid to generalise it like that's being done on demand by men.

[Sixgun77]

What happened to "women get all done up for themselves, not for men"? I understand not all women act the same, but id love to know what the numbers are in that context.

[spunkygiraffe]

You may feel self conscious, but this is your boyfriend. You should be open with your partner, you should know and love each other for the real person they are. He just wants you to take the mask off, to see the real you, the natural person, the person with physical and internal flaws, someone who isn't perfect, yet still somebody with quirks and an amazing personality. Also, hiding your true face from him may make him feel unhappy, since it's like you aren't trusting of him, that you think he may think of you differently.

[Factshurt90]

🙄🙄🙄 this is why I don’t sell lies with makeup.. my skin sucks too!. Why would I sell perfect skin to a guy?
Try this. GRADUALLY wear less makeup over time. By the time you are wearing none it won’t be such a shock.

[Factshurt90]

Maybe he’ll dump you again and you’ll finally leave. Clearly he’s destroyed your sense of self value. Which is horrible.
Please move on. People do what we allow. Stop allowing it.

[Laceyxxx]

I agree.

[ecfresh]

Not only would I expect to see you without makeup, I would expect that to happen a lot sooner than 1.5 years into a relationship. One of the things we all look forward to is seeing all the flaws, all the baggage and frankly what you act like on your worst day. Everyone is human and no one is perfect. We date as a rehearsal for marriage (marriage is a lifetime) so if we see the absolute worst version of who you are and it doesn't phase us, it just builds trust and confidence the relationship with last. If you keep putting on makeup and covering up personality flaws and cannot be 100% raw and honest with us, then it will be super hard to prepare for a successful marriage. The simple truth is when you love someone you love all of them, flaws and imperfections.

[LittleRedKat]

What I'm wondering is how she managed to go 1.5 years without him seeing her without makeup lol. Like how do you stay the night or shower together without taking your makeup off. Like my man sees me without makeup almost every time he sees me simply for reasons such as I take it off for bed or showering or stuff like that

[ecfresh]

It also surprises me when answering questions from people on this website in terms of timing because I would think that things would be happening much more frequently or quickly as well. After being in a relationship for more than a year I would start to consider marriage myself, or at least see it as a goal in the future. But I try to step back and remember the internet casts the widest net of all cultures and societies and I know from experience people are vastly different around the world. So while you and I might be surprised 1.5 years go by, it's possible the asker has only seen her boyfriend once a week or they had months apart.

[LittleRedKat]

That's possible but unlikely in that amount of time.

[ecfresh]

Looks like she asked another question and mentioned they lived together and had sex, so you are likely correct. High five.

[LittleRedKat]

The fact that they live together and he just barely saw her without makeup is mind blowing and I'm beginning to think she's got some mad skills to do that Haha

[4pple]

Most guys don't find makeup attractive, you know? Of course it makes you look flawless and perfect, but that's not attractive when you're in love, your little flaws and differences are what make you diffrent from others, it's the real you, the irreplaceable individual, it's so much better to see the real you than a fake you, after all, if someone really loves you they love you for who you really are, not for who else you can be. Why do you think guys love to stare at their girlfriend after waking up in the morning? Because she's her true self, no changes, nothing fake, just her natural, real self, and there's nothing more beautiful than that

[elite665]

I agree much makeup===ugly I wish girls wore less

[BaileyisDarcy]

I mean, I've never met a guy who's told me to put makeup on, or said I'd look better with it. Only ever had girls tell me that.

I dont ever wear the stuff, when one guy asked me to come over with red lipstick on (a big turn on for him rather than a suggestion i should start wearing makeup) i legit had to look up a tutorial after going out and buying a tube. By the way there are no lipstick tutorials that dont require you to own a lip brush. It's ridiculous.

I wouldn't ever be with someone who would break a relationship over a few acne scars

[ForteExe]

I personally don't like a ton of make-up to begin with. If I was in a relationship for 1.5 years and didn't know what my girlfriend looked like without face paint on it'd make me uneasy to say the least. I'd have asked to see you without make-up (or at least little enough make-up that I wouldn't consciously notice it) by end of the first month if I hadn't seen you without it already. If a woman goes around with enough make-up that she looks considerably different than she naturally would I think that counts as lying about her appearance. I get that you're self conscious so adding enough to hide your scars is understandable, but after a while it becomes a trust issue.

[daynamariex]

Have you never had a bare face infront of him at all? Not even in the morning? Cause that would be make or break. It questions how genuine you think his feelings are for you. Everyone has flaws, and I imagine most people have insecurities about their face/skin. But other people, especially those that love you, don't care about that. When you look in the mirror, you pick out flaws, when you look at others, you pick out qualities. Just don't worry about it. He wouldn't suggest you not wear make up around him if he was bothered by natural skin.

[zaxxx]

Wow... Once. I had a girlfriend that was waking before me just to put makeup and then she was comming back to bed. This happened after 3 months of dating when we started to spend days and nights together in bed. I woked up, looked at her and asked her what she is doing? And she said nothing. And I asked her about why she did put make up on, and she said to be pretty for me. I asked her if from now one is possible for her not to do that. I get it when we go out and so on, but in the morning I want to se her as herself. She complained and was insecure. But in the end she went back in bathroom and took the make up off and returned to bed.

What girls sometimes do not understand is that some guys love them not because how good they are with makeup but for how they look without it. Makeup is always just a cherry on top to make things interesting, but for morning sex and cuddling... No makeup pls.

[Gottabsavagee]

I am a girl and I never wear makeup. My skin isn’t perfect at all either. I get breakouts as well but I still get a lot of guys pursuing me. So girl, nothing to worry about. Just be yourself. You’ll feel way better and the relationship can only get stronger as you know each other bettee and there is a trust. If it pushes him away then you were dating a kid. Anyways I highly believe every guy will accept you and think you are even prettier without it. Don’t be afraid of being yourself, love yourself.

[witherwing]

You've been together for 1,5 years and he hasn't seen you without makeup? 😳 How is that even possible? I look like shit without makeup and prefer to always wear makeup, but my boyfriend saw me without makeup even before we started dating.

If you haven't heard yet, men hate makeup and would always prefer women without makeup.

[scooogy]

It's like the opposite to kids getting their wardrobe checked for hidden monsters before bed time. Guys do wake up in the morning and have to check their wardrobe for the hidden monster called their girlfriend 😜

[rjroy3]

I think of this as an a similar circumstances to women wanting men to be comfortable enough to open up and cry. She still wants him to be a strong man, while also being comfortable enough to open up to her with important shit. A guy wants you to be comfortable enough to go without, while also regularly putting in effort into your appearance.

Doesn't want to to feel like you NEED it.

[sassygirl13]

I'm sure he won't mind the flaws as much as you think.
You can reduce makeup gradually one thing at a time. Try using concealer on spots only or bb cream and make it even lighter with lotion. It will give minimum coverage until you are ready to take it off completely.

Ps Guys don't notice as much as you think specially when it comes to their partner. I once came home after hair color and cut 20 cm off with new bangs spending 5 hours at the salon and he was like mmm what did you do? lol

[Anonymous]

OMG every single girl I dated so far had the same problem with showing herself without makeup. 1. Makeup doesn't make that much difference anyway 2. If a guy likes a girl, it won't really matter if she has a couple pimples 3. Guys usually have more skin problems on their face, and we're quite aware of that so we don't expect girls to look flawless. 4. If he asks you, he probably already expects to see a significant difference. He expects you to have those imperfections when you take makeup off.

So yeah, it's fine. If he likes you already it won't make a difference in how attracted he is to you. But he will be happier cause you were open to him

[litty]

People said the same thing to my ex when she got braces, that she didn't need to impress anybody because she had me. But that's the wrong thinking, she got braces because she wanted straight teeth for herself. Make up is the same way. You want to look presentable and you know the best way to do it. Let's hope we are never comfortable lest the day comes when we stop trying

[Highsxhoolstudent15]

“For herself”

[Highsxhoolstudent15]

That’s not how insecurity works

[LittleRedKat]

Hun makeup is great but it can't be the base of your confidence. Ik it's scary but try going without makeup more, not only will your skin clear up but you will become more confident in yourself. Although I do wonder how it's his first time seeing you without makeup for over a year. Like do you not sleep over or shower at his place ever?

[Anonymous]

I can't forget this one guy who shared about having this girl for quite some time and he said he liked the girl a lot... but then the first time they woke up next to each other in the morning, i remember him saying “she looks so ugly i literally ran and almost barfed”...

So, he clearly didn't have true feelings for the girl. I believe if the guy truly loves who, he’ll love you for who you are... and he will be the one to love your flaws and teach you to do so too.

[Opinion Owner]

Oh and the guy i mentioned above, i read it around here in gag somewhere

[zaxxx]

Exactly.

[Anonymous]

I worked with a girl for about 5 years... thought she was real cute... Saw her for the first time without makeup because she was in a hurry one day...

media1.tenor.com/.../tenor.gif?itemid=5306812

[winterfox10]

I don't know why women worry about this so much. Your relationship will be fine, definitely by a year and half probably even after 6 months. It all depends on when you first slept together. Girls think we don't know, but we realize that you didn't wake up looking that flawless

[Servus09]

I think it's safe to say after a year and a half that your boyfriend cares more about you than just the way you look. So no, I don't think you wearing less or no makeup at all around your boyfriend is going to have any sort of negative effect on your relationship.

If I'm going, to be honest, I think a little makeup goes a long way. But I would never dump someone over something silly like an acne scar I had never seen before.

I think you're safe, little mama.

[DepressionV2]

Honestly I got a bit lucky because my girlfriend has amazing skin apart from the once in a while pimple and such
But in my opinion I don't think how you look without makeup should matter if you're really into that person
Unless you go into the relationship purely based on looks it shouldn't be a big deal
And I would hope that dating for one a half years would mean that he loves you for more than just your looks

[DizzyDesii]

Lol my boyfriend has never seen me in makeup. I haven't worn makeup since i quit ballet at age 8. So when i finally wear some on wedding day, it’ll surprise us both

[spartan55]

If my girlfriend were so insecure she couldn't even go without makeup around me after 1.5 years together... I would be moving on. Do you wear makeup to bed every night?

[spartan55]

Re update: It is sad to hear your self esteem and confidence are so low. Being with your boyfriend sounds like it definitely isn't helping. Hopefully, you will find the strength to leave him and learn to love yourself.

[Laceyxxx]

That's exactly what it is. But since im 80 miles away from home, and my job is here, its hard to just get up and leave. I really just wanted to know if guys care about seeing their SO without perfect skin.

[spartan55]

We really don't, but it sounds like you have far more important things in your life to worry about.

[Laceyxxx]

i even messaged my ex, and asked him what he thought. He said he thought i was beautiful without it and never thought i needed it. I just know i won't get this response from my current boyfriend.

[spartan55]

Why would you be with someone who drags you like that? You're worth more than that.

[spartan55]

I don't even know you and I say that with confidence.