This is her first relationship, and she's very shy. We've known each other for about 5 months (dating for 2) and she has opened up and become more comfortable talking and sharing things about her life with me, which is great.
But anything physical is a no-go. Hugging, cuddling, kissing, anything more intimate, etc, she says away from and I can tell she starts to feel uncomfortable if we kiss for more than a few seconds since her face will turn red and she gets really quiet afterward.
I really like this girl. Any advice on what I can do to make her more comfortable? Will it just take time?
How do I get my shy girlfriend to be more physically comfortable around me?
How do I get my very shy girlfriend more physically comfortable around me?
She can't and you need to respect her. You can't do anything to make them more comfortable, except allowing her to let you know when she feels that way. Do not rush her I don't care how badly you want to. It will always take a lot of time and if it takes months sometimes even a year or two. If you really care about her, you would respect her. If you find it to be a problem then you need to communicate this with her. But don't make her feel like she's the bad person. If you can't handle it then you need to be honest with yourself and just move on out of this relationship so she can find somebody who has a lot more patience. If somebody tries to push that on me I don't care how badly they want to say they care about me, actions speak louder than words. And if they're rushing me into something I don't want, I'll just leave them. Especially if I got to repeat myself.
You just need to be patient with her, I can see in my near future when I have a boyfriend I’ll be just the same. I’m a severely shy person, and even someone giving me a handshake can make me feel anxious if I don’t know them well enough, contrary to the point, but maybe get to know her really well, or just simply give it time. Not everyone has the same comfortability standards... which I’m sure you know. Also, make sure to limit it maybe if it makes her uncomfortable. That’s my take on this, I’m no relationship expert!
Be kind to her and let her choose the pace (you will have to break the boundaries, but be sensitive to feel when is enough for her, for the time beeing). Everything physical is making her excited, but she doesn't know how to deal with it, that is why she turns red and quiet after more intens kissing or something. She will get more and more comfortable with the time. You just need to be her safe place. She needs to feel she is safe with you all the time.
Are you sure she likes you romantically? If so, it may just take time but talk to her. Communication in a relationship is even more important than intimacy.
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I think so, she always seemed to enjoy our dates and actually is the one who brought up us being exclusive.
Have you thought about asking why she has such hangups with intimacy? Just assuming it's because of her shyness isn't enough, she needs to communicate with you. Make it clear that you want her to be comfortable, but also be honest that you would like to become more intimate and you hope that she can slowly start working towards becoming more comfortable on it.
Don't compromise your happiness, if you're not getting what you want then you might be better off getting it elsewhere.
She's not acting like a girlfriend dude. I'd move on if I we're you. You'll be doing both of you a favour cause you can find a normal girl who isn't scared of intimacy and she'll realise she has some problems she needs to overcome if she wants to keep guys interested.
As a person who does the same. I don't do it for religious reasons but also because I believe my body is really private to me. I let him know before we even started dating that I'm not into this stuff and he must not try to do anything by himself. I give him the simple advice to live with it or leave it. And if he stays and lives like this, then, well, good for us!
Consent is really important. I don't think your scenario is as extreme as mine. Maybe talk to her? What moments make her open up to you? Find a way to get her to openly communicate with you so that you can ask her about why she acts the way she does. What makes her uncomfortable.
Some people are naturally very shy, and I can certainly identify with how your girlfriend seems to be feeling. Speaking from my own experience, just give her time; there could be very good reasons why she's avoiding intimacy and I'm sure that she'll get over them in her own time.
Maybe talk about why she starts feeling embarrassed. It's obviously not because of you, but I think it's because of maybe what others might think? Talk about it and make her feel reassured. It should be a matter of time. The more physical -without pressuring her- touch there is, the more comfortable she'll get it. Like maybe grab her hand when walking, kiss her cheek every day... Little by little steps, know what I mean?
Short answer is it will take time. You can help by making sure she feels safe, and loved. Over time the two of you will become more physical. Also, you should talk to her about what she feels when the two of you are getting physical.
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