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My boyfriend doesn't want to marry me because of my past? What should I do? (Page 2)
Anonymous
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You have to leave. He’s an asshole. It hurts, especially because he was the first, but you have to be strong and you have to leave him. There will be others and you’ll find someone so amazing he’ll make you forget completely about him. If you need to talk I’m here.
uh-oh, you are fucked. the truth is you are caught up in something so shitty and deadly you can never walk out of it happy.
you will be with him for as long as it will work and then you two will be separated anyway, just enjoy the time you have left with him because you two are already over...
I think his ultimatum is a passive aggressive way to get you to break up with him, because he no longer wants to be with you not that he knows this about you.
As perfect as he may be in, perhaps, every other aspect of who he is, if he can't love you for who you are, flaws, past, and all... then he really isn't the right person for you.
It sounds like you really love him, but if that's his reasoning for not wanting to get married then you might want to consider letting him go. What other people think should not matter in a relationship, it's between you two and he's letting other people and his ego dictate how he treats you. You can do better.
Chances are he'll dump you once he finds someone more "suitable"
I truly don't believe I can. He's the type of boyfriend women dream of and I still don't see what he saw in me when he decided I was worth his effort. I was a mess, it's only because of him that I am where I am.
That may be true, but I'd hate to hear you hit rock bottom again after he dumps you. You want marriage, and I don't know how he doesn't see that as you being serious about the relationship and that you really love him. He's keeping you around. That's all. Not dating someone because of thier past I can understand but dating them and then saying "I won't marry you though" tells me he's worried about other people's opinions and doesn't truly love you. It's not like he's against getting married in general he's against it with you. You will never be truly happy with him, and if you stay he will likely break your heart.
From what I read, it sounds like you are only staying with him because he was the only one to give you a chance during that low moment in your life. You feel like you are unworthy of a happy relationship because of your past and he's making it seem that way as well. At his point, this is a male ego thing for him, a lot of men just can't handle women having sexual partners before them because they want to be the only one even though they maybe have loads of women underneath their belt. You really need to let this person go, don't stay just to stay. He will most likely resent you and leave you when he thinks he can.
It is a huge jump from sleeping with +40 guys (possibly multiple times pr guy) to one guy. You are max 24 yo and if you started having sex from 16 yo, that would 5 new guys each year for 8 years straight. If it is a short periode like 2 years, it would be 20 news guys pr year. My advice would be to move to a new place and start a new relationship.
No respectable man will marry you. Either learn to love a man who isn't so up and up maybe someone with a bad past too or something else that puts him in a similar position as you or give up on marriage. I wouldn't touch a girl who has slept with more than 3 men and I've been put to the test and turned those girls away.
Girl, respectable men can be men with a bad past. Respectable men can be men with a good past that also aren't judgmental. Don't like someone degrade you like this guy's is trying to. 💯 The average person sleeps with more then 3 people. 🤦🏼♀️
@ConfusednClueless yeah so you want to be like an average schmuck? Then sleep around. Hooray. If you want someone who is proud of you, who everyday is thankful for you and can't believe they have you, well then you have to be special. Therefore not average. Therefore not a ho. Very simple.
News flash. I was a hoe in my day and still have someone who is proud of me and thankful he has me and can't figure out how he got me. 🤷🏼♀️ 🙄 Nice try bud. Not everyone is as judgmental as you.
@ConfusednClueless yeah but he's also obviously not the most desirable man either. Just as i suggested. If he was he would have the opportunity to be with a woman just like you but who wasn't ever a ho and he would obviously choose her. So he's willing to tolerate your past because other aspects of you are better than what he could get otherwise.
What exactly is the difference?
When you put it like that, saying that you would not touch a girl who has slept with more than 3 men. I would like to know how many women have you slept with?
It’s sad that we are disposable because we dared to love
@smg99 You *seem* to be implying that some people only have sex in serious relationships. I don't find it shocking for someone over 35 to have had more than 3 sexual partners.
@smg99 you are disposable because you do not value sex with one person. You believe sex is casual. So that makes you ineligible for marriage because in marriage sex is not casual.
@bamesjond0069 smg99 she didn't say she believes sex is casual. How can you assumed that. Also, you didn't comment anything on how many women you have slept with, can I assume it more than 3 already? Not all women who had slept with more than 3 men are bad, sometimes they in serious relationship and just trusted the wrong men, thinking he's the one. When you say turn those girls away, are you implying that you are actually looking for casual sex and not serious relationship?
@wat3rfallz if many of the men you trust are the wrong men, you must be a very bad judge of character or very gullible. That is not a good quality for a wife.
If a girl slept with more than 3 guys i do not date her because im looking for a serious relationship.
@bamesjond0069 assume I have very bad judgement on people's character. How can you say that it is not a good quality for a wife.
Also, till now, you still didn't tell answer that how many women you have slept with. If all the previous women you slept with while you're in a serious relationship. I guess likewise, that makes you not a husband material man as well.
Ok he's reading way into my comments I only meant experience doesn't equal unworthy.
One like @bamesjond0069 knows what he wants or doesn't because he believes in double standards. He's dated to know what he wants probably even slept and demands his girl sir daydreaming about love until he meets her.
Then tell her she's boring, isn't attractive or he's found better because now she became his property etc.
That double standard is what I mean.
@wat3rfallz being a poor judge of character is obviously a bad characteristic. I'm not going to explain how water is wet. Why do you think im a cheater? Wtf?
@smg99 why would i date someone boring or not attractive? That makes no sense. And whats the problem with double standards? That is what creates sexual attraction. When women are willing to date a man who is 4'10" and wants to stay home to cook and clean and who never initiates sex and is very passive then you can tell me double standards are bad. But we all know women do not like men like that. Just like most men do not like women who slept around.
@bamesjond0069: your comparison is unjustified and baseless. It’s jumping topics and not to the point.
You didn’t illustrate sufficient logic to state why double standards are acceptable or in which way sexual attraction is built upon. Then you skipped topics to height and drew an off the chart comparison to women who slept around.
Where does your concept of the rhetoric question you made have any place?
It’s random and it just sounds like you love reading your own thoughts and opinions.
Scattered and non conclusive too. I didn’t understand how or why the above are related to character?
Yet you write at length about being a good judge of character?
😂😂😂 Actually he is very well sought after. 😂🤦🏼♀️ You don't even know my man. He tall dark and handsome but he be swatting off these girls because he got the one he want. 💯🤷🏼♀️
@smg99 most men prefer shorter women. Most women prefer taller men. Do you not see how this is a double standard? Its more attractive to the average person to be with someone where there are obvious double standards in play. Another double standard is women prefer men who are experienced and men prefer women who are inexperienced.
@bamesjond0069 first of all, you kept jumping into conclusion. If you could find one sentence that I say you're a cheater, then I'll apologize. I don't judge people who I don't know.
Moreover, you have double standard just like what @smg99 said. How can you say that if a women slept more than 3 men is not a wife material. If that's the case, then a guy who slept with more than 3 women is also not a husband material.
You kept avoiding the fact that I asked if you have slept more than 3 women or not. It just proof that you have a certain requirements you want to see in a women, but you're not a person who are has not slept with 3 or less women. How is this not double standard?
Is like it is okay for you to do that, but no okay for women to do it. For example, it's not okay for women to cheat but it's okay if it's you who cheated and justify it. That's not even logical
@bamesjond0069. What you give examples are of physical requirements in ones’ romantic partner. Double standard is when a man is not given the raises eyebrow or frown for his sexuality versus a woman who thought she was in love.
Once again the outcome and progress of a heterosexual relationship is dependent on a mans’ willingness to engage himself with a woman sincerely. That goes back to the topic of respect.
So when a Virgin for example had a relationship with her boyfriend who later told her he will never marry her, then she has now ‘slept around’.
Then starts this vicious cycle until she is far removed from her chaste identity.
Ultimately no relationship will exist if this is how men believe double standards foster closer bonds.
This is why adults complain of loneliness today especially in the U. S
@bamesjond0069 the example you have is not even considered as double standards. Have you check the meaning of double standard before you comment?
Here's the definition:
A double standard is a code or policy that favors one group or person over another. Double standards are unfair. ... Men getting paid more for the same work than women is a double standard. Anytime some are held to a higher standard than others, there's a double standard because everyone isn't being treated fairly.
@wat3rfallz double standards are not wrong or bad. They ARE sexual attraction. Feminine women attract masculine men and masculine men attract feminine women. There is a reason why androgenous people are not in great demand for dating opportunities. Lol.
Absolutely:) @wat3rfallz
@wat3rfallz "If all the previous women you slept with while you're in a serious relationship" i didn't sleep with other girls while i was in a serious relationship. Wtf.
@wat3rfallz oh so by your definition not marrying a slut is not a double standard either. Since its not a code or policy. Lmao. What kind of definition is that? What a troll.
@bamesjond0069 wow. I didn't meant you slept with other women apart from the women who your with in your serious relationship. As long you have more than 3 serious relationship and slept with every single one of them, then you would have slept with more than 3 women already. I'm only implying this and nothing else.
@wat3rfallz well as a man women expect me to be experienced and so i am and i have never had one girl complain about it or judge me harshly. Luckily most women prefer an experienced man. But that doesn't mean im going to be into someone im not interested in. I dont find sluts attractive or marriageable. I have plenty of inexperienced women i can date so i dont bother with girls who sleep around. Its obviously very important criteria to me if i turn down very attractive women because of it.
What if an inexperienced women deemed you as a man slut and your advances were turned away?
There are some women
Who might accept you and are inexperienced; but once you marry them. Set yourself up for nagging, constant enquirer, massive fights, checking your phone and bringing the doubts up at meal times or when you want to get intimate.
This is reality not a game of chess. You need to know that it’s not all rosy as you have laid out your way of determination in partner suitability.
Oh and your inexperienced girls are without much else skill too. That must be boring. If they don’t take a calculated risk in one aspect of life this applies to guys also; they surely don’t care to test their limitations and emerge.
That’s a spell for boredom, constant insecurity, nagging and a false moral high ground. You may lose your mind or yourself.
Anyway it’s your preference I don’t choose an experienced guy based on your logic or thinking. If he treats me well unlike your personality then it’s a promising sign. Girls don’t respect Jerks no matter what you have been ingrained to believe.
You sound insecure about yourself, hence your harsh criticism of girls who dared to love, and are romantic within sensibilities. You might worry that you’re not such a man afterall in bed like you’ve been deceiving yourself lying to yourself;) all this time.
I’ve come across macho types who boast as you do and fail miserably in test.
All this is for you: bamesjond0069
No wonder your 32 and single. Send us pictures of your 50+ singles cruise. 😂
Good one ;) ❤️❤️❤️🤪🤪😍🤯😱
Haha. @ConfusednClueless @smg99 well said. I just felt lazy to reply, but your reply is just what I've felt. By the way, @bamesjond0069 did not get the point I'm trying to say. And he calls women who had slept with more than 3 men, sluts. Well, if that's the case, he's a man slut. I don't judge his choice or preference, but to call a person who has slept with more than 3 men are slut and not marriageable is going too far. Well, even though you say things over the board, but still, I wish you all the best in your quest to find a suitable marriageable women who had not slept with more than 3 men.
💯💯💯💯💯
@wat3rfallz & ConfusednClueless: it’s also how I always feel these guys think they are walking machos who get to dismiss good women who know what loving and giving are.
He is harsh on the genuine women not knowing as men they create a woman and mold her into their ways. Once they are dissatisfied, we are suddenly ‘ sluts’.
The count is not important once we enter a relationship or marriage and it ends because a man can’t hold a relationship or doesn’t want to or lacks skills over the board, women are labeled ‘easy’ .
Easy to love? Or easy to discard? They do that and complain that they can’t find the ‘one’.
Broad generalizations about women who have gone past their comfort zone to be hurt but still have courage to dust themselves and get back again to love again genuinely.
They are brave not sluts.
Marriage licensure is like any professional licensure. No qualifications or personality attributes are written on it.
Nor are marks, bonus points or awards.
How does he say one woman is Not marriage marriage-material or girlfriend material.
Take it as we don’t care. If a woman does earn well we love what money buys us, where we don’t need to be accountable to a partner. To have a partner is a luxury like a Gucci handbag, a luxury not a necessity:)
@smg99 exactly. This is why, I am still single. Some guys just approach you because they want sex or friends with benefits. To me, I'll just feel like, go fuck yourself. I think I turn off too easily. Whenever a guy ask if I'm a virgin or are you open minded kind of questions, I would just shut my self away from him.
Yes they are poking questions to determine their risks and how to test us. Ok it makes me sound paranoid but it’s with basis. It’s occurring as we write to one another.
It’s wise to k ow when to protect yourself from the test of insanity that they think is necessary to get the ‘one’.
Whatever happened to carefree bliss and sexy confidence in ourselves. I feel like there are 2 worlds of social reality.
I choose blissful ignorance but with protection of my soul.
As you do too.
We are not experiments to test. Women love if you treat her well and make her smile more than cry. It’s not rocket science:) to the guys that is.
@wat3rfallz Exactly. Most men approach you for just a hookup or friends with benefits. If you sleep with those guys on purpose you are too casual with sex to be an ideal wife, if you do it by accident you don't have common sense to know that is why you make a man wait before you have sex instead of jump into bed with him. Someone so gullible and who gets tricked constantly is not an ideal wife either.
@smg99 "dismiss good women who know what loving and giving are." we don't care about loving and giving women, well not primarily. Loyalty is more important than anything else. I would rather be with a dumb boring virgin for a wife than the smartest most intelligent exciting slut. Because the boring virgin is 99% likely to never cheat on me or leave me. The exciting woman is 50% likely to divorce and 70% to cheat (these are approximate statistics for the general population in the US). So no thanks to all that excitement, I want stable and boring! That being said, inexperienced women are far better in bed than sluts in my experience so im not so sure it would be very boring.
@ConfusednClueless I will stay single until the right girl comes along or until my dating choices start to decrease, which currently they seem to be increasing year after year.
Spoken like an insecure man 👨 your right about yourself. Loyalty is for a dog.
@smg99 well if you dont care about loyalty im sure you can find a husband if you let him know its ok if he cheats... since you dont value loyalty at all. Lmao.
I didn’t say I don’t value it, I said it’s not all I’m looking for.
I’ve heard pastors wives cheat and they were the so called good women of society as I’ve heard religious heads of each or all faiths cheat.
To me this is more about genuine nature and relatability. Those two are keys for success.
My ex husband would wake up each morning then to check my phone. I was also made to sit in lock down for 3 days straight. Why? Because my friends at gym messaged me ( yes a guy) . It was an ordinary hi haven’t heard from you in ages or seen you around.
He made me take him to talk to my friend. Whom he recorded to play in court a few years later.
He also ran out of the house the day after our son was born.
So much for being proper, chaste, good and religious. He made a fire out of smoke.
That’s my reason for utterly disliking those who preach god and virginity who expect women to carry on with blinkers on. Pure suppression leads to frustration and vindictive behavior.
My actions weren’t to bring out his worst but he made it.
Well his loss today for his vindictive behavior he’s In 500k to almost 700k in legal debts. He went to write slander on my parents too.
That’s for being the epitome of a good guy with false facade.
@bamesjond0069
While we have free will to choose what we want four ourselves, there are consequences for those choices.
There are plenty of fish in the sea, as you've likely found out based on your past. My recommendation would be to find one that doesn't have such a narcissistic point of view. Your past is irrelevant, and you can't change it, so this is on him.
totally agree!! listen to Browneye57 asker!!!
There isn't really anything you can do. He has made up his mind and you can't make someone marry you. There seems to be a larger compatibility issue here. If marriage is what you want, you may have to leave this man because he's made his feelings clear on the matter.
I know it's hard, but if a man treats you like this you shouldn't stay with him. Moving on will be difficult but you could find such a better man than this! He doesn't get to treat you like that! You should take control, and if he isn't willing to love you enough to make a commitment to you aside from your past, he isn't the one.
Its not easy, but if someone says they care about there image more then you, so they will not agree to commit on that bases il say you better off leaving
Its hard, but sounds like your not a fit, you want to commit but he dose not want as it may harm his image and leave you if he think is dose sounds like a bad relationship to me
I think you better find someone that put you as in 2 before others image of him alone
Dump his fucking ass. Yes I know it's hard. But hopefully over time you will come to the conclusion that he doesn't L. O. V. E. you. If he can't love you after someone brings up your past. That shouldn't matter to him. Your current actions should.
I'm really sorry. I mean I'm single so I can't say "the right man will come your way" definitely. But I do know you deserve someone who loves you for who you are now.
Hahaha yea yea.. he is the bad guy.. he is the evil guy.. ! Did he fuck 40 + bodies ! No wait.. she did.. she is the sl... here.. hahaha
@Light_beam I know plenty of guys who have fucked over a 100 girls. What does it matter how many people she has slept with. Take your small pug headed mind and fuck off
I literally don’t have to read your info to answer this. You love yourself & then you let someone who will want you for you love you. We all deserve somebody who wants us don’t fight to keep someone who thinks you’re not worth love. That’s a bad idea. It hurts because you love him no matter what but that needs to go both ways voluntarily so please don’t try to convince him. He’s made his choice he’s free to make. Now you choose for yourself.
What is the point of the relationship then, he is fine with you staying hos girlfriend but he knows he will never marry you, like what 😅
But really, you might want to get some couples counselling so he could talk about this mental barrier of his, maybe he would chamge his mond but really, if he is so set on not marrying you because of that, he probably doesn't love you as much as you love him.
But well, if breaking up isn't an option you are willing to take then all you can do is calmly talk to him about it and give him time. I know I would be pissed beyond belief if I found out that my partner kept something like that from me and had to find out by someone recognizing them, that's disgusting and you can't really expect for such choices not to haunt you later in life.
To Tell you the truth he's being an asshole and very judgmental.
He gave you an ultimatum to pick him and have you never be happy. So he's selfish aswell, my opinion is he's doesn't care about how you feel and only what his image looks like to others.
I know its hard to move on but you deserve better.
If you want marriage then this is not the relationship for you. Personally, I would not care less how many people a woman has dated/slept with as long as she does not have an STD and does not cheat. if he gave you an ultimatum that means he puts his desires above yours. A relationship is doomed to fail the moment an ultimatum is made because it means there is a breach of trust. If you do not leave you will suffer more pain in the long run than if you do.
I am seriously of the advice that he's the one wth the bonehead idea that your padt proclivity is a no go for M as rrarriage. I surmise why you did not trust him enough to tell him up front about your past. A hard spot to be in but you'll live through it.
The fact that you had to hide it in the first place shows that this relationship is not gonna work. I suggest you leave. It's your fault that you hid it from him... In fact I'm surprised he didn't leave you.
Hahahahaha I love when skank females get to the "i want to settle" point in live and realize that can't just brush their choices and actions under as rug because THEY want too.
You should have made better decisions when you had the chance.
You can't be a low quality person and then look for a high quality partner later in life.
You get what you deserve.
Let face it, this is BS. Her numbers only matter because she is female. If this was a man saying he slept with 40 plus people, he would be rewarded. Let’s stop the gender bias. If you love someone, their numbers shouldn’t matter as long as they are clean std and have shown that they have changed.
@Prezzi3 I agree with you
xx
~ Mrs Manson
@Prezzi3 would you reward a dude for sleeping around like that? I wouldn’t. Most women I know would think negatively off a player like that.
@Prezzi3 I think you're right. Any time men bring up slutty/promiscuous behavior its usually centered around women. I rarely hear them calling other men sluts, whores, or thots.. it's always women as if men can't be sluts themselves when they definitely can be. I'm not feminist but it's funny why guys wonder why feminism still exists. Because y'all do hypocritical bs like this.
@Shutupman If I was interested in somebody and they told me they slept with this many girls but that they have changed, I would continue to date them unless they show me otherwise. I would first ask that they check that they are clean before we would do anything sexual.
When I said guys get rewarded for sleeping with a lot of girls, I was saying society as a whole does not cast them as a slut or whore. It is seen as being manly. If a woman does it, it gives her a bad reputation. The consequences are not equal for both gender. That’s what I was referring to when I said men get rewarded. They get a slap on the wrist but a woman gets the Scarlett letter.
@Prezzi3 incorrect men get mostly slut shamed by women and women get mostly slut shamed by men.
Because of retarded ass feminists propaganda there is this you go girl attitude for women sleeping around. Female sexual liberation or some bullshit. I don’t appreciate guys that sleep around and have a high count because that says something about you as a person. Casual sex shouldn’t be encouraged. Does that mean I wouldn’t date someone with a high count? No. If everything else matches and they were honest about that and it happened a long time ago I could overlook it. Doesn’t mean I like it though. But no one is perfect. In this case she lied about important stuff to this guy for 4 years. If it’s important to him it’s important to him. Everyone has preferences.
@Shutupman I agree with you on casual sex not being celebrated. It's crazy how people want to have casual sex but still want to shame those for doing it while participating in it or not wanting a partner who wants to wait for marriage. The female sexual liberation started because of the shaming and double standards unfortunately, just like the comment you see above. But i don't see where it says she lied about it, she just said she kept it hidden meaning she didn't bother to tell. It would be a lie if he asked her how many people she slept with and she didn't give trustful answer but keeping a secret isn't exactly a lie. But lets be honest here, do you think men just blurt how many women they slept with when trying to court other women? they don't. They don't even bother to tell.
@Prezzi3 Are you somehow under the mistaken impression that males and females are the same?
@Shutupman yes, she lied. Yes, that was wrong. Yes, he can have preferences BUT if his preference is to be with someone who has a low body count, then just break up with her. He didn’t do that. He gave her an ultimatum. The ultimatum part is the ahole part.
I never said you personally support guys who sleep around. I said society as a whole does not have a stigma surrounding men who sleep around. I don’t judge others for who they were because everyone has a past. I’m not encouraging or disencouraging casual sex, im stating a true fact that when it comes to social standards surrounding sex, there’s no stigma for men who sleep with a lot of women, but there is for women who sleep with a lot of men. That’s not feminism, it’s a fact of society.
@Thatsamazing In my personal eyes, males and females are equal because we were all human. We all are born the the same way, die the same way, shit that same way, therefore we should be treated the same way. If she is a slut for sleeping with a lot of people then so is a guy who does the same.
I know society doesn’t feel the same way as I do and that’s why I pointed out the hypocrisy.
@Prezzi3 ... it isn't hypocrisy. It was a rhetorical question. Males and females are not the same. Equal = same. Congruent. Sex is always going to be imbalanced. Humans are animals. If you don't like that, then blame God, or the universe, or evolution, or whatever. Not us. We (guys) didn't make it that way. Watch some nature documentaries or something. There's no overriding millions of years of evolutionary biology, and males do not want a female who has been run through by a dozen (or however many) other cocks. Period. This is normal and natural.
@Prezzi3 If we take into consideration that VD transmission from male to female is approximately 2 to 3 times as efficient as the reverse, her 40+ is equal to a guy sleeping with approximately 100.
@Thatsamazing I agree that humans and animals are greatly alike. However, I like to think that there are two things that separate humans from animals. 1) We have the ability to self reflect and 2) we have a conscience. Both genders have those two qualities, so in my eyes, we are equal. The key to being in a long loving relationship and to remember that you and your partner are equal. They deserve respect and so do you. They deserve honesty, trust, loyalty, and love, and so do you.
I never once said guys are the reason why there is hypocrisy when it comes to women and men sexual habits. I said society, so I’m not blaming anything on God. God is great. I am great. You are great. We all have the ability to be great.
@Liam_Hayden that’s assuming if she has an std and it’s also assuming her sexual habits such as rather she practices safe sex. Neither of those things are known so let’s not jump to conclusions. That’s why everyone should practice safe sex because we don’t know what someone has or not.
@Prezzi3 @BrittBratt2416
She knew what he valued and did not say she didn’t share the same values? It’s like saying a man that confesses after years that he does not want kids to a girl that would really love to have kids. He has invested years into her, he is emotionally attached to her it might not be as simple for him to just break up.
@Prezzi3 but the more people you casually sleep with he higher the odds are you contract. She already had an abortion so not sure how safe she was about it, though it could have been from another partner 🤷🏻♀️.
@Prezzi3 I dunno what you mean "are greatly alike." Humans are animals. We aren't plants. We aren't fungi. We are animals, derived from great apes. This isn't opinion. It's fact. The ability to self-reflect does not discount anything I am saying and does not mean that we are not animals.
@Shutupman I agree with you that she was wrong for lying about it because she knew if she was upfront about it, he would have left in the beginning. Yes he has an emotional investment to her but if she is not what he wants, he should leave. Everyone has a breaking point and if that is his, then leave.
I’m saying we don’t know her sex practices so let’s not jump to conclusions. Let’s not judge someone based off just one post.
@Prezzi3 And in the overwhelming majority of mammals, male animals do not want female animals of their species who have gotten fucked by lots of other males of their species. If you don't like this fact, again, blame God or the universe or something, not us. Guys did not make it this way. We may as well blame you for getting your period. It's stupid. And it needs to stop. Girls need to understand that sexually, there may be consequences for their actions and how people (other guys AND other girls) perceive them. People are never going to stop labeling sluts as sluts. And yes, guys are allowed to fuck a lot of females and it's not a big deal because... we're *supposed* to do that. Duh.
@Thatsamazing okay from one animal to another, have a great day sir.
@Prezzi3 Uh thanks you too.
@Prezzi3 he might still leave her soon but perhaps he couldn’t get it over his heart to do it in that moment.
I believe anyone that sleeps around casually is at a higher risk of STD’s and unwanted pregnancies. You don’t know the person you are about to have sex with, even if he uses a condom it could still break.
@Thatsamazing Funny you said that, cause when mating seasons happens for animals, the male animal doesn't even care how many males she's procreated with in the past. He's just looking for a partner to mate with. Male animals do fight/run off other males who are around the female at the time in order to to procreate with with his female counterpart but he isn't exactly worried about all her past mates. You don't see male animals holding a double standard and calling their females hoes, granted their animals but even in action they don't do this. So no, it got nothing to do with evolution, the universe, or the Lord-it's simply the male ego and the double standards you set for yourselves and women.
@Shutupman I agree with everything you just said. Thanks for the cordial discussion.
@BrittBratt2416 Well... sadly, yes, it does matter; other animals lack the oral history that humans do, along with any other type of recording their own history, so the only reason the males-- as you're alleging-- don't care about the past is that they don't know what that past is. The evidence that they would care if they knew (just like human males do) is in front of your own eyes and ears, which you yourself just admitted-- chasing off competitors. We don't want competitors. We want her for *ourselves.* Primates from which humans are derived, well... don't have STD testing or the ability to write and read and record and understand all that information. If they did... they'd basically be us. Because we are them, more or less. Other animals only have the memories of what they themselves have experienced in their own lives. And as you said, the males chase off competitors. If males didn't care, as you suggest, they wouldn't bother chasing each other off-- they'd basically just all take turns gangbanging the female or whatever and hope for the best.
So...
@Shutupman That kinda doesn't make sense though. If he's invested years and don't want to break up but don't want to get married either then what is he doing. It's either he gets over the past or not, and if he can't then just break up. There's not point in staying with someone who doesn't even see you as worthy partner anymore. You're going to stay with me but tell me you're not going to get married to me because of my sexual past? Make it make sense cause it don't. Just leave then.
@Thatsamazing Yes chasing off competitors who are already there, but not caring about the competitors she was already with in the past. That's what you left out. Listen I've had dogs okay, when i was living in the south dogs would run off and get pregnant by whole bunch of different dogs all the time. The dogs didn't give two shits about other dogs already mating with the female dog. But anyway, if men want perfect, virginal, std free women then they need to be perfect, virginal std free men who will wait for marriage. But unfortunately there are a lot of men are willing to do that and in some cases leave women who ask them to wait. so... yeah. Fix that first.
@BrittBratt2416 if he holds marriage on this pedestal I would understand he wouldn’t want to marry her. And why would she even care? Marriage is not the most important thing. But what it does say is that the relationship is doomed. He might not break up now but he will most likely sometime soon if she doesn’t. Relationships especially after so long aren’t so easy.
@Thatsamazing And technically speaking, yes animals do gang bang each other just like humans do.
@Shutupman To you marriage is not the most important thing but for other it is. Exactly, if he holds marriage on pedestal and doesn't think she's worthy of it then she or he needs to leave.
@BrittBratt2416 Again, the dogs don't know the past. They don't have the ability to know the past. Humans do. Pretending that doesn't matter is like pretending that what happened to you yesterday doesn't matter. Except... it does. Doesn't it.
There's no "fixing" that. Again, as guys, we don't want to wait-- we want her to get fucked by US. Not some other guy. Competition. It's not entirely logical or rational, no, and yet neither is the way females feel about sexuality either, but they choose to only focus on male behavior rather than their own. So we don't feel too bad about not always being entirely rational. Sexuality is animalistic. Humans are animals.
@BrittBratt2416 if she finds marriage important she shouldn’t have slept around. Technically neither should have had sex prior to marriage. Again he might not be able to leave for the same reasons the asker can’t break up with him. Again doesn’t mean he won’t.
@Thatsamazing And see that's your problem. You don't want to wait, you want to complain about hoe-ish women yet you yourself just admitted you don't like waiting. Well if that's something you want, then marry the women you get with? A man wifing a woman is the most noble thing he can do for his partner, you can't complain about defiled, unworthy women when you are going to do the same to her and not even marry the girl. so yes, there is your fix however you choose to ignore the solution to the problem cause you want to put pleasure before comment sense. Men are tired of promiscuous, STD, single mother/women, then stop engaging with them or the life style. Stop having sex and wait... then you won't promiscuous, std infected, single mothers/women to worry about. I say the same thing for women, if you don't want to get knocked up or raise child, don't have sex. These things are easily fixable in society but men and women put pleasure first before common sense. And male animals actually do have a memory, that's why they chase off the other males in the first place because they know if they don't get to her first then the other one will. which means he won't be able to mate with her. So yes, male animals know and remember that the female has gotten with other males before him.
@BrittBratt2416 Okay. And remember that he's going to judge her for it. No, we don't want to get married, because getting married and confining ourselves to one pussy for the rest of our lives is not what we're meant to do-- why do you think so many guys want to wait so long for marriage? It's because we want to have a lot of sex with a lot of females. But the one we do decide we want to commit to, if that's what we want, yeah we want her to be our and ours alone, more or less.
The point behind the mindset is to try to be better and out-compete other guys around you. Which you already know. I already admitted that the way we as guys feel about this is not 100% rational (maybe about 90% rational or so) and part of it is emotional, but that doesn't really matter since females do the exact same thing. Except those ratios are different.
@BrittBratt2416 ... I know male animals have memory. I already said that.
@Thatsamazing So you're complaining about nothing is what you're admitting? You want to go around and have many notches on your belt but then turn around and ask why all the women are slutty? Does that make any sense to you? If you want to sleep around you can't complain about the women doing the same thing sense you don't want to be confined to one pussy for the rest of your life. A man reaps what he sows, so expect to keep getting low caliber women. You are only doing it to yourself and staying at the level on purpose. This is like someone getting angry that their car ran out of gas but didn't bother to fill of the tank when they knew it was E. You and other men with this thought process are obviously prancing self sabotaging behavior.
@BrittBratt2416 "Does that make any sense to you?" Well... yes. Males and females are different. It doesn't make sense for females to love the differences between the sexes and then rant about "but muh equality stop slut-shaming" when the point of those differences is just brought up in ways that don't benefit them.
@Thatsamazing Stop trying to use feminism and the differences and of man and woman to justify being a male whore.
@BrittBratt2416 Males can't be whores. Only females can be. Don't know what you mean. Like saying calling a girl a "dick" makes sense when they don't have a dick.
@BrittBratt2416 No one's using feminism here for anything, unless you are or something.
@Thatsamazing actually male humans have evolved to stick with one mate long enough till the offspring is raised. Humans raise their children together to increase the chances of passing on their genetics more successfully. Yes men want to spread their seed but they also naturally want to protect and support their offspring. And if you sleep around you are a man whore, lots of women will think less of you. Simple. Casual sex is nasty.
@Shutupman Yeah... no, sorry. We aren't talking about passing on genetics-- you really think that's why people engage in so-called "casual sex?" Whatever the hell that even means? Interesting, because generally the point of "Casual sex" is to... NOT reproduce.
... so...
@Thatsamazing we have evolved to contemplate our reproductional rights and able to control it. That however doesn’t take away sex sex is essentially for reproduction. The fact we get orgasms isn’t because sex is supposed to be fun but it makes people want to have sex more and thus procreate more. I’m just bringing this up because you started making statements about other species and nature.
@Shutupman No, sex is essentially for pleasure. People have sex dozens or even hundreds of times, and a pregnancy only happens one of them. If it was mostly for procreation, people wouldn't do it for recreation. You know this. I know this. Everyone knows this. Sorry. Males are supposed to want more sex, and we do, and therefore go after it more; females want it but not as badly, because they don't have as much testosterone, and are chased and chaste. Ignoring the proof of this is pointless, and no different than denying any other studyable reality.
@Thatsamazing biologically speaking sex is directly linked to reproduction. So no you don’t get it. Again read what I said. The fact it feels good is a stimuli to do it more. Nature designed it that way. And again I brought it up because you suddenly started comparing our sexual experience now with other animals while as you stated we have evolved to choose not to get pregnant. Accept it or not but this is fact sweetheart ;)
@Shutupman Ah yes, sweetheart, I agree-- one of here needs to "accept it." You're adorable.
@Thatsamazing So you're Hippocrates then. Men can definitely be whores, just cause you have penis doesn't mean you can't be a hoe. See, this is the double standard women are talking about. How are you guys going to cry about feminism when you hold this type of thinking?
@BrittBratt2416 I think you meant a "hypocrite," I'm guessing, and no, males and females are different. Holding them to the same sexual standards is stupid. We've been through this. Stop pretending that "double standards" bother you-- they don't. Just the ones that don't benefit YOU bother you.
@Thatsamazing No, you have completely backwards. Sex is meant for procreation, sex was made to be pleasurable so we would do it in order to procreate with one another. If it wasn't non of would bother doing it thus no children would be born. Yes, people can do it for fun or out of boredom to but the sole purpose of sex is to procreate, hello our reproductive systems are in our genital area for a reason.
@BrittBratt2416 Who's crying about feminism? You were the one that used the term feminism first here. Who's talking about feminism?
@BrittBratt2416 No, it isn't, it's meant for pleasure, as clearly indicated by the fact that the overwhelming majority of sexual encounters do not end in pregnancy, and the "Reason" that our reproductive systems and waste disposal systems are in the same place is because of evolution and evolution thought it would be more efficient that way. "Hello" indeed.
@Thatsamazing I didn't say anyone or you is talking about feminism. I'm obviously refereeing to the bazillion of posts on here usually written by men who claim to hate it and say it has destroyed the western woman but wonder why women still think they need it in America when we still have men who think like you.
@Thatsamazing Yeah men do the same, men don't like double standards unless it benefiting them as well. Everything you've written proves that. You've pretty much just admitted that men should be and can be whores and get the benefit of sleeping around but women shouldn't. That's been your entire argument.
@BrittBratt2416 No, because men can't be whores. Only females can be. So other than that, yeah, you're correct-- again, other than bringing up "but muh feminism" or whatever since it's not part of the conversation.
@Thatsamazing you do realize a woman would get pregnant if it wasn’t for birth control right? Do you know how sexual reproduction works? What nature and biology is even about? Sounds like you need to go back to high school. 😂
@Shutupman Sounds like you need to research how sex works and how many sexual encounters actually result in pregnancy. As though the pill was the only form of birth control to have ever existed. Apparently you've never had sex or just... weren't very smart about it.
@Thatsamazing well educate me then on how you think sexual reproduction works :) and how women get pregnant. I bet it had something to do with having sex ;)
@Shutupman 1) This entire post isn't about sexual reproduction. You've tried to change the subject to something only tangentially related, for no discernible reason. If you don't know how sex works, buy a book on the topic and read it. 2) Emojis are stupid. 3) I've been trying to educate you and the other chick this entire time. You simply don't like what you're hearing. Which doesn't really concern me.
@Thatsamazing
@Thatsamazing you were the one that got off track with making up facts about how supposedly animals also did not want females that had sex with other males. Anyone that has any background in biology knows that’s garbage, you cannot back up the shit that comes out of your mind. Let me explain sexual reproduction to you ; a males penis becomes erect through various stimuli and is inserted into the vagina, after having been stimulated an ejaculation happens. Male sperm ends up inside of the women and without any birth control could potentially impregnate a woman even just after having had sex once, depending on age and fertility. Why do humans have sex? 1) sexual reproduction is the most effective way of reproducing, it gives a faster genetic adaption to the environment in comparison to other forms of reproduction. 2) why do we experience pleasure? Men need to get arroused in order to insert the penis and ejaculate, it however didn’t make a whole lot of sense for women to be able to experience pleasure. Until not that long ago they figured that women that find a men more sexually attractive (he has good genes and traits) often times are able to orgasm easier or more frequently. This would help the sperm get to her egg faster. Male sperm actually doesn’t go in far so most sperm cells won’t ever make it to the egg and just get stranded and die along the way.
Humans have evolved to question their own reproductional rights and have created birth control methods. Women have gotten much more fertile the past hundreds of years due to better living conditions, it is believed women in the Stone Age were only able to reproduce once every couple of years due to the harsh environment they faced. Once humans stopped roaming and became adjusted to a farm lifestyle women started being able to have more kids in a shorter time span. Now women are fertile once a month starting from as young as 8 years old. Any more questions? I’d be happy to help you out seeing how you have no clue 👌
@Shutupman Yes, you're clearly very highly educated. Or something. Sure, answer this: Why do you still not know what you're talking about?
@Thatsamazing that question is more directed towards yourself. Anymore questions?
@Shutupman Unfortunately sis it's directed toward you.
@Thatsamazing obviously I am not your sister and I know what I’m taking about. I went to school you see and I read a lot on the subject unlike you apparently ;)
@Shutupman Lol yes many things about you are indeed obvious, sis. Including that you don't understand colloquial affectations.
@Thatsamazing that is because English is my third language and in my culture we don’t call one another sister. So perhaps you should broaden your mind, there is a whole wide world out there you know? But seeing how basic sex ed is already too difficult you might want to wait a couple more years till you are caught up.
@Shutupman
@Shutupman Clearly.
@Thatsamazing thanks for agreeing with me!
@Shutupman (pats you on the head) Aw. You're so special. Of course, hon.
@Thatsamazing not your kind of special though. That would take a lobotomy. Good luck in life though, you are gonna need it ✋🏻
@Shutupman (pats you on the head some more) Okay champ.
By giving you an ultimatum, he's trying a power grab in your relationship. Tell him you are sorry that he's so locked into his obsession with the past, but that you pick "B": and move on.
Don't give in to an ultimatum, ever. It's a form of blackmail. Do you really want to marry a blackmailer?
I used the word ultimatum but he wasn't really trying to phrase it as one. It was more of him being honest with me and telling me that if I stayed, it would be with the understanding we would not be getting married.
there you go, then. no matter how he phrased it, it's still the same. If you want to marry, it'll have to be with someone else.
Sorry young lady, but to him you're just a piece of ass. Great for him, fucked up (obviously) for you.
Send him this picture and get a REAL life started.
There's two ways of looking at it. Your boyfriend is a pussy bitch that can't get over something you did before you even knew that he existed which makes him look pathetic at best OR you gave so little forethought to your actions that you now have to live with the consequences of those actions, basically life sucks and so did you.
Personally I would leave him, it's not like it's going to change anything if you stay and you can't change your past.
Well well well. Look here!
Fact is simple: men hate when women have high partner counts because men know how hard it is for men to get high counts and so they have a good idea of what kinds of guys those guys were. And he’ll hate them, and if he hates them and you loved them then he will hate you to.
Believe it or not, the answer is to get all men onboard the casual sex train and not exclude any of them. That’s how you stop the drama. Eliminate jealously by including everyone.
What a crock of shit. How would your mother feel about what you just said?
@Azazeres really? Everything I just said is 100% true.
And my mother is catholic so she would expect me to wait until marriage.
But she is twice divorced and told me about how she has cheated in her marriages. “It happens 🤷🏻♀️“ she says.
There’s honest, and then there’s go across the street to tell you your dog’s ugly.
You’re not wrong, per se, just a shitfiddle.
@Azazeres Well fuck. Consequences exist.
It could be saved or averted by only screwing and dating the same kinds of guys.
But if you fuck a dude your boyfriend would hate IRL you’re fucked when he finds out. If you have only ever fucked guys like him then that’s probably okay.
Your logic is really confrontational, and it’s tripping me out dude.
@Azazeres I’ve had a tough life man. I don’t get laid enough either, so I have nothing to lose and just say shit without worrying about being disagreeable. I just say the truth.
Tl;dr I’m blunt as fuck.
Yeah that shows. It’s just kind of, alarming, I guess.
I'm going to get a million downvotes for what I am about to say... but it's fine. MARRIAGE IS NOT IMPORTANT. There! I said it!
Why do you want to get married? If you get married, how will it change your relationship? The only thing that changes in marriage is your last name (if you choose) and you get a ring. Big whoop.
Marriage doesn't change anything at all. You don't have to marry him to be happy and marriage is expensive.
A couple can be together without being married.
HOWEVER... if a man is still concerned with body count, he is immature and insecure. We are humans. Humans have sex. As long as you don't have STDs, body count shouldn't matter. I think you should leave him.
Marriage with a promiscuous person is bound to fail, not just marriage, but even just a relationship. It's a fact many studies have proven. Sure, it might be successful, but the chances of that happening are very low. Your boyfriend should break up with you, or you with him. Search for someone with a similar past, and this time try not to hide such important detail. The fact you hid it is one of the main reasons your relationship won't be successful.
What if it were him with a promiscuous past? He won’t want you to mind. Then it’s hypocrite. You can tell him to move another place with you then you won’t meet the ex partners? then the number can be forgotten. In my opinion he was not virgin too when he met you so the number shouldn’t describe your personality. Im not a feminist. If a man can get away with a huge number so can a woman. I know I may get a lot of downvotes but you got to understand that the past is the past.
Unfortunately the past is the best predictor of future behavior. So its not just the past.
But he didn't have a lot of partners and didn't do hook ups. Hers were hook ups which makes her immoral and not deserving of a good partner.
If "the past is the past" then I am sure you wouldn't turn someone down that raped multiple people and murdered one or two also right? Because after all, the past is the past. What a bunch of BS.
The question is why is he in a relationship with you at all then/ If he is not willing to marry you but still wants to be in a relationship, think something else is going on and he is just using this as an excuse. Although you aren't off the hook either, trying to hide it.
Your boyfriend seems to care more about his reputation than the girl he supposedly loves. Sorry I'm being so harsh on him, but this isn't someone you want to marry. My sweetheart was promiscuous as well, but his love for God and my love for him made me overlook it all.
Your actions have consequences, you should've known that, now there's no going back.
You have lost the love of your life because you were too stupid and reckless, it's only your fault here, cause and effect, you do stupid shit to make you instantly feel good? Well yeah now you lost your chance for a happy loving marriage and having the dream family just because you felt like slutting around because you were sad.
if you make the choice to be cheap and fuck any dick you find.. don't hope for love.. it is not for you...
You can't have everything.. your choices make who you are.. the past never dies and shouldn't.. it will hunt you for the rest of your life.. you enjoyed orgasming over 40 dicks.. well.. you sure don't deserve respect
This!
I would be absolutely disgusted even if she was just a friend.
@FragileSnowflake Really? I didn't expect a girl to agree with me
Most girls don't because either they're short-sighted or they feel bitter towards the situation as they have been/might be a victim of this one day.
@FragileSnowflake So , can i know what is your situation? I mean how did/would you do sex?
i can see points in both sides but honestly you can't force him to marry you so you would have to let this fishy go and go through another hard point in life, this time make the right choices and i hope you the very best, you'll find someone that would see over your past and whenever you have the chance with this person to expose your secret take advantage of it and do so but if you aren't sure then just dont give a number and just say youve had a lot it should soften the blow.
Fucking leave him girllll. I don’t like promiscuous people in general but if I find that out about a guy I love and currently with for the long run, it’s very forgivable. He just doesn’t trust you because he thinks you’ll fuck a guy in the relationship
I understand why you’d lie about your sexual past but he seems judgmental and if truly loves you, he’d forgive and marry you
I know guys who were promiscuous and said they wouldn’t take a girl who was like that seriously
I feel your pain of a partner finding out a bad aspect of your past. Many guys would be scared of me if they knew about my past when I was a kid through teenage years.
I think you must talk with him and with a counselor friend, someone more open minded and in whom he can trust.
I understand his position, but in your case, you deserve a chance. Mostly because you see it on the past and not as something which you would repeat.
I have been the counselor friend on these cases, and by normal, both of you must make some compromises to do it well.
Above all you, because having a really fun life, why would you go to a boring life with him?
Think about it...
I can understand the conflict you both have. He wanted a good and faithful wife, who wasn't promiscuous but i have also always believed, that ultimatums are the end and almost never a good idea.
Since this won't get any further, you may as well get it over with and find a boyfriend, who will want to marry you.
U need to dump his ass considering he is controlling u and the fact u had to lie about your past to keep him just goes to show u 2 aren't right for each other , He Will just take advantage of u and manipulate u , that isn't love that is abuse
In a row? LOL that was just a joke , again Your past is your past , if someone can't accept your past then they aren't right for u. When someone loves you they love u for Now and the future together , if they can't handle what u did in the past then they aren't right for u , your relationship with this guy is just abuse and control not love
40? Damn girl what the hell hurt you so bad. Regardless, he is kind of a hypocrite, considering he's also slept with other women. Not near the number you have, but someone like me could easily call him promiscuous as well. I get the trust issues he has, and I get you don't want to lose him. Tell him the truth, nothing but the truth, why you lied, and why you want to stay. Let the rest figure itself out, if it doesn't work out, don't force it
Just stay, look for a possiblity of changing locations permanently, n it might be too late but never hide stuff from ur close ones I have a feeling if u had been open about yourself from the start this wouldn't have happened. Take care of this from now. Maybe after seeing you loyaly stick around and a change of surroundings will in the future change his mind, don't keep confronting him directly it's only gonna remind him of the negetive part of the situation.
You gotta sit down with him and say listen, I don't do any of that stuff now that a person's actions in the past should define who they are today and that everyone should get a second chance, you have to mean it and reaffirm it on a real level not on a girly sappy level like "babeeee i love you", just be straight and real. Hopefully it works out and you guys can make it work.
It is 2019 , so there is no more mistery or doubt about people been this way , i would think about reputation and past , but what if my self confidence and trust is bigger than any not proud past , but this is not his case , so better fix to other person whose life needs ur xperience.
He does not love you. Leaving him IS an option, in fact it's the only option and you will see it in time when he continues to value other things more than you.
Why do you care so much about marriage? If you are confident you both want to make it work long term that should be enough. Him giving you an ultimatum like that doesn’t sound like he is in it for the long term though. Do you even want to stay with someone who can’t accept you for who you are?
If you had to lie about the people you’ve slept with, this relationship was headed towards failure anyways. If he’s given you an ultimatum as such, it’s time to breakup.
If he truly loved you, it wouldn’t matter.
you need a lesss judgmental boyfriend... i mean its up to him if he lets such things bother him but in reality you seem like a lovely person now so your past should not be reason to punish you emotionally like this
How exactly would you feel special putting your dick where 40 others have been?
@FragileSnowflake i live in the here and now... always have
I don't think he's ever gonna change his mind. You're gonna have to accept that your relationship will eventually come to an end.
I guess, if you u can’t leave him... then you just gotta be patient, and wait for him to respond take ur mind off him and focus on other things otherwise it will get to you let’s let’s look at the positive at least your still with him still going strong! Who know he might change his mind.
You should have been up front with him from the start. What was your plan? Marry him and then once you had him on the leash he suddenly wouldn't care about your past that he's almost certainly going to find out at some point? You didn't really think that through, did you? So you either stay with him without getting married or you find a new boyfriend. Those are your options. Pick one. Nothing anyone says here is magically going to change his mind.
If he thinks that his "respectability" is more important that the love you so obviously feel for him then you have to make a choice. Is he really right for you?
From my self experience yes it is disturbing knowing your girlfriend been with other guys and it’s best to not know about it some guys will find it amazing and spicy but not all are it that way I do believe most turn jealousy over it lots of things go through the head I’d suggest talking to him and asks what fears him from you
I’ve had similar experiences like this but things never worked out especially if y’all ever were best friends
Kick his bitch ass to the curb. He's a piece of shit. He's an evil bastard who is manipulating you and trying to control you. He figures he has a piece of prime experienced pussy to fuck however he wants. He WILL leave you for some "virgin" in the future. He WILL desert you.
Get rid of him and find a REAL MAN.
The fuck is he even your boyfriend when he talks that low of you? I mean the past is the past and him being more worried about his "reputation" then about you is enough. And girl please never beg an idiot to love you. Get some self respect
Honestly, the way I see it is: he wants to keep you around for pussy, but as soon as he finds someone who he considers "marriage material", he will dump you. I think you should save yourself the time and end things.
Men care about these things, it’s innate, move on and don’t tell anyone your number.
I didn't tell him my number. He found out from his friend.
Leave him. He got you to this good place. Him disappearing won't make you go back to the bad place. You're a different person now. You'll survive.
Sorry you won't be able to change his mind as backward as he is, he has a right to his preference. I'm really sorry that's happened to you, but maybe dont be dishonest with the next one.. I've always told the truth regardless of the consequences...
The relationship will end either way because you had to lie in the first place to even date him. Drop him if you want marriage.
He's not what you want and you're not what he wants.
If leaving him is not an option then seems like you’ve left yourself with one choice. Don’t ever expect him to change his mind.
Judging by the other responses it looks like you're right. I just wish there was a way of making him change his mind but I would rather be his girlfriend forever than not having him in my life at all.
I agree 100% with Grobmate, but I’m not in your situation so I understand it is painful. Only you can make the decision. Deep down you know the truth and truth hurts. I’m just wondering what would happen when he is ready to marry, if he’d just find another girl and keep you in the sideline. I don’t understand what he’s thinking with that. Based on what you said, he seems like he cares for you a lot, but someone who also says the things he said to you, the whole not accepting you. That’s like he’s living a double life and it will mess with his conscious at some point. You seem to be too dependent on him, and that’s very dangerous for your soul.
Deal with not being exclusive.
I'd probably do a similar thing were I him.
If I liked a girl but found out she had a high body count then that's a very strong deterrent for investment. If we opened up my end of the relationship and I introduced another girl into the mix then we could live like that. I'd invest in two girls, but not one with a high body count.
From my perspective, unless she could unfuck all those guys then she'll have to settle for split investment or none at all.
Marriage is a piece of paper.
You can have a relationship, or walk away. Its really down to you to decide if you want to be with someone who seemingly judges you for your past.
Be glad that you found out what an idiot he is before you got married to him. Now it's time to move on and find a good guy.
Short of building a time machine, it doesn't sound like you have any options. He won't marry you, so you need to walk away and find someone who is willing to look passed your past.
Your past is your last he needs to render he was not there and you told him things out of you believed he would look past it all. If he can't sorry but hard not the one for you. People like to belittle one another and every fight your in it all gets thrown up at you. it's not worth ur happened these someone out there that no of it matters to when they look at you they don't see the past only whats to come.