Why do people run from love?

[Anonymous]

Ever notice how love always seems unrequited? if you care about someone, they never do for you? you open up and show your vulnerable side, and they get scared and run away? or sometimes they insult you, say you're a creep. or they think you're weird.

why is it always like this? I feel that by definition, love doesn't toy or play with someone's emotions, it's truthful and honest and upfront, let's the person know you're always there for them because you care and love them. yet people respond to a challenge, that is just manipulating their thoughts and feelings.

why can't love just ever win for once? :(

[Susie1020]

Love always wins. Though it takes time. Love cannot happen after a small amount of sentences exchanged. For example, it takes 9 months to fully develop a baby, its parents can love them from the outside, yes, but once the baby is born their parents develop a new feeling because the baby is actually in front of them, this is of course unconditional love. Love is such a broad thing though people sometimes forgets this, another example, I first started playing soccer when I was 6, I remember hating it because I saw no point to it, you simply kick a ball around and only one team wins (whats the fun in that?), I even got angry with my parents because they signed me up. Took a year break in soccer but decided to try it again and over time I fell in love. I love soccer. I have perfected the sport in my own way that it is hard to go away from it. I crave soccer to the point that I get sad without it (weird, I know). No matter what form of love exists to you, it takes time. This does not mean it does not win. Love is confusing, this is an understatement. Though not all know that love is the result, not the process.

Sorry, I took your "Why can't love just win for once?" question into too much consideration I forgot about your actual question. I know you have heard this before but everyone is different. Some grew up in a loving home, others not so loving. Some people have gone through an emotional rollercoaster while others have not. Fear of love is created over time as bad experiences build up, this is when some begin to "run" away from love. Though this does not mean they cannot change.

In conclusion to all your little questions, love takes time to develop. Some may reject it or even you, but it is not the end. Pick yourself up and build from that experience.

;)

-S.S.

[DishLady]

It's not always about love, but about social circumstances. TIMING's key. Go read *Romeo and Juliet* -- or any work of literature where the couple's MADDLY in love but things just keep going wrong for them.

We're made to read such things when we're kids; that (along with the relationships we see unfolding in front of us on a regular basis) influences the way we view our potential in any given relationship.

The instinct to run is part of our natural sense of self-preservation -- we want to avoid pain. Best way to do that is to get away from the potential source...I'm not saying that's the best thing to do. I mean, if we keep running, we never get to LIVE. However, we do have that instinct, which is why you might be experiencing this sort of issue. Sorry, Anonymous.

On the more positive side, love DOES win when the stars align and two people are right for each other. I've seen it with my own eyes. The whole "Till Death Do Us Part" jazz. Really. I mean, it's rare, and sometimes takes a while to get off the ground, but it exists, so keep the faith. Don't stop believing in or looking for love. :-)

[kenani]

i have never been in love...but I can relate because anytime a guy tells me he loves me I just freak and put up my walls, all because am scared of getting hurt...but I know I need to change because I guess there are good guys out there,for you, you need to show the girl how much she means to you and how much you love her and would do anything for her even if it means being patient..but if it doesn't work move on!

[Asker]

why would you be scared of getting hurt if someone already loves you and wants to be with you? that makes no sense whatsoever.

[kenani]

i know, but how sure am I that he loves me?heart breaks can be really bad..

[Asker]

well you do have a point. its in his actions, does he look just as uncomfortable (if not, more) than you are? you can tell when someone really is feeling it. sad thing is so many girls think such a guy is a weirdo. basically if he's really smooth and a lady's man around you, he's just another player, or just most likely not in it for the right reasons. can you tell in the guy if you seem to really trigger his real emotions?

[csk28]

Unrequitted love to me is nothing more than attraction and infatuation. A lot of rejection and heartache is endured to before that wonderful need is satisfied. The girl of my dreams that I had an intense attraction for since the moment I first saw her accepted me, rejected me, flirted with me, and then ignored my messages to hang out with her, all in that order. It seemed like once I stopped chasing her she would start flirting, then once I started pursuing her again, she'd bolt and ignore me. She played those stupid games and I lost all interest in her now. Love should be easy, it's when it gets difficult and frustrating is when you have to run as well.

[themastaplan]

It seemed like once I stopped chasing her she would start flirting, then once I started pursuing her again, she'd bolt and ignore me. She played those stupid games and I lost all interest in her now.

TRUEST WORDS ON HERE...i think kiss me kate should read this...its too bad I'm almost in teh same shoes as you...im starting to realize I'm giving this my all and getting some back but not nearly as much as I give...i want this girl but my feelings may be changing because of the very same situatio

[csk28]

Yeah this went on for the last 5 months. We'd text on occasion and I'd tease her, she'd tease me then when I asked her out she'd never respond. She did that twice and that's all it took to end my interest in her and I cut all contact. So many good signals came from her but her ignorance and lack of consideration is what turned me off. If you sense she's playing games with you then she doesn't respect your feelings and it's best to forget her all together.

[b61983]

i JUST got done dealing with this from A GUY. So, they do it to and its horrible. but be glad your not a insecure little girl who puts up with it for a year...

[alltheabove1212]

People have these unrealistic expectations of what love IS and what it SHOULD BE. The truth is that it's not logical. You think because you love someone they should feel the same, right? It only makes sense.

Love is complicated, shallow, and difficult in the beginning. It's not what you're expecting it to be (as described in your question). I had the same thought-process for a while.

Everyone plays games, everyone makes things difficult. That's life for ya.

Understand the opposite sex isn't idealistic and accept what YOU KNOW you have to do. Adjust to the way this stupid system works. That's the best you can do.

[alltheabove1212]

replace "idealistic" with "what you think it should be"

lol sorry

[mrlonelyone]

Why can't people just say what they feel and have it be as simple as that? Because no one really knows what they want or what they really feel in real time. Odds are a unattached person running from your expression of emotion only knows that they don't feel the same as you do at that point in time.

Have you noticed like I have that sometimes that person who called you a creep etc...will come crawling back once you stop paying attention to and are totally over them? It's the most annoying thing. At first they act like they are not into you and can be very dismissive and, as you said, even insulting. Then you move on and lo and behold they come back trying to get your attention or wanting you to like them.

Even in the context of a relationship this can happen. No one every seems to feel the same way at the same time.

[PsychedelicZebra]

Most people have boundaries, so if you open up too much too soon, people will think you have issues and run.

Careful not to be too idealistic, this is reality after all. Love is shallow in the beginning, it's getting to know a stranger and build trust, push it too fast and the other person won't be comfortable.

[chelly_baybbe]

love will only win when you find the right person, if people run from it then its becuase they don't want to get hurt, heart broken, if you love someone like the way your implying then you have to give them some time to adjust beucase being to open and be scary but if you do it gradually then they will come to turms with it and accept it x

[b61983]

DUDE, did you just get in my brain and steal my thoughts?

WOW! I wonder the same sh*t

TRUE LOVE IS ONE ITS ONLY ONE SIDED...

at least, that's what I've learned

[Anonymous]

Love isn't always that easy. Sometimes people just fall for the wrong person. When love is real, it's all those wonderful things you described and more. It sucks when the love isn't mutual, but you break up to date better. Don't give up over one bad relationship.

[b61983]

hahaha you sed it!

[DeterminedSuccess]

Personally I run from love because I am afraid of getting hurt, I have been in situations where love was at my feet, and I've run and found every excuse in the book to not fall for him.

[Asker]

Interesting. Can you sorta... elaborate? Not saying give specifics of what happened, but like what kind of guys were they? Were they really nice guys? Could you tell they had genuine emotions for you, or were they the typical, smooth player (because those guys will never give you the kind of relationship you want)?

[DeterminedSuccess]

most of them I was intimidated by them, I knew they liked me there was no doubt, but I was afraid that maybe they could be better then me, I would feel inferior.

[Asker]

aw but why? you look gorgeous! :)

I mean, as long as you are well behaved and stay out of trouble, why would you be inferior to the guy at all? why would you even feel that way? I can't even begin to tell you how intimidated and inferior I feel around a girl I like, yet I still want to be with her because she's a great girl.

[b61983]

thats so sad...how will you know if your going to get hurt if you don't even try? and also, aren't you hurting because you don't have love? so what's the difference?

[stevo]

I don't know. I think that when you say what you feel, the other person doesn't feel the same way, isn't prepared, or like what you said, think you're a creep.

[Anonymous]

Its the fear of love. If you love someone it means that they can now hurt you or maybe everyone who they love has left them in the past and they do not want to be hurt again.

[kiss_me_Kate]

Love has to be mutual.

The pains of humanity: non mutaul love.

That's why the best advice given to many women is to marry someone who loves you more then you love them. Doesn't that sound terrible? I wish I wasn't such an idealist.

[themastaplan]

love doesn't have to be mutual at all...you can love someone and they don't have to love you back...no where does it say it has to be mutual...it has to only be mutual to WORK properly...as for marrying someone who loves you more than you love them...eventually that persons love will run out because of the fact you aren't meeting them half way, once someone realizes they love you more they tend to get pushed away...why give more when you recieve less...

[Asker]

^yes. love can be unrequited. it's a feeling an individual can feel, just because the other person didn't feel it doesn't mean you didn't feel love.

[kiss_me_Kate]

well, then it's just pain when in a closed circut.

[Asker]

yep it is, and it sucks.

[Anonymous]

They are scared of committment