What is wrong with this girl?

[ladybananhammock]

I have/ had a friend who seriously I don't know what her deal is. She comes off as nice and down to earth but she does shit that is like... what? She was in a relationship with my friend for 6 years, two years in she did not want to be with him. Tried doing a ' fade away' where she was going to ghost him? it did not work and she HAD to break up with him. she was cheating on him with her brother's girlfriends brother during that time. She also slept with her cousins husband and when confronted she denied it. Then after she broke up with my friend she had a friends with benefits with my other friend. he caught feelings for her and she was very insistent that she did not have feelings for him ' she tried to.' told her she has to tell him cause he is falling for her. her response was ' does that mean I have to stop sleeping with him?' well- yeah you're hurting him. so after all that- suddenly they become a couple after she she said more then once she did not have feelings for him. ln my opinion she did not want the confrontation cause after pushing her to confront it- all of a sudden they are a couple. she lives with her ' best friend' who she loathes and refers to her as ' sloth' and thinks is ' slutty and needy.' but won't move or anything. Found out she slept with my ex husband years after the fact we divorced and for ten years she acted like nothing was the matter. i have no love loss for the man but I stopped speaking to her for the sheer fact that she just went on without much guilt or remorse and could not tell me the truth in all those years. I would have been angry but maybe forgiven her cause at least it meant she felt- something or was sorry and valued our friendship or whatever I don't know. just had me thinking cause I overlooked all this wtf about her cause she was ' nice.' what is the matter with her? I am baffled cause this is just shitty not normal behavior and what compels her to be this way?

[lowell2593]

I've had friends where I overlooked this stuff and then one day was like wtf? You may want to consider why you are friends with her at all. She sounds very selfish, entitled, and not loyal at all. What you are witnessing is her true nature and you are trying to grapple that. Usually these people are very charming and so it can be confusing. But can you really trust this person? If she is doing these things to other people she will do them to you. Most people like this grow up with major issues at home or horrible events growing up. They internalize these events and feel worthless. To cope with this, they do all these dramatic things to feel powerful and because they believe they are entitled to what they want. It is good you recognize these things are not ok and are questioning her. Consider your friendship carefully. Best of luck to you!

[ladybananhammock]

I do not consider her a friend anymore, this has been recent so I still have to say ' ex' friend as habit. I have cut off contact with her as well. I do not need her in my life. I was just baffled cause after all this time I guess I did not know her. But it seems like you hit the nail on the head. she has a VERY weird family dynamic and they dont confront issues and stuff. It has always made her very secretive. She may very well feel worthless/ entitled cause her mom is ' nice' but now i think about it she has always been emotionally abusive to her. And you are right she has done this to me- she slept with my ex husband while we were together... so yeah. a major reason i cut contact. she was also a shit friend while we were friends just did not understand why. but thanks for the insight on it it does make sense.

[lowell2593]

Ahh that's very good I am happy you made that step. It sounds like her mother was the one who taught her to feel worthless. Especially since mothers have an important psychological role to nurture us. A well nurtured child believes everything will be ok and has a good out look. She grew up without that and must view the world as hostile in terrifying. We can have compassion for the way people as your ex friend have suffered but also not allow their toxicity to infest our lives. There is peace in the balance of those two ideas. I am sorry to here how she betrayed you but I am glad you have removed her. You have done yourself a huge service. If you ever any more questions about things like that always feel free to shoot me a message.

[lowell2593]

Hear*

[spartan55]

I'm trying to figure out why you are friends with a nut like that. She sounds profoundly selfish.

[ladybananhammock]

No, I stopped talking to her all together I do not consider her a friend I should have said ' ex' friend instead of the have/had. It was all kind of recent and I Knew her for years and am baffled because I guess I really did not know her at all and why she is the way she is.

[spartan55]

She was likely showing who she was most of the time, you just didn't notice or gave her the benefit of the doubt.

[ladybananhammock]

This is true cause her 'nice down to earth personality' made it real easy to over look the shitty things she was doing. But then it became too much to over look

[spartan55]

Love your username by the way 😂😂😂