Why won't my boyfriend tell me what he talks to his therapist about?

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend of 6 months goes to a therapist every two weeks.

He says he just goes to talk, but he won't tell me what about. He says it's very helpful, he doesn't go because he has problems, he just considers it helpful.

Do I not have a right to know?

Plus, there should not be any secrets in a relationship.

[Vmm90]

The purpose of going to see a therapist is to be able to openly discuss what is on your mind in a safe and non judgmental environment. There are things he may feel he needs to workout on his own, if he informed you, you may turn into a rescuer role and try to solve whatever it is he is going through and may not want that. In this case you need to be able to respect the fact that he took an important step to seek counseling and be supportive of that choice and if he chooses to inform you it should be on his terms.

[sejla]

No you don't have a right to know unless he is working on something you both agreed that he needs to work on to make your relationship better like if you were already married. Do not ask him what he is talking about. When a person goes to a therapist he or she can share the things he or she might be too afraid to talk about with the people they are around in fear of judgment and some things just don't need to be shared in general.

[Asker]

He was going before we started dating so it's not about something for us.

[sejla]

He will tell you things when he is ready most likely.

[loveslongnails]

This is more proof for me of something I always say about relationships or marriage: your spouse or bf/gf is NOT your "best friend" in every sense of the term. Full disclosure of absolutely everything is NOT essential for a solid marriage or relationship. Some "secrets" are private, and if they don't affect anyone else, let sleeping dogs lie. Or if they bark at a therapist, leave them alone ! LOL

[FreshRDPB21]

Sorry but no. You don't have the right the know. People go to therapy to get professional help from issues they don't feel comfortable talking about with other people. Therapists are trained to deal with certain issues they afflicts people while significant others and such aren't. Just keep in mind that your boyfriend is trying to get help and trying to better himself the way he thinks is best. Let him be and if he wants to open up to you that's his choice. Just remember he's not doing it out of malice

[matchrestore]

It's up to him what he shares about his counseling sessions. He likely has already talked to you about a lot of what he's told the therapist, but the therapist allows him to discuss it with an impartial third party, and may let him open up more about his emotions and feelings. Don't take that as a negative about yourself- he cares way more about how you perceive him, and that causes him to choose how he opens up to you more carefully. You likely do the same without realizing it.

[BeMuse]

It’s none of your business. But assume you’re that nosey and pushy that you’re acting like he’s keeping secrets because he’s talking to a therapist honestly he probably tells his therapist that sort of shit about you because they are strong character flaws that cause stress in his life.

[winterfox10]

The point of going to a therapist is that you are confiding in someone who has no personal stake in the problems you tell them about. They are detached from the situations, and they are sworn to secrecy over the things you tell them. You, being his girlfriend, are too close. Even if he wanted to tell you; your relationship prevents you from being effective in the role you want to play.

"Do I not have a right to know?"

That's correct, you have absolutely no right know.

[yoitsjosephuk]

6 months? That's not exactly a long time! He goes to the therapist as it's obviosly something very private in his life, give he space, you're not entitled to know

[Liam_Hayden]

No, you have no right to know. The point of therapy is to have a safe place to discuss that which the person might not be able to discuss elsewhere. To be able to work out issues without pressure from those who might be involved.

By the way, a minor's parents also would have no right to know unless the child was threatening suicide or the like.

[Pamina]

Therapy is supposed to be a private, anonymous, and safe space for the person going. You have to respect that.

[KieranByrne]

Therapy is for that person and the therapist 'ONLY', the reason being if he tells you, this causes 'Tension' again, not saying females are 'Crazy', but they do talk 'Shite' a lot!

[SarahsSummer]

You do not have a right to know What your boyfriend talks about at therapy.

[Shiver]

No, what happens in therapy is between the patient and the therapist.

[Jamie05rhs]

Personally, I think that's his business and his alone. And if you went to a therapist then that would be personal and private for you as well and none of his business either.

[MemeMaester]

Its just really hard to talk about sometimes... Don't force him

[blackrose_]

because he needs a little privacy
That’s 100% normal
Don’t press him to talk to you

[Primate]

For him to be seeing a therapist, there’s a chance he is dealing with something which he will share with you in the future.
Unless it’s a deal breaker for you, wait it out.

[pleasestopthis]

Because it's private... and sorry, but 6 months is not even enough for someone to share all their secrets. Can't you let him have some privacy? Damn... poor guy.

[Anonymous]

That is highly NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS. My girlfriend knows I go to a therapist but I don't tell her what I discuss with him. You are really overstepping your bounds in that situation

[Opinion Owner]

Instead of bitching and complaining you should be glad he goes. A lot of guys won't even do that much

[NorthShoreCalling]

This

[Anonymous]

It's probably just regarding how smelly his dumps are, or how difficult the tax audit was. Take a chill pill and enjoy your boyfriend while he's in a good mood, because he's paying to be in it. :P

[Anonymous]

Lol wow. Therapists are better trained at dealing with certain issues than you are.

[Synikal]

Because he either wants and unbiased opinion or he knows exactly how you would react. It's a therapist not a reporter. If this bothers you then there may be more problems than open speech. Js.

[JSWise143]

Because it's his therapist and doesn't have to. Neither should he?

[Anonymous]

Why should he? You’re expecting too much of him there. If you have issues with him about you or your relationship ask him about those directly,

[Opinion Owner]

This should be obvious though so perhaps it’s you actually that needs to see a therapist if it makes you so uncomfortable.

[loveslongnails]

A right? Hell no. Mind your own business until you're a girlfriend of WAY more than six months.