Why won't my boyfriend let me express how I feel without him being mean, or giving me the silent treatment?

[Anonymous]

If he treats me in a way I dislike and I mention that to him, he gives me the silent treatment. Even though I'm only expressing how I'm feeling.

He treats me in a way to let me think I'm not allowed to feel. He can be really hurtful and callous if I try to talk to him or tell him how I feel. He'll ignore me completely until I give in and allow him to treat me in a way u dislike

[itsalyssaagain]

I was in a relationship with someone like this. And I was really really attached to him. I put up with it for some time and sometimes we discussed it. It got to the point where I said you either have to change or we are breaking up. He didn’t want to break up and he changed…for a week. People tend to go back to their old habits. I broke up with him.


What I’m trying to say is your boyfriend will always be like this and it’s because that’s who he is as a person. People act in certain ways for all sorts of reasons and most of the time it’s because of trauma. You have to decide if you can put up with this and stay with him or be in a different relationship.


Also people like this are unreliable. And it hurts when you care for someone but you can’t rely on them.

[PewDieCry]

If you ever voice to someone that their actions are hurting you and they do nothing, leave. This is only the beginning of a very terrible companionship.

Someone who cares would not want to see the person they like or love hurting from anything let alone it being something they did.

Put this into perspective, if you had a daughter and she came to you telling you her boyfriend goes cold and doesn't communicate with her, what would you say?

[ohsheeT]

You have to understand when men growing up or when boys growing up to become men they were never told what you were telling him so he doesn't know how to handle it he doesn't know what to say back and he's embarrassed about that plus he's embarrassed because he doesn't know what to say so the best way for him to handle it is to be quiet he shouldn't get mean about it that just means he's very frustrated about it because he doesn't have the vocabulary or the brain power to take it there to accept it acknowledge it and to tell you something nice about yourself so that's why they do it I believe

[slatyb]

Who cares? The important question is "Why do you tolerate it?" Get the hell out so you can meet someone capable of giving love.

[catiecatie]

Sounds like he’s putting you down. No man is worth that. If he wants to play the silent treatment give it to him. Relationships should be about wanting to be your best and build each other up, not listening to you or your feelings are terrible. If he ever has a bad day at work or school or anything just tell him I don’t want it hear it. Or just dump him if he’s not listening to you. Best of luck girl!

[snowboarder720]

Sounds like your boyfriend has a habit of Stonewalling you.
Stonewalling occurs when the listener withdraws from the conversation without resolving anything. It takes time from the negativity from the other 3 horsemen to settle in and when it does it can become a habit. The antidote to stonewalling is taking a break from the conversation for about 20 minutes and return to the conversation while calmed down.

[glennos89]

Better ditch him because he sounds like a dick tbh. I wouldn't let anybody threat me like that especially not your boyfriend. Wish you the best but obviously he has no respect for you if he threats you like that 🤷‍♂️

[SeriouslyFunny00]

You're dating a boy, not a man. The question now is, will you tolerate this?

[xoxooxoxoxo]

Because he wants u to feel bad for having a voice red flag run!!

[mommymommymommy]

That's how I feel. I've never been able to express how I feel without some trump supporter telling me "fuck my feelings"

[Kiki1216]

He doesn’t want to acknowledge your feels because he would then have to change the behavior. So, if he doesn’t know; he doesn’t have to change.

[es20490446e]

When looking for a girlfriend, this is the number one thing I evaluate.

Because, according to science, this is the highest predictor if a relationship will last or not.

[spartan55]

And why do you stay with that moron?

[Asker]

Thought he'd change once he knew how I felt. Boy was i wrong He's getting worse though. I know I need to end it

[Hulk30]

He's narcissistic

[Asker]

My friend said the same.

[FilmGuy93]

Because he doesn't respect you

[Ms_Facesitter]

That's textbook abusive relationship. Break up.

[TooHot2Care]

Bro, you’re being abused.

[Unit1]

Wrong boyfriend sweetie.

[Anonymous]

You need to dump him

[smashleyy]

Emotionally immature

[sixthlisbonsister]

He's a manipulator