Boyfriend follows models and sexual accounts on Instagram, won't let me follow him?

[Anonymous]

I've asked to look through it and he said "I don't care if you do" but he never made an attempt to show me, I requested to follow him and he didn't accept my offer, but his following has increased since then which means he has allowed others to follow him - he has also followed others.

I want to ask him about it but I don't want him to think I'm being crazy. I've expressed to him how it makes me feel knowing that he's following all of those women but I've also accepted that it'll never change because it is an addiction to him and the more I nag him about it, the more he's going to do it.

I don't want to end the relationship over fucking social media, but why does he have to be so shady about it? I don't think he'd ever cheat on me, but the more he hesitates about this the more unsure I become.

I know that he's active on Instagram because his following/followers will increase, as well as the number of things he posts, all while telling me he hardly uses the app. Even if he just showed me on his phone, even without me following him, it'd be fine.

Updates

+1 y

I should also add that we discussed this when I asked to look through it if it wasn't that bad.

Him: I'll let you look but I already know you'll get upset about it.

Me: Is it really that bad?

Him: It isn't bad but I know how you feel about me following those sort of pages, it isn't like they're having an affect on our relationship but I know you won't be happy about it.

And then he dropped it.

Updates

+1 y

Update: He said he has no issue with showing me his Instagram account but he knows that I'll be unhappy with it. I asked him why he has to follow those accounts and his response was "because I want to" and "if I want to follow some sexy ass girls then I'm going to and you won't control it." so there is that.

[Malita55]

It’s simple, men who are in a relationship should not be following scandalous pages on Instagram. Hands down.

[Asker]

That's where I stand on it, to be honest, but at the same time I figured that I love him enough to get past it as long as it doesn't have a negative impact on our relationship and as far as I can tell, it hasn't, but he's just being shady about his Insta account and I'm already aware of what he follows.

It's an addiction and the more I tell him to leave it behind the more he wants to have it around. His parents fought the same battle with him when he was younger.

[Malita55]

Hmmm porn addiction? Yes very real. I hope he can fight it and grow out of it. If he cares about you, he would.

[aestheticsofty]

If he’s not showing you the content, that’s a red flag. Sounds shady and weird.

[Asker]

It's an addiction to him. If I tell him to stop then he'll stop for a short period of time before finding another way to view it. His parents dealt with the same thing when it came to porn when he was younger. He said it isn't negatively impacting our relationship, that he still loves me and finds me attractive, so I shouldn't be so worried and insecure about it. Except now he's being shady and putting effort into hiding it now, so I'm only growing more worried.

[aestheticsofty]

Yeah, and you have a right to that. You should be worried. If he’s hiding it, it sounds like he may be receiving personal nudes from other girls or cheating in that type of form.

[kashmenon]

If he's still hiding shit from you then he's hiding something or not accepted u yet.

[Asker]

He has accepted at least 3 other people, so why not me? He has also posted and followed others since I requested to follow him. Unless he's willing to accept my request by tomorrow or at least shows me his account tomorrow then there is no reason to tolerate the shady behavior.

[kashmenon]

U have every right to know

[kashmenon]

I'm not sure why he would respond that way. But it's true that if he wants to follow u can't control. Maybe he just likes looking at stuff. Do u check out people together or is it too early yet? My girlfriend and I had this thing of checking out people when we are out. Its a couple thing but it takes time. Are u there yet?

[omgjassy]

I don’t trust it. He’s being to secretive.

[Asker]

He doesn't lock his phone and he'll check messages with me around and he'll even check Twitter and Facebook, but I only once saw him open Instagram and it was because he got a bunch of likes on a picture I took of his cat.

I don't want to fight him about this because it's ridiculous but at the same time his shady-as-hell behavior makes it difficult.

[omgjassy]

I’m telling you now, I would had broken up with that type of secret behaviour

[Asker]

Probably will. We've been together almost 8 months - first it was with Twitter, now it's with Instagram. All the same or very similar content. Unless he's willing to show me the next time I see him then I'm packing my bags and leaving.

[omgjassy]

Good because you shouldn’t tolerate this