I’m a brunette but I actually planned on doing a balayage in blonde tomorrow and cutting off like 3 inches of my hair which is pretty long. My hair has been dyed blonde in high school I did it. I wanted to do something different so I figured I’d go back to a blonde. My boyfriend is spazzing out saying he doesn’t like blondes. Is it that serious... kind of annoyed. Wasn’t really going to tell him because I wasn’t looking for an opinion which I didn’t think he’d have one... I only did because I was asking him what shade of blonde did he like and he said none
Updates
+1 y
Alright thanks for everyone who responded didn’t think it would blow up. But I already got it put in yesterday for the first appointment.
Boyfriend is upset I want to dye hair blonde... what to do?
My opinion is an unpopular one: I believe your boyfriend is entitled to having his opinions and feelings considered when you want to make a change, just as you are entitled to him considering your opinions and feelings when he wants to make a change. You're in a relationship after-all, not single. This idea that we should love our partners (or they should love us) no matter what either of us do has always seemed childish and stupid to me. But it is also very dangerous because it sets a precedent. If you knowingly hurt his feelings now, what will stop him from knowingly hurting you back when an opportunity arises. Our actions have consequences.
Furthermore, it's silly of people to ascribe value to something for someone else. Just because I (and many other people) don't think dyeing hair is a big deal; it doesn't devalue the fact that it's important to him. He might have a reason that makes him feel so strongly about it.
I think it is worth discussing with him. Find a compromise or an equivalent exchange that leaves you both happy (maybe you dye it a colour he'd feel less strongly about, or you don't stay blond for too long, or have him offer you something you want in exchange for not making this change, etc.). I think this level of communication is important to a strong relationship.
Stop asking random people on here, rather, talk to him about it. Tell him this is what you want to do, but his opinion is important so try to find some common ground so everyone can be happy. I’m sure he loves and you love him, so don’t say something like “It’s my fucking hair, I can do whatever I want with it,” because yes you can, but is that really how you’d like to respond with when nothing is holding you back from responding in a more pleasant manner towards someone you love? Of course not. Find some common ground, convince him that it’s something you want to try and see how you like it. It’s not something like plastic surgery where something that intrusive is going to alter you in a big way; it’s just dying your hair... I’m sure if he’s a sane and reasonable person he’ll be okay with everything and all will be good. It’s all about sitting down and talking with people and being adamant about finding some common ground or position. Obviously, if you REALLY want to do what you want, NO ONE can really stop you, so just remember that. Just understand, everything has consequences.
2
2 Reply
Asker
+1 y
Well the convo would have to be tonight and it’s 11:30pm my appointment is at 9am tomorrow. I get it I will try to talk to him but I don’t want to cancel my appointment
Well, for ME, this wouldn’t be a big deal, even if I didn’t want you to be a blonde. Now, if you wanted something like facial plastic surgery or something THAT intrusive, then you better cancel that appointment and talk to me and others before you get something like that done.
I’m sure your man will be okay with it, just talk to him, be genuine and look him in the eyes and tell him it’s what you want to try for a bit. Be physical as well, touching his shoulder, hands, etc. so you know you’re on his side and it’s not a “Me versus You” battle. Give him a kiss after too, so he’ll realize that siding and supporting you on your decisions is really a beneficial and GOOD thing.
It’s your hair, if he loves you it shouldn’t be such a big deal, especially since it’s not ALL blonde and you can dye it back if you want to. tell him his opinion matters but it’s just something you want to do to change it up a little bit and hopefully he can understand. It’s not worth arguing over something so simple. Plus you can really pull it off !
The only thing I'm going to tell you is that your hair is going to be a lot dryer and it will break more easily. I used to color my hair all the time until I let i grow out to what is now my natural color gray. My hair is in so much better shape and not break off and having split ends. I started going gray back when I was 25.
Hmm, while I do agree woth others that its just hair, hair makes a person. We are used to it. It's a clear indicator. I can understand being disappointed in something your partner might change about themselves.
Ultimately you make the final decision but I'd reconsider and ask why he is so opposed to it. But try not to be too mean about it, unless he starts being unnecessarily rude.
The idea thay our partners should just accept everything we wear or change about ourselves is also rude though. However, hair color seema a bit of a silly thing to complain about. But maybe their is a legit reason he doesn't like blonde?
its your hair, you dont tell him what to do with his hair do you? im not trying to start anything but wheres the love? I don't know i find it kinda off that he said that, like your color of your hair is the only thing that matters, does that mean he is going to to stop liking you if you dye it blonde, if he wouldve said something like, "i think you look better brunette" thats different but jit said i dont like blondes, i say do it anyways and if he leaves you, that dye just saved you a whole lot of time.
0
3 Reply
Asker
+1 y
Well the convo would have to be tonight and it’s 11:30pm my appointment is at 9am tomorrow. I get it I will try to talk to him but I don’t want to cancel my appointment
like i said, get it, its like me saying, dont brush your teeth because i dont like it, its your teeth and you want to take care of them, same with your hair, you wanna take care of your hair then do it, i honestly dont see why you dying your hair a different color is a big deal, if i had a girl and she wanted to dye her hair red, i wouldn't stop her no matter how ugly i think it is because she is happy, i think thats whats important, now i might tell her my opinion if she asked but i think arguing over hair color is sorta petty.
I love the guy who said "this is simple. What's more important to you... Having blonde hair or maintaining his attraction to you?" WORST advice !! Clearly, you don't understand shit about women. The blonde hair thing will come and go, but if your argument is that changing her hair COLOR will make him lose his attraction for her, then she's BETTER OFF without his shallow ass. If he only wants her because she's a brunette, then fuck him. She's better off without him. It's HER hair, but as I said, it will come and go. If a guy is SMART, he'll support her decision and let it run its course. After it does, she'll love him even more for it.
He likes how you look now. That's a compliment. You should be able to change your hair to suit your own tastes and still have him love you, even if it's not his favourite style. We're all individuals, sometimes we have to do our own thing even in relationships.
1
1 Reply
Asker
+1 y
I know he likes how I look now in the year and a half I dated him I haven’t changed my hair I’d like to do something different for the new year.
God dying hair is not that big of a deal. In my opinion you should do what u wanna, and he’ll just have to either get used to it, or u find someone who will like u no matter ur hair color.. how ab u reverse the situation: would u care if he dyed his hair blonde/brown/ red which ever?
I think he might just see this as effort put forth to get attention other than his.
If it is... I don't think the hair color is going to stop what's going to happen much. If it isn't he might just be having a PTSD moment from a time he was dealing with compitition and you happened to have dyed hair... in which case it's up to you to show getting your hair dyed is not a tell that your seeking some strange. He'll get over it.
This is simple. Ask yourself what's more important to you? Having blonde hair or maintaining his attraction to you? If your answer is blonde hair, then you probably shouldn't be dating anyone because your mindset is self-centered and not properly oriented for living your life as a couple. If your answer is his attraction, then don't do something stupid like ignoring him and getting it dyed.
I think Dark Blonde would be great color , i don't like Bleach Blonde or White Blonde but Dark Blonde is gorgeous. But if i had a girlfriend it wouldn't matter if she wanted to dye her hair Blonde just make sure it will look good and have a professional do it for you. Best Wishes :)
I don’t like blondes either. But if I was dating someone who I liked enough to commit to, I’d just learn to like her new hair color. It’s not like our children would come out blonde. You’d still be you.
You can do whatever you want. It's not his hair. That would be like you saying he can no longer leave the house between 12 and 16 because "you don't like it when he does". If he was just saying that it probably wouldn't suit you then he was just expressing his opinion. In both cases.. do what you want
Blond go blond, especially if he's spazzing out. Since he doesn't like blonds and the nerve and no brains to tell you, at least he could have added something like. " I dont like blonds, until I pictured you being blond. Color your hair how you want it, babe." Then ( throw in some old school Fresh Prince)" Because its that smoking hot body of yours I want. Damn! Mmm. Mmmmm.,
He's really bad at understanding who you are. If you want blonde hair, you like attention. If he doesn't want you to have attention, that's something you have to decide. Which do you value more and discuss it with him
You can do what you like. But it is true that women’s hair is often a big part of her appearance and men often have very strong tastes in what they like.
1
4 Reply
Asker
+1 y
I find that petty it’s color my personality isn’t changing and it’s not like I’m getting a boob job
I'd say dye it whatever colour YOU want, not his hair, if he doesn't want hair dyed blonde then it's simple... he shouldn't dye his hair blonde... but for you though your body your rules... and blonde looks hot...
Do it for you you want or need a change with in you if it makes you happy do it and smile tell him then keep your eyes closed if he does not like. I can tell u right now become blond. And he will become blonde lover
@ohshee You make it seem like that if a women dyea her hair a color that the person she is with says they do nut like does not mean that person in thus case her boyfriend will like it just because it is on his girlfriend.
I’d say the darker looks better although if you want the blonde you should go for the blonde. His opinion matters as he’s your boyfriend but ultimately it’s your hair and you’re the one who chooses its style.
Most Helpful Opinions