I recently moved in with my boyfriend. Do you think it's appropriate for me to go on an upcoming family trip?

[Anonymous]

Background info: a few months ago I moved across the country with my boyfriend of 3 years. I'm finishing up a course for my undergrad and he got a job out here so we decided to move together.

Fast forward to now: living together has been pretty good! It obviously has it's ups and downs but for the most part, we've been enjoying it. Just before we moved here, I did a big family trip to Europe (without him) for 2 weeks and it was amazing. Then after we moved in September, he had to go on a work trip and went like 2 days earlier than he needed to be there. My parents really miss me so they offered to fly me home for the week that he was gone. When I told him about it, he had a bit of an issue with it. He wanted to know why I wasn't staying here working on school and said it feels like I keep running away from our new move. Eventually after talking about it, he admitted he was in the wrong which I appreciated. Then we went home for Christmas and I wanted to stay for as long as possible because I'm not working right now. We enjoyed our time at home and then flew back together.

In a month, his family is coming here to visit and they are taking him and staying somewhere so they can go skiing. I'm not invited which is completely fine and he let me know after the trip was booked. My parents are coming too in February but we're all going to do things together while they're here.

This morning my parents called to tell me they booked a trip with family friends and want me to come with them (without my bf). I haven't had the conversation yet but I feel like he's not going to want me to leave for a week. The trip is supposed to be a few weeks after my final exam. I really want to go but don't want the conversation not to go well. He doesn't have a problem with my family at all but I feel like he'll be bothered that I'm going without him. What do you all think of this?

Thanks for reading all of this! Just wanted to give lots of background info.

[Anonymous]

Right from the day I moved in with my boyfriend, we have been an inseperable item. He is part of my family. I am part of his. Been like that over 3 years.

Until you two can be the same, you run the risk of rows, and even breaking up. Living together, you both need to put the relationship first. If there is an invite, it includes my boyfriend. If it doesn't include him, I just don't go. We will do something else together, as just the two of us.

[rockrewls]

It's only a week if he is reasonable, why wouldn't he let you go with your family?

[Asker]

agreed! we haven't even discussed it yet but i think i'd feel bad leaving him here alone for a week? not sure why

[rockrewls]

lol my father would go away all winter for work we might see him once or twice per winter that would be it.
a week is nothing, it will fly by just enjoy yourself with your family.

[Asker]

wow that's a long time! you're right, thanks :)

[rockrewls]

You are welcome, have fun :)

[Avicenna]

If you are living together, then yes

[Asker]

yes it's appropriate for me to go without him?

[Anonymous]

I think it's wrong that you moved in. That's what I think

[Asker]

thanks for your input! why do you think so?

[Opinion Owner]

Living with someone of the opposite sex, unmarried? THIS ISN'T THE 90'S!

[Asker]

hahaha are you for real right now?

[Opinion Owner]

Yeah

[Asker]

well i don't think it's wrong so not a problem for me :)

[deryn]

Yes.