Guys, will you be mad because your girlfriend said there're other guys better than you?

[Anonymous]

it wasn't that I stupidly went to tell my boyfriend that "oh I know some guys they have better job than you do and they are good looking as well... blablabla", it was my boyfriend always likes to tell me that he is the best guy I know and if I lost him I'm not going to find anyone better than him. I always thought he was making jokes until yesterday he again kept telling me this "he is the best" thing so I said "no, I do know some guys they are quite good as well", and he wanted me to show him who are those guys, he kept asking so I did show him one, and the he got pissed off... very angry with me now...

I understand that what I did might really hurt him but I didn't do it intentionally... it was him kept claiming that he's the best. My boyfriend is smart and good looking and he has a high paid job and I am comparably normal, not even as excellent and pretty as his ex gfs. but I don't care and I don't think I have to be "best" of those qualities to be liked and so does he. I like him not because of those conditions but the whole atmosphere and chemistry we had, I mean, I'm not going to leave him if he isn't good looking anymore. (but maybe because he has good appearance so he cares about it very much?)

Anyway, maybe I should not have shown him anyone even it was him asked for it. If I choose again I would never do that, but I don't understand how guys think, I mean, my boyfriend likes to show me pretty girls as well, I don't feel that angry, is his reaction normal?

[chadpattan]

The best thing you can do to a guy is stroke his ego.
The worst thing you can do to a guy is stroke his ego.

Reminds me of a girl I was pseudo-dating, back when I was not sexually active, who told me that some idiot she couldn't stand gave her the best sex of her life "he worked {her} out, nearly killed {her}".

I'm not sure why it even comes up in conversation either way. Like David Ruffin said, "the past is never forgotten. It merely takes its place in empty space of each yesterday."

[gagsucs]

no, i would jus be sad,
not because im a sissy or a push over, or a beta male, but jus because im realistic and know that there's better guys than me,
im not egotisistical and i know im not the best, so it would jus upset me to hear those facts being told by her,... thats why i wouldn't be walking around telling her im the best in the first place

[gagsucs]

also what would be the point of getting mad about it?

[Unit1]

How to not be at least a tiny little bit mad after being told that? I'd tell her "Then stop wasting my time and go date them. We are over! Goodbye!"

I suggest you do the same if he is that abusive.

[Asker]

Are you being ironic? I really don’t know how to do now:(

[Unit1]

Now, now.

"no, I do know some guys they are quite good as well"

There is absolutely NO harm in this at all. You did *not* tell him, that these guys are upgrades. You told him, that these guys are good too. He is obviously not 'the only good one' out there. If he gets offended by something as harmless as this, then most likely he's an insecure egoistical crybaby, who you should better leave. He as serious hidden problems.

You'll do yourself a favor in the end. He's not that good after all.

[Unit1]

Lastly, you have chosen him of all and you are sticking by his side, so there's really no need to worry.
Yet he gets PISSED. Are you willing to deal with a volatile psychopath like that? I know I don't.

[Asker]

yeah I agree with you just everyone has their shortcomings, seems like there will be other problems if I leave and meet someone else, and in the beginning I thought he's very humble. we have been together for one year and I didn't know this side of him until now... sigh

[Unit1]

Pretty much. Make sure your own safety isn't being violated. And don't expect psychopaths to change.

I have seen this first hand as an observant and as a co-affected child and it gets really, REALLY ugly. And nasty. In other words - even if you are suicidal whatever you do, don't commit such a slow suicide by marrying a psychopath. The damages are scarring! Some things never change.

They'll Surface in time and you can see it yourself.

[RoastedCharms]

Is being around an egotistical person like this, really what you want?
Also of course he is going to get mad. It's the equivalent of him showing girls he thinks are hotter than you.

[Asker]

That's true. if he showed me someone he knows and. tell me she's hot, I would be very angry. but that's because he asked! and I was stupid enough to do exactly he asked me to do=.=

[onefatfranm]

How would you feel if he told you there were better girls then you and started pointing them out. as a partner its good to feel like im the best person for the job of being their partner and not already considering who you'd think would do better. Cold very cold lady

[Asker]

okay. let me clarify this. let me know if you feel I'm looking for excuse. he told me that I don't know anyone better than him in appearance, job, sense, and dress up. but I really do. like I would never think he doesn't know any girl that's prettier than me. That's just not possible. my point of view is that he doesn't need to be the best for me to love him, and I love him not because of those conditions. but yeah that would hurt him, and I know him so well, I should not have done this.

[JamesRandiDebates]

All women pull that shit. It doesn't matter how great their current man is, You will always think of one thing that a previous guy Was better in then rub it in your current guy's face. Maybe a guy with a bigger dick, better car, better job. And you will use that to try to destroy your current man's self-esteem.

[BestUserName100]

If it were me? Yeah I'd be completely heart broken.

[Asker]

yeah, I didn't realize that's so important to a guy:((( don't know how to make him feel better, I did apologize and I said I'm not interested in any other guys... he's still angry with me..

[BestUserName100]

So he was saying he is the best thing to happen to you or whatever it was he was saying... And you are testing his dominance and questioning it. That's like the opposite probably of what he wanted to hear. Guys like to feel like they are wanted/needed. It's not to say he is not in the wrong either. He shouldn't have put you in that situation to begin with should he. He shouldn't really be saying that he is the best you could ever do. That's hurtful as f too. I don't know if that was his intention either. To make it sound like that. Who knows.. Keep backup plans in case it don't work with them is about all you can do sometimes.

[BestUserName100]

Guys don't like it when you offend their masculinity or whatever.

[BestUserName100]

*too

[Asker]

yeah I think he works very hard and he thinks himself very good and I am that lucky girl to have him. it was me being stupid trying to think this "is he the best" question in an objective way...

[Asker]

but he sometimes would show me some hot girl's picture, I didn't get mad. but I showed him someone I know, so maybe that really hurts.

[BestUserName100]

Yep makes sense. Just next time you could go along with it or whatever reaction he's looking for. It's not healthy tho to act that way. He shouldn't be saying that either really. He'd have to actually want to change tho and try don't know if he'd be willing lol.

[BestUserName100]

Hmm maybe also at the time they might have been in that deciding phase where they were deciding wether or not if you were the right one. Just because they think they could do better doesn't really mean anything. Sure they could so could also you probably. That doesn't necessarily mean that in would be anything more then a one night stand. What I always tell myself is is to find someone who you are first attracted to looks wise, then has a personality and everything you like. Then after that to stop the search because what else could you want right. Some people I think might like sleeping around just not my thing I guess. And so on.

[BestUserName100]

My point is they shouldn't stay that way and should eventually change that.

[Surely]

It probably wouldn't bother me, cause I know that there are people better than I in some things.
Depending on how this conversation was brought up,
I might just tell you to go be with them.

[Asker]

But I told him that they are just have nice job as he does. And it doesn’t matter to me. Even if he’s not good looking or he lost his job, I would still love him. I am not with him because of those conditions and I’m not looking the most handsome or rich guy in the world. Do you get my point or it’s so hard for guys to understand?

[Surely]

Ok, Let's try this.
He might have an ego problem or just feels insecure in the relationship. Knowing that there are better looking guys who make more money etc etc etc..
He may have been looking for you to boost his pride and ego, but you took it wrong.
Maybe you need to hit the reset button and start over if you care for him as much as you say.

[MannMitAntworten]

The whole thing with him demonstrates an insecure controlling behavior. You jet experienced the early signs. It gets worse moving forward...

[bklynbadboy1]

Wow if I was him I'd be pissed I would've told you then what are you doing with me go be with all those guys that you think are better than me

[Asker]

But I told him that they are just have nice job as he does. And it doesn’t matter to me. Even if he’s not good looking or he lost his job, I would still love him. I am not with him because of those conditions and I’m not looking the most handsome or rich guy in the world. Do you get my point or it’s so hard for guys to understand?

[bklynbadboy1]

Whay did he say when you told him that

[Asker]

that's obviously not what he wants to hear... seems he doesn't care at all. he just told me "we're not talking about this (about I don't care those conditions)". and it has been a week, he's still mad. I think it could be bigger problem in near future.

[bklynbadboy1]

Thanks for the MHO

[Browneye57]

Oh dear... I see this going nowhere fast. A match made in heaven.

[Nahid1707]

Did you and your partner argue? You didn’t mean it in a rude way

[Asker]

I did. I said I like him not because of those conditions. And I just wanted to be fair, how could a person thinks himself better than so many people, that's just not possible.

[Nahid1707]

I’m sorry 😕

[Liam_Hayden]

He created unnecessary drama and is now upset about it.

[Dchrls78104]

Yes; I'd tell her, "Then go and find one!"

[Asker]

That’s exactly what he told me. But guys, what I don’t understand is that how would one human ever thought he’s the best in the world? He’s the best for me, but I know he’s definitely not the best for everybody. No one is perfect for everyone. That’s just not possible. I was trying to be objective. If you understand my point of view, will you still be so mad?

[Dchrls78104]

If you say he's the best for you, then you'll have to prove it to him by how you treat him day by day, not by saying things like that. You just don't tell western men those things these days.

[Plitty-Tank]

I'd tell her to go be with them then.

[Asker]

But I told him that they are just have nice job as he does. And it doesn’t matter to me. Even if he’s not good looking or he lost his job, I would still love him. I am not with him because of those conditions and I’m not looking the most handsome or rich guy in the world. Do you get my point or it’s so hard for guys to understand?

[open4funn]

Sometimes it's best to not go there.

[Asker]

yeah I guess I just don't understand guys...

[open4funn]

That goes both ways. Lol