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Why does my girlfriend's past bother me so much? (Page 2)
Anonymous
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Why are you dating a slut?
I'm of the opinion that both people should hold out for the right partner and get married.
But if you're actually going to date a slut seriously... treat her like one. She doesn't respect herself so why should anyone else, and when you're done drop her.
I really don't like mentality but you're going to get screwed unless you find a decent girl or least to be just as shitty as her. It's really sad.
So she likes sex.
How is that a problem?
I would prefer a woman who enjoyed/wanted the D to one who was frigid and only pretended to like sex... until she had you hooked legally.
Be sure to have each other tested for STDs, especially chlamydia.
Stop worrying about something that you can’t change.
She chose you to be with, so focus on making this a positive relationship rather than fixating on the negative.
Her past is her business, not yours, so if you want to be with her, don’t ruin it by worrying about something that you can’t change
Why are you dating her if she disgusts you? Break up. Find someone like you. Let her find someone who will love her as she is.
What’s the logic of the men who disagree with this? Be with the woman and torture her about her past which she can’t change? Jeez.
It just makes you a normal guy. Every guy who is not completely fucking retarded is bothered by stuff like this, and no intelligent guy would ever enter a relationship with a slut. Even though you may not feel like it now, your best call is to break up with her
No slut ever made a good girlfriend/wife/mother/anything.
This is true, it's in men's nature to be bothered by stuff like this, it's biology, not being bothered by it makes you less of a man.
Sadly, men are getting less and less manly these days, but hey, gives more room for us better men to get what we want right?
Ok I understand how you feel because if my boyfriend slept around like that I’d be SOOO annoyed by it. Like he’s done other stuff with a lot of girls not even sex and it still really annoys me. I’m gonna be real with you, you either have to put her past behind you or break up with her. If you leave this unresolved you’ll either be bothered by it or hopefully you won’t care about it anymore..
Ahem John Green. Thank you for your time.
Love John Green
Improper analogue and circular logic and to quoque logical fallacies. His premise is his evidence, its wrong to judge a person on their past because its wrong, that's not a rational argument. Also its completely inaccurate as we have studied this quite a bit and we know for a fact that casual sex has a negative impact. We know it increases the probability of cheating, divorce, unhappiness in long term relationships, dissatisfaction with sex, increased rates of single motherhood (which comes with its own host of issues), increased rates of anxiety and depression.
As for the standards of men, no actually we don't, women don't generally want men who sleep around either but ironically they hate virgin men more and as such any "double standard" is self inflicted by women. Also ignoring that, it doesn't mean that its okay to sleep around for them either, that's like saying that because another person did something wrong its okay for you to do something wrong, that's not a logical argument.
Yeah uh... I love John Green but 1) his analogy isn't... relevant or logical-- sex is sex and nothing else is sex, only sex is sex, so comparing it to Cheerios is pretty dumb, and 2) males and females are different. He can get annoyed that males and females are held to different sexual standards if he chooses to, but most people (especially most males) don't feel that way, and if they tell you they do, they're lying to you.
Text is too small to read.
@Miristheiss I think you can tap it to read it
Still small on phone.
Probably have to be on computer.
Prepare for all the dumbasses who are gonna call you an "insecure jealous loser incel who's bad in bed".
Ignore them, it's totally fine to feel this way, but her past is really non of your business, your best bet is leaving the relationship because you both are clearly different, neither side is wrong or right, so there's no way for it to work unless you change that thing about you (which I highly advise you DO NOT change, find someone like you who thinks the same)
Guys that usually think like this... are guys who don’t have much of a “sexual past” themselves.
Most guys that have a decent amount of past sexual experience, don’t feel this way about their gal having a “promiscuous past”.
Could there be a big difference in her sexuality then vs now? Is she still down for anything, or does she act like she's not very sexual now?
A lot of women start acting all prim and proper when they "settle down" because they only "settled down" to have financial security.
Was she promiscuous in every orifice or just in the mouth & sniz? Because if the latter is only true, just utilize her anus from now on. :) Problem solved?
I think you're just dealing with your own insecurities in the relationship, which is totally okay as long as you acknowledge that they're there and have the willingness to move past them. What your girlfriend has done in the past has nothing to do with you, she's choosing to be with you at the end of the day and that's all that matters. If she wanted to back to that past she would, but she wants you so you just need to focus on yourself and work past second guessing yourself.
Take it from me her life before she met you doesn't matter that's stuff that happened way before you two knew each other what happens when y'all two started dating onward is the only thing that counts other wise you get paranoid and lose that person I've seen it to many times
Maybe because you're feeling a little insecure? I don't know you so it really depends if she's shared all of her story with you. Some people just like sex, some more so than others and as women it's not really seen as a double standard. Where a man will be seen as being a lad for being promiscuous, women will b seen as being grade A easy. I think you should talk to her and let her know. It's the adult thing to do, could u maybe offer me some advice on my post?
It could be that he's worried that there may be more to her past that she hasn't told him? These types never tell 100% of what they've done for this exact reason lol. Or all the bad decisions she's made in life makes him see her differently? Imagining your loved one, swallowing cum on 20 different occasions with 20 different guys does something to your opinion of them. It doesn't AUTOMATICALLY become about his inadequacy. I would say that's the 3rd option in line for the uneasy feeling he's getting.
@LVbrando85 Yeah I agree. But he does need to talk to her if it's something that his not comfortable with otherwise it'll just eat him alive x
@Lovequinnsalinger yeah unfortunately he'll need to decide if he loves her enough to get over it or move on. You have to have mutual respect for your spouse. Otherwise its bound to fail.
- I like your vibe by the way lol. I'm gonna follow you. You should follow me back lol.
@LVbrando85 Haha yeah I will do ha I also have a question on my page ha could u help me out by leaving ur thoughts? x
Sure! I'll check it out!
Relax life is short, a lot of girls be in gangbangs, trains, Mandingo parties, orgies, etc. Hell some of people mother's were once free subscription pornstars, no camera need, the world may never know. People tend to be like squirrels on Viagra in their youth. Than you hit 30 than realize, maybe I don't need all this nuts, But the past is the past, don't over think it, you'll end putting yourself in a very sticky unpleasant situation and state of mind
Dude if she was a skank, I don't blame you for being disgusted.
She shouldn't just get to wipe her past clean simply because she is now realizing she can't get by on her looks anymore and wants to settle down.
Actions have consequences and she made hers.
I don't date garbage and I would never keep a female who used to be a cum sponge, it shows her nature.
That would bother most normal men, it bothers you because you know it could happen again while she is with you. You wonder if she has changed, well a leopard cannot change its spots. My ex-wife was very similar, she left her ex-husband before me cheating and she left me after cheating.
If she’s an older woman, that’s just something you will either have to accept or break up with her and move on. A lot of older woman have tons and tons of baggage and it sounds like her baggage is centered around her sex life
If you know the past you know the tendency for the future. I guess this bothers you.
You should adjust your expectations
is your expectation of a girlfriend to be someone who is not involved in casual sex?
if it is then of course it bother u