Boyfriend wants to hide from me from his ex? What should I do? (Page 2)
Click "Show More" for your mentions
Most Helpful Opinion(mho) Rate.
Learn more
Learn more
We're glad to see you liked this post.
You can also add your opinion below!
You can also add your opinion below!
What Girls & Guys Said
Opinion
93Opinion
It wouldn't be disrespectful to her if he told her about you. It's disrespectful to you that he doesn't tell her about you (if there's "nothing to worry about"). If he's going to tell her soon, why not tell her now! But sometimes boys aren't always honest with their girlfriends. That's why I recommend reading "Woman to Women" (free from kobo books). It's a fast read but it's full of very interesting insights into a man's intentions. You might find you can relate - the way you're being treated by your "boyfriend".
Don't be surprised, hon, if he is cheating. Good luck with this one.
I'm afraid it sounds very much like he is more focused on her than you. If he isn't sleeping with her already, he wants to, and is making sure his relationship with you doesn't interfere with his chances.
My guess though is that he is playing you both.
Your options are limited. Insist that he treat you as a proper girlfriend in her presence. Should he refuse, you have to end it
Thank you
Just got out of an almost relationship exactly like this. I am the ex and we broke up right before Christmas. She blocked me on social media for a couple of weeks but when I friended her again there were some “missing” posts I only just found out this last week. We hung out all the time and I ask her out all the time but she said we’ll take it slow so we were just going to parks and stuff. We would text every day and everything. Out of nowhere a guy messages me saying to stay away from his girlfriend. I saw on his profile and they were a couple since right after we broke up. The worst part is our mutual friends knew and didn’t tell me.
I’d of loved to know she wasn’t single so I wouldn’t put so much effort and time. I’d rather know and move on than be what we were.
This is painful to share but I hope this helps
There might be a good reason for it..
Let me give you an example from my own life. My ex was violent in the extreme. She is the reason i have scars on my face. I am genuinely afraid of her. I changed my name and moved cities because of her.. I DEFINITELY hid my wife from her.. She threatened me, her, her family.. the works.. So yeah there might be a good reason..
In your situation i do not know why he does that.
nice to see a different opinion. It's horrible what happened to you, no one deserves that Im so sorry. :(
I don't think she is a threat. All i know is she talked behind my back a few times. But that doesn't make my boyfriend right. He shouldn't be seeing someone that says bad things about me
No kidding I agree
He will have to trust you. If he is hiding you. You will have to give him a chance to explain. You should casually ask for an explanation.
You will have to ask him point blank if he is cheating on you. You will know from his answer. If his first response is don't be ridiculous, are you serious right now. He might be cheating but if he starts by saying no in a smooth voice then he is not lying. You will know your man more than myself you will know. Listen to his tone. Good luck
Our relantionship lacks of trust. This is the biggest problem. Whenever i talk about his mistakes he shuts me down by reminding me “mine are bigger” and brings up the past
Trust is the Pinnacle to every relationship. If you lack that you never love each other. I guess you and him are attractive and it's all about sex. That's not enough. You need love and making love is not the same thing. You will have to leave him. One other thing, he wouldn't know your value until he's lost you. At least you ask him. Another girl might just be as cold as he is and he won't like that
Thank you so much for your response. He broke up with me 2 times because of the trust issues but we got back together each time. It seems we are bad for eachother but also can't stay away. He has feelings for me but his feelings and his logic conflict. His feelings say he loves me , his logic says im untrustworthy, same for me too. Thats why our relationship is sick. I always walk soft on him try to help but he refuses therapy saying im the problematic one
It's fine. Make sure you don't have his child cos he will leave you to fend your child alone be careful on that. You also need to strong. There's a guy out there who will make you feel so much better.
Two is company and three is a crowd.
He apparently wants to keep his options open with BOTH of you.
You SHOULD be "so NOT okay with that".
Eventually he will have to choose - her or you.
Unless if you leave now and find someone who gives you the attention and focus you deserve- one on one! :- )
Yes, he really needs to pick one. Or the asker should pick someone else!
Um... Simply put, you're not being respected here. And you're definitely not on top of his priority list. Take a stand. That ex knows about you or you walk away🤷
That’s the right thing to do thank you!!
Tell him what your expectations are. Some people will try to get away with as much as they can if you let them.
Can you explain more detailed?
I mean that you tell him what you want here. What he is doing is unreasonable and inexcusable.
Girl move on. dump this confused chap who doesn't know how to maintain boundaries. she should respect u and respect your relationship with him. if he can't tell about ur relationship with him, y r u wd him. find someone who is proud of u. leave him. dont waste ur time with him. let him be with that girl. dont be a part of their mess. u ll find someone better
Leave him as soon as possible. The longer u stay with him , the more u ll hurt yourself
He says he loves me and told me ”to not insist, everything has a reason” but he can’t give me a reasonable and clear answer... I know this is toxic but my feelings are coming stronger than my sense when it comes to him. Im too attached and dont have to guts to leave a “habit”. I always try to believe he can be “fixed”
Then girl, be ready to get hurt everyday.
I think he’s playing both of you. He says it’s disrespectful to her to tell her about you. It’s more disrespectful to YOU to hide you from her. He’s openly in a relationship with both of you and you’re letting it happen. So I would run as fast as I could if I were you.
it means that he doesn't want you to be officially seen as his girlfriend in front of everyone in his life. if he doesn't want to introduce you to his friends, then it very well also means you will never see his parents. dump him. Chances are he's just using you or you're just the second option for him.
I don't know why you are tolerating this bs. Because it looks like he and she are in a relationship while you are the third party.
I think the truth is that he and she got back together. You mentioned that you feel like you are the third party because you are.
However, he didn't tell you that because he was afraid that you will leave him. So, he lied to you instead, saying that you and him are now a couple instead, while cheating on his real girlfriend.
Have some dignity and just leave.
Red Flags keeping ex close is never good. Its like your a side piece to be honest. If he truelly loves you he doesn't need her in his life. Exs dont need to be in any current relationships. Make it clear your unconfortable with it. If he can't accept that Think its best to leave him.
It sounds like you're a backup girl or a lever to make the other chick standing in the row. Such "relationships" without any obligations develop often that way.
Option 1: you find another guy and you play the same game with him
Option 2: you make him clear I or she and you go away if doesn't want to make a choice.
Option 3: you forget him and you look for someone else.
Option 3
Option 1 should never exist. People who play games shouldn’t be in a relationship in the first place.
He either makes it clear what his status is or YOU will. If there's a disagreement, you should reconsider this relationship, since it doesn't seem like he moved on yet
They dated for only a month and he was the one that broke up with her. She begged for months and he refused. He says she is a good friend and he loves her as a friend now. I don’t get it...
Hello dear, when someone hides a topic from you it can be for two purposes: firstly it is embarrassing to talk about it and secondly it is afraid that it will lose you by saying it. . The best way is to look at your boyfriend now how he is with you, what is past is past.
What do you mean “will lose me by saying”?
Why would he be embaressed also can you explain it
I mean, even though your boyfriend knows he's doing something wrong, but you're still his favorite, you have points that he can't ignore and flaws that make him look for others, Increase your strengths and reduce your weaknesses to keep him in shape so you'll have him even more than before.
Thanks
🙏🙏
I think he still has feelings for her and he treats you like a second option or a backup plan and also he doesn't wants her to know about your relationship that's a clear indication. I won't say that he is cheating another girl but i would say he is cheating you only just to get her back and i think you should tell her about your relationship as soon as possible then you will be able see a clear picture
He loves her and cares about her but not in a romantically way he says. He could have been with her if he wanted to. Why waste his time with me? He was the one that broke up with her and they dated for a very short time. She begged for months and he refused and we had a thing that time. Im confused
A lot of those things you said I cannot allow if I was in your situation. Although I have to wonder, if you're in the same circle, are you and the girl also friends?
We use to have smaii talks. Just that. She was chasing him last year. She didn't treat me bad but she was insincere and i know she talked behind my back a few times
Ahh then you weren't exactly friends. Do your other friends know that you and your boyfriend are a thing?
For mine, yes. My boyfriends friends? I don’t know if all of them know. He says all of them one except that 1 person but honestly I guess just his close friends know..
That sounds shady.. Everything you've mentioned so far screams red flags 🙈
He is still in love with that girl. There are two options.
1. They didn't ever break up and you're his side chick, then obviously you MUST remain a secret.
2. He wants to get back together with her. If so, if she knows of you two it may ruin his possibilities.
One thing is sure: She is his priority. Regardless of what options ends up being the real, just get out and look for a guy that really loves you.
so many options...
1. dump him
2. confront him and dump him
3. kill the other bitch and dump him
4. wrap a potato sack around both they're heads and have some thugs beat the shit outta them and uh DUMP him (but make sure neiter of them know you were behind the thugs