How can I trust more/not let my anxiety get in the way?

[Anonymous]

So me and my partner (female but she is non bio but goes by he/she/they, doesn’t matter, And she is more masculine and has kinda a guy’s mindset sometimes) we broke up and rn have established we both want/see a future together and are still in love and are going to stay faithful to each other romantically even if we aren’t together, we are basically talking rn, just right now isn’t the best moment to focus on a relationship, we both have key issues we need to work on.
I had very bad trust issues and communication issues due to past abusive and manipulative relationships and was constantly cheated on. I feel trust for her and know my “suspicions” are just in my head and I tell myself that, I used to be passive about it and it caused our relationship to be toxic (hence the breakup) I was possessive and made her feel like she couldn’t be her own person, I messed up, I learned, I’m trying to get better, I know she is not my exes and I’ve realized that, but for no reason I still get a sense of anxiety even though I trust her and tell myself “it’s all in your head, she isn’t them and isn’t like that” what can I do?

[Avicenna]

Sounds like you could benefit ftom counselling

[Asker]

I would love counseling and medication for my issues but I’m scared once my Medicaid runs out I’ll no longer have the medicine once I’m dependent on it, but that also may be my anxiety talking