My parents say that cuddling this way with my boyfriend is bad but I don’t get how it’s wrong and I want to keep doing it?

[Collegegurljay]

Yesterday I was wearing shorts and cuddled with my boyfriend like in the pictures and we were sharing a blanket I just feel the most comfortable this way. We were lying together like this but his private part was away from my butt and he just held me tight and we kissed we have never done anything sexual before and he’s very respectful towards me. We’ve been together for almost two months is it too soon to cuddle like this? I thought that it was okay can someone explain? I want to keep cuddling like this. Do you think that maybe my boyfriend thought that I wanted sex because I told him to lie down like that?

Updates

+1 y

Would he think I’m easy?

[0112358]

I’d suggest you ignore the 40 year old virgins here. Your boyfriend knows damn well you’re not easy and he knows you weren’t suggesting sex. I’m sure he also enjoys affection.

yes hugging like that is both affectionate and potentially arousing for a couple who are attracted to each other.

you’re probably reaching a point where you may not want your parents blessing on everything. Are you going to check with them in a year when you might want to have sex which positions are okay? What about some time between now and then if it was too soon to give a bj? Those aren’t normal conversations to have with them. Neither is whether you’re cuddling turned into a little bit of grinding or not.

so stay out of trouble with your parents but realize their decisions aren’t yours.

your boyfriend knows you’re not easy.

in all of this what you need to get MUCH better at is deciding “what does Jay want?” And communicating it to your boyfriend, who thus far has shown himself very happy to listen to what you want. Ok you like cuddling now and sex not for a bunch of months. There are still a whole lot of “how about this” and it’s not even a one time conversation. These are conversations you’re going to have the rest of your life... “are you okay with this? Can we try that? Are you in the mood for this now? Maybe later or not today?” The more you talk to your boyfriend the easier taking gets and the less if a big deal each conversation is. Right now you’re acting like the slight wrong type of cuddling means sex or not. There’s WAY more possible stops along the way then that. And if you just say “no” to anything because you’re afraid it leads to sex you will never actually feel ready for sex. You need to get confident you can take small steps forward and then speak up and say “that’s as far as I want to go today” and your boyfriend will listen. I think he will. But you’re not confident yet.

[VIVANT]

I agree 💯 on every single point and there are many. I suggest reading it through a couple of times to ensure you don’t miss a thing!

This is brilliant advice and within the context of you and your boyfriend , I don’t think any words will ever be truer.. it’s not a one off. You can continue to reapply it As needed as the relationship changes and progresses..

This is advice you can definitely rely on. I am telling you this based on my own real experience. It is golden 🌟

[PrudentGuy]

You're already of age. The question now is Are you ready to have sex?

Think about your emotional need vs his physical needs.

Yes, us guys are easy. We just want sex. Any vagina will do.

But you need to feel right and ready, especially you need to trust him and feel connected. Are you?

My suggestions:

1) learn to "feel good" about sex. No, sex is not dirty. It's the most beautiful expression of love, if you're in love. (Fuck the social stigma that sex is dirty. Its 2020, not 1920!)

2) take it slow, set boundaries now, and adjust according to your deepening relationship with him.

And tell him, openly and honestly.

Hence if you just want to cuddle, naked or otherwise but no sex yet, then tell him directly, like "I just want to cuddle, and if you like to, naked. No sex yet."

Get my point?

3) know that guys want sex. Most can wait, but not until after marriage.

So as time passes, he will ask for it. Give him a concrete answer.

E. g. "I hope we can do it in a resort (name it) and have it... (short details) ..."

Yes, when money is involved, it means saving for it. This gives you both time and opportunity to save up and plan for it, thus making your first time with him special.

The rest is both your fantasies, including lingerie, settings, positions, contraceptives, etc.

And since you have an entire day until the next in a resort hotel, you may like to plan for a few sessions.

Hence my opinion is, embrace your sexuality and open up your sexual hunger. Take all the time you need but recognize his needs. Plan well and set boundaries. Communicate like adults. Its your sex life. Not others. Listen to others opinions but make your own decision. Then live by it and don't regret.

[Collegegurljay]

Not right now does this lead to sex?

[PrudentGuy]

Journey to sex life is part of your life's journey.

Like a plant growing from shoot to flowering then fruiting, you cannot rush.

Any attempt to pull the plant to make it looks taller will only result in killing it.

Hence enjoy your youth sex-free. Then the day will come where you will say, "I'm ready". Wait for that day patiently and not allow yourself to be "pulled" to look "taller".

[Collegegurljay]

I will

[chriss]

2 months is not too soon to cuddle I find. This is what relationship are about, cuddling and showing affection or else you are just a friend. You don't have to have sex but cuddling and showing affection is important. You did nothing wrong.

[chriss]

For your updated question, too easy is right away, its 2 months now so as the months go by its less easy

[Splintercell]

Have you asked your parents why? Then ask how do you mean? Cuddling can lead to sexual intimacy. How serious are you two? What is your/his goal for this relationship?

[Collegegurljay]

I just want to grow old with him I’m not ready for sex yet

[Splintercell]

Your plans are marriage?

[Collegegurljay]

In the future yeah but I want to date like for like almost a year before having sex

[Splintercell]

If you two are serious about the relationship. I would recommend for the both of you to read “the sacred search”. When I was in a relationship, we read the book and it challenged us in a good way.

[Collegegurljay]

Thanks sounds cool

[iOoko]

because if he has an erection it will push you off the bed and you might hit your head. i'm not saying you can't do it. just be responsible while in bed and use protection

[Iron_Man]

They don't like it, It's their house their rules

[Collegegurljay]

I know but we’re not having sex. Our relationship is very sweet and I am innocent. Do you think that maybe he thought that I was easy or something?

[Collegegurljay]

What do guys think when a girl tells them that they want to lie down on the couch?

[Collegegurljay]

Is this wrong?

[Iron_Man]

No they think that's the build-up leading to sex in the future that's why they don't like it. And if you can get that close with each other where you're both pretty comfortable with each other the next level is on the way pretty soon

[Collegegurljay]

Oh my god I did not know that okay I’ll just sit up

[Iron_Man]

I think she's getting pretty ambarus and she's ready to go for it sooner or later

[Iron_Man]

Great idea

[Collegegurljay]

A movie was talking about weed condoms and he said imma need to wear one so maybe he thinks I’m horny or something? omg

[Iron_Man]

Well now you know. Keep your virginity

[Collegegurljay]

So now he thinks I’m easy? I feel embarrassed

[Iron_Man]

Not necessarily but you never know

[Caroline91]

@collegegurljay I think this is a really astute observation from @Iron_Man. I just want to comment that it doesn't mean that either of you are "easy", but you are putting yourself in a situation where doing the deed could become easy. Women have to be aware that what may seem "innocent" to us could be a major turn on for a man. And, frankly, a major turn on for you, too. So, be careful if you're not ready to have sex yet not to make it too difficult for him not to. Also, don't just let it happen, which is so easy to end up doing because you really do need to make sure that birth control is taken care of. It only takes once to make a baby. His penis doesn't even have to make it inside your vagina for that to happen. I think you parents probably don't like seeing their "little girl" in a comfortable, fairly intimate contact with her boyfriend. It can be difficult for parents to think of their kids, especially daughters, as sexually mature so that might help you to at least understand their perspective. But you will make your own decision about when you are ready, whether that's before or after marriage. It's wonderful that you two are keeping communication open about things. That's an important skill to develop in any relationship.

[7771999]

That isn't bad 😂 wtf

[7771999]

I think most guys are easily horny. But if he truly loves you, he doesn't think about it a lot.

[Collegegurljay]

Well I’m the movie we were watching they were talking about weed condoms and he commented saying that he might need one I don’t know why he said that

[7771999]

Lol. That's kind of weird

But I guess he was just trying to be funny.

[Anonymous]

they just don't want you to get pregnant lol

[Collegegurljay]

But I’ve never had sex in my life and I’m not ready yet?

[Opinion Owner]

you have a boyfriend you will have sex eventually
my advice take your time

[smb930]

That's just how parents are.

[iFarted]

Well, often spooning leads to forking sooo

[BillysBabe]

It's fine

[Anonymous]

GO FUCK YOURSELF