Why do some people think seeing and talking to your crush/partner daily is a bad thing?

Question

Do you not realize that once you live together, you're gonna have to see em abd talk at least once a day anyways? Or did you just assume y'all are supposed to chat a few days week until you reach that “move in” point? by the way This isn't about me. Its just a general question after something i saw on GAG. #FeelFreeToList #TalkThatTalk #ComeAndSeeMe

flamiE · Accepted Answer

I personally like to see them more often, if not daily at least 3-4 times a week. But from what I understand from people who tend to be very detached from their partner, one thing is they want to have their own life, they don’t want to make their partner a priority.
Another thing is that they’re too afraid to let them close enough to make them a part of their life just so if they broke up it won’t take them that long to get back to normal.
And three they intentionally do it because they’d eventually get married and wake up to them every day and do everything together so why start from the beginning of the relationship.
While I’m all about balance and even if I’m married I’d still need my me time and respectively give my partner his time with the boys, some people see it as the end of their freedom so they try to live life to the fullest while things are not serious.

GlitterFairy16 · Accepted Answer

Me and my boyfriend talk everyday and spend most are time together. People call us clingy and tell us the honeymoon phase will die out soon. Its almost a year we've been together and we still can't get enough of each other and when were away from each other i miss him like crazy. I don't think that's clingy i just think that's finding ture love

Finchie40 · Accepted Answer

I don’t see it as a bad thing , a person that says it’s a bad thing is just a selfish person , when you are in a relationship and your partner says they need space from you then you’re best to kick them to the curb , your partner should be your number 1 priority over everyone , not saying they have to be by your side 24/7 but you both should have great communication and be supportive of one another no matter what , if they can’t do that then they shouldn’t of got into a relationship period , Relationships means commitment you are choosing to be with that person , your days of being single are over , if you can’t commit then don’t
Get into a relationship plain and simple

SjE78 · Accepted Answer

because many people are closed minded, and many of them work on the assumption of what THEY would do, so they view it in a rather nefarious image...

rather like "oh you dated, so something must be going on" what they cannot grasp is that you were friends before you were lovers... and some people who are more mature about things and openminded can retain a level of responsibility and know there boundaries... like i still keep in touch with my last ex and first and second ex...
hell i lived with my last ex for almost a year after we split up in a flat share, but once our relationship was over... neither of us crossed the line

OlderAndWiser · Answer

How often you talk to a partner depends on the stage of the relationship. If we have had one or two dates, them talking once or twice a week is adequate. Once we have had five or six dates, I would expect to be talking more often. When the relationship becomes physical (assuming that means serious and not just casual/NSA/ONS sex) then I would expect to be talking almost every day.

Brainsbeforebeauty · Answer

I don't know why that would be a problem for someone. That's how you get to know someone better and how you find out if it's someone you wanna live with or not, so agree there.
Maybe that's why do many relationships don't work.. Cuz they didn't take that time

aWes0MeNeSs · Answer

I think it's okay if it works for the couple, as long as it doesn't turn into an unhealthy obsession in which one can't be without the other for more than an hour. I honestly think that level of clinginess towards anyone is extremely unhealthy.

However, for me personally, I need days to myself away from everyone sometimes, and nobody ever seems to understand this about me. I could never be okay with being smothered by someone every single day.

Desconhecida · Answer

One thing is for sure, if you move in with your partner you'll have to talk daily. So why not start practicing?

AllieOops · Answer

Wow. if you don't have any communication in a relationship I would think it wouldn't last long. "Work is required" is not only something you see in a job description. It takes work to keep a relationship going as problems do not always work themselves out. Communication to head off any forseeable problem is part of that requirement. Otherwise bad feeling may well up and feelings of "they don't care" may arise when it may not be true. The only time I wouldn't talk to a S/O every day is if I was away on business but I would call as much as I could. Otherwise why be in a relationship at all?

Dinklex3 · Answer

Meh.. I can do without seeing each other every day.
Let's say I have 3, 12.5 hour shifts in a row.
Between those shifts to get adequate sleep.. if I get off at 0730am I try to be asleep by 1030am.
Between those 3 hours I have to cook, shower, do my night routine, and wind down. Then get ready for work again at 5. If I'm taking a class then I also might have homework to do. I don't have time to see my s. o unless we're going to just eat and sleep together so I can recharge for the next day. I get busy so not seeing them everyday is fine.

Lionman95 · Answer

because some of us communicate differently. Being in a relationship doesn´t mean that we have to do everything and everywhere together. We spend time together but not every free minute. For me communication or chatting must have a reason because chatting just to chat is senseless. Spending too much time with someone takes my interest away and it increases the chance that I might have an affair. Because I lose the interest in her. I´d also say we need to have a good communication system but it shouldn´t end in both loosing their personality and their character traits.

nella965 · Answer

Because it shows that you don’t have a life outside of the relationship. Or you don’t have much work / responsibilities outside of the relationship. I have a busy job where I need to work 9 hours day with great performance. I can’t be texting you every hour. I have to make a living and meet friends/ acquaintances.

If you cannot survive a whole day without texting your boyfriend , you definitely have issues. Chances are you lacked sufficient love and validation when you were a child so now as an adult you are constantly trying to seek your partners attention and approval in order to feel stable.

it isn’t cuz you love them so much that you can’t go a day without text , you just want self validation

ButtaGrey · Answer

First, let's eliminate crush from this discussion. Something as minor, possibly
meaningless and unpredictable as a crush
or distant infatuation, in my eyes deserve
no such consistent dedication. However,
someone viewed as a possible, potential
life partner/spouse deserves every minute
possibly available, getting to know, build
and enhance the growth of this relationship.

One doesn't put limitations on going to work,
sleeping or consuming food each day to
strengthen your economy or continue the
body's function and growth. Therefore, by
what account is investing in something
you deem important to your life, suddenly
questionable?

We continuously use our phones and the
internet consistently, everyday for less than
nonessential reasons.

Aethereal · Answer

A lot of people believe in, or try to have relationships that are about being together, but separate i. e. get the benefits of being in a relationship (sex, love, etc.) with the benefits of being single (so-called and ambiguous "me time"). I think that's a recipe for disaster. In my opinion, if one can't stand spending most of their free time with a partner, the relationship has an expiry date. I mean, how will such people even survive marriage?

Karin_Anna · Answer

He is my best friend, father of our child, my rock. We respect each others space, work in unison without really having to think.

Sure we have our moments where tempers fly, usually constructive and just but we always end the day with what we describe as pillow time, we both agreed that our bed was neutral territory and we would talk before sleeping.

The new day starts! Ideally that works all the time but in reality it doesn't but it is what we strive for.

PonyCarGirl98 · Answer

I agree with u girl!❤
I can't understand either why some people would feel this way. My only guess is that they're either not serious about the relationship yet, or have some sort of trust issue.. or perhaps, they're super "independent".. 🤔

SarahsSummer · Answer

Well there is a giant difference between crush and partner so I will answer both. It's completely appropriate to communicate with your partner daily and could actually cause problems if you dont. As for a crush, ideally one will try to convert a crush to a partner sooner than later and commence communicating every day. If you are afraid or unwilling to convert a crush to a partner, you really have no business communicating with them at all.

mawmmeme · Answer

I’ve been in a long Distance relationship for 3 years and we talk every all day u til he goes to sleep since time zones, people always say the same thing but it’s what works for us and we never force a conversation we just always have something to talk about

Kurαȷ · Answer

Beats me, reeks of ego and attachment issues to me.
If someone claims to be into me, they better be trying to talk to me every day.

And if we are in a relationship, preferring not to be in contact every day, that's just odd and dysfunctional, fuck that.

Dongtai · Answer

That’s like saying why is it bad to play with fire by gasoline. Sure you MIGHT not light the gas but why risk it? Some people just aren’t comfortable with the idea of their partner spending a lot of time with someone they used to say they love and have sex with. Some people feel like once you past that boundary you can’t go back regardless of if you say they’re just a friend or not.

Purpul · Answer

It’s not “baaad”. But if you want the relationship to last it’s best to create space from time to time. That’s what develops attraction.

Seeing each other everyday takes away the element of surprise, and excitement. Perhaps not in the beginning, but definitely over time.

Predictability is the “killer”.

alice55 · Answer

Talking to them everyday by text is annoying but talking to people who you live with is definitely not the same at all. I don't know if it's just me but I like focusing on the people that are around me at the moment and not the one that are not next to me so I rarely text people no matter how much I like them but if we're in the same house I would talk to them a lot.

el_Te_de_la_Rosa · Answer

Some people prefer "fantasizing" about their crush. If they become partners, it'd be hard to acknowledge some dark sides of a partner that they overlooked at the beginning.

I see many have high expectation and think their partner is perfect as how they imagine. Then it crashes when they discover more info. It's just a fear of accepting the truth. And the truth kills romance.

KingdomForAKiss · Answer

I prefer seeing and talking to them daily. Especially in college, my boyfriend used to call me in between classes and ask me how they went. I loved it. If we can't see each other every day, I like to keep phone contact like text messages or calls. It's a balance between what I like and what he likes.

DocT1977 · Answer

It depends on where you're at in the relationship. In the early stages, a little bit of distance isn't a bad thing. You don't want them to feel crowded and start running like a scared rabbit. You don't want to become something they can't get rid of. You pull back every so often just to see if they keep reaching out. This is how you maintain interest.

JDavid25 · Answer

Well, I can sort of see the crush thing, because if we ain't together then they can get tired and move on real quick, Although it depends on it y'all have established they y'all like each other.. But with a partner y'all already together, and live together so I agree.. I guess that also depends on the relationship..

EABsTUQ · Answer

I find I have to make an effort to remain grateful for the relationship when talking is happening everyday. Unless I really attracted to the girl and she's worth marrying. Never been in a relationship where I see the girl everyday so don't know for that one.

Ninjazzed · Answer

I think the only bad part is realizing that there is a possibility that they might not feel the same way. They may like you, but not romantically. It’s unhealthy if they don’t like you the same way, you’ll find yourself feeling pretty terrible over it. As with a partner, I don’t think people realize what they’re getting into. You better love every second with that person if you’re planning on marrying them because you will be living with them every single day. Think it through.

KrazyGirl70 · Answer

So many answers. But I remember a girl who liked the guy I currently like calling me all sorts of names and posting it on social media because we spoke very often and bonded well. So people may do it to not seem desperate, but also it’s a deep insecurity for some you know.

Lliam · Answer

I always liked talking to them every day or as often as possible. I prefer to actually see them in person that often. I'm talking about a partner or someone I'm dating. Talking to a "crush" (someone I merely like) every day might be weird.

ZackBan · Answer

If I could see her every minute of everyday I wouldn't miss one.  It's not about obsessions more about the fact that being with her makes me happy and so I see no reason to deliberately avoid her.

Jjpayne · Answer

I'd say space is important. It's coming up with fair boundaries for both, even when they see each other daily. But for example, on a vacation with friends, phone time should be limited to focus on friends

nodnol32 · Answer

I don't live with my girlfriend yet. We need to see each other everyday. We love each other and ultimately want to marry each other. Sometimes we feel a few hours with each other everyday are not enough.

CHARismatic110 · Answer

I don't mind talking to them everyday and seeing them often, but I also value my space. So even if we end up living together, I'm gonna take time to go out by myself and such.

NamerOfStars · Answer

I think it's more a concern of people early on in relationships, well before the "living together" phase. They're afraid of coming across as desperate or needy and scaring the other person away.

duskyboy97 · Answer

Depends on person to person and bad is not the correct word here , I guess it's " giving extra attention to someone" the reason why you might feel bad is when u give extra attention to someone he or she doesn't value you much , your value decreases in his/her eyes

madgoat · Answer

Married. So seeing and talking daily is kinda the point.
But if you're single and not in a serious relationship , or just hook up every now and again, it's not going to be a biggie of you don't talk for a while.

ItsTheNephilim · Answer

I don't know if people really say that. Anyways, the hell with what others say. It's your crush, enjoy your time with them however and whenever you want to.

Unit1 · Answer

I believe some of them put it this way because in reality they need room to check up on their secret background lover.
This is not to say, that "having time to miss" is nonsense or having some private me-time is wrong.

Elliegirl · Answer

I don't know 🤷‍♀️ Everyday was always good for me.

ariadneR · Answer

I love talking to him everyday. If I could I'd see him everyday but I can't. Tbh, if he said move in with me I'd do it in a heart beat, but yeah... covid

Olivegardern · Answer

Boys/girls think its being clingy if you dont live together

kbharadwaj3125 · Answer

You wanna know about your crush better. Talk tk them daily and dig it out. 😂😂😂

kele_ · Answer

Many people believe the relationship may get boring

_no_one_ · Answer

In my case i get outta ideas on what to talk about which leads to a ded chat that's too much frustrating, so i prefer to text when i am in a good mood and with something good to talk about.

AdithyaR · Answer

The time apart probably makes the time together feel more special. And sometimes people like some time for themselves, to either hang out with friends, family or just by themselves.

worldscolide · Answer

I have no idea, my wife and i before we got married and before we lived with each other, made it a point to call each other daily before bed and when we woke up.. We needed that contact.

SarahNiemann · Answer

I honestly don’t know anybody who does think it’s a bad thing!

Phoenix98 · Answer

I don't see it as a bad thing either but make sure you give them their space to no one likes to be suffocated either.

blkgold33 · Answer

Maybe some people think they are bothering them by texting or talking to a crush daily.

Eagle_93 · Answer

If I really loved a girl, I would probablu want to talk to her everyday so... I don't see anything wrong with talking to your crush every day.

JosyJosy · Answer

No clue. It's good, the more moves you make the more chance you make him yours, simple.

Torari · Answer

Because you grow numb to them. Passion grows when you're separate. If you're constantly with someone, they stop being as exciting.

CaptainLegal · Answer

Never had a problem bwith talking to my crush everyday. Just let them be for a few hours so they don't feel exhausted from the conversations.

OddBeMe · Answer

I guess it matters if you’re in a relationship. But we all have crushes on people. I wouldn’t be hurt if I found out my wife had a crush on a male friend at work. I’d be crushed if she acted on it.

NewZion · Answer

People playing this hard to get shit and inflating their bullshit "value".

skrewd · Answer

it's called space. if you invade it all, there ain't much left. I usually referred to as like that girl really walks on the ground I worship

MannMitAntworten · Answer

Probably because they are used to talking via text mostly.

_food_lover234 · Answer

i like talking to my crush, but maybe every other day

winterfox10 · Answer

Because you can run out of things to say, and the interactions become less meaningful

MrTuxedo · Answer

It's important they both want to see each other everyday. Space is really important in relationship.

Anpu23 · Answer

I certainly don't mind good night texts and good morning stuff on a daily basis.

Tommy2017 · Answer

Based on what I have seen, it's very likely to be friendzoned if you have long talks to your crush every other day because she starts to see you as a friend instead of a potential sex partner

Tstrbrainer · Answer

If it's just a one sided crush, seeing them and talking to them everyday may seem like chasing.
It may be even disturbing to that person if he/she is not into you.

But the one having crush will always prefer to see him/her everyday.

Why do some people think seeing and talking to your crush/partner daily is a bad thing?

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Why do some people think seeing and talking to your crush/partner daily is a bad thing?

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