Do you prefer dependent or independent partners?

Question

Dependency or independency?  This has been an issue for me in most the relationships I have been in. I am a very independent. I bought my own home, I buy my own vehicles and I am pretty passionate about every thing I do. I succeed in what I put my mind too. This has always caused a rift in my relationships. I am aware that this is all due to their own insecurities, jealousies, etc. I can't keep count of how many times I was belittled or was made to feel bad for wanting to be successful. The less successful and dependent I was, the more secure they felt. The more successful and independent I was, the more insecure they felt. Which turned into arguments and me having to defend my right to have my own income and life outside of them. It seems there was a constant need to make me dependent of them one way or another.  Why? I don't get it. I mean some people claim they want independent partners, yet in my experience they don't. I would rather be with someone because they make me laugh and I truly enjoy my time with them. I would rather feel like I WANT someone than feel like I NEED someone. In the past I felt like my relationship consisted of me living my life for other people and not myself. It sucked.   What do you think goes through the minds of people who feel more secure in a relationship with someone who depends on them? Is it that they feel the person won't leave them, so they have less to worry about?  Would you rather be with someone who is independent and with you because they want you, or with you because they need you? Do you like a woman or man who is at home waiting for you or one that does their own thing?

MannMitAntworten · Accepted Answer

For me, self-reliant. I won’t pretend to know all the answers and nor should she. Not a fan of bullshitters. I appreciate humility and genuine vulnerability. Not to be confused with a meek character, but a legitimate strong/good character. I absolutely to appreciate a capable woman. But one who doesn’t like they constantly have something to prove because she is a ‘woman’ ... ego. I mean, if she shares she can do something, I am not going to make her prove it. I just take her word for it. I mean, my ex could gut and remodel homes all by herself. I never personally stood over her for proof. Her word was good enough. Damn impressive as far as I am concern considering most men anymore wouldn’t know the difference between a roofing hammer and a framing hammer. Anyway, again, humility, I equally appreciate when they can honestly know their limitations and their ego foes not get in their way for asking for help. Whether from me or someone else. Again, I won’t pretend to know everything either and have no shame in admitting if I do not. But all this is just me talking here.

Jean-Marie_Céline · Accepted Answer

Independent, please.
My ex was ultra-dependent on me and it wore me out.
My fiancée flip-flops about it.
Before we got together she was strong, indipendent and a little intimidating.
Now there are moments she's a big and whiny cribaby and I don't know what to do in those moments.

Bootylicious905 · Accepted Answer

Men think different then woman.
1) They believe were out to get them
2) They think if were too independent or available to workers n co workers they will be challenged as men by other men. Men don't want compete when they think ur their price possession.
3) income inequality causes men less ego. So if i get paid more he becomes jealous.

Am_and_Pm · Answer

Hoesntly, I have zero clue. My best guess, my (future) spouse would be a reflection of my self. Aka, complete me.

I think dudes, guys, and man have a preference which they construct unconsciously. I think people with high status prefer someone equal to them. Tho, human is human and they tend to choose the extraordinary. 😁🥴😋

Unit1 · Answer

Dependence is for children (and even then I disapprove it).
Independence is for adults.

I get the feeling the toxic people want somebody to be dependent on them to unload their toxicity. Colloquially we say "misery loves company".

My real deal here is independence. Show me you can carry your own weight and aren't posing with complexities and difficulties in life, that 18 year olds deal with once they got out of their parents roof and have to do all things by their own selves. Welcome to the real world!

TisTheTruth · Answer

For me confidence and independence are my biggest turn ons. I admire empowered women and love the fact that they don't need anyone to take care of them. Relationships at the end of the day is all about support and being there as a good companion. Men who get into relationships to feel good about themselves or use it as a badge won't last long

nodnol32 · Answer

I prefer independent. If I ever have a daughter, I'll make sure her mother and I raise her to be an independent woman.

xichuwangwai · Answer

dependent or independent, not so much different and not important to me

more_than_a_guy · Answer

Somewhere in between, I do appreciate being needed and I want her to know how to deal with things herself too

nawtee_me · Answer

I prefer a independent woman over all, but some dependency is fine with me.

NYCQuestions1976 · Answer

As a single parent, independent.

magiusX26 · Answer

a healthy mix of both

Anonymous · Answer

I say let’s all be single

AmeerX · Answer

Dependent partner

hbg84 · Answer

It doesn't really matter to me

Drumlin2001 · Answer

Independent

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