Do you prefer dependent or independent partners?

Oceanlust
Do you prefer dependent or independent partners?
Dependency or independency? This has been an issue for me in most the relationships I have been in. I am a very independent. I bought my own home, I buy my own vehicles and I am pretty passionate about every thing I do. I succeed in what I put my mind too. This has always caused a rift in my relationships. I am aware that this is all due to their own insecurities, jealousies, etc. I can't keep count of how many times I was belittled or was made to feel bad for wanting to be successful. The less successful and dependent I was, the more secure they felt. The more successful and independent I was, the more insecure they felt. Which turned into arguments and me having to defend my right to have my own income and life outside of them. It seems there was a constant need to make me dependent of them one way or another.

Why? I don't get it. I mean some people claim they want independent partners, yet in my experience they don't. I would rather be with someone because they make me laugh and I truly enjoy my time with them. I would rather feel like I WANT someone than feel like I NEED someone. In the past I felt like my relationship consisted of me living my life for other people and not myself. It sucked.

What do you think goes through the minds of people who feel more secure in a relationship with someone who depends on them? Is it that they feel the person won't leave them, so they have less to worry about?
Would you rather be with someone who is independent and with you because they want you, or with you because they need you? Do you like a woman or man who is at home waiting for you or one that does their own thing?
Do you prefer dependent or independent partners?
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