Why does my boyfriend always think im going to cheat?

[Anonymous]

I have been with my boyfriend for 10 months, in the beginning of our relationship we had the worst arguments because i had a friend who was a guy who also goes to the same gym as me, my boyfriend went as far as to read my text messages with this guy (which were completely normal and friendly, I knew this guy before I knew my boyfriend and nothing ever happened between us like that, a few jokes but mainly sarcasm) but after that he would always have a problem with me going to the gym and he asked me to block this guy on my phone, which I did, and then he would always check that I still had the guy blocked. Now that lockdown has ended and the gyms are open again im desperate to go back for a session but he is already saying things to hint that he wouldn't be happy if I did go to that gym, but that's where I pay to go and I like it. Even though I always reassure him (and I am with him after all) he always finds a way to make me feel like im doing something wrong or having something to do with this guy when I'm not at all?

[aWes0MeNeSs]

Honestly, if he doesn't trust you, he shouldn't be with you. Not to mention that it's usually a huge red flag when a partner is ultra paranoid about being cheated on when nothing has been done to betray his trust (and I swear, at least 9 times out of 10, it ends up being the one constantly freaking out about the possibility of their partner cheating on them who actually does the cheating, because they believe everyone else has the same view of and lack of self control around the opposite sex that they do).

Also, trying to pick your friends for you an demanding you block people and to look through your phone is controlling behavior. Again, if he doesn't trust you, he shouldn't be with you. Have you given him any reasons not to trust you?

[coolaboola]

100% agree with you

[aWes0MeNeSs]

@coolaboola Thank you!

[coolaboola]

@aWes0MeNeSs I've seen this situation so many times. I still dont get why girls (and guys) stay with these partners.

[aWes0MeNeSs]

@coolaboola Me neither, I would never let someone try to dictate who I was friends with or obsess over cheating that much!

[coolaboola]

Im sorry to say this but he is not ever going to trust you with any male friends as time goes on. I know its diffcult but you may need to re-evaluate this relationship unless he starts to see sense. Im saying this cos I've seen it happen so often and im currently helping out a girl in a bad situation over her bfs trust issues. Your boyfriend has to accept that you have male friends. His insecurity might grow worse or make you feel lonely. Think hard about your future here.

[Anonymous]

Why?
Because that's how some people are.
Insecure, afraid and they think they can keep you longer by controlling who you're in contact with.
He may be correct and you may also cheat one day.
He's just going to have to learn to enjoy people in the moment rather than trying to keep them forever.
He may not learn that for many years yet.

[Anonymous]

This problem exists in his mind and thats where it has to be fixed.

If he is unwilling to accept and acknowledge that he has a problem then just shit can him.

[_SOARER]

It's called being a man and trying to protect your woman.
Tell him to go with you.

[Wise4myage]

Because he's incredibly insecure. He needs to know how much this bothers you and if it doesn't stop, then you should dump him.

[Danny_dan92]

Leave your non gym going insecure boyfriend and be done with his fat ass

[Compassiondude101]

Dump his ass. You don’t deserve to date insecure little boys. If he can’t trust you leave him

[Avicenna]

Probably previous experiences

[NicolaJ35]

He has serious trust issues and is insecure

[Iron_Man]

It’s because of your friend

[Joker_]

Because you are going to cheat