What do you do when you get ghosted?

Question

How do you handle it?

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

I really dont like this whole thing at all and by that i dont mean ghosting, what i mean is the meme ghosting and this idea that people just disappear because i actually think its complete bullshit a good deal of the time.

I would put strong money down that a good deal of the people who claim others have ghosted them are actually the ones who didn't reply to a text or whatever and then got their panties in a bunch for no reason at all.

I just think its all very childish and egotistical, if you want to connect with someone then you should reach out.

Its like all these rules like double texting etc, it seems to be like an arms race or something to me, like people are so hypersensitive of rejection they want to first strike to save their ego, so if you dont text back in whatever timeframe, i dont know what the rules are supposed to be, but whatever if you aren't in the window then block, delete, block, block, like its the stock market or something and you have to get out of arsehole futures.

This literally happened to me the other day, I had been talking to someone and then we didn't for a couple of days and then I said hello and i get the third degree over it, what happened? why the silence? and Im like wtf are you talking about? This person has no message to me, no effort has been made to reach out to me but now i am some how wrong because of this ridiculous and arbitrary window.

I honestly dont know what the fuck is going on with this whole thing but Im pretty sure almost all of it is completely retarded.

Communication is increasingly text based and its so easy to make mistakes and have misunderstandings already, we really dont need these silly games on top.

Please stop acting like this, if never heard the term ghosting ever again it would be too soon.

Dongtai · Accepted Answer

Realize that I’m probably not the first person she’s ghosted and that it’s more about her than me. Granted, I make sure there wasn’t anything I said or did. But I’m a pretty decent a respectful person.

We live in an era where technology is slowly taking over basic human interaction. Swipe left for a potential date. Swipe more if you get bored with them. Text if you feel like having a conversation. Don’t reply if you don’t feel like talking. You can’t do any of this stuff in a face to face situation but the internet allows people to skip a lot of steps in communication

With ghosting, I realize most people are either selfish or cowardly. They’re either too uncomfortable with confrontation or don’t care at all about other people’s feelings to let them down properly. I never ghost because it leaves a person wondering what they did wrong and if there’s something wrong with them. It can mess with their self esteem and prevent them from growing and moving on. I always give room for closure.

A lot of people aren’t mature enough to think about that. Again. They’re usually just thinking about themselves and not how it might affect you. Don’t take ghosting personal unless you’re doing things to make people ghost you like being rude, creepy or hostile.

9/10 if a person ghosts you, you aren’t the first, they will do it again to someone else and it isn’t personal. It’s part of that person’s communication habits.

ch15hann · Accepted Answer

I think it all depends on who has ghosted me and what I feel towards them as well. I also want to make sure that they are actually ghosting me and not that they really didn’t see my message (like leaving me on read by accident or something). I always want to give people second chances and not outright judge them.
Let’s say if the person I’ve just met for a little bit has ghosted me, I wouldn’t think much of it and I would just let things go and not contact them anymore but I wouldn’t go to the point of blocking them.
If it’s someone I’ve known for a while, I would reach out and ask what’s the problem. If they read it and won’t respond, then I will think about removing every connection I have with them.
Ghosting to me is a really immature thing to do, especially amongst the age of technology. It’s not ok to leave someone hanging and question what they did wrong even though they probably haven’t. Truth be told, ghosting hurts more than telling someone why they are ignoring them upfront.
Moral of the story, if someone doesn’t give you the same respect, don’t give them the respect either. Friendships/relationships are a two way street.

lumos · Accepted Answer

The best thing to do about it is nothing. Live your life. I take being ghosted as any other form of rejection. It sucks that the other person can't be upfront about how they feel or what they want, but at the same time it doesn't really matter. Would them telling you that they're not interested really make you feel a whole lot better? Maybe a little, but the outcome is still the same; they didn't like you back and you have to move on.

I think a lot of people feel tempted to tell a ghoster off and cuss them out for what they're doing, and I can totally see where that comes from. But at the same time, that's (unfortunately) a really effective way of painting yourself as the crazy person, and letting them feel justified in their decision to ghost you. So I'd save all that time and energy and put it towards letting go and moving on instead. Hopefully karma will bite them in the ass some day when they're on the receiving end of getting ghosted, and they'll realize how stupid they've acted.

Cynicaldreamer · Answer

Well after it sets in I've been ghosted, I delete and block them from whatever outlet I'm talking to them on (phone, messenger, social media, etc). Why?
Because ghosts sometimes have a tendency to reappear months, even years later as if nothing happened... yeah I'm speaking from experience.

After I delete them, I mope, hit stuff, ask myself why I wasted time on them, vent to my friends... then I slowly try to move on and try to get over them.

OlderAndWiser · Answer

Your choices are:

1. Try to stalk the ex and make them tell you why they left,

2. Ask everyone on social media about why Miss Right ghosted you,

3. Go into mourning for a long time, out

4. Accept it as a fucked up but unavoidable risk of dating, accept that you won't always get your questions answered, go have a beer with your guy friends and trash talk women, then start looking for your next "victim."

Why of these choices do you think is most advisable?

jennifer_bloom · Answer

I tell myself I can be just as happy without them and it’s okay if they don’t talk to me because I don’t need them to talk to me

Apple1996 · Answer

Oh no. I have a feeling that I know the girl that ghosted you 👻👻

AmandaYVR · Answer

Can't the answer the question as is, too vague. Need more details. The possible permutations are endless.

pervertedjester · Answer

Move on. I have no time for weak people.

Louiseduck · Answer

depends if I had feelings for them or not.
If I didn’t, I wouldn’t care and probably wouldn't do anything. If I really didn't care or didn't even like them much, I may even ask them why and pester them a bit for being so rude when I’m bored just as something to do.

If its someone you have feelings for its totally different and happened to me recently. I was devestated and cried loads and kept talking to anyone who’d listen about it. I even sent him an emotional message which he didn't even read. He came back to me a month or so later and we saw each other a few more times, only to ghost me again!
I since found out from people we both know he is very depressed at the moment and doesn’t feel he has anything to offer someone, which has sort of givng me closure knowing the reasons.
Unless its exceptional circumstances, ghosting is really horrible (unless its someone you’ve only been on a few dates with and its pretty clear neither of you have really developped an attachment or anything).
It takes 5 seconds to text someone giving them some closure.

LeoPride93 · Answer

It would really depend on the situation and how long we were dating for. If we had been dating longer than a month, I'd probably be a bit more upset and want an explanation, but would ultimately move on. People who ghost after dating a while are COWARDS. Big red flag and you probably dodged a major bullet.

If it was under a month and not very serious, I wouldn't even entertain the situation AT ALL. I normally talk to a few people and don't cut anyone else off until I know the other person is serious about me and wanting to take things to the next step. When you invest a lot of time in somebody very early on, it will almost always end in heartbreak and disappointment.

mindNsoul · Answer

I guess it will only bother me if I was (or thought) we are getting somewhere after let's say weeks or months of talking. Gladly didn't happen to me.

Similarly, it would bother me if we agreed to meet and the person didn't show up. hahaha yeah that's kinda embarrassing so it would bother me. Thank God that also never happened to me.

If in dating app and you decide not to text over the sudden then it's cool. I don't chase or even think about it twice. why would I? don't take things too seriously I guess.

Hermes-Paris · Answer

Here in Mexico it is so common. Women are so often cowards. Sometimes you will get ghosted waiting for your date at a restaurant. First couple of times I was like WTF? Now I just expect it so I always have plan B with my friends. If not you will waste all your time sitting around waiting for someone who will never show up. Life is for living so go out and do just that. I learned to wait around for no one. If someone is really interested in you but you are not it is really better let them know so they don't waste time finding someone else.

Can-I-Get-A-DoOver · Answer

Nothing. I move on because I know there’s nothing wrong with me. “I dodged a bullet.” Glad I found out now he’s fickle. I’m looking for my rock. Ghosting is a sign of the times. There are too many choices. People think there’s something better just around the corner. I’ve been ghosted so many times that I’m impervious to it. I just changed my attitude. I enjoy one date at a time for what it is and don’t plan my future. If they’re rude or obnoxious, I do get up and politely excuse myself saying we’re not a good match. I will not say it was nice meeting them and ghost them. I will not ghost. For some reason I feel like I have a responsibility to improve the image of online dating. Lol

Definitely · Answer

Stalk them and find out everything you can about them. If you can get their home address, present yourself at their door and ask them why they did it. Once you get the answer move on.
If you can't get their address, hack their accounts and message everyone "I'm a ghoster looking for people to ghost". After that you can move on.
If all else fails, find out any other accounts they use for communication and contact them there. If they don't answer, spam them until they give you the reason, then you can move on.
I personally prefer the first method as it never fails to get the reason out of them.

bluetoblack99 · Answer

Well realize she looks at as is “well so I was once fucked over by someone else so I don’t feel bad doing it to the next guy”.

So use guys get judged in aggregate. Just ask the creators of #metoo how it works. The fucked up feminist logic is simple: the woman is never wrong. If she fucks someone over it’s just a way to even the score against all guys. Never mind your individual experiences and relationship with her.

Maybe guys can return the favor and start ghosting more girls. Let them “holistically” see how it feels. Maybe they will start to slap some sense into each other. But I doubt it.

Anonymous · Answer

What can you do really? Can't make someone talk to you. However, if it is a dating app, I report her pattern. Believe it or not, dating apps will take action if they believe someone is misusing their website because it hurts their reputation. If I know someone has a ghosting pattern, I do my best to warn other guys so they avoid her. In real life, if I know someone has a reputation for ghosting I put them on blast. It might sound petty, but women are given too many opportunities to hurt the loves of men. The least I can do is help other brothers stay away from one more bad apple.

laurieluvsit · Answer

It depends who it is. Most of the time it doesn't bother me but sometimes it happens because of a misunderstanding... then I cry

Sparda20xx · Answer

Ghosting, to me, is a sign of immaturity. But that's not what you asked. Wje. I got ghosted, I was upset. It made me think something was wrong with me. But I got over it. What you need to do is follow @Cynicaldreamer advice and block them completely. Most ghost will come back to use you again. Don't give them the chance.

MsTaniaUncensored · Answer

I move on. Their loss. Rejection is a part of life. You can't please them all.

modelUN242 · Answer

Cry, mope around, and then think about why they didn't like me, was it something I did, said, was I ugly? Or maybe it's their fault, maybe they felt depressed, they had some problem, or they're just a shitty person. Those are the thoughts that go through my head, I tend to overthink things. But the more I got ghosted, the better I could go through this, I remember the first time I got ghosted, we talked for 4-6 hrs over two days, and then for our third phone call, nothing.

BeenThereLovedIt · Answer

Ghosting really pisses me off.

It's nothing more than a horrid tactic to stab someone right in their emotional center, and then leave them bleeding and wondering only one thing: why? Sometimes it's deserved, but most times it's just used (mostly by females- sorry) as a nasty queen-B kind of thing - only a serious C-word would do this without some kind of threat present.

richardsnarky · Answer

I just assume that the person has joined Scientology and not take it personally.

thekissesofthesun · Answer

Say "eh whatever'' for those that I don't care. Get upset for days or longer for those that I care.

DiscomfortZone · Answer

You remember that you're not a four year old and you simply move on. Ir, you kniw, you try to squeeze some online attention out of it, thus keeping your mind on it and destroying any and all chance of getting over it. But by all means, do what's best for you!

Starlight_Whimsy · Answer

I’ve actually never been ghosted, I’m the one that usually ghosts. I think one time my ex was trying to ghost me but he ended up messaging me within 3 days and kept apologizing for some reason

Silver158 · Answer

Move on but it's always funny when you bump into the other person irl. They're either livid that you don't care and happy with your life or they'll try to talk to you like nothing happened and get pissed when you tell them to fuck off or ignore them (this happened to me)

Yads_Is_Back · Answer

I haven’t been ghosted yet, but if I was I’d just move on. Not dwell on that one person

ItsASecret26 · Answer

I don’t get ghosted bc I’m a bad bitch 🤪🤪 lmao jk but I just say fuck em I don’t need nobody but myself tbh. Be happy with yourself and by yourself bc that’s all you have at the end of the day!

Katebfun · Answer

It's hard to not take it personally. But look at it this way Rejection is protection. The right people who are meant to be in your life will be. Move on, pick yourself back up and try to not get bitter about it. Good luck.

meetkitty123 · Answer

I've been ghost I guess buy a good friend and some acquaintances. It hurts a bit but there's nothing much that can be done does shrug and keep on moving

sheikalana · Answer

Once I realize I'm being ghosted they never hear from me again. Funny thing is that they always reach me out after a few months.

David92506 · Answer

I put a lot of time, energy, effort, and money into a relationship. Several times I've been ghosted and I got angry and cried. Then I move on.

bobalife · Answer

Like Ariana Grande song 🎵 thank you, next🎵 I wouldn’t msged them unless you think it’s worth something.

Dansnlawlipop · Answer

"Is what it is" It only happened once, and I wasn't thrilled but that let me know we aren't compatible at least.

Licia_hersheys · Answer

Once I get ghosted they never hear from me again lol. I guess we both just going to never here from each other again.=)

Liam_Hayden · Answer

Move on to the next girl. Why waste time worrying about it?

TheMeditativeOwl · Answer

I don't know depends on how you feel about the person... Did someone ghost you on here?

kespethdude · Answer

I say good. I always like saving the time to take trash out when the trash takes itself out.

jabbahut · Answer

Theirs better girls outside their - she will be regretting it in the long run! Just move on to better things!

Kaneki05 · Answer

find out where they live and kill them? what else would i do? Just sit on my bed and carrying on my playing xbox and not worry about it nahhh.

purplepoppy · Answer

I handle it like a constipated rectum- I don't give a shit.

Clyde_123 · Answer

Usually I delete their messages and pictures that reminds me of them then I move on. I try to forget them.

Sevenpointfive · Answer

realize i was ghosted. so like after the second time of me trying to contact them (i'm not trying anymore)

Anonymous · Answer

I have autism "Spectre" disorder.
That's why I always get ghosted by people
And it really makes me feel dead inside

Ok I'll stop with the jokes. Everyone ghosts and ignores me
I don't know what to do i i just take a nap and it makes me feel better

DavidDong · Answer

you are you and they behave that way. You can call it out but if they leaving you like that you just walk off in my opinion.

sensible27 · Answer

The problem maybe isn't ghosting but how replacable sometimes people seem to be. So a bit/quite the opposite in some ways...

winterfox10 · Answer

Sometimes I feel hurt and I'll try to figure out what happened. It really depends on the relationship.

Texaskid1 · Answer

I call the Ghost busters...

Unit1 · Answer

By talking to the next woman 👩  and the next one.  and the next. i will keep finding women. Beautiful women 😍

kemo56 · Answer

If you're talkin about one time few times you might work it out otherwise move on there's somebody out there they won't ghost you

Don-_-Don · Answer

I forget about it. Like has too much to offer to care about being ghosted.

Kitty46 · Answer

I wish men tell you why they want to stop talking to you. I forget them & move on. If they ghosted you, they didn’t have the guts to tell you.

TDDMS · Answer

I usually just put on a white sheet and walk around saying 'boo.' But in all honesty I've never been ghosted.

madprofessor · Answer

Realize the other person is a total piece of shit and be glad you are done. Same with breaking up via text.

Crankor · Answer

Id prob give it at most a week from their last text or conversation and just take them off my contacts after that.

JamesBlackDragon · Answer

Never happened before but if the did I'm very chill and relaxed so I don't think it would bother me that much

whatchamacallit021 · Answer

I say move on and go fck someone else. And if they message you back fck them and you ghost them back

hbg84 · Answer

Easy move the hell on. I don't dwell on it. Fuck them if they don't want to be apart of your life their loss is how I look at it

tUCK_Frump · Answer

Walk away. It's not kindergarten, so why play games?

poneglyphs · Answer

get a little sad and then it take a couple of days until I'm better

themythos · Answer

Move on to a better person since you deserve better

93_n_on · Answer

Oh Jeez.. nobody ghosted me and I haven't been ghosting anyone

What do you do when you get ghosted?

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What do you do when you get ghosted?

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