Why Do People Still Not Understand Why You Shouldn't Go By Physical Looks? (Page 2)
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All is true about aging. But when you love the person, all those changes either do not matter, or make you like them more. By the way, I find your bod to be very hot in all the photos.
Very true... And some people looks can change for the better... That's what I was trying to point out as well that people still aren't getting.. I gained a lot of weight when my back went out, my hubby never made me feel bad for it, but I took it off before I'd let them give me back surgery back in 06... I get physical attraction but if you love someone that attraction can be more than mere physical
I know some people just go by looks cause they want some Prince or Princess and people got to realize that life is too short to judge one based on what they look like looks are in the eyes of the beholder
Exactly!! Well said!!
@Brainsbeforebeauty Thank you !!!
Probably because looks are usually what attract us from the beginning but as we all know that same hot person can become ugly as soon as they open thier mouth
Exactly
Yeah, no thanks.
I fell for someone who cares about how they look like, if they stop caring how they look like, they stop being the person I fell for.
It's as simple as that.
Would you say the same BS about someone who would become and alcoholic or a drug addict, that they are the same "them" that they always were?
Aging happens...
Illness can happen. .
Accidents/scars can happen..
Comparing based on looks verses drug addicts like wth that didn't make any sense 🤣🤣
None of those things are getting fat, though.
The difference in these pictures is that you have gotten heavier.
That's not an accident, it's the result of your laziness and negligence, you've adopted negative behaviors.
You can't expect to not be judged for those.
Sure, I would keep dating my partner if 40% of their body got burned by accident, but they are totally becoming single if they think they can just turn lazy and unkempt and not care about how they look like.
Haha presume much, the weight difference happened when couldn't work it exercise because of shoulder injury, and I exercise every day so there goes your lazy theory 🤣
But that's my point... So what happens if your wife had a baby and the baby weight don't disappear overnight? Or she gains weight cuz of health issues? Or what if you do, should your partner trade you in then 🤔
Oh and where an I getting judged negatively.. I haven't been... I'm not single cuz I couldn't attract someone.. I'm single cuz my husband died 7 years ago... And I rather be single than deal with the kind of bullshit people call relationships these days... And if you would divorce someone over their weight, you call that love? Okay 🤷🏼♀️
I don't understand it either mam, their is an old saying that 'that you should not judge the book by it's cover' but still people look for physical features than the nature.
You said it there!!👍👍
Thank you mam
Thank you 💜💜
Always mam
They arre to shallow Obviously not looking for longterm Looks will fade But they don't loose there personality they stay the person they are
EXACTLY!!
It's natural instinct , you can't blame them for wanting a certain type of physical appearance
But it becomes a problem only when you get consumed by it.
I have seen a lot relationships fail , because their weren't sexually and physically compatible.
There is no doubt that physical appearance is important but your right it shouldn't the prime objective when finding a partner
Ignorance and hopes that only looks will solve and keep all the reproductional values and "problems". Too high hopes and blindsided faith that looks is the most important and only attracting thing in a person. If you are that horny just masturbate.
😂 right lolol But I agree, stop judging by looks, go by the personality, character, heart and soul...
The drive to go for partners with good physical looks is a biologically ingrained instinct which is necessary for the long term survival of our bloodline.
Our brains roughly judge someone's physical health and general prosperity subconsciously. This judgment manifests as physical attraction.
The your brain wants you to reproduce with attractive people as those people in general will likely provide your offspring the highest chance of reproduction.
I'm not saying personality doesn't matter. Or even that looks are the most important thing. I'm saying that physical attraction is and should be a valid consideration in seeking a life partner.
Looks personality>looks or personality
while physical looks can be and are a deal-breaker for a romantic relationship for me. It never prevents me from being friends with a woman. You need to be physically attracted to your partner. You also need to be able to have an emotional connection. If you were born unattractive, then... I'm sorry. Luck of the genetic draw, but I think it's important to know what league your in. Yes, leagues are real, and they suck, but if you're pissed that you don't get to date the more attractive guys, then I would say your guilty of the same thing your accusing others of.
I see why you get hit on all the time. i make no apologies for finding you hot (I knew you were, by the way)!
it’s because it’s the first thing we generally see and know about a person. I personally think it’s all about the Selfish Gene in action.
The point is guys who like curvier women might reject the person in first pic, but guys prefer skinnier would reject the person in the second pic... Although it's the SAME person... 🤷🏼♀️ And have been both 🤷🏼♀️ but the core of who I am stays the same... By going by looks alone, don't know what you could be missing, that overweight person may not be in the future, and that skinny person may not stay skinny... But thanks for the compliment, although still trying to get back to the person in the first pic, for myself cuz I don't care if someone can't accept who I am in the second one 🤷🏼♀️
Quite true. There aren’t that many really overweight women where I live, so I guess they have it harder because of expectations.
Im sure you’ll get to where you want to be, weight-wise
Or die trying... Word to the wise.. Don't work out with someone half your age and twice as flexible 🤣
Great points.
Looks "bring them in", but the heart "keeps them in" is a succinct explanation I heard once.
True, but sometimes even the person even without the looks, or the looks you're normally attracted to anyways
Yup.
People are stupid. I mean looks are nice but what does it matter if you don't get along with the person. Also maybe I'm weird. But I've known some girls who were less than goddesses but so awesome I ended up wanting them in a bad way
Sure, but it’s nice to enjoy beauty while we’re young.
But real beauty is more than just looks, well to me anyways... I don't care how attractive or hot a guy is.. If he an asshole he's ugly, if he's a liar, he's ugly
What defines real beauty is subjective. Of course personality and values need to align, but having a beautiful partner is a great perk. I personally wouldn’t date someone who I wasn’t attracted to physically.
But does it matter Ms triple B? I mean its not like you're dating again or that the girls in their 20s think the same as you do (and did). The maturity may kick in at a much later point in life but even for many it never did.
@Unit1 their loss then right... 🤷🏼♀️
works for me :) 👍
Oh only if it were that easy, Then I will probably have a girlfriend someone who would always love me and be there for me instead of being alone constantly and continuously.
Looks matter substantially but so does whats inside as well just think about it would you really wanna spend the rest of your life with someone that is not attractive to you at all. When it comes to dating someone, they should both find each other at least some what attractive on the outside AND the inside. But the good part is everyone is attracted to different people so it works out perfectly
thats assuming we suck at evaluating visual data, ain't it? sum of us are better at it. beauty in the laugh lines, u know
in the smiles and laughs, the way they move their body, stir their drinks. the wrinkles on their brow from straining it, or even the way they walk -- shy or confident, or sumthing in between. the only problem 2 me is that people aren't paying real attention to the visual data. they are drawing inaccurate conclusions from it
One of my female acquaintances asked this once. I said that I agreed: you shouldn't judge anyone by looks. And that's why you should date Joe over there; he's smart and funny and is completely in love with you and would treat you really well. She turned her nose up because Joe is fat and ugly.
The End
Yeah just cuz your one "friend" was that way means must be the right way 😂😂 okay thanks for sharing
Oh and this story sounds so familiar, like I've heard it before 🤔 Or do all guys user this story? ,😂😂 And notice how you just say women, men don't do this too? Pass up the good woman for the one with the hot body?🤔
Struck a nerve, huh? I didn't just say women. I didn't say women at all. I was talking about one particular person who just happened to be a woman. This is about people. Everybody wants the best partner they can get in every category, but they don't want to put in the effort to be their best, themselves. And then they complain that they can't get the partner they want because they're not what that person wants in a partner. It's human nature. I tell men the same thing: improve yourself, and your options improve. It's that simple, and nowhere near as shallow as people make it out to be. If a woman isn't going to make an effort for herself, she's not gonna make an effort for me.
No you didn't strike a nerve... You just sounded like an asshat I knew that told that same exact story 🤣🤣 must be a lot of Joe's running around 🤣🤣 and everyone has flaws, it's about excepting people flaws and all, it's about being the best to one another... People looking for perfect, but perfect don't exist 🤷🏼♀️
Its really not about that, though, is it? I can accept you as a person, a friend, whatever, no matter your flaws. That doesn't mean I'm obligated to date you even if I'm not physically attracted to you. It doesn't have anything to do with looking for "perfect"
Physical attraction don't last tho if that's all it is... If a beautiful woman or good looking guy are ugly on the inside, they'll stop looking so good on the outside, right? Attraction is important agreed, but just like love takes time to grow, so sometimes can attraction... Obviously there's people that you can be attracted to from the get go-but that attraction is based just on looks alone, right? Getting to know someone, the more you like them, or love them for who what they are as a person, the attraction can also grow cuz you're also attracted to their laugh, or sense of humor, or their intelligence, or their strength, or or...
Do you get what I mean... Some of the better looking guys I've met have been some of the ugliest people to me cuz past the looks, they weren't shit... And then the man I spent twenty years with might not have been the type I'd say normally attracted me but I fell for the person he was, the kind of man he was, the talent he had, the kind of father he was, and, and...
Funny I should ask out of all those saying physical is the most important how many are married or in a relationship verses divorced or single... Oh and online video only relationships wouldn't count 🤣
I get what you mean. But it's a bit different when it's something you can change vs something you can't
That's the whole point tho, people's looks can change.. I don't put pics of myself out their, not cuz of shame cuz don't trust the internet and don't trust people... I did that to show I've been different sizes, size C boobs, size DD boobs, I've been 140,125,160 lbs... If you pass someone up cuz their boobs are bigger then what you you prefer, our they way less than you like or more than you like, what happens when that changes but you blew it cuz they weren't good enough in your eyes, but then you got a good looking person that's a liar, or a cheater or Narcissistic or toxic or selfish... Those things generally don't change... Cuz that's who what they are... So then would you rather the better person? Or the better looking person? 🤷🏼♀️
*there not their damn auto fail 🙄
*weigh not way
Any other ones you get the drift lol
Typos don't bother me. No need to correct. I focus on the idea, not the mistakes.
But what you're suggesting is that you should choose someone based on whether they could become what you want and then try to change them. That just doesn't work. People are at their best when they're single. When they get comfortable in a relationship, it all goes downhill. So from a man's point of view, it's better to choose too skinny because she's gonna gain weight once she gets comfortable
That's not always true but okay 🤷🏼♀️ and no I wasn't suggesting to change someone... You can't change people not should you try to... I was merely pointing out but people setting their standards too high they may be missing the real deal...
Long story short: if you're not willing to change for the better in order to attract the partner you want, then you're not going to change for the better once you get them. That's the entire idea behind "you should accept me for who I am"; you're not willing to put in the effort to be better than you currently are, and so you demand acceptance of your current state, and blame anyone who doesn't by calling them shallow.
Any man with a brain can see this from a mile away, and knows you're not going to make an effort to improve his life... you won't even make an effort to improve your own
You look for someone to enhance your life not improve it... You should improve yourself, your own life not expect someone else to... And no you shouldn't have to change for sometime if someone loves you they should accept you for you not try to change you into what they think you should be... And I don't look for people to improve my life... That's not relationships are for me... It's about companionship, sharing times, creating memories... Again do it your way... How's that working for you 🤔 again the very ones on here telling others how relationships should be can't even maintain one 🤷🏼♀️ People are different, just because see things differently don't make you right and me wrong.. Did something right for 20 years 🙂 can you say that 🤔 okay 🤷🏼♀️
Enhance and improve are synonyms. Besides that, you just admitted that not only do you not believe in improving yourself for your man, you don't believe in doing anything to improve his life. Which was exactly my point. I can get companionship, shared times, and good memories by hanging out with friends or even owning a good dog. So anytime a woman says that's what relationships are all about, I know she's just gonna be along for the ride while I take care of everything. A man is better off single than in that situation
See there you go assuming like all men do these days... Along for the ride haha... Me and my hubby both worked, both took care of the bills, the house, the kids, and I took care of him the last year of his life.. Yeah I was just along for the ride 🙄🙄
I dont see much of a difference in the photos. I think that second one is better
There's a difference, like 20lbs😱😂
Looks good to me
Thanks
See, @Brainsbeforebeauty? Everyone still thinks you're hot. Stop worrying!
@Jamie05rhs Again what am I worrying about? This isn't about me and the way I look lol this is about people that out such importance on just looks yet complain they can't find someone, and if those saying physical attraction is so important, how many are single 🤔 There's a reason my marriage lasted 20 years, cuz it wasn't based on just physical.. And me and him both changed over the course of 20 years...
Why do you keep thinking I'm worried 🤔 lol
I'm not single cuz people don't find me attractive lol I'm single cuz I don't want to be in a relationship the way people treat their partners/relationships these days 🤷🏼♀️
Yeah I just like them legs, the ones that go all the way up and get cheeky.
👍👍