Why Do People Still Not Understand Why You Shouldn't Go By Physical Looks?

[Lliam]

Everyone is different, so there is no way to generalize.

When it comes to physical looks, I think it depends on a number of factors. Mainly:

- A person's goals and values. Are they just interested in sex? Starting a family? An emotional/intellectual connection for a committed, long-term relationship?

- Age. Young people tend to be attracted to young people. I can't see them being into wrinkles or gray hair. And guys who are interested in starting families wouldn't be, either, because youthful-looking women signal fertility. But, age aside, when it comes to facial features and body shape, again, different guys have different tastes. And a lot of guys truly DO value emotional/intellectual connection more than physical appearance.

Up past my mid-20s, my physical ideal was girls who 'looked' like they were in high school, not that I wanted to date high school girls once I had left high school, myself. I'll give an example. I went to a concourse d'elegance car show in Laguna Beach with a friend whose dad had entered a car in the competition. There were going to be Playboy bunnies there and I was excited to see them because I subscribed to Playboy and thought the girls in the photos represented the ideal female form. At the show, we went over to where the bunnies in their costumes were doing meet and greet. I was surprised to find that I thought they were, I don't know, ... fat, too filled out, too curvy. Isn't that weird? So that goes to show what image I had in my mind for the ideal woman. I was still into girls.

Once I was in my 30s and in an environment where I was meeting grown women, my tastes changed. THAT is the point where I would have thought those Playboy bunnies were prime. They were.

Guys are genetically programmed to find the appearance of youthful women attractive. They can appreciate the blush of youth, but they appreciate the female form in general. Mature men find full grown women just as appealing, and sometimes more so. And grown women appreciate grown men and have the extra advantage of, shall we say... expertise? Hahaha
And beyond that, there is emotional and intellectual maturity that makes people very attractive.

Compliment time. A few extra pounds, a few fewer pounds, you're blessed with a really nice shape. That random guy you mentioned the other day who told you that you were beautiful wasn't kidding. You look fine.
Ever consider putting on a Playboy costume? Mmmm, I'm picturing it right now.
😎😜 Hahaha

[TheAfrikan]

@Brainsbeforebeauty damn you wrote this well indeed, it is funny how people do Love going for looks over a loyal, caring, loving n understanding person.
And those who tend to go for the physical appearance there relationships end up being a total mess. since they never married a person who is the friend or that person who connects with them well.

But I liked you in the first pic rocking those shorts 👍👍

[Cynicaldreamer]

Because people are superficial and want to have a "hot" partner.
I use the term hot loosely because what one person considers hot, maybe average or ugly to another.

Yet they don't realize, or want to accept, that one day those looks will fade. And if you choose someone purely on looks and not their personality, intelligence, or inner beauty?
You're gonna be sad, miserable, and alone, even though you're in a relationship...

I'm speaking from experience as I've had guys flat out reject me based in my appearance (and another reason I no longer use dating apps or post my picture online). They would love my personality, talking to me, said how great I was... until they saw my picture. Then poof! They either lost interest or ghosted me. Every single time.
That nonsense really screws with your self esteem and confidence. But I digress...

Ironically, some of you same people that are superficial, are the main ones that can't find a partner!!! I wonder why...


On a sidenote, you look good girl! I wish I had the confidence you do! Come down here and exercise with me...

[cjgsu]

These are the easily brainwashed.

They watch movies where the coolest characters on tv are sexy or dating sexy people so they easily brainwashed minds go this is how i want to be, da shit like them.

They let the media tell them what to do how to choose partners how to vote.

How to see other races, what to eat how to see sexual orientation, how to vote, how to judge genders actions.

Media knows using propaganda works.

Look at politics. Ads don't tell people that if u vote for me i plan to do this or that to make America better.

Instead they use fear tactics of if u vote for my evil opponent America will be ruined and people panic.

[ohshee]

So very beautiful and so right everyone and everything changes , I love beautiful people not from the out side, but from the inside out when is was almost 17 I went out with older women I never looked at the from an age point of view I looked at then on who they were what they were all about I have had chances to date beautiful women. Most of them I didn't,, because they were only beautiful on the out side. And the ones who were and still are BEAUTIFUL on the inside mmm yes I did I've always wondered why people just think the person they see is who they are. ,, I work with younger people and my friends are always to to hook me up with some one and things I have learned is that like me looking st color I don't see see it I have dated younger girls so smart so beautiful on the indide they never seen age they just seen me and I love thst. Because there always some one the same age as the girl I dated and they only see the out side and thats ok to there's nothing wrong with that that's who they are I've always wondered or have said how would it be if we were all blind. I believe our world would be so different

[TonyMetal___86]

I didn't know that miss brains is doing some modelling in her bedroom 😄
Anyways your bed is good but mine is bigger, it can fit me with miss brains and the muffins are the barriers and i'll eat the barrier to reach miss brains muffins 😂😂

Now my answer to your question is that people especially men are always tempted by looks, because the majority wants only sex, a smart man will search for a woman who adores him and makes him happy all the time...

I'll always choose the average girl who loves me from all heart forever instead of a top model who makes my life a living hell...

Anyways miss brains, you got the brains and the looks and the delicious muffins and meals which makes a real QUEEN 😌

I can hardly believe that your 48 but i like your decent outfit 😊

Where the bottle of mineral water next to the bed miss brains, what will happen if someone wakes up in the middle of the night thristy 😤, always keep a bottle of water next to the bed in case someone get thirsty, especially in winter, who wants to go out from the bed in the cold 😁
I'll keep the muffins in the drawer next to me 😋🧁

[centerline]

as for the meme alluding to why one should not be so vain, a persons heart (used in the context that the meme uses it) can change too... and usually does. we need to change our desires if we want to stay connected with that heart... but it may be our own heart that changes and we may fall out of love... so in keeping with the reasoning of it, why should we try to love at all?
beauty is what catches our eye, and we gravitate towards it... the inner beauty can't be seen or heard until there is quite a bit more than a passing interaction, so its seldom seen, where as the physical beauty can be seen at a distance.
even a lot of other animals have a preference who they mate with, so it isn't just a human trait, but a fact of life that we like what is pleasant to our eyes...

not all outwardly "attractive" people have a mate, because some of them have no inner beauty to offer, and some very kind, generous and thoughtful people with amazing inner beauty have no mate because tno one is attracted to them on that alone... which leads me to understand that it takes both inner and outer beauty to be attractive enough to someone...

AND, we ALL see things through different eyes and individually, we can each see different forms of beauty in different places... so again, its not a simple thing to say that we shouldn't judge what we like only by whats in our heart... because that is NOT all that matters.
and STILL there is more to it... the mental attitude and stability, and someones personality has a lot to do with it after two people get to know each other...

so its a dynamic thing that is always changing, and it can't be said that a better understanding would make it better for anyone... i think a more accepting attitude could make it better for everyone world wide, but not necessarily make an extremely ugly or homely person be able to find a mate...

[Louistruman19]

Its biological. Looks are said to be a sign of fertility. Women who are young and "hot" are more likely to have healthier eggs which makes for genetically healthier offspring. Same goes for men and their sperm. As they age, Women not only start to lose their eggs but their eggs also become more and more unhealthy for offspring. Our biology somehow has wired us on a subconscious level to seek out the most genetically healthy (looking) mate.

Im guessing you think we should pick mates based off of personality. But what biological imperative does that serve? In my opinion, personality is too malleable. It doesn't really indicate anything. You see, anybody can act a certain way. How is at all condusive to producing the most genetically healthy offspring possible? Maybe when it comes to actually raising the child, but if the child has bad genetics, theoretically speaking it won't have as good of a chance of surviving/thriving in the world compared to a genetically healthy offspring. Just my opinion.

[Unit1]

Not gonna simp but you are looking good. I can patch in your face in those photos and now I know how you look :D

So those emojis covering your face are as useful to you as me tryna getting a girlfriend while I am not having any money on me.

For some people looks is all they care about. You see them chasing after the looks and ignoring the warning signs (single mother, baggage from previous exes, crazy psycho, abuses).
Yes, for some they lack self control and be dictated by their dick and "oh the pussy is so good" - if you know what I mean.

[JackSmy]

Biology. People are attracted to physically attractive, people; both genders!
There is a consciously unknown, biologically-oriented drive to like the one of the species, that are the most attractive, the strongest, the ones that seem the best, sexiest, and to be drawn to those.
It is human biology, and many suppress that, and society seems to walk a fine line between the innate Biological desire and attraction, and the 'Socially acceptable' way.
The 'Reptilian' basal, primal brain, where sexuality, and physical desires are based, is focused on species survival.
Modern people, can consciously choose not to fall back to basal, sexual desires, and they can choose to focus on the higher, Mammalian Brain, that allows for relationships, emotions, love, family and monogamy.
But sometimes, some slip. . .

[caring__1]

We have biochemical responses to different triggers our senses experience. It is automatic, so not within our control. We have no control over our feelings, but we do have control over how we act on these feelings. Everyone knows there will be changes as we age, but the biochemical responses don't consider the future.

Many people legitimize changes. I can't tell you how many times I've heard women say it is perfectly normal for women to get fat as they age. Men get fat if they don't consider their consumption and metabolism when making their choices, also. Rather than saying, "If you loved me, you'd accept me as I am," ask yourself if you are putting forth the same effort in the areas important to your partner as you'd like your partner to put forth in the areas important to you. The effort is more important than the results. Some things are truly out of our control, but don't use that as an excuse to ignore what is within your control.

[19magic]

Aw hun you have nothing to worry about you look great in both pics :) it looks like you filled out in the second, or is that just the dress you wore first, but either way you look good.

As for the looks I wouldn't go solely for looks but you do need to attracted to some extent I've tried on three or four occasions to be with a guy who I didn't like the look of and one of them was sweet as pie, but I just felt like shit and like I was using him and the others I just felt gross about. So while I agree don't just replace the partner with a newer model or base a relationship on lust, there does need to be some lust or the relationship is just lustbuster (if that's the word I'm going for)

[Jjpayne]

I think part of it is experiencing youth and getting ready to settle into old age...

But beauty is on the inside.

I think there is a reason why we age...

It's time for the next season of our lives.

Each decade says something about us by the way we look.

Each decade leading towards maturity.

To me, aging is just moving with the seasons of life

[Bluemax]

Why Do People Still Not Understand Why You Shouldn't Go By Physical Looks?

If you had added the word "alone," I could get on board with the spirit of this question.

Physical looks matter, and I don't just mean in the initial attraction. Looks are very often the difference between physical affection that is wonderful and physical affection that is a chore; something to be avoided. Of course looks fade or change. But it is supremely important to have *enjoyed* physical affection in order to bond.

This is indeed absolutely positively not fair. But it's very difficult to counter 2 million years of human evolution.

Indeed looks aren't everything. However let's not pretend they are nothing.

[Billie_]

Attraction is important, I’ll give them that. But looks are definitely not everything. I’ve recently been in a situation with two guys I liked, one was average, one was my EXACT type and handsome. I picked the average guy. Why? Because we just automatically clicked, and I’ve never had a connection like that before. Looks don’t matter when your soul connects with someone elses. Peace and love.

[DizzyDesii]

Attraction is a big deal. I tried to like someone based off other things aside from looks and i just couldnt stay interested in them romantically. Friendship wise sure but who cares to have friends these days 🤷‍♀️ Now i am fine with someone starting off looking good and getting less attractive because we got older. Thats fair. But becoming unattractive due to weight gain for example and not wanting to fix it can eventually become a turnoff/dealbreaker.

[AndrewMG]

So whilst I may come across as an incredibly intelligent, articulate and humorous guy the reality is that deep down I'm a happy go lucky idiot that finds himself in situations that a sitcom would reject for being unrealistic , so for the time being I require people to give me the benefit of the doubt based on my Physical looks (I mean they are deteriorating at a rapid rate as each day passes so this is not a long term plan!) lol

[TCredo]

It's pretty impressive to see you still have the same sunglasses. Think I've lost or broken 2 or 3 during that timeframe lol :)

Very well said here Toots and it's the absolute truth so people really do need to understand that.

P. S. I think you look great in both pics :)

[Torari]

The drive to go for partners with good physical looks is a biologically ingrained instinct which is necessary for the long term survival of our bloodline.

Our brains roughly judge someone's physical health and general prosperity subconsciously. This judgment manifests as physical attraction.

The your brain wants you to reproduce with attractive people as those people in general will likely provide your offspring the highest chance of reproduction.

I'm not saying personality doesn't matter. Or even that looks are the most important thing. I'm saying that physical attraction is and should be a valid consideration in seeking a life partner.

Looks personality>looks or personality

[lookingforsomereal]

while physical looks can be and are a deal-breaker for a romantic relationship for me. It never prevents me from being friends with a woman. You need to be physically attracted to your partner. You also need to be able to have an emotional connection. If you were born unattractive, then... I'm sorry. Luck of the genetic draw, but I think it's important to know what league your in. Yes, leagues are real, and they suck, but if you're pissed that you don't get to date the more attractive guys, then I would say your guilty of the same thing your accusing others of.

[Anonymous]

They say "will you eat a fruit that is rotten just to see that is it okay from inside?".
I also said what if the beautiful and fresh fruit is poisonous? They said "then spit out that fruit if it has a worm inside."

Nowadays people want both good looks and good personality.

[Dougzy]

Because they are very very very superficially generally I stop noticing peoples looks really quickly it`s their personalities which keep me interested. trust if your pretty and pain in the arse the thought this person is a pain in the arse will win every time

[Saturnxox]

Because you do need to feel attracted to someone when you are dating them.

And there's nothing wrong with that, you can't force yourself to feel attracted to someone while you're just not.

It's just wrong when you're so blinded by someone's looks that you don't see how bad they treat you or just how shitty they are as a person in general.

[boggboss]

Looks will always play a part sure picking someone on looks aline is stupid but you can't argue the fact that looks play a part if attraction was only based on personality we would all be bi as the looks would be irrelevant