Can simps truly love the woman they are in a relationship with?

Question

My thought is no. My brother has always been a simp/incel and desperate to find a woman. He used to say he isn't good enough for anyone and "bohoo nobody likes me". Now he is in a relationship with a woman who controls every mive he does, demands he does all the chores, makes dinner and does favors for her. He showers her with gifts and flowers and treats her like a goddess, but I think he does that because he thinks she is the only one he can get. That's not love. They don't even have anything in common. She doesn't even let him play video games or hang alone with his friends. It makes me sick.

betaTester · Accepted Answer

What is true love? unconditional love? like he'd sacrifice his needs and risk pissing off his family for her and only her? I am positive simps can do these things lol. They are capable of cutting ties with their family over a woman. I've seen it.

Tbh the one thing I can tell from this question is you dislike your brother's girlfriend 😂

You are saying this:
- Your brother is idolizing his mediocre girlfriend, because "he thinks she is the only one he can get".
- Therefore, he does not truly love her.

But it could well be the other way around:

- He truly loves her (yes, he was lonely and desperate, that applies to most guys before they find their first girlfriend)
- Therefore, he idolizes her despite her being mediocre, and he thinks she's the only one for him (isn't that what love is? do you ever ask yourself this question of whether you could get someone better than your current boyfriend?). It has to be her :) like this song

https://www.youtube.com/embed/8XHDuKXrAwU

I am not saying your brother or his girlfriend are good people, I am merely saying true love does not require either party involved to be good people, at all. True love can be toxic, even more so when you're not the one being loved.

I think the term 'simp' works well on people who spend money on onlyfans, but it does not work well on people in a relationship. Because sometimes you need to see it from the perspective of them, to truly see if the other person is "mediocre". Like I can't tell why my friend still dates the girl he is dating, she is very flawed, but surely there are many things I'm missing.

by the way it's possible for a man to be both a simp and an incel. From my observation, many incels actually started out as a simp, unless they were born in special circumstances (like being disabled). Simps have expectations, like being noticed at the very least. If this expectation is not met and they become disillusioned, salty, and turn into full incels. Ironically their usual insult is 'simps', you can easily spot them because they tend to misuse this word to mean 'everyone who disagrees with me about women related issue is a simp'.

Vviiccttoorr · Accepted Answer

Yeah yoi gotta tell him that no matter what he believes others think; he’s clearly a great guy and that he deserves someone who will appreciate his good heart not taken advantage of it. Tell him also that even though he doesn’t see anything special in himself; others most certainly do, like you for example. If he’s willing to just throw himself away like that to a horrible person then he’s gotta look at himself and ask if that’s honestly the right thing to do (basically letting someone be a bad person and supporting them with it) I mean that’s what he’s l basically doing; I’ve done that once and thank God I had people show me that it’s wrong. even if it takes a long time; you should find someone who likes for the person you are. He has to realize that any girl would be blessed to have a good guy (cause it can be rare to find a genuine guy) and that once he does leave the one he’s with right now.. she will regret it but, he cannot go back to her after that. If you tell him about all this and he still wants to stay with her just ask him what I said before; ask if this is honestly the right thing for he and the girl to be doing (she being manipulative and controlling + him supporting it) hope I helped

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Do what I do. Wait for him to come home, on the bed with your head down and ass up, put a uttplugg or dildo into your vagina and tell him to put it up you butt. Have lube ready, butter works in a pinch.
You might want to try anal by yourself. I rub my clit while doing it.
Oh make your butt is clean and you haven't had a big meal recently. I had a serious accident while doing anal with a one night stand while drunk, the sheets got covered in crap as did he. Thankfully he used his credit card.
A good tip i find is too while in the shower unscrew the shower head and stick the hosepipe up your butt with the water on ( not too hot or cold) and let the water fill up your anal cavity until you've an extreme urge to poop, run to the toilet quick as you can and let all the water out along with any poop. It takes a while and just when you think your done pooping more comes out. Do this 2-3 times, be sure to shower yourself down after when your sure your done pooping the water out because that water drips out of your butt still and stinks

Iwant2kno · Accepted Answer

I think most men have the same need, to find a woman and feel loved and respected. In the case of your brother, I think you nailed it. His need, his self esteem issues don’t let him see that he has become a simp. The only way he will see it it’s when that girl breaks his heart and illusions. I’ve seen cases that really guys lose self respect to the point they will ignored they have been cheated on.

dragoblack · Answer

Incel, maybe. Simp, definitely not. Incels objectify women and only see them as sex objects. Simps are women worshipers.

I used to be in the mindset of "no one loves me or wants to be with me" and during that time i was constantly insulted, verbally bashed on, and called an incel constantly.
But i never objectified women, i was just confused why i was always rejected, when all it was/is, is most women in my area just don't find me attractive because i have resting sad face that everyone thinks makes me look sad... i can't help it, that's just how my face looks.
But all of that time i felt like garbage and i had next to no confidence due to all of the mental and verbal abuse with no one actually wanting to help me, wanting to understand, or be supportive. It's mind breaking really, and it causes some to commit suicide.
In your brothers case, it is no confidence, and horrible case of self-loathing. Probably feels he deserves to be treated like trash and all he can do is be of use to any woman willing to take him.
He was lost with no one there when he reached out. If you supported him and helped him out of that mindset by answering helping correct where he was mentally incorrect about women, answering his confusion from a womans point of view, he probably wouldn't be in that position.

thehorriblesheikh · Answer

Oh lord. He is not a simp. A simp is simply considered a person who overvalues a woman. Your brother doesn't overvalue a woman, he undervalues himself. Those are two different things.

Most people like to say that everyone who is a fan of an adult actress, or an instagram model is a simp. Assuming, that an adult actress or an instagram model cannot have likeable traits, since she is sexually provocative. Isn't that sexist? Isn't it sexist to think that just because a women wears revealing clothes, that that's all there is to her? Does that then mean that every sexy man out there is nothing but a male bimbo as well? By that logic, every man in the western world is a simp, if you ask the men in Saudi Arabia or in my country (Pakistan).

There are many handsome and hot men who are more educated than the average individual. There are many beautiful and sexy women that are more educated than the average individual as well.

The rise of the word simp started from right-wing men and women who are afraid of competing with people that are quite simply better than them. That fear makes them shame any fan of an individual that is better than them. It's sad and pathetic that people resort to shaming others out of jealousy for a third individual.

Elsa143 · Answer

True love is when he would have still stayed despite of having many options.
That's the reason I don't date ugly guys anymore. They're loyal and clingy because they don't have other options. True loyalty is tested when many people are after you but you're still giving the importance only to your partner.

FreyaRed · Answer

Simps love pain and being humiliated by women. They are biologically males but behave like spoiled girls who see nothing else than their own fun and joy. Really, I think simps are very egoistic, despite they are willing to make some sacrifices for their partners... but (yeah, there is always a but...) they don't do it if it's really necessary and leave those women they admire sooo much alone if there is no fun or joy for them in some specific moment.
"Those poor buggers will be just abused by evil maneaters like Freya" ... in reality those guys are backstabber trash. Just some temporary fun but for something serious they are worst possible choice.

Smoothing · Answer

I think you should let your brother be. He is perhaps just going through a phase.

As time passes by, he will find his way in finding women. Figuring out how to get women is a struggle that all guys go through. Some guys just get over it faster than others. And this is not unique to guys alone. Some girls to struggle to attract guys but learn how to with time.

It is no big deal. Such is life. I would think your brother is either a teenager or in his twenties. Just allow him to navigate the world without being judged. Before you know it he will discover his skills.

Kaazsz · Answer

It’s hard to be a man who is attractive to women. We take what we can get. And we can love that women even if we are only settling.

I don’t know if the same is true is reverse. I think a woman forever hates and regrets when she has to settle for a simp. And she takes it out on him by being abusive to him.

And then he goes crazy one day and beats the shit out of her.

Ahh love. So fun.

AdithyaR · Answer

I believe simp and incel are two different types of guys, but both ate incapable of actually loving.

The problem with incels is that they see women as sex objects, heavily sexualizing them. They refuse to accept that it's their flaws that drive women away and instead blame women for not dating them. These are the ones who feel like their date owes them sex cause they paid for dinner.

A simp is a man who lacks self esteem and confidence, hence thinks he is unworthy of a woman. They place women on pedestals and come off as extremely needy. They eil easily let people step on them and will simply bend to their partner's will.

One views women in a lowly manner while the other views too highly. They forget that women are also normal people like them with feelings and flaws of their own.

From your description, your brother seems to be a simp (no offense), he lacks confidence in himself and needs to learn to set his own identity in a relationship.

Unit1 · Answer

Ahhh finally. A woman used the word SIMP correctly and applied it to the right context. Now you can see what we men see.

Let me guess - you could argue that "there are girls out there, who would treat you better". Hm, yes, there are. However simps are quite desperate. As desperate as the girls chasing after the fuckboys, who treat them like trash (sometimes because they don't think they'll land another relationship whatsoever). And that's the position simps find themselves in.

They say love is blind and in your brothers case this rings true. He doesn't have balls. Too bad.

Gravit1 · Answer

Definitely not a healthy relationship, too one sided. Sometimes intense attraction makes you act irrationally, of which I've been guilty, but she felt it to, so it was mutual irrationality. I honestly don't want to be with a woman who doesn't share beliefs and doesn't wants to be with me. That makes me immune to such a trap, but often times people find themselves more attracted to the idea of someone than actually the person. He's obviously in love with a fantasy, not a real woman.

JSmuve · Answer

Maybe? I think he loves the fact that a woman wants to be with him rather than the woman who wants to be with him. Desperate people cling to people when they have a scarcity mindset and are willing to significantly compromise how they're treated for a status title.

MannMitAntworten · Answer

He probably thinks he lives her because he knows no better - or worse for that matter - as he has no other relationship to compare it with. However, she certainly does not love him. Had your brother known any better chances are there would not have been a second date let alone all that showering nonsense.

ThisIsMyOpinion · Answer

Tell me something...
You insult him for not believing himself to be good enough for anyone and then you act surprised when this happens?
He is acting like that because he is AFRAID of being alone! Afraid that no one but this girl will ever love him and so he wants to keep her at all cost.
Do you care for your brother at all? Then tell him he is good enough instead of putting him down!

FictionalCharacter · Answer

So your brother has insecurities, is being controlled in a relationship. That now you as a sister judge him and degrade him on this post.

Obviously he cannot trust you or turn to you for guidance. And Don’t even justify this action as tough love.

You’re a sibling, set a better example.
Be someone who you care to turn to you for safety, guidance and motivation.

Jjpayne · Answer

I can't say that im not a simp myself at least a little bit. It reminds me when Ferris buller said, "he's gonna marry the first girl he lays and she is gonna treat him like sh#t"

For me, I do have to be careful of this. But I am trying to find the balance of being patient, finding the right girl and treating her right.

But you are right, this is a real danger that guys need to be careful of

ak3096 · Answer

He is putting pussy on pedestal (pardon my language). Its like he has onwed a trophy and she knows it, thats why she exploiting him. The moment he takes a stand, the other moment she is gone and that would make the way for a better lady to enter his life.

dwiller943 · Answer

1. No offense, but you're brother is a little bitch. 2. He had other options, he just CHOSE a girl that treats him like shit. 3. Literally every guy does this.

Billlewis · Answer

Of course we can -- why wouldn't we be able to? I think there are some serious misconceptions about love and relationships nowadays. Just because a relationship isn't 100% equal doesn't mean that it can't be healthy and fulfilling for both partners, and I think this includes relationships in which the guy isn't permitted to have sex (or at least, penetrative sex) with the woman. This is my opinion only.

TruthBringer · Answer

I'm not a simp, so I can't say for sure. But they love the imagine they have about that woman instead of who she actually is. Usually, simps think more highly of some woman, give her more credit & value than she has. So no, they are in love with the imagine in their head (and mostly her looks).

RemoErdosain · Answer

I understand your frustration, and I know you don't say this out of hatred. I think it's still love, yes, but a love filled with insecurities and desperation. What she has for him isn't love, though: It's a sick obsession. She wouldn't try to control his every action if she really loved him. The truth is you can't open his eyes. Only he can open them himself. Just tell him what you think about the situation once, distance yourself, and see what happens

Incelmax666 · Answer

Most incels aren't simps anyways. Im an incel but I would never simp for a piece of disgusting roastbeef pussy. Most men are simps anyways but they don't notice it. "Blackpilled" incels are self aware and know that women like to be treated like shit, so we never simp its in our rules. So you're actually asking men here which are most likely simps what they think about simps... Yes your brother can "love" her, but he's still an ugly beta male and thats the problem

Littlemissbrat · Answer

If it was a regular simp I wouldn't give a shit, if it were my brother I would try to show him, to help him feel better and leave that mindset.

InferiorElegy · Answer

Wow I'd hate to be your brother, you obviously see him as a lesser being.

The thing about love is, it can hit at any moment and it could be directed at the wrong person. He could be feeling love for her and maybe he sees something in her that makes him love her, try asking him.

YHL6965 · Answer

SIMPs and incels are polar opposites though. I agree with you, he does that because he thinks so low of himself, that he won't be able to get anyone else and she is using that to manipulate him. Deep inside, I'm sure he knows it's not the kind of relationship he wants. I would say though, calling him a SIMP won't help him, it will only make things worse as you lower his already low self-esteem.

Tstrbrainer · Answer

They can truly love the women they are in a relationship with.

In your brother's case, I don't know, maybe he likes being ordered to do things or he's too insecure about himself.

For me, I won't stand such a relationship and I don't care even if I never get anyone else.
I can always hire a hooker to satisfy my needs

DaMack999 · Answer

Sometimes your true opposite knows what's best for your relationship. So don't be jealous. Be positive and supportive. Men learn best when they see things on their on term with their own eyes. Other wise he will have trust issue with you. That lady will use if against you. " She always wanted to break us up" she will say. Don't give her the excuse outlet.

Youryeodongsaeng · Answer

I also think 'no', too. Because desperate people will do anything to get what they want and don't care about the personality. Anyone who wants women for their bodies, are just psychopaths.

Snakeyes7 · Answer

I would think yes. Too much in fact that they would bend over backwards for a woman who doesn’t really care.

supercutebutt · Answer

It sounds to me like you are jealous. Is it possible you are subconsciously craving your brother's peen?

KingDio · Answer

omg your brother is a sook and whipped (he does every thing as you say it's probably only girl who will be with him in he's own mind ) that boy needs to grow a pair and be a man

nikooo0ooo · Answer

I'm not familiar enough with simps and incels I don't watch twitch girls enough to have the experience. How's ur bro an incel if he fucks his girlfriend

Bandit74 · Answer

Yeah he could still have feelings for her, but it's also probably true that is tolerating behavior that he wouldn't tolerate if he had more confidence in himself.

AlexanderAnttila · Answer

Simping is close to an affliction. It is an unnatural and sickly level of obsession for women and a complete abandonment of masculinity. Men who are sick in this way do not seek nor find real love.

bluetoblack99 · Answer

Seems like you really care about your brother with labeling him a “simp/incel”.

BCA6010 · Answer

No, and further more, they're not the kind of person a woman should want anyway.

Don-_-Don · Answer

As far as your brother goes that's desperation as you say. As for simps as a whole, probably not. I'm not totally sure.

Anonymous · Answer

Absolute no, I'm a guy and I'm already know that simps are just annoying, they got low self-esteem and insecurities. There is a different between treating a woman/girl right and simping over her.

matthew0089 · Answer

people called simps pussies for a long time. And incels virgins. Now the world's getting all fancy with the labels

Celtero · Answer

I think it's an odd sort of dependency... like they can't feel validated within themselves unless they have a woman to give them purpose.

Anonymous · Answer

They can love her but she won't love him. It's the same as ugly chick trying to date attractive guys.

Dchrls78104 · Answer

I don't think so. There have been too many murder-suicide tragedies to convince me that a simp could show real love.

Anonymous · Answer

Doubtful; infatuation is more likely. Which is easily confused with love.

Jamie05rhs · Answer

It would appear to me that he is her "pet." I think he probably does love her. But she doesn't love him.

RoastedToast · Answer

You fundamentally answered your own question there.

Liam_Hayden · Answer

SIMPs ultimately only love themselves and think that by being the way they can eventually manipulate women to like them.

MountAverage · Answer

Wait a second, since when is "simp" and "incel" synonymous? Usually it's the hateful, bitter, women-hating incels who call other men "simps".

Anonymous · Answer

Isn't it interesting how we view guys who settle for women who treat them badly as pathetic "simps" and "incels" yet we view women in the exact same situation as victims?

havingfun101 · Answer

Love is just neurotransmitters; arguably, simpering people are more in love than others.

certifiedalphafemale · Answer

No, tell him to respect himself first and stop being desperate for a relationship. by the way, is your brother younger than you?

scooogy · Answer

Yet as soon as a man is in touch with another woman, "his" woman gets jealous and he gets looked down upon.

Anonymous · Answer

While i agree, some people are just people pleasers. They get a high out of pleasing others. And ALL relationships are power struggles

Anonymous · Answer

Yes, I mean, they’re probably better at it. The issue is that it’s not what women like, so don’t do that shit if you actually want a girlfriend.

IlluminatiExposed0 · Answer

This is a very interesting question and the truth is: I don't know.

tHISpLACEiSbONKERZ · Answer

You're just a jealous twat who wants to be pampered but no one wants to do it.

TallAnon · Answer

A simp is defined as such because the target of their affection doesn't respond back.

Pulseofsulfur · Answer

That's not love it's a sugar daddy and she's the brat that expects 5k a month

Whuuutever · Answer

This relationship is toxic af.  He must really be desperate for some pussy.

Protein_mate · Answer

Yeah, they've just got to grow a pair of balls.

Dave31989 · Answer

does she do anything?

Twenty2 · Answer

Maybe that is what love is for him.

Nahid1707 · Answer

Yes and love is a strong word

Can simps truly love the woman they are in a relationship with?

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

Can simps truly love the woman they are in a relationship with?

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

We're glad to see you liked this post.