That's too bad
I've shot down my share of women and it's sad in hindsight, I handled it poorly. Generally, it is little to do with them and more to do with my own fears and issues. Maybe you aren't projecting the feminine enough or projecting your best self, there's always room for improvement in dating and learning as it is a skill, as is relationship a separate set of skills. the aggressive women would win, the passive ones would not. Everyone is different, but you have to be available in a given time and space else ships pass by in the night. It's all a process of self discovery and development. There's as many lonely males as there are females... at least many.
@lightbulb27: I don't think that's it- from what she's posted I think she won't even give a guy a chance so it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I can't contain my excitement for what's to come. There isn't enough popcorn on the planet to sustain it. LOL
"Pair all that with being ghosted, rejected, and friendzoned by guys you had crushes or feelings for- not just a few guys, but EVERY guy." I felt this.
@Dreamy2020 Right! It would be one thing if it was a few bad experiences, but every guy I've liked or had a crush on and it ended poorly? No...There's having bad luck, and then there's just knowing when to take a break, lol. Since I stopped dating, I'm A LOT happier too!
I feel you, girl!
I really have bad luck when it comes to men. I can't change my circumstances. It is what it is. I agree with you. I am actually happiest when I don't like anyone. Hope to be it soon!
@Cynicaldreamer You made me throw all that popcorn away. lol
@coachTanthony As your unofficial fitness coach, you're welcome! Lol
To be Honest, i enjoyed reading this LOL.
I don't know if that's good or bad thing, but ok.
i like that you do not have hard feelings.
So you know whats up... can you not adjust.. bob and weave... do things differently! Self awareness is key and you got it so whats up?
We do do things differently, nothing works. Doing things differently would imply packing my bags, running my own business, jumping on a plane to Asia and becoming a digital nomad and eventually marrying a women outside my country.
Oh that is still in my future.. not quite there yet but close. So what is stopping you?
There is a moral aspect to it as well. I agree with pick up artists in what they teach does build attraction but I dont agree with the world that a women should like me for the reasons of what the pick up artist teaches. For example, the pick up artist teaches me that I need to be challenging to the women. I dont enjoy having someone like me because I acted like I was "exclusive". I'd like a women to like me because she likes things about me and can see without me putting on an act that I have value.
I want a women to see me for who I am, not how well I "act"
I am trained in all aspects of the PUA but use none of it nor teach my clients any of it. I think its' outdated. So what is there to like about you?
So I'm a software engineer. I have the tools to build a business, but the idea needs to be solid. I'm also a forex trader and I'm slightly so far profitable over a long period of time - not enough yet for a passive income though.
What's there to like about me? I'm smart. I research statistical edges on the forex market. I work out probabilities the market will move in a bias in a specific direction based on previous events. I scan through thousands of previous instances and work out how often the market moves any way. With that knowledge, I can make a profit over time if my wins are greater than my losses. From a biology perspective, I think those Gene's are good to pass on. I make a point that evolution doesn't actually promote good Gene's to carry on because if you are smart but dont know how to make a women feel good about herself, she will never date you and those smart Gene's will never be passed on. Women only care about how you Make them feel, not how good you really are.
You know an awful lot to not be so good with women. I mean I don't know dude. Maybe Thailand would be a great place for you.
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Good that you were able to escape that.
I’m sure you do have what it takes it’s just this lockdown and that’s because it has to be the right environment when talking naturally with someone. I hope it goes well with you cause it’s kinda hard for me right now too
Also it’s good to take your mind off of relationships like working out and the guys will possibly come to you. I would also recommend making an opening for a guy to talk to yoi because guys are afraid of rejection but if you leave an opening for a guy to talk to you (you’re showing an interest) then it will take a lot of pressure off of him. If he doesn’t catch the hint then maybe try a little more and after a little while just know he might not be interested but keep trying. God knows that when a girl gives hints that she wants me to talk to her; it takes a lot off of my shoulders to start a convo, also if he starts talking but doesn’t ask for your number or something after a while (then he still could be nervous to ask for it) so give him some sort of opening to ask for it. If he doesn’t take it then no biggie because maybe you’ll see him again and he will next time or ypu gained a new friend or you just had a good convo.
Thank you for the advice. But being one month away from 30 I know a bit about dating.I've tried to make myself available and I've done the approaching. Dated the "nice" guy. Dated the "bad" boy. I even dated an older guy who told me he was only living with his ex because they had a mortgage to pay. (although that wasn't exactly a lie it wasn't the whole truth either, he hadn't actually called time on things although they hadn't slept together in 5 years and slept in separate rooms, weird) anyways what I'm saying is that right now I'm at a point where I don't think I have what it takes to date or be with someone. Everyone I've dated I've had problems with and I think that's due to my up bringing. My mum would highlight all my fathers faults and discredit him a lot. So now when Im with men I can't help but see their faults now although I don't highlight them myself I find it difficult to unsee things. And that clouds my judgements on their intentions.
I'm not a snob or anything like that. But my ex would say I'm very sensitive, and play the victim. But he was a bully. He would often ask me to engage in sexual activities I didn't want and would keep asking and put the pressure on in the hope I'd give in. If I declined he'd withhold sex and create distance. At one point things was so bad I agreed to it because he wanted me to find someone to join us so I kept fobbing him off. Which he wisened up to. And he got really hostile calling me up one night at 3am telling me he had someone with him and wanted to bring him round. He was taunting me really. And I think that was his plan to put me off him for good. As we were on/off again. With me seeking him out. Anyways my track record isn't good and I get that. So right now I'm avoiding "people" as friends or from a dating point of view. Because it never seems to end well. Why keep enduring such situations unnecessarily
Never be with a guy like that, you deserve better. You’re definitely not a snob because of that; that guy is disgusting and is a prime example to stay away from people like that. I see what you’re coming from, taking a break is never a bad idea. It’s good to clear your mind, look for options and stuff. I’d say do what you feel is right and if you feel like getting back into dating then I hope it goes well. Also have you asked for advise and stuff on your dating life
Thank you for your message. I generally don't ask much questions here about my dating life anymore. Most people are rude saying really uncalled for things. A few people have gone as far as blocking me so I just don't bother.I think I know what my issue is, hanging on to things beyond it expiration. He and I have been different for years. And we were trying to make two separate lives coincide never makes for anything good as they never crossed...I'm learning what makes me happy again. And trying to figure out my life's path really.
I’ve dealt with people like that and I’ve had to deal with people blocking me because, they couldn’t prove a point on a topic we are discussing; it’s good to just keep your distance and not let them get to you because, then you’re letting them win. That’s good though, do what makes you happy👍🏼 I hope everything does go well for you. Also if you ever need to talk to someone I’m always here along with other great people on here 😃
Thank you for listening and showing compassion. I really appreciate it. I think I'm winding down from talking about this chapter of my life. It's the end of an era. Or so they say. I hope you have a wonderful Christmas and even better New year x
Thanks for chatting. Winding down is never a bad thing, end of an era is just a new chapter to look forward to. Merry Christmas and happy New Years to you too!
By the way if anyone does read that I just want to clarify that I am not adverse to a relationship, if it happens it happens, but taking into account everything you read, there's a 1 percent chance of that happening. However, I'm genuinely content where I am in life and the life goals I have set for myself and I have accepted that if I'm to meet someone rare who falls into my criteria and we end up in a relationship, great, if not, also fine.
I have a hard time believing posts like this. Most men want sex AND want a relationship and depending on what you show leaves you available for either... that’s how it is in my base. But women don’t seem to be worth the relationship anymore. Sex on first dates and such
@Dreamy2020 exactly you are having same problem like me.. thats why i am still single and searching
@VanillaSalt I don't do casual sex at all. I have to have feelings and trust them to have sex with them. So I don't, and that's why they ghost me.
Def stay away from jerks like that and never settle for less than you deserve
It’s always good to do that if you feel it’s necessary to do. It’s good to take your mind off of things and improve on yourself whether physically or mentally. Always good to ask someone for guidance too like a loved one or a priest (even if you’re not religious)
Well that certainly is more important for sure.
Conflicting cultural differences*
i don't think being in a relationship really means you have to pass everything by your partner. Why do you think that?
@heyhey100 that’s what a serious relationship is. You can’t just check out and live your life for awhile independently. Now you’re a unit that has to discuss everything from dinner to big life decisions. It’s smothering and exhausting and for me it’s not worth it.