Do you want to be in a serious relationship? What is holding you back?

[Cynicaldreamer]

Do I want to be in a serious relationship? Well of course! It's just a matter of finding a man that wants me.

It's not as easy as it sounds: you have to factor in my age, location, most guys my age are already taken, married, or flat out not interested in me outside of friendship. So that's complicates things a little.

In addition, I've tried dating apps in the past and had no luck except guys wanting a friendship- not friends with benefits, just platonic friends. Which in retrospect, I don't regret because I've made some great guy friends over the years.
Yet I see women and girls on here complaining because they get so many replies they cannot go through them all! Apparently I did something -very- wrong, or I'm just not that attractive, haha! Who knows?

I had to stop asking myself why I couldn't find a relationship years ago because it really was making me depressed and affecting my self esteem. There were times I was angry, sad, and just confused as to why others put minimal to no effort in and could easily find a date. Me? Nothing.

Pair all that with being ghosted, rejected, and friendzoned by guys you had crushes or feelings for- not just a few guys, but EVERY guy. Over time, it really does make you wary to even want to date again, much less think you deserve anyone.

So to answer your question, what's holding me back from finding a relationship? Myself. Because I know dating is hard. Even if you put yourself out there, there's no guarantee you'll find someone. So staying single is my defense mechanism to keep from being hurt or dealing with heartache again.

[Youryeodongsaeng]

Yes, I do want to be in a serious relationship. First, I want to experience what it is like to be in an actual relationship, because when I was 12, I've had 3 boyfriends and 1 girlfriend.
One boy, he was 17 at the time, just wanted sex. Second boy was 15, he was shorter than me, he left me for a girl I knew since elementary. (I had never liked her to begin with. You can ask why.)
Third boy, he was my age, (Though, my birthday is before his.) He was short than me by 2 or 3 inches and I was nothing but a side-chick.
The girlfriend I had, she was the best thing that had ever happened to me. She was 12 and i was 13. I found it ominous that when I left her house to go back home, that she didn't text me on Messenger. She called me a few weeks later, telling me something that I couldn't interpret. I told her that I wanted to break up, knowing we'd never see each other again. It was summer and it would have been our 3rd year anniversary. Fear days after the call (I think), her mother reported me as a pedopile and gave the picture of my nude breasts.
After me and my now ex-girlfriend left school for the summer, she gave me an answer about whether or not she'd be my girlfriend. She said she wanted to and after a few texts in, she asked for nudes. I did decline, but she pulled the break-up card and I so badly didn't want to lose her. She promised that she would delete them.



What's holding me back... I fell in love with a 20yo male. We had a ldr but all that ended in September (?). He said he didn't want to seem like a pedopile nor did he want to go to jail for dating me. I understand, it just hurts.
I have made plans: getting a scholarship, go to a 2-year college, transfer to a 4-year college in my state's capital, finish those 4-years, while I have my desired money, I'll get a plane ticket to where he lives and start a new life there.
The thing is... I have to apply for a scholarship and I need that scholarship. That scholarship is the only way out of my mental illness.

[ChrisG30]

Yes I want a serious relationship

What is holding me back:

A) when I go on online dating, I swipe right with no results of any matching. I dont even get a chance to prove myself.
B) when I walk up to a women in a social setting (like either a nice bar or on the street) and try to have a conversation, their attitude is like "what do you want?" And "get lost"
C) If I'm too interested, they accuse me of either being desperate, a fuckboy, or cheap.
D) when a women discovers that I'm successful, potentially starting my own business yet still single at age 35, they start accusing me of being a fuckboy.
E) when a women discovers that I went to work in Asia, I'm also considered a fuckboy even though the reason I went to work in Asia was to find a girlfriend because girls in my own western country ignore me.
F) another type of women (usually the quiet intellectual ones) think all guys are fuckboys.
G) while all outgoing party type girls only notice when you start playing hard to get with them which I dont enjoy playing hard to get because it's not being myself.

[Anon621]

It depends. Right now I can't give quality time to someone because I'm in school and I work part time on top of that. I would have to meet someone who understand that. But even if they were interested I would ask them weed out questions. Such as is physical touch important to you, is sex important to you in a relationship, etc. For me finding people is a huge commitment with my commitments to school and work and covid certainly makes things harder. Joining clubs is tough for me ad well since I'm always in class or doing an assignment or studying for an exam. I'm almost always busy and then when I'm not I just need a break to have some me time or to go disable some pesky cops in Need for Speed Carbon. Definitely the second option lol. Pretty much there are a lot of factors holding me up but I'm not worried about it. If I find someone then I hope we can both learn about ourselves romantically in a positive way. If not then ah well life is life

[jennifer_bloom]

I don't want a typical guy - I want somebody who has a similar value system as me and I am very conservative so that eliminates many guys - I also want somebody who I can trust to be faithful to me when there are girls younger and prettier than me so I am not going to date the hottest guy I can find but neither do I want somebody I'm not really attracted to - I also don't know a lot of people cause I was late finishing university and almost everybody on my friends list is 10 years younger than me or 15 years younger than me

[OlderAndWiser]

The only thing in my way is finding the right woman. And I am looking, dating, and meeting new women despite living in corona times.

[glock33sig357]

I want to be in a serious relationship but I'm too used to doing things on my own around the house and still go out to work, a woman would feel utterly awkward and useless around me because she wouldn't have anything left to do but give me sex. And she might just complain about this being her only purpose, I'm an individual who doesn't depend on any woman to cook, clean, do the laundry or shop for me; this is how I saw my father do it & my mother taught me how to cook, clean and dress a house better than a woman and I even surpassed my mother on how to do it.

[Blerdsmith19]

I do want to be in a serious relationship, but there are two main factors holding me back. One factor is my current dislike for myself. I want to at least work on myself in regards to working out and learning new skills. Basically, make the changes needed in my life to love myself before I could even think about loving another person. The second factor has to do with the woman herself. I'm an open-minded guy, and I don't have any crucial standards, but it doesn't mean other woman can't have strict standards with narrow-mindsets when picking guys. Only when I begin to believe that the right woman has come along, with the combination of loving myself, can I truly be in a serious relationship.

[ShadezMcgee]

In one now. What was holding me back at first was that I was doing self improvement after being mentally and emotionally broken around this time last year. Took forever to pull myself out of that fuck and just struggled with personal relationships in general.

This was all mixed with doubt, no confidence, being alone, feeling hopeless, feeling unwanted by family and friends and the world in general. Easily the lowest and darkest point of my life where I at the time had a suicide note ready to go. Plan was to take a six pack of beer, take my gun with one round and find the most abandoned farm field I could find. Drink the sixer and shoot.

Didn't end up doing it obviously, but yeah, I was pretty fucked up to say the least. Still recovering and doing loads better now.

[maryyy_V]

Other than not being old enough to seriously think about being in a serious relationship, I would say that I just think it’s a lot of work. You are going to have to care for a whole other person both physically and emotionally. The thought that one of you may fall out of love also scares the crap out of me. I also really like my personal space so I would need someone who respects and understands that.

[19magic]

I think the fact that I self sabotaged myself, I never thought I was good enough and now I'm focusing on myself and being my best self, or rather becoming my best self so that when it happens or when I decide to join some apps I can put my best foot forward

[serious]

No, I have always been single and I wish to remain single for life. I wish to lead a loveless life.

That is my choice, my free will and yes I have plenty of reasons for this. Nothing is holding me back but by choice I wish to remain single for life.

[Shark_61695]

Yes...

I am not confident enough to ask someone out.
I don't see many people in general and live in the middle of nowhere with my parents.
I can't really afford to date.
I suck at small talk and messaging.
I get very few if any matches on the various dating apps I'm on.
I'm sure there are many more...

[OmNomaly]

Yes I do. It'll never happen though.

96% of the women that I meet that are interested in me. Usually turn out to be self absorbed, narcissistic, lack patience and common sense. (Not all just the ones I run into)
Emotional terrorists might be a good word.

[lilyanony1]

I'd love to be in a serious relationship but I don't think I have what it takes to be with others.
People are really exploitive and you have to know who you're dealing with.
Most times people don't know how to control that side of themselves and I don't trust that the person I meet will be any different...

[RichO22]

I do want to be in a serious relationship, but personally had no luck. Throughout my life I dated women who were selfish and cared about themselves, needy, or just wasn’t in same mindset as me. I’m no Mr. Suave guy only been in like 4 relationships in my life but I’m also very cautious guy. And also bad at signal and mentally a nervous wreck when it comes down to approaching women. But from what I learn as a kid and throughout my adult life I just don’t wanna settle with any woman and fall in a hole I can’t get myself out of. For time being I’m working on myself and focusing on bettering my mental mind cause I’m a nervous wreck. But hoping to meet a genuine woman that’ll like me for me and not what I have.

[Anonymous]

Yes I do. The biggest thing is my family. We have so many fuck ups rn that I'm too scared to start any commitment to anyone. They also aren't supportive with any guy I like because my mom wants me to marry this rich spoiled kid who is nice but i dont like spoiled rich kids who is still dependent to his mother at the age of 28. I also am a bit inexperienced with dating so I'm a bit scared and probably too cautious to go out there. I also want a guy who would support me with my dreams and career but my career means travelling a lot and living offshore with mostly guys so it would be difficult to find a guy who would understand and be comfortable with that and also I dont want to be selfish if he can't do that. 😢😢

[JSmuve]

The fact that there aren't any attractive, available women who are interested in me coming into my life due to my shitty luck and the pandemic. It seems like they'd all rather have a relationship with their phones or their reflections. Maybe one day, though.

[EmotionOfFear]

Yes. A lot. Especially at this age where I have my youth to travel the world and meet people, and form close relationships. What's holding me back? I'm hesitant and paranoid about everything, down to trivial matters in the people I'm interested in, all because of the red flags I didn't see prior with my ex and everything she did to me. Because of dating her in the first place, I feel like anybody I go for who is less than "perfect" is going to be a mistake. There feels like there's an insurmountable amount of risk with whoever I choose to try to be with.

[Anonymous]

This is going to be way too much information and I doubt anyone is going to read it but here you go, I couldn't fit everything into one response on here due to character limit:

https://imgur.com/er9DKmT

[Anonymous]

The fact that most guys are only there for sex, will definitely lie to you, lead you on and who knows that they might be showing the same romantic gestures to other women and saying the same words to them also?
Or they will simply fall out of love one day and start distancing themselves like nothing ever happened.

[FatherJack]

I have endured the hell of marriage , and don't even want to date , let alone chain myself down into a relationship again. No bitterness towards women , the main reasons are my BS tolerance is too low to " date " ( plus it's a VERY male heavy dating scene , single dads cannot compete in such a market ) little need for people , no more raging hormones , thankfully... & above all , peace is far more important to me. In summary , not interested.

[FriendlyEnigma]

No 😂 no i do not. For a while i thought i did, but then i met this girl during the Pandemic, literally the coolest person i've met in a while. We shared a ton of interests and she seemed super into me!.. which was super intimidating and i cut things off lol, i'm better off single

[clampfan101]

1. I’m really shy and not good at starting conversations. I’m not even good at small talk.

2. I don’t know how to drive yet, so my dad would need to take me somewhere to try to look for someone when it’s over. Maybe a local gamer group? I’m done trying online dating.

[Arivor]

Since I've been married for over 28 years... Yes, I want to be in a serious relationship, and thus I am in one that's going strong with no end in sight. There is nothing holding me back to ensure it stays that way.

[Soporific-san]

No, I don't have my shit together and wouldn't want to waste her time on a nobody. The biggest thing holding me back is depression and drugs. The pandemic only made it worst! God damn, what am I even doing anymore.

[Dreamy2020]

can't find anyone who is willing to be in a serious relationship. Most are interested in a hook up and doesn't want to get to know me as a person. Even the guy I thought liked me, ghosted me. Just have to leave it up to fate. Nothing much to do.

[Espresso-Grande]

I'm married, but in the past, the fear of losing my emotional security held me back for quite a while.

I think it was for two reasons, I feared losing my emotional security if I ended up being with the wrong guy. And secondly, if the relationship failed with a guy I loved.

[Anonymous]

I did up till a couple years. Ago. Now i see it as a virtual impossibility. I have too many strikes going against me for a woman to give me a chance. Then there's the other side of it. If they want me i'm not interested. So basically after years of trying i know it's not worth making a real effort for anymore.

[Midnight_Kiss]

Of course I to be a relationship, finding my happily ever after would be great but for some reason the only guys I attract are ones who see me as disposable, temporary or they just run scared because of my past.

[Amanda2]

The guy I fell for wants to play the field and I don’t know why I allowed him to string me along but not anymore. Basically I don’t set healthy boundaries

[Luna1998]

I do, but haven't find the right guy who would take it seriously with. Most of guys in my age range prefer friends with benefits and one night stands more than a committed relationship. I guess i wouldn't be in one soon since i haven't met one.

[Itsmekat]

Yes, I want a serious relationship with someone. But the only person I'm with currently doesn't want a relationship with me or anyone. His relationship is more of a "no strings attached relationship." I honestly hate it. Because I genuinely love him. The only thing that's holding me back from moving on is the fear of me being alone. The fear of never finding that spark with someone or anyone. The fear that I'll just be tossed to the side again. I'm stuck in this endless cycle I can't get out of.

[Anonymous]

I would like to be in a relationship or with someone at least date someone. No person has ever given me a chance. I'm always getting rejected by girls but I'm waiting and hoping I'll find someone and I'll let faith takes it course and maybe meet someone soon who would like me for me without judging based on the looks.

[sheikalana]

Yes, but covid-19 is holding me back and I'm far away from home so it's pointless for me to get in a serious relationship at the moment if I'm supposed to go back home at any time.

[Don-__-Don]

Yes, and nothing is holding me back. I want to be in a serious relationship one day, just not any time soon.

I want to reach a certain point in life before seeking another relationship.

[HartleyB]

Not really.. I have great friends and a best friend who lives with me now so I don't really need anything else and I think that is fine :)

[HedwigInABox]

Yes but I have a few personal problems that I'd like to sort out first before dedicating my time to someone else.

[testersite00]

it would be nice, i guess only thing holding me back is myself. but i can't find anyone like so that may be a problem too

[beebella]

I don't want to. I have to focus on getting my own life together first.

[Anonymous]

I want to be. But at the same time I don't want to burden another human with my shit. I feel like it would be unfair for anyone to end up with me. I'm that girl someone would settle for cause there's no one else. So I'd rather be alone. 👍🏼

[Daniel3035]

Love to.
Women literally and costs of dating costs of a house and how women just leave blank and boring responses and i'm always responding asking questions in a conversation she's there expecting me to lead but when it matter all of a sudden she's in charge.
I have better conversations with brick walls no lie one of them even responded with a knock think my neighbour was checking if I was ok.

[JCT666]

Well, I got out of a serious relationship earlier on this year, so I'm not all that excited about the thought of getting into one at the moment. I feel like I still have a lot of growing up to do, so I want to try better myself first in preparation for the next woman.

[Unit1]

I do want a beautiful woman to love and be loved by like 👩💕💕💕

my problem? Location. Language barriers. Conflicting cultural barriers. I still need to move back to Europe first.

[itzmera]

i'm not sure if I could handle a serious relationship. I have trust issues from the past... so maybe that's whats stopping me ig.

[Redstang88]

Definitely open to it, just don’t really have the time or energy right now with my current work situation

[Bratsondanielle]

I am in a relationship. We recently bought a house and are living 2getha 24/7

[Anonymous]

I'd love to be, but following recent unemployment and having to move back with parents short term to save and get back on my feet, I don't feel it'd be worthwhile just yet unfortunately.

[StrawberrySmoothie]

No not right now... because I just got out of one and I’m enjoying time by myself.

[pleasestopthis]

Not really, for me being single is very easy and comfortable. Having to deal with another person and his expectations really wears me out.

[Luvme66]

I dont want to be one... because the last time i did it threw me off the tracks when it ended soo NOPE

[prince350]

It has to be leading to marriage, house, children at this point. Which is a tad difficult to pin down for an artsy type who gets together (and apart) far too easily.

[Simplismilez]

I'm working on myself right now and thinking about if what I want from a relationship is attainable.

[WesBrewer]

It would be age for me, I want a serious relationship now but I don't want to get married till I'm out of college and I don't want to force my girlfriend to sit in anticipation for 4 years or more.

[AreWeHuman]

The only thing holding me back is finding someone I'm generally Interested in.

At the moment I'm taking a break from searching because it's time consuming and want to focus on other things.

[Meaningwarrior]

Yes I most definitely do want to be in a very serious healthy loving relationship
What's holding me back from that are as follows :
Finding the right person , accepting me and my small immediate family and me being accepted by her and her family

[invalid1]

Culture, finance, girls being assholes egoistic and choosy, me not taking life seriously and counting on passing out soon, uncertainties of future. And pornhub.

[lightbulb27]

I am in one and yes. I don't like being alone although I like alone time, I don't like being lonely. I do like being with my girlfriend and we live 10x more when I'm with her.

[Avicenna]

Yes, I do. The problem is finding a suitable partner. I learned with an ex last year that it's not possible to fix serious flaws, so I'm strict about what is, unfortunately, a long list of necessary dealbreakers for a long term partner.

[unkissme]

No. The thought of a serious relationship makes me sick actually. I like being my own person and making my own decisions without having to check in with a bae every goddamn minute.

[Liam_Hayden]

I am open to it.

Holding me back? Based upon my preferences, those who are willing are not worthy and those who are worthy are not willing.

[Guanfei]

I want one. But no one wants me. And since I'm pretty sure it's illegal to force a relationship... here we are.

[Paul09]

I do, and always will. Until I find it, or not. I'm most likely unintentionally am holding myself back.

[Cowboy6666]

single and still searching, nowadays I am searching through online because of corona ban.. can't find a right and serious partner still single