Why do people assume if a woman is dating a wealthy man, she must be a gold digger?

Question

My boyfriend comes from a very rich family and he is slightly older than me too meaning as soon as we started dating the gold digger label came along with it too.

People assume im a gold digger because when it's my birthday or Christmas he buys me expensive gifts but the rest of the year i don't expect nothing. Yes i have the privilege to be driven around and go out for fancy dinners and holidays (before covid) but they don't seem to realise i pay towards that too. It must all come out of my boyfriends pockets.

The funny thing is i actually earn more than my boyfriend doing a job i hate whilst he earns less doing a job he loves because he can and doesn't have to worry about not earning as much because he'll always have his families wealth to fall back onto just incase unlike myself.

People are constantly judging us for the life we have just because he is rich doesn't make him or me a bad person. He actually raises a lot of money and works for a charity helping adults with disabilities. He doesn't post it on his social media looking for gorly or anything. He's just there because he's passionate about it and that's actually what made me fall in love with him too not his money as he even kept it a secret from me at first

caring__1 · Accepted Answer

There will always be people eager to put you down, in hopes of pushing themselves up. It doesn't work more than momentarily, so they continue the behavior, hoping it will eventually stick. Generally, people who apply labels without first doing their homework and finding out the truth are jealous of what you have and resent not having it themselves. Gold diggers seek out rich people. It looks like you sought out caring people. The money was a double-edged sword you didn't expect nor seek. I understand how this can be annoying, but, due to the prevalence of women seeking money, it's not going to go away.

You know the truth, and that is all that matters. Generally, when we take things others say personally, it's a sign we believe there is some truth to the statement. If I told you that you had 14 legs, you'd see it as my problem and not take it personally. Accept that this is their problem and has nothing to do with you. As long as you treat people with kindness and respect, volunteer when there is value to what you have to offer (not just for publicity events), and don't look down on or talk down to others, people who matter will eventually see you for the person you are. Did Eleanor Roosevelt bask in the glory of prestige, power and wealth, or did she actively do all she could to help those in need? What do people remember her for?

Unfortunately, our society promotes conformity rather than uniqueness, so people tend to be judged based on how close they come to society's ideal. Not only are these ideals unrealistic, not meeting them only creates a society of people who feel insecure and defective. Be unique and special, and let the pettiness of others wash off your back.

Synikal · Accepted Answer

Define slightly older and you may have an answer why some think that way. In most cases we don't see how someone older would have so much in common with someone younger. Their friends understand them but still trying to understand you an can only see one of more reasons why you're around.

DWornock · Answer

Normally people assume that when there is a big difference in the wealth and social class of the families and if you are young and beautiful while he is considerably older and/or not near as attractive.

AllThatSweetJazz · Answer

I mean... it doesn't need mean it's the only thing you like about him, but I think you're kidding yourself if you say that lifestyle plays no part in attraction for you.

Snakeyes7 · Answer

While I don't agree with an outright accusation like that especially if it is from people who don't know her personally but I can see where they might be coming from because money is a major motivation to get with someone.

Paul09 · Answer

Well it all depends on your life style taste. If may appear that way. Do you have expensive taste? Gucci this Gucci that? And people always judge. Sometimes just out of jealousy.

JamesTorquay · Answer

Not always fair to think that but understandable to think that, but if they are the woman its crazy, I have had a couple opportunities to do that but I am honest and say the truth what i think about a girl, i don't play games

bklynbadboy1 · Answer

We don't just think that only when there a huge disparity in age and or looks

GAGSucksBalls1 · Answer

Cause it likely is If it's good enough to be true, it likely is true

Aiko_E_Lara · Answer

Same reason why people assume if a man is dating a hot woman, he is a shallow/player.

lonlynchi5 · Answer

Those people definitely are miserable and need company best thing I see that works for that look at them as if they don't exsist...

bamesjond0069 · Answer

How is he the wealthy one if you make more money?

robocop666 · Answer

only if he is ugly and 30 years older than her

Why do people assume if a woman is dating a wealthy man, she must be a gold digger?

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