What would you do if you found out your 16 year old was pregnant?

[just_a_potato]

How would you react if you came home to your 16 year old daughter confessing she's 4 months pregnant? Would you finding out she's 4 months along change your initial reaction? What would happen next, and would you get in contact with the father?

[Xoxocutekitty]

4 months js a long time to 'feel lied to.' So my immediate reaction is probably to feel defensive, get angry at myself that i didn't realize it someone was lying to me, and be panicked that i now have the burden on knowing about a potential ljfe altering burden.

a lot of the next steps will result from whether the boy and the boys parents are supportive or even in the picture, whether my daughter actually wants the kid (hey some women really do dream of becoming mothers at any age) and how can i help her. Id probably keep her from going to school and 'avoiding the conversation' because thats really what adulting is - having difficult conversations and recognizing that you have to give a little to get any.

I'd support her having the kid, and Id support her having an abortion. Id probably trash talk that boy if he walked out on her, but hopefully in this scenario, id have a husband who is loving and still around and hed be a fine example that not all boys are trash. Either way, she's going to be sad and mopey and hormonal. So ill eat grit where I have to, to get the answers, decisions, and action plans we need to 'figure it out'

[Vetis]

You must cry a lot

[DizzyDesii]

I’d be very disappointed. I will fuss like hell but I won't get physical nor would i ever kick the child out the house nor would i suggest abortion. I will be a good grandma. But She/he will be raising the kid regardless of if the other parent wants to remain involved. They will not be allowed to drop out of school nor do abortion/adoption. They will learn to multitask early because come on.. Many parents work, go to school, and raise their kids all at once. So this “teen” will have to take responsibility and do the same, just a little sooner. I won't make them get a job until summers (out of school so they can focus solely on class/parenting) or age 18+ (during college). However, they will go straight to school, come home and do their homework (while i play babysitter), and then they will be a parent. If the other parent wants to be involved, good for em, but they will not be living in my home with us. They can visit during the hours I am home, and the two of them will not be in a room alone. I will allow my child to live at my home with the kid until my kid is 24. If they have not finished college by 24, well they still gotta go

[Aguysopinion4799]

I would initially be surprised but I would not be angry at her because in that situation she doesn't need that kind of treatment, I would start by asking her who got her pregnant and how I can contact him so that I can talk to him face to face and ask if he is in a position where he can support the child, if it was due to sexual abuse I would comfort her and say we would report the person.

The next thing I would do is I would likely have a little bit of teasing to lighten the mood and then explain how I would support her and we would look for a financial support plan if the father could not manage it and if she wanted to abort the child I would understand fully but explain to her that if she was in a relationship it was also the guys decision as it is a joint thing.

I do remember people who got pregnant at that age in a relationship and they are still in a relationship now, supporting their child and that is lovely to see that both the mother and father at that age were able to build the courage to stick it through.

[Tstrbrainer]

I'll buy her favorite food (which is safe to baby, of course).

Talks come later, after she has calmed down. If she's keeping the baby, good for her, if she's not keeping it, good for her.
Rest, she will have to live with her choice, I'll support her anyways,

If the guy's not willing to take responsibility, he will pay parental support.

[Apple1996]

Try to support her in however she wants to handle it. Since I've been in this position I know exactly how it feels. The last thing I'd want to do is put any stress on the situation so supporting her decisions is the only thing I could do.

[MADIQ]

@Apple1996 , you have been here long enough can you please answer my question in my profile, i would love that.

[Apple1996]

@MADIQ what questions

[MADIQ]

@Apple1996 in my profile.

[btbc92]

Tell her to get married. You made your choice, then you get married. I tell everybody wait until marriage to have sex. Because the moment you have sex you already married in God's eyes. You having sex outside of marriage guarantees nothing with a man. At least in marriage, if he does something wrong you have your legal right. If you did something wrong, he has his legal rights. If you're going to open up your legs before you are married you are now an adult and you are held responsible. I am not raising somebody else's kid. That may be my grandchild, but at the end of the day that is her child. She needs to speak with the father, and they need to work it out. Whatever her decision is she must figure it out with him now. Because if not she's going to have to find somewhere to go with this guy if she doesn't want to listen to me. Because now he abandoned her because she made a decision she shouldn't have made, then all I can do is help her to get what she needs done to help take care of that child but at the end of the day she's going to be primarily responsible. Because unless she was raped that was her personal choice.

[jaybee281]

Women's problem nowadays is they accept fucking a guy without having that commitment - very very bad deal - they're the only ones losing sleeping with douchebags

[btbc92]

@jaybee281 Dude. I am a virgin. I never touched a man. Never dated a man, believe in God, getting my education, working, etc. Where am I sleeping with douchebags while guys like you are watching porn and lusting after every woman you find sexually attractive. Get real. Your not that great either.

[btbc92]

That's what happens when you decided not to marry the girl instead of sleeping with a 12 and 13-year-old. COME ON!!! They believe your lies, sleep with you, and then your mad when it didn't work out or get pregnant. Women listen to men. We are NOT sleeping or looking to have sex with the same sex, unless their gay, and neither are we sleeping in incest with a sibling, parent or GRANDPARENT let alone extended FAMILY. A girl NATURALLy wants to be MARRIED. She is having sex because everybody was told the lie about being more sexually experiences or else you will get divorce, unhappy marriage and sex life. STUDIES have proven all of that to be false! The more parents you have, if done this before 18 and shack up before marriage and that also includes having children out of wedlock, your chances of marriage DROPS. Especially with each sex partner. Mostly for women. Women cannot get pregnant on their own. And the only want a woman loses her virginity is a man's penis to the vagina. NOW you have sex toys and all kinds of ways! Better for you as a man to have dignity and not sleep with a woman you aren't married to than to create marriages in God eyes and then divorcing them by messing with another girl. Not ALL girls deliberately just sleep with men just because. They are the MINORITY. And the minority of them get pregnant or dumped or called the so-called slut at middle or high school. It is not the girl who loses her virginity in trust and then gets shames for knowing. Even if she knows. She THOUGHT she was doing the right thing. She's been lied to. As do men when women used them too. It's SAD. And I would be damned if I have somebody hurt my daughter. But if she wants to rebel, mom cannot HELP, you now. The law wouldn't even permit me to without forcing it against my rights by law because of what she chose to do.

[btbc92]

I want her married and happy, not stuck with a child, a no-good guy, and to be miserable and expect me to do something she shouldn't have done. I never had premarital sex, I could have done it, but I didn't. People have CHOICES. Age has zip to do with it. I know their mindset. Even at 8 girls were talking about sex. DREAM ON. I knew Russian girls having sex with 17-year old by 12. They sexualized young and the parents permit it.

You men didn't want to get married. You don't want to wait. You wanted to play the field. You made your bad. Live with it. I do not have to have sex with a nonvirgin be if it's rare when it doesn't have to be or not. EVERYBODY has CHOICES. So who are you to judge? Is your sexual history clean? Are you a virgin? Did you wait for marriage? Let's not get to that conversation.

[jaybee281]

@btbc92 Last time I watched porn was more than 3 years ago - I'm guilty of being a douchebag though never said I wasn't - Difference being I don't get judged if I fuck and leave - bigger difference is when I don't fuck women think "I'm too nice" - if they so want me to do it to keep my manhood intact then yea I'll do it fuck being treated like I'm some weak shy dude - I adapt and literally had nothing to lose except what for me was the respect that women didn't want me to have for them (most "douchebags" can relate) - Though we both know it's the opposite for women - the more you fuck the less valued you are - it ain't about the idea of sex it's about the consequences of it..

[btbc92]

I don't have to gloat. People make mistakes. But sex is COSTLY. And it is not a joke. You can bring forth life or destroy life. You people are misusing sex. You have no idea the power it has, and it's more than just physical. You can change destinies with it. Do you people not realize the POWER that is literally in your HANDS that is a God-given GIFT! Look at the movie SOULS. You are transversing TIME to bring forth another from a different place into the physical realm! To create a body you need an egg, and a man's sperm to create a NEW LIFE. God makes the soul, knows the soul, brings the soul to whom he sees fit for the life ahead, and we are grown as a fetus into the womb and the womb brings forth "FRUIT". The Bible says this: A child can be a blessing as the vineyard, or a made a curse. When you do that, you're damning your own children and offspring. But thank God, through childbirth the mother is saved. Her life for their life. Unless God had his reasons to permit it, people are playing God and don't know it all for what?: Pleasure. Your not just potentially getting children or disease. But soul ties. You are becoming ONE with that person and you live with that soul as long as they live no matter where you are. This why women relive those sexual experiences and can't let go in bed with another man. She has to secretly live with it. And when a man leaves her it leaves a scar spiritually and sexually. She will never tell you because it is a woman's burden. You men do not have to deal with that. You have power to detach and attach at WILL. ONLY if you DESIRE to attach, otherwise you can just breed, we have to live with the scars, why do you think the most in suicides is not men, it's women and young girls? Especially in America? For this very reason. All a woman wants is love. Love births sex within. Yet you want the love and the pleasure and yet you still don't know how to have sex. Sex is like playdoe. You never know what you can make with it.

[btbc92]

If you think that of women, you don't need a woman. You don't treat human beings like cattle. Worse than cattle.

[btbc92]

You have no place to judge. Your the way you are because you don't love yourself and you lack a self. That is destructive and somebody ends up dead because of it. Be responsible for yourself like I had to be responsible for myself. I love me for me and How God created me. Nothing wrong with me. Something wrong with people who don't know how to love others. You do not deserve maximum punishment for being a sensitive man. But you will be judged by what you choose to do with it when it transgressed against another. This is where love, grace, compassion and forgiveness, and salvation come from. You need to understand God's love, ask for forgiveness, seek SALVATION through Jesus for he has shown us the way, have compassion for the world, and forgive yourself! Any grace given to you, don't take it for GRANTED. Basics of how to be a human being.

[jaybee281]

I agree with every word you're saying - literally - Might make me a hypocrite - but I don't care - I've had a girl go talk about how I'm a pussy for not daring to kiss her - I just didn't want to but go tell that to your entire classroom - no one would believe you and that's it you're there hearing people teasing you about how to kiss and to not be afraid - Another girl i really really really cared about - never kissed her (again out of respect) we were both 18 - for me that was the night where I would kiss her because I did love her - for her it was the night in which she decided to ruin me and tell my closest friends that I'm a creep and that someone should teach me how to behave - just because in her head I rejected her when I was touching her then started talking to a close female friend who I haven't seen in 6 months and spent the majority of the night with - after all that reputation fucking she asked me:"when you were touching me was it just casual or like more serious like you felt something?" as if like she didn't fuck everyone's perception of me including other girls - no thank you Got depressed for half a year and moved to another country for a year - I know the truth as much as you do but most people don't value what you're saying - maybe in theory they do but look at their actions they don't - different standards hold both men and women - and both have their sacrifices and in this age - mine would have been to what in my mind was respecting women..

[btbc92]

@jaybee281 Man. You have choices. You either live with them or start a new. You do not have to accept the life they want to put on you. But you're not doing yourself good service by being like that and you do nothing. It's hard, but not impossible learning to form your own happiness without having to deal with these crazy people. That girl is lost, nothing you could have done about it. That girl did what she did in evil. And you were manipulated and abused. And you need to forgive yourself for it.

[jaybee281]

I can't change - I've tried many fuckin times - You know that feeling when your heart presses and goes down your stomach? That's every time I think about stopping this - I can't do it - I know what I could lose because I've been there - you say it doesn't do me any good - People are so shallow nowadays it did everything to me - even more women like me now (even those that are very hot and know the value of sex) - men admire me because most can't have sex with a hot woman and besides that thing from high school no one has shit on me - Get the attention of women and the admiration of men and that's it i got my social life handled - why would I mess with it - makes me question the difference between my values and human nature from what I've experienced - I despise this conversation forget about it - By the way middle aged white men lead suicide rates - men in total kill themselves many more times than women as well (check rates from 1984 to 2016 haven't seen newer ones)..

[btbc92]

@jaybee281 Dude. It is still a choice. Yes, you can. It's a choice to or not. You made your life like that, so you decide if you want to continue to live it. If one of my friends can go from having men every day for loneliness to getting married and finding him, so can you.

[jaybee281]

Just forget about it - thanks for the talk

[jgokgotit]

First, I would comfort her and let her know I will be happy to be a grandfather. However, I would tell her that she needs to woman up and take responsibility for her choice. I will help her, but it is up to her to raise the child. I see no point in punishing her, making her feel bad about it. However, I will also reemphasize that members of our family do not condone the killing of an innocent life just to erase a mistake. I'd make her take full responsibility for her actions but would also help her. I would do my best to contact the father, but I know there are limits to what I can do. I would find out who it is from my daughter, then ask him and his parents to meet with me and my daughter and all of us will figure out a solution. I grew up without a father and do not wish that on my kids or grandkids. If I failed to get ahold of the father, then we would raise the kid without him.

[Máiiréad]

Not going to praise her but shit happens. 🤷🏻‍♀️ So I’d help raise the kid. My mom pretty much did that when my sister got knocked up at 19/20. If my sister was that age and needed help, a 16 year old is definitely going to need help. I’m not making anyone have an abortion. That’s not my call but I will help support whatever they want to do. If they want to give up the child for adoption, that is their choice. But I will be okay with help raising the child. I personally find children to be blessings, even in untimely circumstances. Babies are innocent.

[Phoenix98]

At first I'd be furious but after I calmed down I would talk to my daughter calm her down and I would go and talk with the kid who did it and I would make sure his parents knew if they didn't already.

Then I would make sure that the kid took responsibility for his actions he was moronic as hell and he's gonna take reasonability and take care of the kid they both are, both getting jobs both are taking care of and raising that kid.

And if they said they weren't gonna take care of it then it would at least get adopted but it's not getting aborted.

[slatyb]

I would hope that my daughter would know that she could tell me she was pregnant the second she found out, instead of waiting until she was 4 months along. So I would first be thinking what I had done or said that made her afraid to tell me earlier. Then I would ask her what she wants to do -- does she want to terminate the pregnancy, or carry it to term? If she doesn't want to terminate, then does she want to raise the baby or put it up for adoption? At four months there's not much time left to make a decision.

[ObscuredBeyond]

After the initial shock, I'd talk logistics with her. I'd also reach out an olive branch to the baby daddy. And hope he doesn't do anything else stupid. I'd contact his family when I felt safe doing so. I'd also want to know what their thought processes were in the heat of the moment. The usual rationalizations , or some external pressure? I'd treat external pressure sources with the most contempt.

"So, Audrey, you think it's funny, telling Hali to bang Roger to prove she's not a lesbian? Well, you're 'joking around' just made their lives needlessly difficult. Tell you what? You can sell that car your dad gave you on your sweet 16, and pay Hali's hospital bill! Show Roger you can be responsible too, capice? Dares and blackmail are expensive! Didn't anyone ever teach you that? No? What is the use of schools, if you can't even figure that out? Feeling a little gypped by the taxman yet? I do!"

[rainbowbi]

I'm not a mom or anything , I'm 20 and had a pregnant young sis. I think you should hug her and tells her you love her and every thing is okay. tells her about her options like keeping baby , adoption etc. YES contact the father because she did not make this baby alone.
but in general be supportive , inform her and talk to her more.
my parents did not do any of this with my sister they were so angry and mad at her that she decided to get an abortion by herself and she did , but since last year that this happened she is depressed and sad.

[Cicero79]

There are many people who were born to teenage mothers.

I'm willing to bet most are happy to be alive.

[Blackgirlasja]

First off, comfort her and let her know I’m here for her. Secondly, see where her head is.. often parents believe in making the decision for the child.., but your child made her first adult decision when she opened her legs, so allow her to make her next decision. Thirdly, arrange to meet with the father of her child and explain to them, I am only the mediator. They will have pay for their decision, whether it is an abortion (they are paying), if they plan to keep the child (they are paying for it) . I’m just just moral and emotional support.


I know my parents wouldn’t support me in any way and I’m grown but I don’t want to be that sort of parent to my children.

[Bee-Hatch]

I'd have a discussion with her. Lay out her options and expectations. Remind her the discussion that had already been had about contraception. Point out there's no such thing as an unexpected pregnancy. And give her time to mull over her options.
Next I'd go and have a discussion with the parents of the father. If the conception was before she was over legal age I'd consider going and having a discussion with the police. Then finally as abortions illegal after 24 weeks here in the UK find out what her decision is. 4 months gives a 6 week window to terminate if that's her choice. If she keeps it. She's a lot of growing up to do in a real short time frame, grown up decisions have grown up consequences.

[greektragedy]

I would be disappointed but immediately put my disappointment to the side to discuss with her what to do next. I would ask her what does she feel is best and only put in my input if she asks. I would hope she would want to give the baby up as I don't believe in abortions for many reasons but the main one being that it is very risky in health especially at her age but I wouldn't want her to have such a huge responsibility as raising a child at 16.

Ultimately, the decision will be up to her and I would support her in whatever decision she decides to make but I would advise her not to do the abortion because I know how mentally and physically damaging it can be (a few of my friends had one and regrets it to this day).

[AdithyaR]

Of course I'd be upset but that wouldn't be the thing to focus on. First would be to console and let her know I support her.
Then I'll tell her about the pros and cons of both carrying the pregnancy and abortion. Whatever decision she takes, I'll support it.
If she chooses to abort, I will make the necessary arrangements and make sure she feels safe and comfortable about it.
If she chooses to carry it out, I'll help her my best and make sure I do everything I can.

I'm assuming this situation to be a result of a consensual relationship between her and a guy (her being rape victim would be totally different situation). I'd also contact the biological father in hopes of checking whether he wishes to be involved and contribute for child however he can. If not, I'd console my daughter about that too.
I guess that's all I can do.

[Meldrum]

An interesting question. First of all, have the parents given her "the talk"? No, not the birds and bees. Hopefully, that was done ages ago. The talk about responsibility, made sure she was on the pill or some other type of contraceptive? Ask why she waited 4 months to tell you and what does she want to do? There are options but 4 months into a pregnancy cuts some of those options down. Point out that if she keeps the child, no adoption or abortion, life will be complicated and she might not be able to do all of the things she had planned for her life. (by the way: I had this talk with both of my girls, well before 16 years old).

[ShadezMcgee]

Would probably process those words and sit in my garage with a drink to calm down and think about how to apporach the issue. Knowing me I would probably get angry at the fact she withheld that information and that she is pregnant so young to begin with, but I would still love her regardless.

Once I got my bearings I would talk to her and figure out what happened and then go have a talk with the soon to be father and his dad as well. I am not for abortion, so she would carry the baby and during that time it will be her job to decide to give it up for adoption or keeping it. If she decides the latter, I will help to an extent, but she will ultimately be responsible for her baby, her life, education and finances.

[ChrisMaster69]

Main thing no matter the country or culture is to give emotional support.

you then need to discuss keeping or not.

I grew up with this, as teenage pregnancies were pretty common (13 upwards).

keeping means potentially not doing uni, not having a certain career path

having means you have a bundle of joy.

a lot depends on support she can expect from family, room in house, house prices, impact on family income.

it is not an easy choice and no one on here realistically can give you an answer, only opinions.

[eileen_ruth]

Let her have a choice and tell her to get on birth control next time. I'd maybe encourage adoption? Fuck it this is hard. I'd help raise her kid so she could finish school.

My cousin did this and didn't get child support bc she was a strong independent woman and... sigh

[Cicero79]

Bingo!!!

Your cousin was a strong woman at an early age.

[eileen_ruth]

@Cicero79 she was! She's still raising her little boy, and he's doing so good. Definitely adjusting well

[Cicero79]

Good to hear.

[Alexandrubaschet08]

I will make huge scandal and schream and i will go crazy and tell her a lot of theribe stuffs when i finde out.
I will obligate her to keep going to school whnyile she become 18 if she want my help, i will not care she have huge belly.
Put her to keep the guy around her life to take care of the kid because afther she become 18 i will not take care and help her whit her mistake. If that guy run i will finde him and beat the shit out of his balls.
Afther she become 18 she is on her own and she can come back to us when she will be able to handle to grow the kid and have the education i wanted her to have.
Because i will not accept such a stupid mistake in my future family

[AmericanGuy123]

At first I would honestly be upset and disappointed, even angry. But, if there was ever a time when a teen needs her parent's to be caring, understanding, and supportive it would be at a time like this. A pregnant 16 year old is already under tremendous stress as it is. I would want my daughter to know that she can always rely on her parents for support, guidance and love.

[just_a_potato]

Oh wow... Daddy.

[Lunatic1]

The delay would change my reaction a bit, but not much. As much as I hope my daughter will not end up in this situation that young, I would be there for her. As for the father, I would make sure he knows about the pregnancy but I wouldn't force him to be involved. If he wants to be a deadbeat, so be it. My wife, assuming I have one, and I will help her raise the kid and make sure she can become her own person.

[just_a_potato]

Wow someone who isn't willing to throw the minor they have been raising for the last 16 years out of their house to an unknown despise. Charming.

[Lunatic1]

Because it is what would be right. Blood is forever, and to let something get in the way of that means you failed to be a good person.

[sobg1124]

I would take her to get an ultrasound, and let her hear her baby's heartbeat, so, hopefully, prayerfully, she would not get an abortion. Then, I would encourage her strongly to consider adoption. I would make contact with the father and his parents, personally, and demand payment for any/all expenses. And if she decided not to adopt, that would mean total support until the child is of age. I would not go lightly on him. Finally, I would forgive my daughter for the poor decision she made.

[just_a_potato]

You are a very kind man sir, especially for a situation as rough as teenage pregnancy

[sobg1124]

Thank you, just a potato.

[Z1pTD]

This is so the perfect response!

[sheikalana]

I would support her as much as I can in this situation. I would ask her if she wants to keep it or not and according to her decision we would take necessary measures. However, if she decided to keep it I would tell her that once the baby is born she needs to find a job because I won't be responsible for her expenses.

[Guido]

I would be sad and disappointed that she didn't feel comfortable enough to talk to me about it right away. I would give her all the support she needs but I would also want to know who the guy was. Then I would load the shotgun, go find the little prick and blow his nuts off for having sex with a 16 year old girl. As a Dad, I'm protective.

[just_a_potato]

Interesting, the older the user, the more likely they are to offer support and feel compassion towards the situation. Hmm.

[IveGotNoName]

I'd be shocked. I wouldn't be mad or yell, but I certainly wouldn't congratulate her. I'd of course sit my daughter down and explain to her, why this is not ideal. I'd tell her what's happened has happened and that I'll help her get through it. After that I'd contact the parents of the father, and I'd make sure that they don't let their son walk away from my daughter and the child.

[Laura85]

Many moons ago my sister fell pregnant when she was 16/17. Being old and religious my parents reacted very badly and made her life do so difficult for a few years. She had to give up on college and my dad did his best to scrape enough money together to get us all an education. I swore I would never make my kids feel that bad.

[Kaneki05]

Just say "i hope you studied Gilmore Girls well" lol. Guess she would just have grow up fast and learn how look after her kid properly, she didn't get aborted it so that means she is willing to parent it with all responsibility's unless she's putting it up for adoption. And if she wasn't thinking about protection before she probably wanted this, or extremely dumb either way she has to live with her choices.

[Jjpayne]

We would take it one step at a time, acknowledging too that it is high school and it is dumb to say that people don't have sex there. So... I'd ask what she wanted to do and how it happened. It is really about being there to support her and help her through the process afterwards

[pleasestopthis]

A pregnant teen must feel anguished and horrified, especially if she waited 4 months to tell me, so I think I wouldn't reprimand her straight away.
I'd support her, I'd try to help her so she can move on with her life and care for the baby at the same time. I wish things were not like that, but there's no point crying over spilt milk.

[K-I-S-S]

Adoption would cross my mind. Other than that not much.

Would just remind her that one last time how much she fucked up and she better go get a job and work some while she still can. Because she will now work for the next 20 years, if not more.

Ask about the father and contact his parents or him if he is 18. Work up a child support system or a tiny house living solution in the garden for those 2 fuckers, depending how they get along.

[Vetis]

Give her nutrients because she's young and is still growing, which means her body requires an extraordinary amount of nutrition already, and even more with a baby to nurture.

Teen mothers are at more risk to give birth to defective babies ("reee, babies are never defective!!") Than are mothers over 35, Because of being depleted in basic nutrition. Amino acids, fats, minerals, vitamins, are all necessary for the proper synthesis and maintenance of enzymes, cells, tissues, and organs.

[Vetis]

If she's wants an abortion, i would force her to get sterlized as well, cause she is a moron with a demonstrated laxking of the capacity for taking responsibility, and she should not be allowed to make a serious mistake teice.

[JuliaStyles]

Are you sure about that? It would mean no grand children for you or a boy to carry on the family name.

[Vetis]

@JuliaStyles i dont care about sluts.

[JuliaStyles]

Oh I'm sure you have known a few. You are only 20 and you are talking about a possible daughter you won't have for years, if at all. When you have a kid you will love them and protect them, not throw them to the dogs for making a mistake. It takes more than a few mistakes to make a girl a slut. Maybe you would be better off without kids?

[Vetis]

1 mistake is a slut

[JuliaStyles]

And how many women have you gotten pregnant? Do you date "sluts"?

[Vetis]

Sympathizer

[EyebrowChewie]

present her my darth maul lightsaber that glows red.
Then get out my luke skywalker lightsaber and have an all out fight to the death until she chops my hand off.
Then say "nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!"

You will have to wait for Return of the Chewie to know what happens next..

[Majesty101]

🤣🤣

[JuliaStyles]

Maybe better would be a fight with the baby's father and chop off his impregnator?

[just_a_potato]

"Impregnator" lol

[EmmaMary]

Initially I would offer all the help, comfort and advice that I possibly could.

[EmmaMary]

@just_a_potato I do hope and pray that this is not you in this situation.

[Agape93]

See, this is why I say you’re a peach and a much nicer person lol

[EmmaMary]

@Agape93 And this why I keep repeating that "It Takes One To Recognise One" ❤

[Agape93]

Awww ❤️❤️🥰

[just_a_potato]

No no it isn't about me my boyfriend and I aren't having sex until I turn 18... And even then it would be occasional and protected, as I know what my parents will do to me if I become this scenerio hahaha 😅. Thank you.

[EmmaMary]

@just_a_potato Thank you so much for putting my mind to rest, and for now knowing that you will be extremely sensible in taking all precautions and protection when you do decide to give yourself to your boyfriend.
Please do take care and stay safe.

[errorgoodnameunfound]

Immediately find out where tf I went wrong and look into abortion/adoption possibilities. Also, I would consider my wife's influence on her and maybe consider divorce if I find out she has a part to play, as I'd likely not be the sole reason for it. Any complaints about abortion/adoption from my wife would mean immediate divorce considerations.

[jaybee281]

I would throw her out when she turns 18 - Fatherless homes and raising either a son or a daughter without a father is a real fuckin problem that people still don't get - promiscuity at its finest - talk about thugs or emasculated men and daddy issues - and yes she must talk to the father how the hell do you have a kid without a commitment with a dude - he doesn't care - Men hold the keys to commitment women hold the keys to sex - those keys have been extremely cheap as of late - hurting your son's or daughter's quality of life and personality - all the while hurting your own chances at getting a new partner - try telling a guy oh hey yea i like you too I can't wait for you to meet the kids - single moms have it worst - he'll bounce like he was never -there - I'll give you the benefit of the doubt of a hit and run - value your virginity as a woman that's all you got...

[just_a_potato]

There are so many things wrong with this, but I value all opinions fortunately so I'm going to leave this passive aggressive comment to rethink your thoughts on this subject instead, sir.

[jaybee281]

What were the wrong things that I said? I would love to discuss that - might help myself rethinking my thoughts through it, ma'am

[123lucy]

Jesus wtf

[just_a_potato]

@jaybee281 there's too much to unpack here. And as much as I like a good debate I have a feeling i'll be incredibly biased. Just please don't have kids. 💀

[jaybee281]

@just_a_potato sometimes I do sound more blunt than I'd like to be - but I didn't even mean harm - All of it was advice because the only one whose left losing is the woman - most men leave and wouldn't give half a fuck - she raises her son alone and he suffers same goes for her daughter - Same goes if only the dad was raising them both need each other - so don't do it in the first place - and my daughter if I have one hopefully will know the value of what I'm saying because I hate abortions

[just_a_potato]

I understand what you are saying, however I believe throwing your daughter out on the street with a kid won't do her much good either. Of course it's your child and your life, but you should at least give the kid a chance to pick herself up and get a job while knowing she's safe at home. You know? As they say it takes two to tango and more often than not, the blame is put on the one who is pregnant instead of the one who got them pregnant.

[hasdrubal164]

jaybee is correct men hold the keys for commitment, women have either accept that or be single for the rest of their lives caus they struggle laying down their guard down or have trust issues 🤷‍♂️ 🤷‍♂️ c

[just_a_potato]

@hasdrubal164 so what exactly are you saying, sir?

[jaybee281]

They are both to blame obviously - but again it all goes back to whom has more to lose - much more to lose in this scenario and that's the woman - It's like the rich middle aged dude marrying a very young gold digger after being warned about it time and time again - then gets divorced and loses half his shit - one of the reasons middle aged men peak those suicide rates - Saying that it's a mistake and that it happened takes away all the past actions and talks and context and just leaves you with the act - all the context in which I would have taught her what I know and made sure she gets it - I'm not saying she doesn't do anything sexual - just don't lose your virginity with a guy because you have too much to lose when it comes to that - All the rich guy's power lies in having money and not giving the gold digger a commitment (but he doesn't know that) - all the girl's power lies in her virginity and not giving it away to some lying fuck (but she doesn't know that) - My daughter will know that and if she acts on it after I told her that it's wrong and gave all my real reasons - from her suffering to her child's suffering and she still acted on it - then she clearly seems like she's able to make her own decisions...

[Daniela1982]

Ground her for 5 years until she is 21. Find the kid that did it and give him the hospital bill for child birth and the lawyer's bill for paternity test and child support. Put an add in the school paper congratulating the kid on becoming a father soon.

[hellacray]

Assuming I have a daughter and that she got pregnant through concentual intercourse. Also assuming she decides to keep it.

I would talk to the guy's parents and force them to marry. If the parent don't agree with my proposal I may need to open up a can of whoop ass.

Cause I know for sure I ain't taking care of my daughter's mistake.

[likelyOK]

I actually really like that approach

[mindNsoul]

I think no one can predict your own parents reaction. However, bad or good the initial reaction is not a problem if you thought it up. They most likely will stand by your side and calm down later. Don't over think it. Everything will turn out okay eventually.

The only way they'd get extremely upset is if the dad was an adult who took advantage of you. That's different.

[Sweetener_]

First I would slap the heck out of her, because I definitely didn't raise her to live a fornicating life, then I would talk to the guy and the parents of the guy, and make sure he takes responsibility for his child. Then I would take care of my daughter and keep my eyes on her and teach her her self worth and value. That she's worth more than a good excuse my language fuck from her little boyfriend.

[Alwayreckles93]

How about you say that will never happen because you will educated your kid on sex. You teens seriously

[Sweetener_]

Of course I would educate her on sex, but education is not just enough. You also need self control. Temptations do happen, if my child doesn't grow close to Christ things like these are bound to happen. So it's something I'm going to have to pray abou too.

[Sweetener_]

*about

[Alwayreckles93]

No a days especially young teens don't care about God or even think that having sex is a huge sin. This what I hate about my generation and the younger generation they think it's all cool but once huge responsibly happen. Look what happen to Jamie Lynn spears when she ended up pregnant. She tough it was all cool and popular until bom pregnant.

[Sweetener_]

Yes, young teens don't care about God, but my child will.

[Alwayreckles93]

T
Ell about it. I feel ashamed of my own generation. Lets be real people born in the 1970's and 1980's were actually the good example well behaved kids. Now a days people my age and yours no longer have respect at all.

[Sweetener_]

I know, it's sad...

[Wintergrace]

I would discuss with her what she was planning to do with her life (keep, adoption, etc). Then I would encourage her to seek a GED and focus on working until the baby came. I would also let the parents of the father know.

[Flower7]

I would be supportive and then help her with the child. I would understand that the reason she waited so long to say anything was because of fear of judgement, so I wouldn't give her a hard time about how far along she was.

[chocolatepenguin1]

I would ask her what happened as she may have been raped. Or the appropriate action depending on the answer. I would fully support her not matter what she choice she makes. She is my daughter after all and I love her.

[JuneLady]

I would cry with her first thing. She needs my support.
As for the father, it depends on his age. Either way, I'd contact him and plead for him to stick around, keep the child safe

[likelyOK]

I would see if she was willing and able to put it up for adoption. If not I would talk to the parents and try and see if he will marry her. Even if it does not work out it offers her more security.

[iseekpinetrees]

I'd be okay with it. I'd take her to the dr right away so we can see how the baby's doing. Then ask about the father n such.

[worldscolide]

I would find out from her what she wanted to do and support that, if the person that got her pregnant was over 2 years older than her, in my state thats the limit when someone is under 17, I would see to it that person spent a lot of time in prison.

[JuliaStyles]

He can't pay child support in jail. Don't you think your daughter would be half responsible for the pregnancy?

[worldscolide]

@JuliaStyles Irrelevant. If he commits statutory rape he gets to pay. He will either go to prison, or i will end his life my self. there is no middle ground here. I can't believe you would be ok with statutory rape. I feel sad for you.

[jekprotecc]

Send her far away to have the baby in another part of the country, she'll put it up for adoption then move back here and try to pick up the pieces of her life, continue on as before and try to salvage her future. My daughter has a trust fund and its for law/medical school and she better not get pregnant that's all I have to say. Luckily she is way too smart to let some asshole get into her panties and mess up her future.

[jaybee281]

I was about to lose hope in mankind's logic - Finally a good answer - especially the last sentence

[lucas262]

Oh. That guy would marry her at least he's payment something if he's older im getting him for the pedo he is.

I'll find a way to fuck with him till he man's up.

Her? Id be disappointed but really nothing would make me stop loving her. He kid is my grand kid I mean what could I do?

[Citizenkirk]

Be there with her, for her, and hold her, as we catch our breath, get her bearings, and figure things out.

[Waldoe]

I would hug her and tell her that we would get through it, and That I loved her. The rest is not important. After reassuring her, maybe up to a week later, I would ask what she would like to happen, listen to her. And give her advice if she seems to need it. She is SUDDENLY a woman now... she needs to grow into that role

[Daniela1982]

So would you go after the daddy for child support? And no, she is not a woman as 12 year old girls get pregnant too. But she would need lots of support.

[Waldoe]

@Daniela1982 YES.. the "daddy" has to be responsible for his actions and the baby

[Daniela1982]

@Waldoe At least we can agree on something.

[Waldoe]

@Daniela1982 probably more than you realize

[hahahmm]

Ask how many jobs she and her boyfriend are going to work to pay for that baby.

[JuliaStyles]

@hahahmm Well, there goes her teenage years to become a mother. You know she couldn't work as who would be taking care of baby? I guess you are volunteering. Paying for child care ( babies have to be a certain age for that) would cost more than she would probably make.

[hahahmm]

@JuliaStyles Oh, stop. If you're old enough to make a baby you're old enough to figure out how to provide for it along with your boyfriend. If you don't want adult responsibilities then don't make a baby.

[JuliaStyles]

I take it you don't have kids. If you do heaven help them if they ever make a mistake. When did you start having sex and did you always use a condom?

[hahahmm]

@JuliaStyles Responsibility is a word. Look it up. It's not your parent's job to be your free babysitter even tho some grandparents are dumb enough to do that for entitled kids. IF a kid is 100% responsible that's a different story. If a kid tried to make me raise their baby while they party/show bad judgement I would give them two choices: get out or give custody to me. Period.

You'll get it when you wise up. Maybe in 20 years.

[Agape93]

Ultimatum.


1. She decides to abort it, I’ll pay for it myself.


2. The father and his family will keep it at their house, because I don’t want it in my house nor will I care for the little shit.

[Nmalinova]

Love her and support her! That's it! If she wants an abortion ok, if she wants the baby treat both as your own!

[Cicero79]

What you said was oxymoronic.

Abortion no problem.

Keep the baby/treat it as your own.

Aborting a baby or keeping it as your own are polar opposite trains of thought.

[ChrisMaster69]

@Cicero79
Reread the sentence and follow the English and grammar, there is a comma.

A person has a choice, in this case it’s 3 choices.
Keep
Abortion
Adoption

But as @Nmalinova was referring to, it’s sbout support and being there for here, help with the choices, but choices can be polar opposites,

[jgirl99]

I would be angry that she felt like she could not confide in me, and come to me for support as her mother, but other than that id ask her one simple question. "What do you wanna do honey?"

[Anonymous]

Wait a min. I had a 16 year old daughter? But whose the Daddy?🤔

[just_a_potato]

Anyone you want him to be 😏

[modeve]

One's reaction depends upon the culture where one lives. It may be normal for some while horrible and degrading for others.

[DWornock]

I would talk to her, tell her that I love her, reassure her that it is not that big of deal, and ask her what she wants to do and if she wasn't sure, I would explain her options. And, tell her that there no hurry to make a decision.

[bamesjond0069]

If the father was older and mature and going to be a good man to her id be happy!

If it was some shit hole id have to be the man for her because she's never going to get a good man as a single mom, only shit. So id have to be the dad to the kid instead of grandpa.

[cth96190]

I would give her a big daddy hug, then ask her to tell me about it.
After that, I would support her in every way.

[Avicenna]

Well, I'd be very upset, but I'd give her a crash course on parenting and contact his parents/guardian to talk about his responsibilities.

[Anonymous]

Tell her to abort it. If not then get out or just don't bother me with your mistake.
She's not entitled to get anything from me if she didn't cared enough about her family and SOLD HERSELF to a stray man.
She decided to betray my trust and is shameless enough to make my life more difficult by expecting me to take care of her shit?

[Philyouup]

getting pissed off would accomplish nothing. she is my daughter, i love her, she like the rest of us isn’t perfect. so forgive the mistake and try to support her.