Boyfriends mother wants me to go on birth control and boyfriend agrees?

[Anonymous]

So like the title suggests my boyfriends mother keeps butting in our relationship by talking about birth control and my boyfriend agrees. I understand why, but it makes me feel bad about myself (Also creeped out that they talked about my body behind my back and about our sex life.). We both agreed that we don't want kids at the moment, so you would think it's a no brainer! Get an IUD and boom pound town. But why am I so hesitant (This is the first serious relationship i've had.)? I'm not gonna break up with him over this or anything. I just wanna cry and scream! Do I actually want kids in the back of my mind? Is that why? Fuuuuccckkk I feel like I'm spiraling over some thing stupid. They didn't even include me or even ask what I want. What do I do? I know I'm probably over reacting but fuck this.

[OlderAndWiser]

You are in a panic because you feel that you have lost control over something that affects your body. The boyfriend should have never discussed this with his mother, and his mother should not be butting in. HINT: This guy is probably not The One.

[Asker]

That legit made me sad. I told him we could talk about it, I was gonna ask him if he is serious about us then I would think about it...

[MzAsh]

You have to remember that regardless of what anyone else wants, this is your decision. They can’t decide this for you. These are hormones going into your body, after all.
I’d really take this opportunity to assert your boundaries and tell them that you appreciate their recommendation, but you’ll have to take your time to think about what it is that you want.

[Little_Bumblebee]

They should never have any control over your body.
It is not their decision to make. Stand your ground on that.

What do YOU want? Do you prefer to stay with condoms? Do you want to take the pill or any other contraceptives? Or you can also pitch the idea of him getting a vasectomy - they are reversible and not a big procedure.

[3ossman]

Sure you want your kids to have a grandmother like that?

[Asker]

Fuck no.

[Li-Na]

Fact of the matter is, these things are meant to private and not to be spoken about with other family members for reasons that are obvious.

He crossed the boundary, speak with him or cut ties.

[Asker]

Is it even weirder if I say she starts the talks?

[Li-Na]

That's expected. She's basically part of this relationship, I'm assuming making decisions on behalf of her son too.

[Asker]

She basically is making it seem like it's his idea.

[Li-Na]

Ah, yes, the good ol' mothers' tactic.

[Asker]

So what do I do then?

[Li-Na]

Speak to him first. If he continues to supports the idea of allowing his mum to know all, then leave.

[Li-Na]

There should be no hesitation. Years down the line this woman would ruin your relationship.

[Anonymous]

She knows that he will be pounding you hard but neither of them want you to have his babies

[Asker]

I know that, but I feel like if their gonna talk about it include me in the conversation!

[Opinion Owner]

They did, At the point they made the decision they told you about it

[Asker]

Yeah, only after they made it for me. But I understand what you're saying.

[Opinion Owner]

you could do anal instead

[Asker]

lol!

[Opinion Owner]

i was being serious, but if laughing makes it easier on you then go ahead

[Asker]

Sorry for laughing, but my boyfriend is a no on butt stuff.

[Opinion Owner]

oh, gotcha