Am I a homewrecker?

[Anonymous]

I've this guy bestfriend who's engaged. He deeply loves his fiancée and I completely respect that.
The thing is, he used to ask me to stay on the phone with him till he falls asleep then, things escalated that we stay all the night sleeping on the phone together, waking up in the middle to casually talk then fall asleep again but recently he asked me to stop doing that because he feels like he's cheating on his fiancée , and we stopped.
He also mentioned how much he wait so we can talk and that he's attached to me "in a friendly way".
He always tells me that he loves me and that I'm beautiful "again, assuring me that he's not meaning it as a romantic interest"
On my behalf, I don't want anything more than friendship. I love talking to him so much. He's the first one I like to inform when anything happens to me and I enjoy everything we do together deeply. I do love him sincerely.
His fiancée doesn't know about our friendship.
My question is , Am I a homewrecker?

[Danny_dan92]

I mean if you two were flirting? Then yes, you are a home wrecker when you know he’s engaged.


But if you two just vented about your issues that made you two comfortable with each other on a friend level, then no. It’s not wrong, and if that’s the case what probably triggered him to tell you this was cause his fiancé got mad and told him to stop doing it

[FilmGuy93]

It's definitely an inappropriately close relationship, but I don't think you are a homewrecker until you intentionally go in and sabotage someone's relationship.

[Asker]

Why inappropriate?
I assure you nothing romantic is going on

[FilmGuy93]

There's a huge amount of intimacy you share with him though. He needs your voice to fall asleep, that's weird if he has girlfriend.

[Lady_Ann]

You can put yourself in his girlfriends shoes. How would you feel if your boyfriend fell asleep at another girls voice, and the spoke every night? Is it inappropriate now?

[FilmGuy93]

@Lady_Ann I don't need to put myself in her shoes. Your friendship with him is inappropriate no matter whose shoes I'm wearing. It is inappropriate for anyone to have that level of fondness for anyone other than their parents and their partner.

[Lady_Ann]

I was talking to her! Sorry, I don't know how to respond to the person. What do I press?

[NathanDavis]

I would not put any label on this, but it seems quite clear to me that the two of you are doing something that is very conflictive, and it will eventually and undoubtedly hurt the third person in this picture, and the two of you as well.

[Asker]

Conflictive?

[NathanDavis]

Yes, there is a "conflict" between what they two of you say and do.

You say the guy loves his fiancee deeply, if he really loved her, then he should not hide any of this to her, if he hides this is because he knows it could hurt her.
You say you respect this, yet, you're also part of the hiding and sneaking, which is very disrespectful to her, the fiancee, you're kind of crossing boundaries.
He already feels like he's cheating on her, this means he is very emotionally attached to you, while committed to her. again... this is a sign of him not being truthful about his "deep love".
He says he's attached in a friendly way to you, yet... this is not what friends do, should not do anyway.
When he says he loves you a lot and that you're so beautiful, again... friends do not need, should not be telling this stuff to one another, when one is in a committed relationship and about to marry someone else..
Then you say you do not want more than a frienship, but in reality you're crossing the boundaries of what a frienship should be, you're quite attached, emotionally to this guy that is about to marry and one who already feels like a cheater... and you're hiding it from the fiancee, so. This is not what friends do, or should not do.

This is not what friends do, this is not what friends should do.
He's emotionally cheating on the woman he's about to marry, and you're enabling him, so... this will end hurting the three of you, sooner or later.

And this is because none of you are being truly honest with one another, hiding and sneaking is and will be a big conflict.

[whitehide]

That guy is lying to you, and probably to himself, too.

[spartan55]

I have a few other words that fit you better.

[weysally]

no you are only looking for phone company