Gamers and guys (and girls), can you please give me some tips on how to be a better girlfriend?

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend is on discord with his friends like 10 hours a day, and he plays video games a few hours per day. I have a slight problem with it mainly because 1. It’s become a habit, 2. Because his habits are getting worse, we have less time to hang out. We’ve only been dating about 6 months, and when we first started dating, he wasn’t really gaming per-say. I don’t game, so I don’t know the gaming mojo very well. His sleep schedule is really unhealthy (goes to bed at 4am, wakes up at 12pm). Am I selfish to be concerned? I know it’s his private time, but I feel like his habits are slowly going to turn into an addiction. We don’t talk as much as we used to on the phone, his attitude is more vulgar and negative—I’ve noticed, his motivation towards certain things has changed. We see eachother on a few weeks days and sometimes the weekend, but he is constantly checking discord, going through insta, watching YouTube, and playing games. I want to be a good supportive girlfriend. If we move in together someday, I don’t want his gaming habits and sleep schedule to be a disruption. What should I do?

[Cynicaldreamer]

So I'm a gamer as well, and honestly, it sounds like his priorities are wrong. Yeah, I spend quite a bit of time gaming, checking my discord, talking to my friends, BUT, when you're in a relationship, you have to set aside time for your partner too; that's just common sense.

So first off, you need to voice your concerns and tell him how you feel. No, you're not being selfish or rude- that's called communicating. Without it, relationships can't function properly.

I know you're not a gamer, but maybe offer to watch him play his games sometime, or heck, ask him could he teach you to play! (most guys love that, haha) As it will give you something to bond over.

[Madhatter920]

If you want to spend more time with him, take an interest in his hobby. Play with him. A lot of guys love sharing the things they love with the people they love. He'll likely be excited if you join him.

Does his gaming actually interfere in his life? Is he ignoring responsibilities to play games? Missing school or work? Canceling dates or appointments? If so, then these are things you may want to point out to him. Voice your concern and suggest he at least take a break. Be careful in your approach, or he may become defensive. If his hobby isn't negatively impacting his life, then there isn't a problem. He's just got a normal hobby.

Games are just games, like chess. If he's more negative or vulgar, that's more likely because of the friends he's playing with. He's adopting their behavior and mannerisms, which is pretty normal. That's why our parents were always picky about friends we hung out with. :P

[OlderAndWiser]

You can't change him and you should not expect him to change. Would you be happy to live with him the rest of your life if he does not change these habits?

[Asker]

Um no because my concern for his health, long-term, would increase.

[OlderAndWiser]

Make your decision on the assumption that this will not get better.

[19magic]

It all depends at the moment I don't game much, and not nearly as much as I used to but still class myself as a gamer as I like the strategy within them, and well it's fun, so it's not like I want to be doing something else. But then I work and have other responsibilities and that comes first so if I play 2/3 hours a day that's cool and if I play 0 hours a day that's cool too

[Honesttguy]

What games he plays? Games are good way to connect with someone quick. And learn to know someone as well. Fastest way i know off. I can play few games with u and tell what kind peson u are. Cus of all different, situations that u have to overcome and strategies that u have to use. Playing some simple gsme with him would make stronger bond. But so does going to gym together or any activities

[SomeGuyCalledTom]

Dump him, and see if he turns his life around in hopes of winning you back. I mean, that's kinda the nuclear option, so don't take it lightly. But 10 hours a day spent on a fucking discord chat, combined with his irritable behavior and general laziness, is not indicative of a man you can look up to as a lover.

[Koalamate]

Sometimes games are a distraction if your depressed check up on him and just mention he might be neglecting things and you.
Bring up the fact you would like to move in and that it would be a disruption.

[MysticDevice]

Honestly it sounds like he's in the wrong here. As a gamer myself, if I had a girlfriend she'd be front and center first. Then when we're done with whatever we did the games come out.

Tell him exactly what you told us. I bet that will help.

[ItsMeItsMe1989]

Sacrifice

The greatest honor someone can have, is selfless, sacrifice.

I guarantee you, if you can sacrifice things, for others, you will be loved

[Asker]

I think that, thank you :)

[Asker]

I like* that

[ItsMeItsMe1989]

thanks

[cheapshotbob]

you need to dump the guy before you become hs second mom, because it seems he is on his way to molding you into the perfect girl friend you work he plays.

[Realistic07]

I saw a few questions. Firstly why did him and his friend have a falling out, secondly what are some activities that he would commonly do with his friends?

[jahaims]

Just tell him you expect more time from him since you are in a relationship. You sound pretty reasonable with how much you let him play.

[jahaims]

by the way I am a gamer. I find myself distracting myself more often with games when I am depressed. Some people game to destress or to distract them from life. Is it a new game he didn't used to play? That could be it too. He could just really be into a new game

[7771999]

No, you're 100% right to be concerned.

My sleep schedule is fucked. Not exactly because of gaming, but still.

[Anonymous]

That’s a conventional sleep schedule in my experience. Comes with the territory. That’s not reflective of a habit.

[Anonymous]

I think it is very annoying I would get bored and break up with him. However it is up to you if you love him that much you can have a serious conversation with him and he will spend more time with you.

[Shy_Steve]

You have a right to feel like that if your not spending that much time talking to him.

[queenish_]

A good man prioritizes his woman

[Angelsukuna]

IG his not into you anymore

[Asker]

Well that’s not true :)

[SpaceGalaxy]

Dump the loser!