If a man must have a good job, car and a nice house or apartment before marriage, what must a woman bring to the table?

Question

Ditto626 · Accepted Answer

Here's my part 1: Ok I'm going to try and say this without sounding sexist and mean. So if men are expected to provide all that stuff in a relationship then I expect my partner to have these things and qualities:

1. No kids from a previous relationship. (I want to raise MY kids not someone else's. I will accept if she is taking care of a kid of a friend or family member who passed away though. I just don't want to deal with that "You're not my real dad so I don't have to listen to you!!!" bullshit from a kid that's not mine.)

2. I expect the woman to have a job and bring home a paycheck herself. It doesn't have to be a lot but at least make $20,000 or so a year. Also if you expect a big house with nice stuff then you better be making $70,000 to help pay for it. This isn't the 1950s anymore and families can't get by on one salary anymore. If the woman makes a high six figure salary and wants me to be a house husband then I'd totally do that but this is reality and I'm no trophy. 😂

3. Keep yourself in shape. I'm expected to stay in shape then so should you.

4. Sex. Sex is one of the reasons we're motivated to pair off in the first place so it's important. I'll make sure my partner has a good time and gets off as much as she wants and I expect the same. Plus having naughty fun keeps the relationship interesting. I don't want to have a dead bedroom. I'm adding this about how Important sex is in the relationship. You don't have to have sex with me 24/7 but if I'm being shot down 9 time out of 10 I'm going to think you don't want me. I know life is stressful and you're not always in the mood but please try to have an open mind and work with me to have an amazing sex life together.

5. Cooking and other domestic jobs to keep the house running. I will be doing all of these as well so don't think I'm some backwards thinking sexist. I think both men and women should do the cooking, cleaning, and laundry. Also it would be nice if the woman helps out with the yard work. It snows a lot where I live and shoveling that crap is hard work. So put your coats on and grab a shovel ladies. It's time to be like Rosie the Riveter again.

6. If you have an attitude problem then learn to control it. It's fine to get mad about stuff and have a bad day but some women (and yes men too) act like they have an axe to grind and are always mad about something.

7. Keep your friends and family from making rude comments about me. If I'm doing my best to provide for you and keep you safe and happy I wouldn't appreciate your parents, siblings, or friends shit talking me or telling you that you can do better. If you allow it to happen then I'd break up with you and let you find someone else because clearly you believe them.

8. Just be nice to me and be patient with me. In trying my best in life to keep you happy and safe.

9. Use your words. Tell me what you want. I'm not a mind reader. Don't give me subtle hints (that aren't so subtle by the way so top it ladies) and just tell me what you want. To sigh, don't leave clues around the house, don't say something in passing conversation hoping I'll pick up on it. Just freaking tell me!!! Or leave me a list of things you want me to do.

10. This is going to sound sexist and I don't mean for it to but here goes. Try to control your Woman Logic. Don't over think things. I'm not thinking about much most of the time. I'm usually just day dreaming. A And the answer is yes I do want to have sex with other women but I'm not going to cheat on you. I don't believe in cheating. So if I'm fantasizing about another woman you're going to be in my mind participating too. B. Don't ask me if you look fat in your outfit because depending on your body type you might not like the answer. But remember I'm in a relationship with you and I'm attracted to you. C. Remember that I love you and you're my girl.

coachTanthony · Accepted Answer

Cooperation... femininity... loyalty... just to name a few!

Hyped_up_on_coffee · Accepted Answer

I wouldn’t really say that’s true. Some women settle for way less. Like... someone in my family. But ultimately it depends on what the man wants in a partner and how the both of you want to structure your marriage/domestic life style.
-Its probably a good idea for the woman to have a decent job as well. Considering most modern house holds need 2 incomes
- she has to be emotionally supportive/ and vice versa.
- it’s a good idea for both partners to know how to cook and do chores. Settle on the best schedule for domestic duties
-The couple should be on the same page on wether they want children or not. If y’all do then you are probably going to need to be ready to put your body through the strain of having kids. And learn how to be a good mom.
- it’s probably a good idea for the woman to also be on good terms with her in-laws. You are getting married to the family.
- and then there are things that are more specific to the man that you marry. Such as bringing him foot ball game snacks and letting him and his friends have fun. Or if he is a nerdy man you can appear on his gaming streams , and go to anime conventions with him.

remember every marriage is different but everyone needs to do work and put in effort.

Cynicaldreamer · Accepted Answer

First off, while all those features are nice, they're not a requirement for a REAL relationship to work, for either gender. Because realistically, nowadays both men and women can bring those attributes to the table.

With that being said, what should a woman bring to the table? Patience, loyalty and commitment, good communication skills (the ability to speak and listen well), maturity, and the ability to support and uplift her partner so they can thrive together.

I'm not going to count materialistic things because as I said, those really don't make a real relationship or marriage-

Apope16 · Answer

God damn. This is excellent! Bless you for asking. I can't because I will be called a woman hater. The short answer from much of my questions and responses is women have zero clue. They think all they need to do in a a relationship is lay on their back and open their legs.

jennifer_bloom · Answer

I think she has to be busy in some way and responsible with money and treat people with kindness and be loyal when she is loved and appreciated and respected, whether she is busy with family or kids or chores or school or church or volunteer or work is irrelevant, but she has to be busy with something.

HiveBee · Answer

Before marriage? Hell, a man has to have that at much much more just to get a date.

Such as confidence. Qnd confidence is a funny word. It means far more than people realize. And most men probably dont have nearly as much as women wish he had.

But, I suppose as a man, one can always settle for a hairy fat and un feminine she-beast if you dont have the confidence and resources to get what we really want.

Personally I want a beautiful and sexy woman who is also intelligent and feminine and also emotionally mature. No more rage-a-holics, whiners and complainers, and poor motherhood material for me. I dont want my future children to grow up being screamed at and beaten like I see many women doing.

But its all a spectrum. We all get the best we can get. For some of us, it's a big strong masculine confident man with resources, a beautiful sexy intelligent mature woman... or on the other end a disgusting she-beast with no care about herself, or a basement dwelling mamas boy.

It's a spectrum. We all wish for perfect and we all settle for our own similar spot on the spectrum. Nobody has to do anything unless they want something different from what they are.

worldscolide · Answer

Thats an incredibly good question, Because most women who demand all of those things from their men, Bring absolutely NOTHING to the table..

When i met my wife, i had a shoe box apartment. ( one bedroom, combined living room and kitchen) and a car. Not a great job, but higher than minimum wage. She was a broke college student.. The thing that made me want to keep her... She never once made those kind of demands on me. Not once.

Women that make those kinds of demands are best avoided..

Boromir · Answer

That's totally culturally defined. Where I come from it's normal that both the man and the woman partake equally in the relation, they both would work, and add money to the common account. It's normal that one earns more than the other. They try to share tasks in the household and try to take care of the kids equally.

I don't like at all the attitude of women that are there 'to capture' and then to enter a household as the person who manages all, the man has always to cater for all her whims, I agree that running a household is a task that requires a lot of energy and time, and ideally it's shared, but I don't see any reason why I should replace a father that spend all his money on a spoiled daughter just because she's ready to have sex once a week in return. Then it's fairer to go to a prostitute or simply wank.

I want a relation with someone I love, and that brings next to love and respect also input in fair portions depending on the job she has.

sofiec · Answer

Generally, it was a dowry... lol.

Most of those things weren't the responsibility of the man. The woman's family would give a good amount of property and home tools (kitchen stuff, farm stuff, animals, whatever) as a sort of "payment" for not having to deal with having a girl (who generally did not work in the fields as much as boys did, except in east Africa, where women did farmwork while men stood sentry).

The role of any partner is to support and love them, and to back them up even when they're wrong, and to care for vulnerability when most men (especially traditional ones like that) are so afraid of being vulnerable that having one person who they can be such with can make a huge difference. Men that try to act like 'men' even in private are just obnoxious. people say it's all about sex but sex is just part of expressing vulnerability to your partner, and in doing so, creates trust, especially when it's not violated.

MrOracle · Answer

Femininity. Peacefulness. Comfort. A fairly limited body count. And for the majority of men looking for marriage, the desire to be a stay-at-home mom for the kids.

Some things that a lot of women THINK men find valuable, but do not, are:

- her career
- her education
- being an "strong, independent woman"
- Instagram followers

Women like that often have no trouble attracting men - even some high-value men - for dates or casual sex; maybe even casual dating - but those men are NEVER going to take a relationship with her seriously, and marriage is never going to be in the cards. But because she can attract attention, she believes (despite years without success) that this "attention" is all potentially serious. She's not quite sure why things have never really worked out, but it's never crossed her mind that none of those men she's dated ever seriously considered marriage with her.

Joey_007 · Answer

At the end of the day these things aren't yours and when you or he decide to brake things off and you have a prenup this means you'll be unable to take care of yourself. You can't hinge your wellbeing on a relationship, a car, salary and home are necessary tools to make your life more comfortable not bartering chips for a relationship the only thing two people should bring into a relationship is themselves people get into relationship for the companionship not benefits and it should just be your priority to have a nice, car, home and salary or to at least have the ability to get them.

andreasderjuengere · Answer

When I look at it through history/tradition: the woman is required to come up with a dowry; these are typically household goods, textiles and such.
Based on the size of the dowry, the 'brides' status/value was partly specified and determined.
As for the ''... good job, car and a nice house or apartment... '' - these would have been parts of the male equivalent; it's called dower.
Basically, this served to secure for eventualities, but also was a mechanism to ensure that couples socially and economically were a match.
Nowadays I translate these ''qualifying factors'' (for myself) into character/personality traits. She STILL is required (and so am I, b. t. w.) to be of appropriate status or 'value'; but not based on a materialistic aspect.
As examples:
- capable to interact and to move in the same social levels as I do
- sharing (my/our) life goals and the methods that lead towards them
- loyalty, support, effort, sense of responsibility, consistency

hi_it_is_me123 · Answer

You mean from a traditional man? Why would someone expect this from a man in todays time in western world? In the past women can't or was not expected to work or be financially independent -it is still like this in some middleeastern/Asian countries but nowdays why do you need a man with a car and house? I mean i can understand if you want your partner to have a job since you want him to be financially independent like you. I personally prefere virgin guy around my age (-or younger) with average looks (-being tall is a huge plus) and it is also important that he can clean the house like me and is willig to learn cooking. I dont mind him to be houseman but i still go to school and he has to wait till i can provide him.

TheSpaceGnome · Answer

Men don't actually need to bring any of that to the table in order to get married.

Most marriages happen long before either person has a good job, a nice house/apartment (or even a car if in a city)

Those really aren't reasons sane people date.

ananias55 · Answer

That usually depends on what the guy wants. Some of us want her to be hard working and provide as well.

Others want her to be good looking and to rely entirely on him so she can stay home and take care of the house.

Ultimately it depends on what he wants because he's the one that decides if he wants to marry her. So the women making a list. Don't bother. Just be yourself and if he's interested then you're perfect for him.

cth96190 · Answer

Other than her reproductive system, there is nothing that a female can offer that a man cannot do for himself.
Women have made themselves so legally and financially toxic that sane men will cross the street to avoid interaction with one.
In some jurisdictions, such as Britain and Denmark, a man who approaches a woman can be sent to prison for years on a hate crime charge.
Why would any sane man take that risk?
Sex robots are coming.

TruthBringer · Answer

Next to the obvious which are sex and the womb:

1. Beauty
2. Youth
3. Being in good shape
4. little to no body count
5. True confident femininity (not trying to act like a man).
6. Loyalty
7. Being modest and not trying to advertise herself to the world (in public or on social media)
8. Traditional values and gender roles in and outside the house (since I have them aswel).

Ellie-V · Answer

Umm the same thing 🤷🏾‍♀️ Like I don't know what’s with this whole attitude of what men and women bring to the table. It’s not rocket science. Two sane, healthy ADULTS who know how to be adults and comprise when necessary. Adults should be making money and understanding what it means to take care of yourself and the next person.

CaliDad · Answer

This question is premised on an antiquated, paternalistic, and religion-based social construction. How can our society move toward equity and inclusion when we can't even agree that women are capable of providing for a family, and men are capable of caring for a household?

Searlas · Answer

Control and controversy - makes sure no other woman talks to you at your good job, literally drives your car and occupies your nice house, then takes over your bed and kicks you to the sofa and finally claims your car and your nice house, takes your baby and kicks you out.

DollAlone · Answer

She should bring an equal amount of those things if she "expects" the man to already have them. Why should the man be the one who has everything established while the woman gets to reap the benefits just cause she is a girl? Im not agreeing to that

Anonymous · Answer

A stable Job.

Good 🐱

& Nourishment

• • • A stable job because what happens in an event of an emergency?
Your man gets in a car accident, breaks his leg & Can’t work for a good year..

What will you guys do? It can be part time, just Something.

• • • Good 🐱
Nothing like a woman who’ll allow you to relieve your stress in her & Make you feel manly.

• • • Nourishment
Beast needed his beauty
Hulk Needed his Woman

We all need that tender touch , no matter how manly we are... Even if you’re just sitting behind him holding him, rubbing his back.. kissing his neck... We need that.

TheFlak38 · Answer

Her entitlement.

If a man must have a good job, car and a nice house or apartment before marriage, what must a woman bring to the table?

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