The no contact rule is actually intended to give you time to work on yourself. It sounds very much that you may be co dependent, although I’m not a therapist. I only say this from my own personal experience. You should look up Helena Hunt videos on youtube. She’s great and will explain the things to you that I can’t possibly get through bus typing them out. I will tell you that men are natural predators and most need a little chase. Chase, mystery, curiosity, NOT GAMES. If you let him know he has you, then what does he need to work for? You are the goal, the end prize. If you give that to him willingly then he doesn’t have to put in work. You want him to ‘earn’ you so that he has a vested interest in you. Just like how If someone earns something they usually take better care of it than if it’s just handed to them. Please work on your self and anything you don’t feel good about and most importantly don’t let anyone else dictate your happiness. Please please watch those videos-they’ll help so much! Also, I recommend that every woman reads the book “Why Men Love Bitches." It is not how it sounds. It's just about learning to put yourself first. It teaches how to set boundaries and how to not be afraid to lose people who don't show you, with their actions, that they value you. Trust me, you are so much more valuable than you believe and he knows that. You just aren't presenting yourself as high value. Believe me, I get it. Stick to the no contact else for rule and find your own happiness. If he comes back then he does, but in the meantime you're going to learn how to make yourself happy. You are beautiful. You are worthy. You are enough. You ARE enough. ♥️
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NO. If anything it actually makes matters worse because you're not communicating your feelings or issues with said relationship, so you're not resolving the issues. You're just distancing yourself from them.
Though anon, it sounds like that guy checked out and lost interest in you a long time ago. He just doesn't have the courage to tell you he's done or wants to move on... why I don't know. So instead, he's just distancing himself more and more from you until you lose interest on your own, or you get the hint when he stops communication all together. He's just using the "I'm busy" excuse to justify his behavior.
I'm going to tell you, and anyone else who's reading this comment the same thing: if someone is genuinely interested in you, they will make time for you!!! No matter how busy, stressed out, tired, upset, etc... they are. If they like you enough, they will have the courtesy to at least send you a quick message, such as "Hey, I'm busy, but I miss you..." or, "I can't talk now because I'm busy with x, but I'll catch up with you later..." Basically they make an effort and reach out to you.
So by not contacting him, you're doing what he wants- further distancing yourself from him so you can end things, or he won't feel guilty about it. Honestly, if he really cared, you wouldn't have do to this in the first place... and I know you don't want to hear this, but I'm just telling you like it is.
In other words, I'd use this "no contact" time to distance get over this guy and move on with your life.
No contact will improve a relationship as well as focusing on pushing our agenda onto the other person. Any extreme will destroy a relationship. It's important to keep our eyes open so we can observe changes in others and not just focus on our own feelings. Did you believe lashing out at him would draw him closer? Would it have worked for you? Never choose something you wouldn't appreciate being on the receiving end of.
Neither of you have clearly focused on the other. You may feel he doesn't communicate, but maybe he doesn't feel safe to communicate. If you want a healthy relationship, learn effective communications skills together. Don't assume you already know how. After all, your patterns haven't taken you where you claim you wanted to go. Define terminology together. Find out how each of you defines relationships and all aspects related to relationships and whatever might be important to the other person. Learn about each other rather than focus primarily on your perspective.
Not at all, a "no contact rule", means he will face legal problems if he contacts you. Any smart man will block your number, block your email and block anything about you.
What it sounds like is he got you boots up and found you lacking, he has no desire in you accept to dip his wick and blow a nut.
Move on, he already has.
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No contact rules means you don't have a relationship... What kind of relationship has no contact? And, people can be busy, sure... But if they're always too busy for you but make time for others, then that alone should indicate you or your relationship is not really a priority to him... And you should go no contact not as a way to get him back... More because it doesn't seem like he really wants the same things you do... If you asked him to get together and discuss and he didn't reply or agree, again that should tell you something right there... If someone really wants to be with you, they'll find a way to be.. If they don't, they'll find excuses..
Going No Contact involves having the mindset to get this person out of your life for good. By blocking their number, emails and social media. It's not only intended for you to have no contact but for your ex to not be able to contact you in any way. People who've suffered from narcissistic abuse are advised going 'No Contact' in order to escape and heal.
The whole point is because narcs always contact and keep tabs not because they avoid. I don't know who decided it was a way to get an ex back and yeah, I understand why, because getting cut off infuriates a toxic controlling person and makes them go crazy with need to contact the person, but it is not what it was intended for.
It's not a game or some trick. You can't manipulate people into missing you by no contact or the silent treatment. It wouldn't be real. I'm sorry hun but save yourself some heartache and just move on. Trust me it is very difficult to maintain no contact. It's not something that is usually done willingly but out of necessity. You're better of just trying to heal your heart.This guy should treat you a lot better, and it doesn’t sound like he respects you. He’s immature and if he can’t even communicate with you properly, he needs to go. He got a lot of growing up to do and you deserve better than this clown. Don’t give him the time of day anymore, dont talk to him until he tries to win you back. He's the one that messed up and now he's going to have to fight for you. Find other guys to talk to, dont put all your eggs in one basket. There are plenty of guys out there who would treat you a lot better. I understand what you're going through, its painful but you need to distract yourself from him.
Hun you are so stupid , you deserve to be played.
He’s probably married. Weekends tend to be the days that people are off. If he’s only seeing you during work days , it means he’s spending weekends with more valuable people in his life
sorry to say this. But if you keep going on the path that you’re taking , you’re just gonna get hurt BIG TIME.
You better pull out or else something bad will happenHe has a girlfriend./wife. Move on if you want a man to treat you like a girlfriend.
You met him a few times.
You only meet on weekdays.
He goes missing at night.
He takes out his frasturations on you.
So on...
Good to know now. Block his number. Heal yourself.
Go meet a guy who will take you out on weekends
Who will listen to you
Who will be there for you
Who will love you
You will know and feel the difference.
Never put all your eggs in one basket till he makes you a princess.He’s either not interested at all or there’s someone else he’s more interested in. I’d bet that he only goes on weekday dates with you because his weekends are for someone else.
No contact will not bring you closer. It will kill the little relationship that you have but that’s a good thing because it seems to be going nowhere fast.I don't see or ever used no contact to save the relationship. I see it more as a necessary step that we need to take after a break up in order to detach from the other person.
If a guy likes you, he'll make it clear. You won't be agonizing your every move. My boyfriend is in medical school and he still makes time for me.
Wtf is no contact rule? That's not a thing. If he can't communicate effectively then he needs to grow up or you need to get a new boyfriend. You already let him know what's up I imagine, so if he's unwilling to change you should consider your options. You don't deserve to be in a relationship if you can't communicate.
It sounds to me like he broke up with you. But he was very rude about it. He wouldn't even allow you to have a discussion with him to talk it out and get closure. I think he's either a narcissist or a coward, or both.
Make sure your mouth doesn't write checks that your body cannot cash
Meanwhile watch the movie, pointbreak it will change your lifeMostly it doesn't work. On the contrary it can be detrimental to relationships, it can result in the relationship coming to an end.
After I sad I do that was the last time she kissed hold hug anything wouldn't even sit next to me she used me just to become a united States citizen it was over in 5 months
no. if you can't fix your issues to the point where you feel the need to have a "no contact" rule, just call it quits and cut your losses.
No contact is about getting over someone after a breakup,
The no contact rule is for when you break up. It's to get them wondering about you.
You shouldn't have been intimate with him yet. Sorry but its probably over. Move on. Keep your legs closed next time.
Dump his ignorant ass
No contact works well to destroy a relationship when one partner is an emotional parastite (also not emotional).
If he is a decent dude and you do this you will never see him again
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