Does the no contact rule bother you in a FRIEND situation?

[Anonymous]

I can't go into detail, but I have a guy friend that is really taking me for granted ( never anything sexual) . I think he knows (or thinks) that I'll always be there for him so he doesn't put much effort into our friendship. I've been giving serious thought to just ending the friendship and walking away for good, but he's one of those people that I'll always have a soft spot for unfortunately. So instead, I've decided on a 30 day period of no contact with him. I want to see what his response will be. I'm not expecting any dramatic response, but I'm wondering if he'll at least reach out to me to see what the problem is. It he doesn't reach out, well I guess that'll be my sign that the friendship is truly one sided and no good for me and I'll have to do my best to move on.

So, my question is does the no contact rule work in a strictly friends relationship?

[Blong2u]

I think you have made the right decision if it's what feels right to you. But yes I think it can. Sometimes no matter what the relationship it takes a person knowing what their life would be like without you in it and missing you to really appreciate you. Especially if you feel they take you for granted and if they don't then you couldn't have meant that much to begin with. If it turns out that way it's hurtful, but sometimes it necessary. If he doesn't I am sorry you will lose a close friend they are very hard to find. Best of luck to you. I would also before ending the friendship talk to him about the way you feel or how he's treating you. As a friend that's always the right thing to do. It's better to know that you tried your best if you have to walk away or it can haunt you or bother you in the future.

[dragonfly6516]

Handle this the same way you should handle all relationships, no matter the type.

If you're thinking of walking away from it, then you've already emotionally ended it, and there's no longer any point to wasting more effort because you've already decided that it might not be fixable.

[seagreen]

Yes it bothers me but when I explain that this situation bothers me some of my friendships ended, I am really bad at selecting true friends. I totally agree with you, it's one sided friendship.

[Quintin32]

If he is a real friend you shouldn't have to give him a 30 day wait. Your going have to talk to him straight up, and express your feelings. That's the only way you will see where he stands in your world. He might not realize what he's doing in you guys relationship, some need to be told... speak your mind don't be afraid. Your already thinking about no contact for 30 days, why not. He can either respect you or not, as long as you respect your wants and wishes.

[Piggsylamb]

I wish girls would think like guy sometimes, I'll probably be waiting a year before reaching out.
I just fell for the wrong woman who's thinks its better to live in silence then go back to friendship. So I am in limbo wondering but maybe she was never a friend.

[Nostalgiasteve]

Most of my friends never talk to me unless I go out of my way to have a conversation with them, they're mostly pretty cool usually but It's not like I'd expect something from them other than just not being complete aholes. You don't deserve something from him just as a friendship, if he was your boyfriend that'd be completely different.

[FemWorship]

This works best if you actually HAVE something else to do that's fun & productive toward the day such a split becomes permanent = shopping a boyfriend that has plenty of fun things to do together. Otherwise, many gals-nights-out, vacation with friends, classes, etc.

[Anonymous]

It doesn't work much for girls on guys, whether it's friends or lovers, simply because guys don't have the same perception of time that girls do.

A guy can go two or three days without talking to someone and hardly notice. If he's focused on something else, it can be longer. If he's away on a trip or something, longer again.

The no contact thing works best when guys do it to girls. Girls notice. Guys don't.

[gary_oak]

if u r true friends then no contact won't be a problem, me n my friend just tag each other some memes but won't text much or keep in contact much. if you are thinking to end it. don't take a chance or a soft spot, ask him directly and say ur opinion

[worldscolide]

if my friend did that to me honestly I'd drop that friend. I'm sorry it's a very childish immature way of handling things, as well as a poor excuse for lacking the courage to tell him straight up what your issues are.. some friend you are.

[Nephilim000]

I have never had a problem with it. Some friendships can survive some separation. and some can't. the ones that can't i am fine without. They that do tend to be the friendships of legend.

[Anonymous]

The no contact rule is not to get a response, it's used to move on from a bad connection. Sometimes it can work in unexpected ways but I think it's about intention.

[reptocarl]

What you're really doing is a sick juvenile game. I'd never speak to you again just for that

[melodybluesy]

are you wanting more than friends? is that why you're doing that?

[thomasans]

You shouldn't be wondering if they are your friend or not. Can you only have a certain number?

[Crankor]

What kind of response would you be expecting? I'm curious what kind of effort your referring to. Maybe your really just acquaintances?

[Justinaveragedude]

No, but my friends don't sound as dickish as this guy.

[thomasans]

A true friend should be able to have long periods without any communication and pick up next time

[Barrabus_the_Free]

This. I have friends that I hadn't talked to in about a decade, and when we got back together it was like we'd never been apart.

Of course, after a while I decided I didn't really want to associate with them anymore, but that's a different story.

[Browneye57]

Too many games. Amazing he puts up with all that BS.

[DavidDivad]

no contact rule... never heard of it

if you think this way... yes you should walk away... it won't work

[Anonymous]

If he's taking you for granted, he's not your friend

[Anonymous]

guy "friends"

you have a boyfriend. just say "boyfriend"

[Lumberman53]

Yes.