Throughout all the drama, chaos, and struggles almost everyone else managed to go on a date. I don’t understand why it’s different in my life.
My history with guys:
Age 10 + 11:
I had crushes but no guy liked me like that
Age 12:
I fell in love and had what is still the most romantic experience of my life with an amazing guy.
One day in class, I was laughing because he was being really funny. Our teacher asked me what’s so funny. I said “him” while pointing at him and smiling. (I meant it in a very friendly, positive way, and I thought that was obvious.) He then suddenly looked sad and said to my teacher something like, “wait, what?”
I had to get to my next class (that he didn’t share with me). I had to leave before the end of the period because of an appointment.
In the days that followed, I didn’t see him around. I thought okay, he’s sick or whatever. He’ll be back.
I eventually heard he moved away.
Age 13:
I experienced what is still the 2nd most romantic experience of my life with the 2nd guy I fell in love with. I was over the moon. Things got really hot between us, but then one day I saw him with another girl and then hardly talked to me again.
From age 13-15 I received essentially no flirtatious attention from any guy and I didn’t see any options for dating.
Age 16:
I had an extremely intense emotional affair with my teacher. We fell in love and he was very abusive and controlling. I usually couldn’t even seem interested in another guy without him punishing me for it.
Age 17:
I fell in love with a boy, way more intensely than I’ve ever been in love with anyone else, but he didn’t feel the same. It took me about 8 years to get over the heartbreak enough to feel comfortable dating another guy.
Age 25:
I became available to date again but didn’t have a chance to meet any new guys before the pandemic started. (and for various reasons I can’t date (online or in person) during the pandemic.)
My history with guys:
Age 10 + 11:
I had crushes but no guy liked me like that
Age 12:
I fell in love and had what is still the most romantic experience of my life with an amazing guy.
One day in class, I was laughing because he was being really funny. Our teacher asked me what’s so funny. I said “him” while pointing at him and smiling. (I meant it in a very friendly, positive way, and I thought that was obvious.) He then suddenly looked sad and said to my teacher something like, “wait, what?”
I had to get to my next class (that he didn’t share with me). I had to leave before the end of the period because of an appointment.
In the days that followed, I didn’t see him around. I thought okay, he’s sick or whatever. He’ll be back.
I eventually heard he moved away.
Age 13:
I experienced what is still the 2nd most romantic experience of my life with the 2nd guy I fell in love with. I was over the moon. Things got really hot between us, but then one day I saw him with another girl and then hardly talked to me again.
From age 13-15 I received essentially no flirtatious attention from any guy and I didn’t see any options for dating.
Age 16:
I had an extremely intense emotional affair with my teacher. We fell in love and he was very abusive and controlling. I usually couldn’t even seem interested in another guy without him punishing me for it.
Age 17:
I fell in love with a boy, way more intensely than I’ve ever been in love with anyone else, but he didn’t feel the same. It took me about 8 years to get over the heartbreak enough to feel comfortable dating another guy.
Age 25:
I became available to date again but didn’t have a chance to meet any new guys before the pandemic started. (and for various reasons I can’t date (online or in person) during the pandemic.)
