I moved in with my boyfriend and I hate it?

[Anonymous]

I moved in with my boyfriend and I found out that I don't like him as much as I thought.
I find him incredibly selfish because he asked me to move to his state because he could not handle the hot weather in my state but whenever I complain about it being cold he tells me it is not cold. Like I'm not allowed to feel cold when it's raining he literally get's upset if I'm not like yes it's raining, perfect weather.

He is always in a bad mood. Like today, I woke up today with plans of what I was going to do and he was in a bad mood and didn't leave until he brought my mood down and ruined my day. He has very paranoid and always rushing me. I forgot my debit card in the store because he was rushing so much. I'm miserable in my boyfriend's state because it's always cold, I don't no anyone but my boyfriend here, I don't no my way around, and I'm incredibly bored because I had to quit my job to move here.
I DON'T KNOW WHHAT TO DO

[Anonymous]

it seems like you might have rushed into something you weren't prepared for. You were going into this relationship with a blindfold because you didn't know how he actually lives and who he really was. I did something like this once too and moved to a place I didn't know for some guy I hardly knew only for him to pretty much abandon me. I don't know how long you've been dating him but it doesn't seem like too long if you're now discovering his personality which seems like he's always grumpy. Also maybe it seemed like a long distance relationship sort of thing at first? Those can also be very misleading. But it's good that you found out now than if things were to get even more serious. It also just seems like you're not very compatible. Being a couple doesn't always mean it's perfect and happy. But it's another thing if you're actually miserable and unhappy. You don't need to live that way, you have a choice. If you can't stand him at this moment, either you need to talk to him about it and be completely honest about everything because I don't think he's happy either. He's probably not happy that you're super dependent on him for companionship and for other stuff. Either you try to make it work (Has to be you both) and start making a life for yourself there in that state- working, being active in the community, making new friends and being more independent and he has to change and be less annoying and grumpy (if he won't and that's just how is and I suggest you go), or what you can do if you really want to leave is apply to jobs right now (do anything decent for now) . Then break it off and tell him it was a mistake going there and your not happy and you feel like you both are unhappy and it wasn't what you expected and leave. If you feel like it's worth the struggle then stay, if you're just too miserable and can't see anything positive from it then you know what to do.

[EmmaMary]

Just how soon after meeting your boyfriend did you move in with him?

[Asker]

3 years

[EmmaMary]

In that case you surely must have known and experienced all of his controlling attitudes.
If it's at all humanly possible you need to break this relationship and find a way of returning home.

[EmmaMary]

Thank you for the MHGirl.

[MrOracle]

It sounds to me like you know what to do - you just don't want to have to face up to that reality.

You need to break up with this guy and move home. And you need to learn this truth: always date LOCALLY, because long-distance relationships virtually never work. Even though you closed the distance by moving to another state to be with him, things were so different there that, effectively, there was still a vast distance between the two of you.
You made some bad decisions - and he doesn't seem to be all that great either, though to be fair, we're not hearing his side of the story - but you're still young enough to change course, regroup, and get back on track. I recommend you start that process ASAP.

[Leavesbound]

I would say you have not chosen your boyfriend wisely. I live in Florida because I can't stand the cold. But I waited until my winter loving ex broke up with me to move here from the frozen wasteland commonly referred to as New England. I chose not to immediately date again until I moved to Florida for the precise reason that I didn't want to have to try to talk someone into moving to Florida with me. I would only consider dating someone who loves it here.

[Levin]

Yeah, that's red flag no 1.

He doesn't give a shit or appear to have concern about what is upsetting you.

Selfish indeed.

Like you say, he's also dragging you down, dragging your mood down to his level. He's bad for your personal and spiritual development.

What can we say? It's not working, move back?

[LiamSawyer]

Simple darling, move back home. If he wants to follow (hopefully not) let him otherwise you're done with him and his selfish ways.

[exitseven]

You need to break up with him and move back where you came from. You hate it there and you are starting to not like him so much.

[Wise4myage]

Its obvious you made a mistake so end this relationship and move back home.

[msc545]

Easy solution - move back to where you came from.

[In_Trance]

So... move out