Am I being unreasonable?

[Anonymous]

I told my boyfriend I wanted to have a date night a week ahead of time I gave him two days to pick and he said he had to work one of the nights so the next day I texted him what time he was coming to pick me up. 5 hours later he replies that he won’t be able to do it cause his ex decided to go out so he has to watch the kids. I got upset and didn’t reply. He thens go and send me a follow up text of a screenshot of some girl hitting on him. I was furious so I said “go out with her then if you want” and he replies by saying I hurt his feelings. He thinks me being mad about date night is not reasonable. But now he is mad at me for saying to go out with that girl.

[Anonymous]

I have to agree with him on this one, love. Don’t get me wrong, I can understand you feeling upset, anyone would be bummed for a plan they made in advance to fall through at the last minute. But I also think you have to notice that he won’t always get to control these instances when it comes to his kids. That’s why dating a dad seems fine in the beginning until that area of his life starts affecting you and your relationship. He may not have made the best choice in baby mama, and until they have some sort of written or court validated agreement regarding when he has the kids, then you’ll be subject to disappointments such a this. If she’s inconsiderate or used to getting her way with him then this sort of thing will most certainly occur again in the future. Leaving you to decide if a relationship with him is one you’re really ready for. Your behavior and frame of mind will have to be tweaked drastically in order to accept his life as a dad, which you probably didn’t have to do so much in the beginning but now you will. It’s a lot. Being in your shoes is not for everyone and a big decision to stick by. Also, I think when he showed you the message, he thought it was harmless or him being open with you. But he picked the wrong time, and that wasn’t smart of him to do, knowing that you were already upset. The “go out with her then” or whatever you’d said (I can’t return to the original statement yet for reference) was pretty childish. I don't know if you even believe that jealousy, insecurity or anger was what he was trying to create with you, it was just a dumb-guy thing he did.